"Welcome to public school, princess!" Hyde shouted. Ugh, Jackie Burkhardt. 'I'm so pretty, I'm so rich'. That girl won't last a week here. "I like her. I'm gonna ask her to the Spring Fling." Hyde suddenly realized what Kelso said and turned his head away from the gymnasium door. "What? You're kidding me?" It figures Kelso would have a thing for her. He really is clueless. Doesn't he know that girls like that only mean death? "Kelso, just when I thought you couldn't get any dumber, you surprise me." "Thank you Hyde. Wait...what?" "Nothing, do what you want. It's your funeral." All Hyde knew was, he wouldn't be caught dead with a girl like Jackie Burkhardt. "Donna? That's your name, right?" "Jackie, you know that's my name." "Yeah, but my friends don't have to know that I know." If the cheer squad saw her talking to this freak show she knew she'd just die. "Donna, can we talk?"
"Fine, if you make it quick. I've got wrestling practice today."
"Believe me, I wouldn't talk to you unless it was completely
necessary" Jackie said with her hands raised, palm open, in defense. "Okay, so we agree on that. What do you want?" Donna peered over her shoulder looking for questioning stares. "Look, I really like Steven Hyde." Donna spun her head around, "What?" then burst into laughter. "What's so funny?" Jackie asked and threw her hands on her hips. "YOU like that twitchy Eric Foreman." This cut Donna's laughter off quickly. She grabbed Jackie's arm and pulled her into a darker area of the hallway. Jackie knew she had pushed just the right button. "Okay, okay. So you like Hyde." She tried to hold back another giggle. "Stop laughing!" She demanded and pinched Donna in the arm. "Owe, that hurt you midget." She knew the burly red head could hurt her, but didn't care. She was on a mission. She would get the information she needed, even if it meant brawling with the toughest girl in school. "Well, stop laughing." They glared at each other for a moment before Donna finally broke eye contact and rolled her eyes. "Look Donna, I just wanna know if he has a date to the Spring Fling?"
"Jackie, Hyde doesn't go to dances. He doesn't even like dances; he doesn't even like the word dance. If I were you I would just forget about it." "So, you're saying I don't have a-" "-A chance? No." Donna cut her off. "Listen, I gotta get going. Sorry to burst your bubble princess." She walked away but then shouted over her shoulder, "I think Kelso's gonna ask you!" Jackie stood there speechless, which was very rare for the Burkhardt girl. She sighed, and pondered what Donna had just told her. Then, without giving Hyde another thought, said, "Well, Michael will do." Kelso: "I can't believe we're doing thisch in your parent'sch baschement, Foreman."

Forman: "I know. Its like, I'm doing something really bad and it feels SO cool. Hyde, where'd you get this?"

Hyde: "I stole it from Edna, man. Her and 'Uncle' Ted were passed out, so I snagged it from her 'special place'."

Kelso: "What'sch her schpecial playsche?"

Forman: "Oh, I know...wait, no I don't...wait...yeah, I know this one...wait..."

Hyde: "Shut-up Foreman."

Kelso: "Yeah, schut-up Foreman. Owe! Damn Hyde!"

Forman: "Man, I don't know if it's the stuff or your headgear, but I can't understand anything you're saying."

Hyde: "I can't believe you're gonna ask Jackie to the dance. Don't you know what you're exposing yourself to?"

Kelso: "Yea, sche's hot, and risch...scho sche can buy me schtuff."

Forman: "What...Have you always been this hard to understand?"

Hyde: "Whatever. I just think you're making a big mistake."

Kelso: "Well, I think I'm gonna get a lot of schtuff and you're going to be schitting down here wisching you'd have asched Jackie scho you could get schtuff."

Hyde: "Hey...where you goin' man?

Forman: "Did Kelso just leave, or become invisible?"

Hyde: "He left."

Forman: "Where'd he go?"

Hyde: "I don't know...TO GET WHIPPED!"

Kelso: "I. HEARD. THAT!"

Forman: "Wow, I wanna get whipped."

Hyde: "You're leaving?"

Forman: "Whoa. Did I just stand up or did you just shrink?"

Hyde: "Leave."

Forman: "Kay."

Hyde sat in the cafeteria eating his lunch. Well, it wasn't his lunch, so much as the lunch of three unfortunate sixth graders. He was sitting by himself today because Eric, Donna and Kelso were on the class field trip. He had been caught cheating on another math test and was not allowed to go to the Arboretum for the day. It wasn't his fault Jimmy Schmidt wasn't covering his answers, anyone could have seen them. He was just about to open the last of the three brown bags when he felt the presence of someone standing near him. He didn't have to guess that it was a girl, her scent filled the air. He despised perfume. The girls in his grade always wore too much. Pam Macey wore so much that he held his breath when he saw her walking toward him. But this scent was not from Pam Macey. This one was softer. He lifted his head up and turned to face, Jackie Burkhardt. "Hi, Steven." Ugh. How could something that smells so good come from a girl that he loathed so much? "Please tell me you're not talking to me." "Yes, I am Steven. Now you listen." She placed her books on the table and sat down next to him. "Listen to yourself." He just wanted to eat his lunch in peace. "Look, I just wanted to know if you could have Michael hurry up and ask me to the dance already?" "He hasn't asked you yet?" "No, so will you tell him?" Hyde tried to focus on something other than her scent, "Whatever." "Will you?" she demanded impatiently. "Go. Away!" "Fine! I'll tell him myself." She got up from the table. "You know Steven, you're mean!" "Yeah, well, you're Satan." Jackie gasped and glared at him with her mouth wide open. She grabbed her books, cradled them in her arms and stormed off to join the table full of cheerleaders. Finally, he didn't think that midget would ever leave. What could possibly make her think he would talk to Kelso for her? Why would he want to purposely sabotage his friend? Then again...why wouldn't he? There's nothing better than watching your best friend go down in flames. Heh. And how long could it possibly last? Kelso's dumb, but not dumb enough to stay with her. The only downfall is, she'll be hanging out at the basement. Well...at least she smells good.

Hyde: "Kelso man. Jackie told me, to tell you, to ask her already."

Kelso: "I did. Sche schaid yesch, then told me what I had to wear, when I had to pick her up, how my hair schould look-"

Forman: "Kelso, we don't care."

Kelso: "Schorry."

Hyde: "Yes...you are."

Donna: (Laughing) "This stuff is so great, how come you've never invited me before?"

Forman: "Oh...Donna, I really wanted to, but Kelso and Hyde wouldn't let me."

Kelso: "That'sch not true. You told usch not to becausche you get nervousch aroun' her."

Forman: "Kelso!"

Donna: (Laughing) "What did he say? I can't understand him with his headgear on. Wow, I can't believe you guys have been holding out on me, this is awesome."

Hyde: "Next thing you know Jackie will be joining us."

Kelso: "Jackie wouldn't do thisch, sche hatesch you."

Forman: "Well, boo-hoo, right Hyde?"

Donna: (Laughing) Boo-hoo. (Laughing) That's funny! (Still laughing) Jackie may hate you now, but last week she wanted to go to the dance with you."

Hyde: "Heh, yeah right."

Donna: "No, its true...Boo-hoo! (Laughing)

Hyde: (blank stare. cough.)

Kelso: "Wait...what about Boo-hoo? I can't underschtand you Donna, schtop laughing!"