Help I'm a Fish --Part 5
"Price check on pink fuzzy slippers!" The clerk called loudly over the noise.
"Oh man Zero, !" X cried as he was shoved into a stack of toys. "I can't believe I let you talk me into shopping on Christmas eve...!"
"Come on X, you got to get your family their gifts right..?....so what's the prob...Hey get outta here BEAT IT !!.....little munchkin ..." Zero snapped, kicking a whiny child out of his way.
"Ok... But really Z,.........I don't even know where to start...what do I get them..?" X sighed.
"Hmmm" Zero shrugged.
Let's see chocolate for Dad.....I guess?"
"Here you can get this for Shades..." Zero smirked handing him a book.
"What's this for...?"
"He needs it trust me ......the dudes creepy.."
"And your brothers not !" X cried.
"Hey....insanity runs in our family." Zero grinned. "...proud heritage and all...."
""It's confirmed! .." X sighed rolling his eyes.
"Huh.?"
"Nothing ...now lets see. What should I get Rock and Roll...?" X said turning into another aisle.
"The little ones huh..?.......who's who..?.."
"Unnnn.....well......I don't...know...." X cringed.
"You don't know....?" Zero gawked at is blue companion.
"Oh...come on..It's not like Rock and Roll are gender specific !" X protested, throwing his hands in the air.
"No gender X, remember...no gender..." Zero smiled.
"Oh...that's it Z !...I'm going to get something for Rock and Roll. Why don't you get something for Bass.?"
"Hmmm...ya I guess that's a good idea. Is there a gun shop around here?"
"Ahh...Zero..?"
"Hmmm"
No guns...."
"Ok...is there a knife shop?"
".no knives"
"How..ab.."
"...or weapons"
"Maybe a.."
"Or sharp objects...
"Ah.."
"...or blunt objects.."
"A..."
"Or teddy bears."
"Oh X you worry too much.." Zero laughed walking away.
X blinked watching him go.....
// hmmm.....I'm getting plastic dinner ware......and duct tape........lot's of duct tape.....// X thought shaking his head as he headed for the toys.
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"No , no oh you're putting it in crooked Bass !"
That's not crooked...OW !!"
"Oh....HOLD STILL...!!!"
" ....God damn ...freaking pine tree!!!!!"
From his place in the kitchen X sighed.
// Why did I let Bass and Zero put the tree up...? //
"Here...hold this.."
"What..?"
"Hold the base Bass !!!" Zero snapped.
"You hold it..!" he growled back.
"Which one..?"
"What do you mean which one !!!!" Bass hollered. "It not like you have a multiple choice here Zero !!!
"Ok !! There tighten it hurry, it's straight...!!!" The Long haired blonde shouted.
"Ok...ok...unnngg...and.....there.." Bass leaned back to observe their hard work " AACK ZERO YOU TWIT......THE STUMP GOES IN THE HOLDER...... YOU GOT THE TREE UPSIDE DOWN !!!!!" he yelled, yanking the tree from his brothers grasp.
"Hey...cut it out.." Zero glared at him. "What do you think you're doing?"
"I'm going to do this right..!" Bass snorted.
"Not without me you're not.." Zero huffed ".in case you haven't noticed I'm the brains of this operation!!!"
"We're doomed" Blues mumbled dryly, from his place by the closet.
"Bug off Shades!" Zero snarled, turning back to Bass and the tree. "Aaakk Bass...." The two began to have a tug of war with the unfortunate pine.
"Hey leggo!!!"
"MINE!!!"
Blues watched for a moment. "Sigh..." He shook his head, walking to the closet. "Lets see Christmas ornaments...." he pulled open the door.." Christmas ornat...AAGHHH !!"
CRASH !!!!!!!!
"X!!!" Blues yelled, pulling himself free from the hideous pile of junk he'd suddenly become buried under. "Geez!!...what a slob.." he dusted himself off , pulling a box out from the clutter.
"Hmm...Christmas ornaments ...ahhh.....Rock !!....Roll...come here !!!"
"Ya?" Rock asked peeping from around the corner.
"Here you and Roll go though the Christmas Ornaments and get them ready for the tree. I'm gonna get the lights out..."
"Ok Blues," Rock nodded grabbing the box and running off with Roll.
"Now lets see, a..................the......Lights?" Blues reached deep into the box and pulled out a string of lights so knotted and wadded up it looked like the hair ball of some massive cat.
The sandy haired boy blinked at the mass.
"Sigh........X...............my brother the twit..." he groaned, as he began the impressive job of untangling the massive thing.
// Damn it X !! What possessed you to do this to the lights..?..//
Quite awhile later
"OK...there" Blues plugged them in. And was rewarded with a glow.
Before they went dead.
"WHAT!!" he cried. "$#&^&^*@!!!!!" Grabbing the string he looked carefully. "What happened !!"
"Oh you know those lights...when one goes out they all go out. " Zero called from his place behind the tree.
"Which one went out then..?" Blues growled.
"That's what you gotta find......one little light bulb at a time.." Bass smirked. "HA HA HA the insanity of it all...!!!"
Blues grabbed the string, yanking on each light as he went.... "I will not scream.....I.....will.....NOT...Scream..."
"That's right keep it up Bl....Arrhg Zero....Now it is crooked.!!" Bass snapped. "Oh...move let me do the tree."
"No..."
"Yes!"
What about me..?" the crimson hunter glared at his big brother.
"Un...why don't you help..Blues.." Bass offered, even as Blues sent the glare of death his way.
"Hmm..ok.." Zero sighed getting up. Oh Bluuuuueeessssss !!!"
Bass cringed as Zero walked over the closet and plunked himself down next to Blues. The boys shades didn't stop his glare from reaching Bass. " heh." Bass attempted a meek wave, hoping they could work it out later tonight. To which Blues answered by promptly biting the head off one of the angles.
".!!!!...." Bass's jaw hung open. He was defiantly not going to get any tonight. Actually he would be lucky if he didn't lose anything tonight.
Bass shivered.
"Oops!" Zero exclaimed as another bulb burst in his hand. "Oh oopsie....umm here let me help you with that.."
Blues groaned looking up from the maze of wire and bulbs. "Will you get out!!!"
"No"
"WHY NOT !!"
"You didn't say the magic word.." Zero smiled.
Blues looked at him, he had a couple of magic words he'd love to say to the bloody bimbo standing in front of him. Not to mention a few choice phases reserved for the one behind him.
He took a deep breath counting to ten....when that didn't work he tried twenty...then thirty. Then he just gave up on the counting crap and decided to play along with Zero's little mind game.
" Ok....Zero...would you Please leave me alone.."
// before I kill you //
He said smiling thought gritted teeth.
"NO !"
"...I SAID THE MAGIC WORD....did I not !!!!!!!!!!!!" Blues yelled.
"OH... I know But I won't let you all the work yourself."
"I don't want help" Blues mumbled.
" Well I'm Gonna help you weather you want it your not." Zero beamed.
"Oh goody.......this should be fun..."
"What ?...Are you not impressed by my mental abilities ?" Zero asked, with such sincerity that Blues had to bite his tongue to keep from laughing. He let his humor die out before attempting to comment.
"Zero...you have the mental abilities of a pop tart. Please just go away. Find something shiny to amuse yourself with."
Hmmmph...creepy little vampire."
Zero muttered getting up and walking out to the kitchen.
X frantically dashed from pot to pot, adding salt to the yams , turning the heat down on the gravy.
// oh man....I need a hand with this....// he thought.
"Rock, Roll, !!" he called out.
There was a scrambling of feet as the two young robots scurried into the kitchen.
"Yes...?'
"You called..?"
"Un...ya I need your help.. There on the table please..." X pointed to the table covered with various items.
Rock and Roll peered at the junk on the table's surface.
"Hey check it out...!! X has neat stuff !! " Rock cried grabbing one of the items. "Grrr... I'm gonna eat you ha ha ha!!"
Roll groaned "Oh don't be such a twit..! X...he's playing with your toys.."
"My toys?" X turned from the stove. "Arrgghh.... Those are Cain's dentures !!!!"
"Ewwww!!!' Rock cried throwing the teeth to the floor.
"Gross..." Roll cried.
They made a cracking noise as they hit.
"Oops" Rock grimaced. He glanced about for somewhere to hide the things..
X hung his head. "Why me....I used to have a handle on life...."
Just then Zero walked in, and stomped over to where X stood. "X....I need a hug..." he whined.
The blue bot let out a sob. "...But it broke.."
"X."
"X..!"
'Hey X..!!"
Everybody shouted to him at once. X felt his annoyance level peak.
"Stop it...can't you see I'm going bonkers...I want I little privacy." he shrieked.
"Oh X let a pro show you how to do it.." Zero said.
"Umm X.." Rock asked "X.."
"WHAT..!" X turned to his little brother.
"Your goop is boiling.." Roll pointed to a bubbling pot on the stove.
"Arrghh my cranberries" X lunged to save them, placing a bare hand on the side of the pot.
" AAAAAGGGGRRRRHHHHHH !!!!!Ow...hot hot ow ow.."
"X..!!!" Zero whined again.
"Not now Zero !...ow..ow...I'm a little busy...ow..!!" X snapped not looking up from his cooking."
"Hmmph" Zero huffed tossing his long mane indignantly...................right across the burner.
X sat the pot down blowing on his burnt fingers" Sniff sniff....what is burning..?" he wrinkled his nose.
"HE IS !!! " Rock yelled pointing to Zero.
"ARRGHHH" Zero screamed " MY locks ...my beautiful golden tresses SAVE ME !! "
"Hold still !!" X cried Grabbing the flaming pony tail and dunking it in the sink.
"WHAT THE !! It didn't go out..?" Roll cried in amazement.
"OH great, " X cried "That's because Zero has every chemical know to man in his hair. " he grabbed the extinguisher and sprayed the white foam over his friend. "There.."
"Ahhhhhh' Zero relaxed somewhat, leaning back to let his singed hair cool.
"Now that you have my attention Zero....what do you want..?"
"Oh X let me help. I the mighty one....am bored." Zero shrugged.
"Fine.." X muttered. "Go clean the turkey."
"Alright.." Zero walked over to were the mammoth bird lay on a plate. "Hmm" He smirked.
"Alright...good...." X adjusted the heat to one of the pots, and carefully stirred in some seasoning. "There.."
"Hey X, Look !!" Zero cried. "It's howdy doody time.." he swung the turkey merrily in the air, as Rock and Roll laughed hysterically.
"Aaarrghgh....Zero, get your hand out of the birds ass !!" X exclaimed. "It's guts are still in there.!!"
"Eww !! Gross!! " Zero yelped , flinging the bird back down on the plate.
"Would you just clean it pleeeease !" X said giving an irritated sigh, before turning back to his cooking.
"Fine, fine" Zero assured him. "Come on birdy, heh heh...it's bath time." he strolled down the hall to the bathroom.
"Hmm let's see add two cups chopped onion.. And .." X glanced up from his cook book.
"Rock , Roll, I need your help...ok?'
"Right" they nodded.
"Good...un...you" X said pointing to Rock " Go the table and mix all that stuff together ok?"
"Ok' Rock nodded.
"Good, And you ...go find Dad and Dr. Cain. They should have been here an hour ago"
"me?..but...why...I.'m better at cooking..."
"Cooking is man's work..." X stated. Earning himself a few odd stares.
"No gender X" Roll corrected.
" GO!!!"
"Hmmpph !" she glared at him, but turned . With that the two ran to carry out their appointed tasks.
X sighed watching them go.
"Good...hey Z, how's the turkey coming?..um......Zero?" X turned about the kitchen "Zero...?"
// now where did he go.? //
Then he noticed the turkey missing from the platter.
// OH NO..!! //
"Zero !" X shouted running to the bathroom "Stop, that's not what I meant!!"
Rock climbed up onto a chair by the table, looking over the various items.
// Bread and spices and onions and...?..//
"Oh well he said to mix everything together.." The little boy dumped everything into a large bowl and began to stir.
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Roll trotted down the hallway looking for Cain's office.
"Well hello little one.." Douglas smiled, leaning down to greet her. "Are you looking for someone?"
"Yes. I'm looking for Dr. Cain's office." she answered.
"Oh well I'll show you where it is ." he started down the hall way Roll in tow. "Aren't you a little young to be here...?' Douglas asked after they'd been traveling a few moments.
"I'm visiting X and Zero" Roll replied.
"You're related to them....?" Douglas asked .
"Yes I......" Roll grinned . She could have fun with this. // payback X //
She turned wide blue eyes up at Douglas "You...mean they n..never told you about me ?.."
She sniffed pretending to be hurt.
"Um...No" Douglas stammered, taken back "Should they..?"
"I...just thought..t...that they would have mentioned their illegitimate daughter....sniff....that's all.
But I guess they want to keep me a secret.
Douglas's jaw dropped . // X and Zero had a love child......together.?... I thought Zero was a boy..? ....acckk what if it was X.....maybe.....!!! ....no gender.....remember ...no gender...//
Douglas shook himself from the stupor, as they approached the door. " Um well here ya go. "
"Thanks.." Roll smiled at him.
"Ya..... good luck with your family." Douglas called. With that he quickly dashed away. He had to get to the printing room.
*************************************************
"Dr Light ...DR. Cain come on dinner is ready " Roll called knocking on the door.
The door opened and Lights stepped out. "Coming Roll, we were just discussing the Christmas play."
"Yes" Cain nodded, "Now about dinner I can hardy wait I bet it will be something else. Now where are my dentures...?"
To be continued ..........