Mismatched
Yuki
Chapter 15B - Confrontation 101
Author's Note: Ooops! Did I say Chapter 16? Sorry. Hehe.. I forgot about the boys' version of the Confrontation. Not as stellar as the girls'. Hardly. Kind of lame actually and filled with the usual insults and threats thrown ever now and then. The boys engage themselves in a really weird conversation... with Sano and Aoshi speaking in Spanish - it's just two words and not even a phrase...
Wait, Spanish?!
Yes, you've read it right. It has nothing to do with the story but a result of lack of sleep and too much coffee.
It's safe to say that if I get flamed for this, I would truly understand. Anyway, everything will be resolved (was there even a conflict in this story? Or even a PLOT to begin with?!) in the last 5 chapters... and oh! An epilogue too! So all in all, that would be 6 more chapters and then I'll be posting the long-forgotten chapters for Rabukome, as I have promised. And after that, "Night Out" and maybe a few CCS fics at the side... and oh! Any Harry Potter fans out here? I've got one fic I'll be posting soon. As soon as I finally get the courage to do so... which could be translated to probably never. LOL...
Long author's note... Gah! Sorry about that.
And as always many thanks too to everyone who have reviewed. I appreciate it! Now, on to the fic! Enjoy, hope you like it and please feel free to tell me what you think.
Mismatched
Chapter 15B - Confrontation 101
The girls had not been able to come up with a plan that they could all agree upon thus they all went their separate ways last night with heavy hearts and sore throats (from all the shouting and screeching).
And as if the heavens had read and felt and sympathized with the tormented hearts staying at Kyoto, it started raining last night. Strong winds that howled in the dark and torrents of rain that angrily pelted the cobbled streets and the tiled roofs. The whole of Kyoto was suddenly enveloped by this unusual silence inside and out. There were no chirping of the crickets and singing of the frogs. Just the incessant sounds of rain dancing on every surface imaginable.
The silence had been heavier inside the lonely darkened house (even the snoring of Sanosuke cannot be heard as he was still stuck inside the storage room) six persons had lain awake all night pondering on the mysteries of their own hearts. They strained to hear in the dark whatever it was that their hearts were saying: what (or who) it wanted, what (or who) it desired the most.
They tried to solve this unending mystery of why love can be so annoyingly confusing sometimes. They tried to listen to names and reasons but all they could hear were jumbled words and quick flashes of pain that they try to dismiss and ignore.
The rain did nothing to help them sleep; it only made them colder and lonelier. There were no nightly visits from anyone and their doors remained firmly closed. All the scheming had resulted in reinforced walls that they had built around them. Imagined fears blossomed in their hearts and branched out into uncertainties - nameless doubts and sparks of possibilities.
The night had been sorrowful, more so when daybreak finally came. What seemed like the biggest storm of the year from last night receded into a light drizzle. The cool air drifted inside and found its way to their respective rooms. All six of them buried their faces in their pillows, not wanting to get up and face the day ahead of them.
For the first time this week, nobody had a plan.
Three hours after Hiko received the report from last night's dinner, the men had finally dragged themselves out of their beds and somehow ended up in one room, quietly sipping their teas.
AOSHIHe had skipped his daily meditation by the temple and even though this was considered a major event in the household, nobody seemed to care. Well, good. At least no one was mocking him. Of course there was the whole stupid spying plans of Okina, but that would be another issue that he planned on resolving today.
First, Sano had been let out by Omasu under his order and amazingly, according to Omasu the Chicken Brained Punk had no idea that he had been locked up there in the first place. In fact when Omasu had opened the door, Sagara had refused to come out until Omasu had promised that, "Aoshi-sama is not in a murderous mood."
Of course a lie. Aoshi was still very much itching to get his hands around Sano's throat. Sano, the lucky bastard, had been given a second shot at life as he had decided that attacking Battousai's current best friend wasn't really such a great idea at the moment. Especially since Battousai had been giving him that feral glare from last night.
Apparently, the so-called gentle rurouni hadn't been able to get over the fact that Kamiya-san had decided to sit with him last night during dinner. Not that Aoshi could blame Kaoru for her choice. It had seemed as though Takani-san had permanently entangled herself around Battousai. Plus the fact that Himura didn't seem to mind at all that he had a fully-grown woman attached to him the whole dinnertime was a clear indication that Kamiya-san would certainly not seat beside Battousai.
Aoshi wasn't really too keen on rehashing the events form last night. The cup-throwing incident was something he'd like to put behind him. That would probably the first and last time he had acted in such a juvenile manner and beside, it had been Sagara who had first initiated the attack. How else was he supposed to react when the insufferable rooster head had laid his hand on Misao's thigh! Sagara deserved a lot more than a large bump in the head and being locked up inside that damn storage house.
Aoshi sighed and took a long sip of his tea, trying to calm the angry beating of his heart. No sense in losing what was left little of his control. He had decided that he would no longer listen to Battousai and Sagara. They obviously have all the best ideas on how to ruin their lives. Well, he wasn't going to go along with anymore of their stupid plans. They have further complicated what was already a convoluted situation between him and Misao.
And now between him and Kaoru as well.
What complicatedly tangle of web they have weaved.
KENSHINKenshin, sitting a good few feet away from Sano and Aoshi was staring blankly at his tea and occasionally glancing around the room. The tension surrounding them wasn't as suffocating as last night's but if Sano or Aoshi finally decide to make a first move, Kenshin was trying to make up his mind whether or not he'll play the role of the unofficial referee.
At this moment, to be honest, he'd rather enjoy seeing Sano give Aoshi a few of his famous punches, hopefully right smack on Aoshi's face. He tried to hide his glare as he watched Shinamori sip his tea. Aoshi looked a little too smug today and Kenshin couldn't help but wonder if this had something to do with the fact that Mr. Cool As Ice and his Kaoru had been getting along fairly well. From what he heard from Okon and Omasu, Aoshi had taken Kaoru to some very secluded spot yesterday.
Kenshin waned to know where exactly, but apparently Omasu had not been able to follow them as she had been stuck at a mud hole. The only thing that Omasu can tell him was that Aoshi and Kaoru went back to the temple around the early afternoon where they stayed there until it was time for dinner. And what a bloody dinner it had been. Considering that Megumi had pinched him in the face for more than a hundred times - he lost count - for apparently being too damn cute.
Well, it too damned hurt like hell as well and Kenshin had been very afraid that blood would start leaking out from his own cheeks if Megumi pinched him one more time. He had decided right there and then that he hated the word "cute" with passion and if Megumi ever come near him again with the word "cute" on her lips, Kenshin would rather leap to his own death than be pinched again.
But what he really wanted to know was where Aoshi and Kaoru had been and what sort of activity they were engaged in once inside the temple. He wanted to believe that they had been innocently meditating, but that sounded ridiculous. Especially after seeing them last night – it seemed as though Shinamori and Kaoru had bonded over something the other night and they had sat especially close to each other the whole dinnertime and there had been several instances when he caught sight of Aoshi's hand brushing against Kaoru's!
Kenshin pursed his lips and thought that if he burned the damned temple down it would just be too obvious that he was getting slightly affected by the amount of time Aoshi and Kaoru had been spending there together - alone. Plus, it would be a blatant act of blasphemy. So he canceled that as the top activity for the day.
Of course, he and Megumi had been cooped up inside the kitchen yesterday, but still, it was different. Loads of people walk in on them every five minutes, it wasn't like they were totally separated from the rest of the world. Kenshin frowned and glanced at Sano. He hoped Sano wasn't getting any wrong ideas about him and Megumi. The only thing that Kenshin was actually guilty of was sucking Megumi's finger and he doubt Sano would be too happy to hear about it right now.
Kenshin took a deep breath and sighed deeply, of all the stupid things that he had ever done in the history of his sorry sordid life, this just takes the grand prize of being the most. The most stupid, the most ridiculous, the most... and oh, the list just goes on and on. He went back to staring at his tea, as though it held the answer to his question: Would Kaoru still take him back?
The green tea offered no consistent answer.
SANO
Sano was also busily examining his own cup. For the life of him, he didn't know why he was drinking tea. But he took another tentative sip and winced at its taste. Blech. How could anyone stand this? He could use some really good sake right about now. What a stupid rule to have: no alcohol during mornings. He wondered if there had been any debate between Aoshi and Okina regarding that rule. He looked around the room and sighed. Where were the girls? Were they all mad at him? This plan seemed a lot funnier inside his head, but now, sitting with two statues in front of him, Sano was beginning to have doubts.
"Oi." He began casually, "Has anyone of you seen..." Aoshi instantly glared at him, "Okon or Omasu?" He finished lamely.
"Going to kiss them too?" Aoshi muttered darkly.
"What? Heck no... I was just... look Shinamori, I didn't kiss Misao ok?" Sano said trying to sound sure and calm. After all he was telling the truth.
"You tried to." Aoshi said calmly sipping his tea and looking at him with cold blue eyes.
"Well, say theoretically, I did, isn't that part of the plan?" Sano asked trying to decide on the best way to deflect the cup if and when Aoshi finally throw it at him.
"I plan on hanging your tonsils across the gate as decorations." Aoshi stated in all seriousness.
"Wow. Very vivid. Not to mention vicious." Sano answered back nodding his head. "I'd say I'm starting to get impressed by your comebacks. A lot better than the usual one word insults."
"Sano..." Kenshin began in a warning voice.
"It's ok, Kenshin. I can handle this." Sano said returning Aoshi's glare. He had politely started up a conversation and what did he get? Gruesome threats. Well if Aoshi wanted a war, he'll give him one. He hasn't backed down on any fight - verbal or physical. Although right now, he really wasn't in the mood for any physical or verbal abuse.
"Can you?" Shinamori asked slightly arching his eyebrows.
"Of course I can Shinamori. But if you think I'm going to be an immature brat about this and throw a really good come back to that, you're sadly mistaken." Sano paused and sipped his tea and winced internally. He needed sake... as soon as possible. But back to the matter at hand, "I've been doing a lot of thinking lately and I admit that it was wrong of you to support me in my plan and thus making us all miserable right now."
"What?" Aoshi asked frowning at him as though he had lost his mind.
Sano rolled his eyes. "Do I have to explain everything?"
"I think you should Sano." Kenshin said giving him a worried look.
Sano couldn't help but sigh. "You know how I get really brilliant ideas in my head, but sometimes, the situation is just too mucked up that even the most well-thought of plans don't go well."
Kenshin and Aoshi looked at him blankly.
Sano tried once again. "What I mean was, if the two of you hadn't agreed on my plan, then we wouldn't be having any problems right now."
Kenshin and Aoshi blinked at him.
Not much of a reaction, but a lot better than staring at him with blank expressions on their faces.
Sano watched as Aoshi turned to look at Kenshin with disdain, "This is the sort of friend that you hang out with Battousai?"
"Er, he has better days." Kenshin replied, trying his very best to remain loyal. It was, at this moment, particularly very challenging. "Ugh, Sano, I really don't think blaming anyone right now is going to help us." Kenshin added carefully.
Sano tried his very best not to roll his eyes. "I'm not just blaming anyone." He said absolutely disgusted by the lack of comprehension skills that Kenshin and Shinamori were displaying. "I'm blaming the two of you." He shook his head again and missed seeing the almost murderous look in Kenshin's face. "Anyway, I was thinking that maybe we ought to give this plan a break for a couple of days and just let everything mellow out for a while. You know? And then we can start planning for the remaining days. Maybe we could er, switch girls and I could try dating Kaoru instead."
Kenshin growled, murderous look and all.
Sano immediately corrected himself. "It was just a suggestion and clearly a very bad one. Next topic please."
"I have had enough of these stupid plans. If you want to engage in this sort of mindless activity, go and have endless scheming sessions with Takani-san."
"Mindless? I have put a lot of thought in this plan! And I have several more up my sleeves!"
Both Aoshi and Kenshin promptly stood up, looking worried, aghast and incredulous all at the same time.
"Wait, wait! Where are you two going?" Sano stood up as well effectively placing himself in front of the door. "You're not leaving until we have this all figured out."
"I don't know about Battousai here, but I'm going to end this stupid plan of yours." Aoshi declared in his most pompous voice.
"I plan on doing the same thing, Sano." Kenshin answered a bit calmly than Aoshi.
"What? We can't give up! We can't let those girls win!" He was furious. "How could you just give up on our plan?"
"Look Sano, you have the best intention in mind but this isn't the right way to solve your problem with Megumi. Nor is it going to solve my problem with Kaoru. We have to stop treating this like a game. It isn't."
"But Kenshin..."
"I'm talking to Kamiya-san." Aoshi announced all of a sudden.
Kenshin whipped his head towards him, "Don't you mean Misao?" he asked in a low dangerous voice.
"No. I meant Kaoru." Aoshi said stressing Kaoru's name.
"I think he means Misao, Kenshin. You know Aoshi. He's just a little who-hoo today." Sano tried explaining, adding elaborate hand signals and twirling of his finger around his temple. He gave Kenshin a nervous chuckle. "He missed his Zen Meditation Something Something, he's a little out of it." Sano glared at Aoshi. "Tell him you mean Misao. Please tell him you mean Misao."
"I'm fine Sagara, I know what I'm saying. And I'll repeat it again, I'm going to talk to Kaoru."
Clearly the guy has some serious death wish issue. Even before Sano can voice this out, Aoshi had turned to look at him, his blue eyes flashing, "And you," Aoshi said this as he stabbed a finger in the air, "you should go talk to Misao right now as Battousai should also talk to Takani-san."
"Who died and made you our Master? And what have you been drinking Aoshi?!" Sano deftly grabbed Aoshi's empty cup and turned it upside down, examining it closely and sniffing it's content. "Is this spiked? Did Jou-chan prepared this? Are you insane?"
"He's right." Kenshin answered quietly. Both Sano and Aoshi turned to look at him. "I'm going to talk to Megumi-dono, it's time I tell her the truth."
Sano was beyond disbelief. "What? Kenshin! I know we're all drinking the same tea here, but this is just..." He suddenly realized what Kenshin had said. He paused and calmly brought the cup down. He looked at his friend straight in the eyes, his voice suddenly becoming dangerously low. "What truth? And why do you want to talk to Megumi instead of Jou-chan?"
Downhill. Everything was going downhill right now. Sano looked at Kenshin, "Explain."
KENSHIN"I think he meant now, Battousai." Aoshi said looking at him with half interest. Obviously wondering what he has to say for himself. And probably because a whole minute has passed and he had yet to start speaking or explaining as Sano had ordered him to.
Kenshin cringed. "Sano, it's only right that I..." Kenshin began, not really sure how to explain to Sano the importance of trying to fix this mess the right way and not just through their endless scheming but with honesty and sincerity and a brave heart.
Actually, all you needed was Sake. Remember your first night here? This would never have happened if you weren't such a virtuous freak!
Kenshin ignored his Evil-Voiced Self and went on with his monologue. "If anything the schemes had been the root of our problems. If we had been honest from the beginning, we wouldn't be in this predicament right now."
What did I say? VIRTUOUS FREAK! And of course, you just had to realize this when said predicament is now on the verge of blowing up on your faces. Ha. Ha. Serves you right! I hope Kaoru runs of with Aoshi!
Kenshin started choking and glaring at Aoshi at the same time. The Iceberg cast him a weird glance and raised his eyebrow at him. No! Take that back! How could you say that?! Do you want us to go insane?
You are insane! You're having a mental conversation right now. And quick, Sano's saying something.
Kenshin forced his attention back to Sano.
"What exactly happen between the two of you in that kitchen?" Sano asked crossing his arms and advancing towards Kenshin. His brown eyes seemed darker than usual. "And I want to know the truth."
"Nothing... I just... we cook dinner and… and..." Kenshin paused. Should he tell Sano? It would be a lot better if it came from him. Megumi-dono always had a dangerous way of telling something and making it seem like a completely different thing from what really happened. Kenshin swallowed hard, "I sort of... er, um, sort of..."
Tell him you sort of tried to bribe Megumi into putting poison on the food last night. Tell him you accidentally looked down and saw Megumi's cleavage. Tell him that you think Megumi cooking dinner was a total kink-turn on!
Shut up! Honesty is the best policy. Honesty is the best policy...
Really? If you start living by that principle, you might as well tell Kaoru about Tomoe. Or that you love her. Or that you'd really want to know how her neck tastes like...
And I will! Today! I will! I will tell her! I will tell her everything!
That shut the voice up! Ha! Sucess!
"You sort of what? Speak up Himura!" Sano roared.
Kenshin snapped back to attention, opened his mouth and told Sano the complete, un-edited version of the truth. "I sort of... sucked her finger..."
Why the word suck, Kenshin you idiot! Why not licked or kissed? Why suck?
Somewhere, Kenshin can register the fact that Aoshi was chuckling, he just couldn't turn his head and watch Aoshi actually showing some signs of happiness. He was riveted to the look of horror etched on Sano's face.
There goes your friendship with Sano.
He was starting to get a headache. Why won't you shut up? He moaned mentally. He cringed as the look of horror was replaced by disbelief and then hurt. Kenshin opened his mouth, about to add an apology followed by a very long winded explanation when his voice decided to crack at that same moment. He was inevitably forced to clear his throat giving Aoshi the opportunity to snort loudly and Sano to speak out loud.
Or shriek as the case may be.
"You sort of sucked?" Sano asked his eyes getting that wild glimmer, "Would you care to expound on that?" Kenshin opened his mouth again but Sano quickly cut him off, "No actually I don't want to hear any lurid details!"
"Lurid! Sano it's not what you think." Kenshin complained shooting Aoshi another angry glare as the annoying Zen Master snorted loudly. "And what is so damn funny, Shinamori?"
"You sucked Takani-san's finger." Aoshi offered as an explanation, his voice impossibly calm.
"Ha. Ha. Ha. Yeah, that's really funny Shinamori. Oh! Ow! My sides are hurting. I can't stop laughing my ass off!" Sano angrily shrieked once more.
"I'm so glad that you are finding this so damn amusing Aoshi." Kenshin muttered darkly. The Iceberg, as expected merely raised his eyebrows at him, smirking at his obvious blunder of telling Sano the truth. Kenshin faced Sano. "Look, if you can just calm down I can explain."
"Oh I am calm." Sano said, his whole body visibly trembling with suppressed rage.
"You epitomize calmness, Sagara." Aoshi said his lips upturned into another smirk.
Punch him Sano! Or I would...
"Kindly shut up Aoshi. Now is not the time to hone your annoying skills." Kenshi warned him. He was not really in the mood to be polite right now; he didn't care if he had just told Aoshi to shut up. He was more concerned about Sano, who's jealous out bursts he was already familiar with. He returned his attention back to Sano. "It was part of the plan Sano and I'm sorry I did it, it just seemed like a good...uhm, way of giving Megumi some attention."
"If she needed attention Kenshin, I think calling her a Bitchy Fox would do just that." Sano said pouting a little.
"Right. I'm sure every girl would just love to hear that." Aoshi commented.
Kenshin just couldn't help it, he felt as though he had reached his limit. This had been such a long ridiculous week and with a mix of much regret and enthusiasm he turned to look at Aoshi straight in the eyes, clenched his fists and with all his might... and mentally thawped Aoshi in the head with an imaginary bokken.
Battousai and the rest of his annoying voices cheered loudly in the background.
This is getting seriously disturbing.
AOSHI
Aoshi watched as Battousai let out a satisfied smirk followed quickly by a frown. Isn't it clear who between them was mentally unbalanced? Shaking his head, he turned his attention to Sano who was looking at him with a malicious glare.
"How about you Shinamori, wanna hear about the success of my plan? See if you can find the humor in it?"
He glared at Sano. His coldest, iciest glare.
"Or maybe, you can tell Kenshin here what you have been up to? What do you say we start at your little trips by the temple? Meditating much?"
"I believe that's between me and Kaoru. It's private. And I do not kiss and tell."
The twin startled look that passed on the faces of Battousai and Sagara was actually pretty funny. Aoshi had to restrain himself from smiling.
"What's that supposed to mean, Shinamori?" Kenshin asked looking like the same shade of red as the gi that he was wearing. Aoshi thought this was an even better way of getting back at Himura for telling him to shut-up earlier. The rurouni looked like he was going to have a heart attack.
"Kiss and tell?! You kissed Jou-chan?!" Sagara looked a tad better than Battousai. Only a little green on the edges. "You bastard! Can you believe this guy?" Sano asked turning to look at Kenshin for approval. Battousai nodded enthusiastically.
And now look at them team up when just earlier Sano was about an inch close to yanking Battousai's tonsils from out his throat. Aoshi wondered if both Kenshin and Sano would be protective of Misao the same way that they were overly protective of Kamiya-san. He hoped not.
"I don't have to answer any of your questions." He answered stubbornly, knowing fully well what sort of reaction this statement would get. Well, he didn't care. He had no reasons to answer these two lunatics. Whatever it was that was going on between him and Kamiya-san, whether it was companionship, friendship or more than that wasn't their business.
"Talk Aoshi. I want to hear where you took Kaoru yesterday."
Himura sounded positively angry. Aoshi smirked, "Oh, have you been spying on us too?" he asked, deftly avoiding the question. He had lain awake all night and he had figured everything out, he wasn't going to let Himura's possible reactions, including the fact that he might suddenly turn into Battousai and ran amuck around town, sway him from whatever that he had decided on.
Aoshi knew that Kenshin have absolutely no idea about what his relationship with Kamiya-san was all about. It was the same thing for him when it comes to Sano and Misao's... Aoshi couldn't bring himself to think of Sano, Misao and the concept of relationship between them, regardless, whatever it was between Sano and Misao, relationship or not, he was silently agonizing about it too.
Battousai knew about them going to some secret place, but have no idea what he and Kaoru have talked about. He might know about Sano's attempted kiss, but he was not aware of how Misao felt about it. The same thing goes for the annoying Punk. Sagara might know of the sucking incident, but not the reason behind it.
It was these missing pieces of information that bothered them all. And to be honest, he could actually understand Kenshin and Sano's reaction.
"You've been acting quite strangely Aoshi, ever since Jou-chan brought you lunch at the Aoiya." Sano said, crossing his arms across his chest and interrupting Aoshi's thoughts. It seemed to Aoshi that Sano would do everything in his power to prevent Kamiya-san from being with another man, except for Himura. And perhaps this sort of loyalty was something that he actually, well not admired... ok fine, it was something that he admired Sano for.
"Can't a man be surprised?" Of course, no sense in making it known to the bigheaded fool.
"Not you." Kenshin cut in a cold tone that could actually come at par with his own ice-encrusted voice.
Aoshi looked at Battousai and raised his eyebrow, "Oh and you've been acting yourself lately haven't you? Sucking on Takani's finger. What's the matter Battousai, missed the taste of blood?" He knew that went a little too far when Kenshin's face suddenly paled. Aoshi didn't know how to take it back and he felt sort of worried at how Kamiya-san would scream at him once she found out about this particularly nasty comment. No one can match the sense of protectiveness that Battousai and Kamiya-san had for each other. It was something that he envied. He wished he could be so openly protective of Misao.
"Ok. Sorry to interrupt. I know this is so fascinating and all, finally seeing the Annoying Side of Aoshi, but can we refrain from talking about the Sucking Incident? And speaking of acting weird..." Sano whispered, jerking his head to the side. "I think Omasu's trying to listen to our conversation and is that Okon taking down notes?"
"Of course." Aoshi muttered, "One has to take down notes..." He glanced at the two girl huddled by the corner, pretending to be cleaning the room. They had been inside that room ever since they served them the tea. Aoshi thought that the next room, which was Okina's, was now on it's cleanest state ever. Perhaps it had even disinfected the old man's perverseness. One can only hope...
"Notes for what? A new recipe?" Sano asked in confusion.
Aoshi shot Sano a glare. "Don't be stupid Sagara!"
Himura had a better way of expressing his frustrations. "Haven't you ever wondered what Omasu and Okon were doing the whole week following us around?"
"I noticed that. I thought she just found me cute."
"No. That's not it." Aoshi said trying hard not to actually laugh at Sano's concept that he was cute. When Misao was younger, she had seen an incredibly bloated black piglet and had called it "cute" complete with the mad squealing sounds that an over excited child would make.
Aoshi suddenly wondered how a grown up Misao would sound when overly excited...
Must not have a nose bleed... must not have a nosebleed... Aoshi pinched the bridge of his nose and pretended that he was having some difficulty trying to understand Sagara's crazy ramblings.
"It's not? Are you sure? Because I've handled stalkers before. You know girls who'd follow me around..."
"But Tae-dono is the only one who did stalked you Sano, remember? You even wanted to report her to Saitou. And she had been following you because you haven't paid your bills at the Akabeko for more than 8 months." Kenshin said giving Sano a puzzled look.
Whatever it was that Battousai had said apparently didn't even reached Sagara's eardrums. Aoshi wasn't in the least bit surprised. Sagara loved hearing his own voice. In fact, Aoshi was under the impression that Sagara loved it a little too much. Maybe a ripped tonsil would actually be some sort of service to mankind in general.
"And I'm ok with that. It's just that Omasu is starting to creep me out a little. Remember how she used to obsess about your stupid shishou? I definitely don't want that. And come to think of it, Shiro had been hanging in the shadows way too often." Sano waggled his eyebrow at that and Aoshi couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Care to explain the weird behaviors of your friends, Aoshi?"
"Okina." He answered with a heavy sigh.
"And Hiko." Kenshin promptly added.
"Oh, ok. Okina and Hiko. Those old fools! That explains it. Clearly. So clear I might get blinded by the sudden insight that you two have graciously provided me with."
There was no reaction from him and Battousai. He didn't know how to react to that particular statement. So naturally, Sagara probably felt compelled to continue.
"You know, you two suck at explaining things! I mean really. Seriously. Vague doesn't even begin to describe how you guys do it."
"I believe there's a bet going around this house, Sagara." Aoshi informed him.
"Is there? And the bet is?" Sano perked up at this, not surprisingly, since Sagara and gambling do come hand in hand, always together. You can't mention gambling without Sano's name.
"That Misao's going to end up killing you in three days time, max." Kenshin mumbled.
"Three days!" Sano sounded incredibly indignant. "Give me a little credit! Five sure, but three, that's crap man!"
Aoshi paused for a while and decided that Sagara was a lost cause. He had no intention of being stuck in a conversation as ridiculous as this. "This is going nowhere." He announced in an exasperated voice. "This is where we end the plan."
Sano was quick to argue with him. "But we haven't..."
"I have my answers now and I'm going to discuss it with Kaoru." This what he had planned doing today and not having tea with these clowns.
"You mean Misao." Kenshin corrected him again.
Aoshi was really getting irritated with this. "No. Do I have to keep repeating myself?"
"Yes. You have to, until you get their names straight. Follow me, Aoshi, I will lead you to enlightenment: Weasel girl, long hair in a braid, that's Misao. Tanuki girl, defender of the bokken-less, that's Jou-chan. Comprende?"
Aoshi tilted his head to one side and regarded Sano as one would regard a fly swatted underneath a rolled up newspaper - with obvious disdain and sick curiosity. "You know foreign language?" He asked in a tone that actually sounded like, "You have a brain!?"
"Ugh, no... picked it up from one of those crazy foreigners at the gambling house. Why? Do you know Spanish?" Sagara retorted in his challenging voice.
"Si." Aoshi answered, blank faced and blank eyed.
Sano looked stumped for a minute but then shook his finger in the air, giving him a condensing smile, "I bet that's the only word you know. And by the way, hearing you say that, it's just too freaky, so don't, ok? You're gonna scare people with that."
Kenshin didn't seem in any way impressed by the discovery that he and Sano could speak in another language. "Aoshi what are you going on about here?"
Aoshi actually knew what Kenshin was talking about, but for the sake of being a pain in the ass, which he didn't have the opportunity to do often, Aoshi blinked at Kenshin as innocently as he could and muttered, "It's Spanish, Battousai. You want some translation?"
Sano guffawed. "Ok, let's just clear this up. You do not get to be funny, that would be me." Sano coughed some more trying to cover up the chuckles that were escaping his lips. He slapped Battousai at the back and smirked at him, "But that was funny, you gotta admit that Kenshin."
Kenshin barely cracked a smile.
Sano's smile disappeared immediately. "Right. He's stepping on the line. Let's just kill him and put him on sack. Nobody would miss him. We can just tell Misao that after much soul searching he had decided to become a Tibetan Monk." Sano paused, "Okon, d'you got that right? That's T-I-B-E-T-A-N Monk."
"Can't you be serious for once Sano?" Battousai asked sounding annoyed.
Aoshi was far too busy thinking of himself as a Tibetan Monk to notice Sano looking extremely purplish.
"Kenshin, I just realized what I said..." Sano answered through painful gasps of air.
"Good, finally you're understanding what I have been trying to tell you about being honest and... what are you laughing at?" Kenshin asked frowning up at Sano.
Sano was bent over, laughing uncontrollably with tears leaking from his eyes. Aoshi watched as Sano tried to calm down enough for him to form a coherent sentence. "I just had a mental picture of Shinamori.... bald and wearing orange." Sano roared with laughter.
An image of himself, as Sano had described floated through his mind. Aoshi cracked his knuckles.
Sano swallowed hard and chocked on his laughter. It took quite a while to finally stop laughing. "Ok, ok... geesh. And here I thought you were finally starting to have some sense of humor."
Battousai suddenly spoke up. "Why Kaoru and not Misao?"
Aoshi sighed heavily; did he really have to explain everything? "Sagara's theory, no matter how stupidly he had stated it, is true: we no longer have the right of choice. We will let them decide and they have decided."
"And you know this because?" Sano asked raising his eyebrow.
"It's time."
"Dammit, Aoshi, you like being so damn cryptic don't you? It's this whole mysterious aura of yours that you have to project isn't it?"
"Sano..." Battousai began, what obviously would be another long monologue on honesty and scheming, the red-haired just couldn't seem to get it that Sano would never get it! The Chicken Head punk would never grow some values and integrity over night, why can't Battousai see that? Why can't Takani-san see that for that matter?
Sagara was a hopeless case.
SANO
Well, fine. No sense in being stubborn. Aoshi made a point. Kenshin made a lecture. It's time for him to see the light and admit that his plan was far too sophisticated for the hopelessly romantically challenged.
"Look, ok. I get it. We're giving them the power over us. Make us vulnerable to them. I think I would..." Sano paused, trying to get his thoughts into words. "I mean, I think Kenshin would rather hear Megumi say that he just won't be able to measure up to me than hear Jou-chan say that she has chosen an Ice prick... oh, sorry, I mean, a Zen Master..." He immediately corrected himself as Aoshi had suddenly towered over him, arms crossed and looking very pissed. "...over a swirly eyed rurouni." Sano continued, "So yeah, ok I get it. I'm not dense you know."
"Right. How very perceptive of you!" Aoshi said with barely a hint of emotion in his voice.
Sano raised his eyebrow a little surprised that Shinamori was capable of actually being sarcastic and at this early of a morning too.
"What will you tell Kaoru?" Kenshin asked quietly.
"That she will make the right decision whatever it is." Aoshi answered sounding...well, he definitely didn't sound cold or sarcastic, at least that Sano was sure of. Could it be? Could Jou-chan actually been successful in melting this prick of an ice?
Kenshin finally let out a shadow of a smile. "I'll go talk to Megumi then."
Sano mock-glared at Kenshin. "You're not going to tell Megumi that you liked sucking on her fingers, right?"
"Sano! I already apologized for that."
Sano paused for a while, watching Kenshin guiltily squirm. He let out a small smile and nodded at a surprised looking Kenshin. "And I'm telling you that it's ok."
"What? It is?" The poor guy sounded so shocked.
"Yeah." Sano cocked his head to one side, "Absolutely. I'm starting to see it in a new light. It's a disturbing image, but it's pretty funny. No harm done."
"You're awfully confident Chicken Brain." Shinamori had his know-it-all-smug look plastered across his face.
"You would be if you were me." Sano wasn't bothered by the stormy look on Aoshi's face; he had more problems to worry about. "What will I tell Misao? I can't dump her you know. And I have the feeling that she'd want us to continue and see what we might have together... as a couple..."
"You will tell her the real reason behind that kiss." Aoshi ordered him through gritted teeth.
"I don't remember asking for your advice, Shinamori. And we did not kiss! I was a few centimeters short of kissing her, yes, but there was no actual lip-to-lip contact. Ok, maybe there were few physical contacts, but I swear, I didn't mean it when her... uhm...her... when my hands brushed against her uhm...Right. I'm shutting up now."
"If you think that's going to save your tonsil, Sagara..."
"Geesh, lighten up Shinamori. Fine, I'm going to pour my heart out to Misao. Happy now? But if she says she's madly in love with me, you can't kill me Shinamori! That's against the rules."
Aoshi just stared at him.
"Right Kenshin?" He turned at Kenshin for help.
Kenshin looked highly doubtful, but gave his support nonetheless "Uhm. Okay. I guess."
"Ok, then... off to feed ourselves to the she-devils." Sano straightened his back and puffed out his chest, "Good luck and may Kami be with you." He said solemnly.
"Good luck to you too, Sano." Kenshin said, a little somberly.
Aoshi merely grunted in reply. And as if there were part of some long tradition of heroes' ceremony, the men slowly went out of the door, leaving behind an untouched tea and two upturned cups.
Not the most spectacular confrontation that Okon and Omasu had hoped. Nothing to tell Hiko here, they both thought with undeniable disappointment.
Still, there was the moment they are all waiting for.
The moment for truth.
The moment for true love to finally be revealed.
Mismatched or not, there would be some major reckoning to be dealt with. Hopefully, that's where the action would take place.
And forty jugs of sake are at stake here!
Oh, plus six hearts, but that wasn't really the concern of the rest of the house.
Finally, after one long weird week - it's show time!
END NOTE:
Anyone read up to this far? You? Wow! You're the greatest! Thank you! Hehe...
I know, I know... what was I thinking? And redemption clearly would not come from this chapter, but hey, only 6 more of this and you'd be free of my very...uhm, weird sense of humor. Sorry if the characters are all OOC! Hehe... well, as always, do tell me what you guys think. You don't know how much your comments mean to me. For advance chapters, join my groups! It's a small one and I'm trying to recruit (force, brain-wash and if I have money, bribe) people into joining.
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See you all there.
Next, Chapter 16 - The Heart Has Its Reasons. People are going to get kissed on this chapter! That's all I'm saying right now...
Guess that's it... see you in the next couple of weeks. Probably by the end of the month... how does that sound?