Mismatched
Yuki
Chapter 15 - Confrontation 101
Author's Notes: Kind of weird flow of narration. Hope you guys like this bit. Thanks so much for the reviews! Only five more chapters to go and we'll all see who gets to end up with who. And as always, C&Cs are welcome! Feel free to tell me anything you want!
Chapter 15 - Confrontation 101
THE UNOFFICIAL REPORT:
Hiko woke up to the sound of rustling paper. Really, such an infestimal sort of sound that one would understandably not be made aware of it, especially in a sleepy-barely-awake-state but because he was The Greatest, he had heard it and had automatically known who the messenger was - more importantly though, he knew exactly what the content of the message was. More or less anyway. He was great, but he was no prophet, that he had to admit. Although, if he really did put his mind into it, he was sure that he could be a prophet too. But that would bore him to tears - knowing his opponent's every move and not that he needed to know them anyway too. He was resigned to the fact that he was that amazing that he need not guess what move his opponent would make as he was always able to counter it. Sometimes even with one eye closed and one hand fixing his hair.
On a second thought though, it could be a perfect tool to torture his baka deshi: Deshi, in two days time, you're going to be thawped on the head by either your chicken head friend or that tomboy girlfriend of yours. Or quite possibly, both of them.
Hiko opted for the latter. He grinned and wondered how his baka deshi would react to that. Perhaps an "oro" would be a good guess. But, oh, enough of his baka deshi, he had an important report to read and analyze. After all twenty jugs of sake were at stake here.
Grumbling at his disturbed morning sleep (Beauty rest wasn't just manly enough) he slowly made his way towards the door, where a folded paper was left underneath an old creation of his - a jug with an engraved dragon and tiger twisting and turning in a gracefully violent fight. Hiko immediately felt irritated. How dare that incompetent ninja fool touch his work of art? He would have to personally terrorize Okina for such blasphemy! The old man should teach his moronic minions respect for national treasures.
He snapped the letter open and read the curly handwriting. The report was from the three spies delivered by Shiro. Good. Okina probably thought that if either Okon or Omasu delivered the daily reports, one of them would try to molest him. Not that Hiko would have any problem with that...
Hiko shrugged. Oh well, time to know what has been happening inside the circus of a dojo slash restaurant of theirs.
He took his time reading the whole unofficial report.
Dinner last night had been very interesting.
There were two reported cases of choking. First victim had been Kaoru-chan who had positively turned blue and green after seeing Himura-san leaning towards Megumi-san. Himura-san had been clearly invading the doctor's very personal space and was whispering something to her that upon hearing whatever it was that he had said, Megumi-san had become immediate victim number two - ungracefully spitting food all over the table.
Hiko blinked and tried to think of what his deshi had said. Probably asked the lady doctor for sex on top of the dinner table. Good thing Takani-san didn't get too sick from that thought.
He read the next paragraph and blinked in surprise, re-reading the entry once again a small smirk tugging at his lips.
[Note: Hiko-sama, I want you to know that I am available next week and would love it if you can take me to dinner and...]
It was heavily crossed out and the report continued on in a more formal manner, obviously written this time by that Shiro.
Back to the report and I apologize for that minor distraction. Omasu is pleading by the way that you ignore the unfair way that Okon is trying to get you behind her back and the rest, I refuse to write down because of the level of its perverseness and I deem it immoral to put those words into paper. I shall continue with the report as you have requested Mighty Stud.
After having agreed that official reports would be delivered in his home, they had decided to have code names. He had thought of his code name and was damn proud of it. If people have any trouble trying to think who Mighty Stud was, well, Hiko thought that there was no hope for the people of this country to start thinking logically and intelligently. Because really, his code name was already a dead-give away. Continuing on with the letter, Hiko quietly sat down, raising his eyebrows as he read some more.
Death glares were exchanged in a rate impossible to put into numbers. Indeed, they were all lucky that death glares are not capable of actually killing anyone, or else, a mass burial would be promptly scheduled.
Aside from choking, there was Takani-sensei accidentally throwing water on Sano's face who had been sitting directly across from her. And that particularly nasty cup-throwing incident that according to very reliable witnesses, Aoshi-sama actually started.
Aoshi-sama vehemently denied this and pointed out Sagara as being the culprit. He added that: "The Punk deserved more than that!"
Sano refused to comment on the matter.
There were also a number of unaccounted elbowing and kicking under the table from Misao to... well, whoever her elbows and feet connected with. Later that night Aoshi found two bruises on his shin while Sano had five.
It could have further escalated into tonsil ripping when Megumi had flippantly announced that she thought she saw Sano and Misao kissing that afternoon but wasn't really sure.
There were no denials uttered however as Sano had bolted up, ran out of the room and managed to squeeze himself inside the storage room a few meters away from the Aoiya.
Aoshi had sat there for a few seconds, a frozen expression on his face and was polite enough to excuse himself. No one was sure where he went, but judging by the way Sano had gone missing the whole night, Shinamori-san probably locked Sano up inside said storage room.
Himura-san, left with the three glowering girls, once again oro-ed his way out of trouble. He stacked up the plates using his lighting fast reflexes and announced that dishes had to be done immediately. And off he went to the kitchen effectively barring the door with two tables.
Hiko muttered a curse. Shameful! His baka deshi running away from three girls to do the dishes! He would have to schedule, yet again, another long talk with his deshi. And this time, he would be sure to use not only visual aids but physical examples as well! That ought to teach Kenshin a lesson!
What followed next was something that everyone in the whole house had been waiting for. The semi-culmination of all the planning and scheming that had gone down in three days.
Three days! Good Lord, what a scary thought. In three days time, everyone's just about ready to maul if not actually kill each other. One just can imagine what would happen after this whole week...
Here the ugly hand writing finally stopped and Hiko was quiet thankful that Omasu finally had the chance to report her observations. Reading Shiro's penmanship was starting to give him a headache.
Back to the girls. No. No cat fight occurred, most unfortunately as Shiro commented the following morning. But there had been a confrontation of some sort.
Although, it is to my deepest regret that we do not have a report on the confrontation. Shiro suffered from an accident that prevented him from observing the girls. Okon and I would report on the boys as soon as they start having some reaction from last night's dinner. We are all under the impression that the men are currently on a state of denial and have locked themselves inside their respective rooms. Except for Sagara-san, who is still unfortunately inside the storage room as of the moment. We are still debating on letting him out or not, it was after all Aoshi-sama who locked him in and therefore, we have no plans in meddling with his business.
The Great Man also expresses his delight that you are clearly at the loosing end of your bet, although Okon and I greatly disagree with this.
Oh and if you have nothing else to do for tonight, I would be more than willing to personally report to you...
The report ended there. Hiko inspected the letter more closely; it looked as though a part of the paper had been clearly torn off. Hiko was disappointed. He was hoping that a blow-by-blow account of that confrontation would be reported. He was right in guessing that Okina's spies were not all adept and are nothing but incompetent fools. No surprise there, seeing that they were all trained by that abominable old fool who insisted that his code name be The Great Man. Hiko had argued with this, pointing out that should Okina use that code name, everyone else will think that Hiko was The Great Man, after all, he is the great man. But Okina was far too stubborn to be persuaded that he use the code name Monkey Breath instead.
Hiko let the letter flutter down and then just before it landed on the ground he quickly drew his sword and effortlessly created confetti from the report.
No report on the best part from the events of last night. Damn. Now all he could do was imagine the confrontation that had transpired.
THE ACTUAL CONFRONTATIONCountdown initiating: Five seconds to confrontation.
Four...
Megumi felt like she was going to strain a muscle for trying not to scream. She was sitting calmly in front of Misao and Kaoru. Megumi feared that if she opened her mouth, she just will never stop and oh, what an incredibly long rant she had in mind right now.
Three...
Kaoru was itching to get her hand on anything and throw it across the room and damn that Kenshin because he took nearly everything on the table that she could break into little pieces. She balled up her hands into tight fists. She tried to calm herself and opted for deep-claming breaths. The meditation that Aoshi had taught her didn't work... Dammit, all those hours of muscle cramps for nothing! A brandished bokken hitting Kenshin or Sano or Yahiko's head had always been helpful... Kaoru sighed shaking her head. If only...
Two...
Misao glared at the lack of pointy objects on the room. She wasn't actually sure what she'd do with it, but oh, how she'd like to have her kunais by her at this very second. Misao decided that there was absolutely no chance in hell that she'll be the one who'll start the shrieking match. After all, she had agreed to this whole plan to clearly point out that she was a mature young woman who could handle really immature plans. Misao frowned, it used to make sense then but now... well, anyway, she will remain as calm as Megumi and Kaoru and once someone started shrieking, she'll follow soon enough, because she really has so much to say.
One...
There was a dead silence in the air, which in a way was more deafening than the roaring voices of all three girls combined. They continued to stare at each other.
Jaws worked silently, eyebrows twitched, the room's air was starting to get really thick from the tension that Kaoru was sure she can actually use a knife, cut a part of it, wrap it in paper and hand it to Yahiko and say: Here, Yahiko, this is tension.
It was a battle of wills, of pride, of self control...
"I cannot believe...." Megumi began in what was beginning to sound like the Screech of Death. Needless to say she said it at the very same instant that Kaoru and Misao felt the sudden urge to speak as well.
"What are these?" Kaoru asked shrilly pointing at the vegetables right in front of her. She had no idea where that question came from although she knew for a fact that she had wanted to asked it the first time she saw the dinner food laid out on the table moments ago.
"Kaoru-chan, how could you?" Misao asked loudly, her voice heavily laded with anger and hurt.
The three girls started talking out loud but instantly shut up as soon as Megumi raised her hands. "We handle this like true educated modern women of Japan."
Misao and Kaoru nodded firmly.
"And for your information Tanuki, that is carrots minced and diced and er, probably diced some more." At this Megumi's face flushed for a second before she continued. "And if you're going to insult my cooking please do so after noting the fact that everyone else is still alive in this room after eating my dinner."
"I wasn't even going to insult... that's carrots? It looks like a grotesque..." Megumi shot her an evil look. Kaoru sighed. "Fine. Let's talk."
"Good because I have a lot to say right now." Misao declared crossing her arms.
"Yeah? Well me too, Weasel Girl." Megumi said narrowing her eyes at Misao.
"Perfect! I can ask you some things myself, although I'd like to question Kaoru first." Misao announced looking at Kaoru pointedly.
"Fine by me. So, how's your plan coming along Tanuki?" Megumi asked not even looking at Kaoru. She had eyes still glued at Misao who wasn't paying her any attention but was patiently waiting for Kaoru's reply.
Kaoru fought back the urge to roll her eyes. How was her plan coming along? Has Kenshin in any way showed some signs of jealousy? Was she anywhere near Kenshin's heart? Oh, she knew just how to describe her plan. With much difficulty, Kaoru managed to speak, "I am having such a resounding success, it's unbelievable. In fact I'm thinking of making my middle name Success. Kamiya Success Kaoru. How does that sound?" she said in an uncharacteristically sarcastic voice.
Misao raised her eyebrows and glared at her. She seemed to be on the verge of saying something but Megumi beat her to it.
"Congratulations. That sounded very promising." Megumi commented matching Kaoru's sarcasm. "I'm doing well myself. Having a constant mother figure in a pink gi is so much fun. I'm beginning to feel like I'm such an attractive TODLER!" she snarled the last part. Both Misao and Kaoru winced. Megumi turned to Misao, "And how about you little Ms. I'd-rather-kiss-the-ground-than-end-up-puckering-up-for-that-Punk!- Misao-chan, gotten lucky haven't you?"
"I did not pucker up for Sano!" Misao answered indignantly.
"Oh, silly me! I think I better get my eyes checked then!" Megumi answered back in a thoughtful tone of voice.
"You want to hear something fascinating? Its absolutely wonderfully fascinating watching Aoshi-sama drool over Kamiya-san!" Misao answered shrieking like she had never shrieked before. It felt... nice actually.
Kamiya-san?! Kaoru winced and wondered whatever happened to Kaoru-chan. "Drool? There was no drooling whatsoever! And if you really want to know..."
"I really don't want to know." Misao finished for her curtly. "In fact, I really don't want to find out how this week is going to end at all. I am ending it now and telling everyone that we had been wrongly playing tricks on them..."
"Oh, sure, go run to Aoshi-sama of yours. Tell her what a bad girl you've been, trying to seduce Sanosuke." Megumi replied in a calm voice, looking at the ends of her nails. Her hands however showed signs of trembling.
"Seduce!? Seduce Sano?! Have you gone mad?!" Misao asked aghast.
"Well apparently I have, because Kenshin just sucked on my finger a few hours ago and... " Megumi was about to say, 'it was absolutely sick' when Kaoru's voice rang out loud and clear.
"He sucked your finger! Kenshin?! Himura Kenshin? He SUCKED on your FINGER!" Kaoru sounded like she was on the verge of hysterical breakdown.
"Try not to die of heart attack Tanuki-chan." Megumi said in a dead sort of voice, flicking an imaginary lint on her kimono.
"Don't you Tanuki-chan me you crazy... crazy... Fox doctor you!" Kaoru retorted with an angry un-lady like snort.
"Why are you so mad about then Megumi? Isn't that what you said? You can make Kenshin go putty in your hand? Well done! Congratulations. Have a happy life!" Misao said from out of nowhere.
"Oh, of course. Why would I be mad? I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking. There's absolutely no reason for me to get mad when I just walked in on you and Sano under the tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G" Megumi shouted in her sing-song voice.
"We were not kissing!" Misao shouted over Megumi's song.
"Are you singing?" Kaoru asked a frown etched on face. "You can sing? I mean... you sound like Sano after two dozen jugs of Sake."
"You're in an insulting mood today Kaoru. Been hanging around Sano much? Aside from hanging out with Shinamori that is."
Misao's glare went from Megumi to Kaoru.
Kaoru rolled her eyes, "I have not been hanging around Sano. And as for Aoshi-sama... well, I have to, but that was because you told me so!" Kaoru exclaimed her fist waving in the air.
"Well I didn't tell Misao to go kiss Sano and she did, so why would you not try and have a piece of Sano's body too?!"
Kaoru wanted very much to say "Euw" but she was speechless with disbelief. It took her a moment to finally say something. "Try to have a piece of his what?" She was just incredulous now. Where did Megumi get that most-repulsive idea?
"For the last time Megumi, I. Did. Not. Kiss. Sano!" Misao argued once more defiantly ignoring the argument between Kaoru and Megumi. She felt like she needed to be part of this particular argument and just let everything all out.
"Well I'm not talking to you right now am I? And I really don't need explanations Misao." Megumi turned to look back at Kaoru who had her jaws hanging open. "That's right. His body. You want it. Misao want it. I'm even suspecting that Tae wants it too. And Kami, I won't be surprised if the whole Japan wants it! And, oh don't you deny it. Sano is built better than Kenshin and Aoshi. All those muscles. Can you just say 'yummy'?"
"How about, EUW! And excuse me while I retch." Misao angrily exclaimed from out of nowhere. Kaoru watched as the young oni made gagging motions. Megumi was completely oblivious.
"Oh please. I've seen you look at him." Megumi delicately rolled her eyes and was slowly shaking her head, as though she had made up her mind that Sano had become a sudden Nihon Sex God.
"Have you seen me punching the crap out of him too? Oh, right, I do it because he's so 'yummy'." Misao paused and banged her forehead on the table. "Ack, I can't believe I just said that. I need to really gag now." She muttered darkly, face hidden by the fall of her hair.
"He's sexy and you can't handle that!" Megumi said slamming her fist on the table and rattling the cups and plates.
Misao immediately forgot her sudden need to vomit. She raised her head and looked at Megumi in the eye. "He is not! Aoshi-sama still has the greatest, sexiest body ever! He's not skinny like Himura-san and he doesn't have baby fats like Sano!"
Megumi's mouth dropped in disbelief. "How dare you? Sano does not have any..." she stopped and swallowed hard as she seemed to have re-considered what she was about to say. Megumi continued tartly, "well, ok maybe he does have some baby fats but just a little and it makes him cute! But it's better than all bones and endless oros!" She threw the last comment at Kaoru whose blue eyes were almost bulging out of their sockets.
"Kenshin isn't skinny! And I think the 'oro' is quite endearing." She stamped her foot for emphasis.
"Of course. You and your taste in men!" Maegumi said flipping a lock of hair on her shoulder.
Kaoru was indignant. "I happen to like lanky men who can be a little short on the height, but that doesn't make Kenshin any less sexier than Sano or Aoshi! "
"You think Aoshi-sama is sexy? Since when?!" Misao practically screeched.
"Lanky? You mean thin and malnourished?" Megumi said arching her eyebrows.
"Oh and I'm sure you'll make Kenshin all 'hunky' by feeding him mutilated vegetables." Kaoru returned with equal venom.
"Mutilated?! Maybe you'd like to hear how those vegetables got mutilated in the first place."
She was ignored by both Misao and Kaoru who were exchanging very weird looks.
"Kenshin is not malnourished" Kaoru insisted, "And yes, Aoshi-sama is sexy, I'm sorry if you think that I am betraying our friendship just because I happen to think that Aoshi is sexy because he is sexy!" Kaoru finished puffing some air and blowing her bangs away from her forehead.
"You said it three times Kaoru-chan." Misao pointed out arching her eyebrows.
"So? And Kenshin isn't thin. He's sexy in his own way! And he's not malnourished! He has the sexiest chest I have ever seen in my entire life, next to Sano of course." Kaoru finished in an after thought.
"You'd been feeding him for the last few months, trust me, he's malnourished and excuse me, but did you just said that you've seen Sano's bare chest?" Megumi asked in an incredulous voice.
"Megumi, I hate to break it up to you, but half of Japan had seen his bare chest." Kaoru informed her in a much calmer voice.
"And I bet he'd get all the muscles he need as soon as you start feeding him mutilated vegetables!" Misao butted in.
"Why is everyone calling them mutilated?" Megumi asked angrily throwing up her hands in the air. She turned to look at Misao. "And if there's anyone to blame for those... those equally shaped and expertly minced vegetables that would be the Kissing Couple of the day."
"There had been no kissing or whatsoever! He tried to kiss me that was it!" Misao tried explaining once more in an exasperated voice. Megumi and Kaoru ignored her.
"Oh and Sano's just perfect, isn't he?" Kaoru returned flipping her hair, obviously making a mockery of Megumi who didn't seem to mind or notice at all.
"Why don't you go ask his girlfriend?" Magumi returned sweetly pointedly looking at Misao.
"I am NOT his girlfriend!" Misao shrieked. Her second shriek in less than two hours, but hey who's counting right?
"Oh well that makes it better doesn't it? You're trying to kiss him even if he isn't your boyfriend yet. How very loyal of you!" Megumi was clearly on a roll right now.
"First of all, I wasn't trying to kiss him and I would really appreciate it if you listen to me! Second of all, this was your idea so if it's starting to backfire on us, we only have you to blame!" Misao finally had her chance to throw up her hands in the air in a gesture of both annoyance and total limitless exasperation.
"Yeah, Misao's right. Just because the boys suddenly started acting weird and giving us all these attention for no apparent reason except maybe if they happen to start liking us back all at the same time, which is next to impossible. But I still don't see any reason why Kenshin would suddenly suck on your finger or why Sano would try and kiss Misao unless they also have the same ridiculous plan of trying to make us go crazy with jealousy and that is just..." Kaoru paused, blinking as though she finally heard her own voice. "That is just…that is just…" somehow she could not finish her sentence.
A single look passed between all of them and the tension in the air sizzled down to a bearable level.
"Suddenly?" Misao said in a low voice filled with palpable realization.
"Yes, well, Aoshi hasn't been in any way responsive in the last two days." Kaoru informed her with an encouraging smile. But when she remembered the look that Aoshi gave her while they were up on his secret place, her smile faded. What are the boys up to?
Megumi tilted her head. "That's true. Kenshin and I barely talked." Megumi nodded her head thoughtfully and gestured for Misao and Kaoru to come closer. "In fact, when I asked him for sex the other day, he had practically fainted dead on the streets."
Kaoru blinked for several minutes as this piece of information went right over her head. "I'm sorry," She said smiling slowly shaking her head in disbelief. "I think I misheard you. You asked him for what again? Would you care to repeat that, because I'm sure that I definitely misheard you?"
"Sex Tanuki. I asked him for sex." Megumi said impatiently rolling her eyes at her.
"Oh! Well then," Kaoru exclaimed clapping her hands in mock happiness, "that's just fantastic! You're mad at Misao because Sano almost kissed her, but it's ok for you to ask Kenshin for sex?!"
"I don't think that's the point Kaoru." Misao said scratching her head.
"Exactly, thank you Misao." Megumi said smiling at the girl.
"Point? What is the point of all these..." Kaoru paused and frowned "And what in Kami's name is that noise?" They all quieted down and stared at the ceiling of the room for a few seconds.
"I think it's Shiro up on the roof, trying to spy on us." Misao declared frowning as they listened to the creaking sounds the tiled roof above them was making.
"Again?" Megumi asked in an annoyed voice. "Geesh, what, had they started a betting pool on all of us?" she muttered darkly as they all huddled up right below the creaking sound.
"I wouldn't be too surprised about that." Misao whispered back. "Okina loves bets and spying." They all went suddenly quiet and still. So did the creaking sound.
"It's Shiro alright." Megumi announced crossing her arms. "He's spying on us." She heaved a deep sigh; "I thought Kenshin and I had gotten rid of him when we're cooking dinner..." she stopped as soon as she saw Kaoru gave her a weird look. She was about to say something when they were interrupted by the most god-awful sound of a man pretending to sound like a cat.
"Meeeeeoooooowwwwww...."
They looked at each other and snorted in disgust. "Right. It's a cat. Of course. How could we be so stupid?" Kaoru said out loud.
Without another word, taking the large knife hidden from her kimono, the very same knife that she had been using while preparing for dinner, Megumi threw it up with all her might and watched as it thunked loudly on the ceiling, its deadly pointed half buried up to the other end. "I hate cats." She said in her deadliest calmest voice ever.
"Itaaaaaaaa." There was a muffled sound heard as Shiro's body hit the ground.
Misao glared at Megumi. "You could've killed him."
"So go try and go kill your spy." Megumi said returning to her seat.
Misao pouted and sat down beside Megumi. "Omasu's more careful than that. I didn't even notice her before. Only this afternoon when she almost fell off from that tree when Sano tried to..." seeing the look on Megumi's eyes, Misao cut her sentence short. "Forget it."
"Okon got drenched in mud today." Kaoru paused, "I think Aoshi-sama did it on purpose, but we manage to loose her half way to Aoshi-sama's..." Kaoru paused as well, remembering Aoshi's secret place. Did Misao know about it? Looking at Misao's expectant blue eyes, Kaoru realized that Aoshi had never taken Misao there. Damn that stupid Iceberg trying to confuse her... wait... "Wait." Kaoru said suddenly pacing the room.
"What? What is it?" Misao asked eagerly.
"I just realized something." Kaoru said snapping her fingers.
"What, that Kenshin can be a total prude in one day and start sucking on my fingers the next?" Megumi said arching her eyebrow.
"Yes! Exactly!" Kaoru announced flopping down beside them, her blue eyes glittering.
Misao and Megumi exchanged solemn looks. "See what you've done to her." Misao said giving Megumi an accusing look.
"Me? It's Kenshin who's totally acting weird and playing stupid mind games. First, all those talks about Kaoru-dono: Kaoru-dono this, Kaoru-dono that, Kaoru-dono looks like the sky, Kaoru-dono smells like the flowers, Kaoru-dono reminds me of silver stars and everything that's wretchedly nice and then all of sudden BAM! Megumi are you ok? Megumi do you want me to take care of you? Megumi you're so unbelievably beautiful and intelligent, Megumi if you have a diaper, tell me, I'll change it for you." Megumi mimicked Kenshin rolling her eyes and was unaware that neither Misao nor Kaoru were paying her any attention. "And of course, there's Sano suddenly ignoring me. Me! Ignoring me! I didn't even know he was capable of that and then there's Aoshi who gets thawed overnight… it's like some damned conspiracy and…" Megumi straightened up her back. "Well I'll be damned." She muttered darkly.
Misao went on consoling Kaoru who was busy biting away her lower lip, "Kaoru-chan, trust me, if Kenshin almost fell dead as soon as Megumi asked him for ugh... you know what... it's definitely a good sign. He'd rather die than do it with, er, um, Megumi-san." She glanced at Megumi with an apologetic smile, "No offense meant, you know how it is with Himura."
"Do I ever." Megumi said nodding as though a sudden understanding had dawned upon her. She stood up and began pacing the room. "And don't ask me anything about Ken-san, I'm having a moment here..."
Misao raised her eyebrow and ignored Megumi who seemed dead set on burning a trail on their floor. "Don't be upset Kaoru-chan." She continued patting Kaoru's arm when the girl didn't so much as acknowledged their presence. Misao sighed, "Look I'm sorry if I got mad at you about Aoshi-sama. We're all in these together and I'm not blaming anyone. We agreed to this and now we deal with it, right?" No response. Misao continued on. "And besides, hadn't you told me that it's only today that Aoshi-sama actually paid you any attention? I mean I have no right to get mad. And Megumi shouldn't be mad with me too! Sano hasn't been paying me any attention at all and was really being a pain in the ass until today when he started acting really sweet and attentive and..." Misao frowned. "Wait a minute," she said standing up as well. "What's going on here?" she asked looking at Megumi and Kaoru.
The two girls raised their eyebrows at her.
And it hit Misao like a ton of bricks. Everything that had happened from day one to today went coming back to her. Misao's jaw dropped. She could not believe it. How could she have missed this? Now she understood why people describe a moment of realization as being suddenly doused in cold ice water, taking you by surprise and making you want to smack your self silly for not realizing it before. "They... they... they knew all along?"
Ah. Moment of Enlightenment. Epiphany and heavenly music…
All girls after all are smart and to be really honest, well, most of the times they are smarter than most boys are. It's the rule of nature and the will of the Gods. It's the most basic principle of the world that needed no explanation or whatsoever. Just think of this, only young boys would express their love by pulling on girls' pig tails and only men have a body part that has a mind of it's own... but then that would be for another kind of story.
"I think they got back at us for trying to... manipulate their feelings." Kaoru said frowning.
"How dare they... I am going to kill them!" Megumi announced, glancing at Misao and Kaoru, "If you consent murder that is."
"KILL THEM!" Kaoru and Misao chorused enthusiastically.
Girls are also emotional to a fault. But hey, you can't have the cake, eat it and still have all the extra sweets too right?
"They found out about the plan and decided to retaliate." Misao said in a flat voice.
Megumi stared longingly at the knife on the ceiling. "They're supposed to have this confrontation. The: keep your slimy hands away from my Megumi! But no... here we are exhausting ourselves while they're out there somewhere laughing at us!"
"Bastards." Misao concluded.
"I cannot believe... and Kenshin went with this?!" Kaoru was still amazed by the fact that Kenshin had sucked Megumi's finger. She was still stuck on that specific mental image.
"Aoshi did too." Misao pointed out.
"But Aoshi didn't suck on my finger." Kaoru informed her with a flippant wave of her hand.
Misao visibly paled. "Kaoru, did your really had to say that? Now I can't help having mental images of him sucking on your fingers!"
"Oh, cut it out Kaoru! I think Ken-san actually had fun turning all Psychotic Mother Goose on me. I think he was trying to punish for all those times that I dragged him to the park and then at the market where I asked him for sex and where his deranged egotistic shishou happened to be."
Kaoru shot Megumi a dangerous look, which Megumi scoffed at, shrugging her shoulders innocently.
"Sano's been messing up with my head! That lecherous bastard! I look pretty in a pink kimono, don't I? Let's see how pretty he'll look with that headband of his tied on his neck pretty tightly too!"
"And Aoshi actually had the nerve to ask me all those stories about you and then he goes on to be really sweet and open and all along he had been pretending..."
"Sly. I'm sort of impressed by this turn of events." Megumi commented sounding a little impressed. "I wonder who thought of the plan."
"Hands down, that would be Sano. Only he can think like you do. And only you would be impressed by this sort of thing."
"Thank you Weasel! I'll take that as a nice compliment and as an apology as well for trying to kiss Sano. And if they think that we're going to act as they have mistakenly guessed that we will, well they are in for a major disappointment."
"Ugh, we already sort of did act as they probably guessed that we will." Misao reminded her.
"Misao." Megumi said giving her a pointed look. "No point in acknowledging it you know."
"Oh. Ok." Misao said trying to decide if all rationality had left Megumi in her pursuit of Sanosuke.
"They want a fight, we'll give them a war..." Megumi declared.
"Uh-oh." Kaoru muttered. "Why does that sound like a really, really bad premonition of worse things to come?"
"What are we going to do?" Misao asked looking at Megumi and then back at Kaoru. "We can just let them get away with this."
"We will bring them down on their knees!" Megumi announced with dramatic flourish. She seemed to be the only one enjoying their moment of sudden realization. A clear indication of how very twistedly complicated Megumi's personality was.
"I don't want to ask how." Kaoru muttered. "Misao, please don't ask how."
Misao nodded obediently.
Megumi paid them no attention. "We will ignore this little discovery of ours and pretend that we know nothing about it." Megumi announced in a dead serious voice.
Misao and Kaoru patiently waited for a moment for her to say: "Nah, I'm just kidding" or "Ha! Got you there." But it didn't come.
"Oh, that's really helpful." Kaoru finally said, brandishing yet again her newfound expertise in sarcasm.
"I thought you said we were going to murder them?" Misao asked sounding disappointed.
"Trust me, it's the perfect way to get back at them. They'll go knocking up on our door and begging for our love once more."
"Er, that sounded like a bad line from an even worse song." Misao commented inanely.
"Hmmm, I think I've heard that before and look where we are now." Kaoru said in a resigned voice.
"Too much trouble to go through and we're back from where we started." Misao pouted in agreement.
"Oh no we're not. We're exactly where we want to be." Megumi was beginning to get excited by this new prospect of another scheme.
"We are?" Misao just couldn't see that. "Where are we exactly?"
"In the right position to hold their egos." Megumi answered without blinking. "We're going to guilt-trip them into apologizing to us. And finally telling us how they really feel."
"Ok, I know this is probably the most dangerous question to ask right now, but, how do we do that?" Misao said mentally smacking herself for not being able to shut up and hold her tongue.
"Misao!" Kaoru exclaimed aghast.
Megumi smiled evilly. "We need one last cunning plan"
"I knew that was coming! I shouldn't have asked." Misao said and this time physically smacking herself.
"Oh no. Not again." Kaoru groaned out loud.
"Trust me one this one. We've only got three more days left right?"
The girls nodded.
"Scratch that. We only got one more and then... bam! The happily ever after that we all want!"
Misao and Kaoru were left speechless for a moment and then Kaoru muttered, "There's just no end to this nightmare, is there?"
"Oh no, there is an end Kaoru. And it's coming. It's coming alright."
And Misao and Kaoru both agreed that at that very moment, Megumi would make a crybaby out of the fiercest assassins, gangsters, warriors, soldiers and even the fiercest monsters with that look and that smile and that diabolically deranged brains of her. They wordlessly agreed to at least listen to this latest, newest and hopefully last brilliant plan of Megumi's Scheming Career.
The end is near…
They couldn't help but shudder at those words.
End Note: Ok, that's Chapter 15. Flames anyone? Because I hate this chapter. I dunno why. I just do. Oh, well, this fic is coming to its end thank Kami. This is the Endless Circle Fic that does not go anywhere at all. Just the tiresome scheming… pretty mucked up, wouldn't you say? This isn't what I originally planned for this fic, it just came out this way and oh, I don't know, I'm in a weird mood, I'll try to redeem myself in the last chapters to come. Reviews please! Thanks so much!