[Disclaimer: In a way, I'm glad that I didn't create them. I'm not so sure
I'd like to be the parent of something so complex and painful.
Once again, story by the one and only Michie.
I had someone read this and say that Haruka was out of character; that she'd never just give up like that. But, does anyone remember how willing she was to shoot the talisman out of herself in episode 111? Those emotions are the basis for that.
I like reviews...
Enjoy!]
Three: Dying
Two days. It's been two days without you here. It's not like I haven't been without you before; back then, you'd go off and travel on concert tours across the country, or in Europe. But it's different now. I can't call you; ask you how you are, when you're coming back. Because you're not.
That day was the longest day of my life. The police arrived a few minutes after you died. They tried to get me to leave your body where it was, to get up, to walk away from you. But I couldn't. All I had left of you in this world was that body, the form that had once been yours, the graceful, gentle figure, the body of a soldier. She was gone, but I still held her body in my arms. Nothing they did could convince me to let go.
It seemed that the man had fled the area. Now, I wonder why he didn't shoot me after he had shot you. I wish he would have, so I wouldn't have had to suffer like this. He probably just saw me, in pain, and got what he wanted. I'm suffering more now than any physical pain I could ever experience.
So, they left me be, for a time, with you. I was a mess. I still am. Covered in your blood, sobbing into your body, screaming curses and pleading with the crowd, wishing with all of my power that I could bring you back. Then, they decided that I could no longer stay there. The officers had to pull me off of you with their own arms. It took four of them; I was kicking and screaming and crying. Finally I just gave up.
They tried to ask me questions about what had happened to you, but I couldn't answer them. I want to help them find the man who did this to you, but without you, I have no strength to do much of anything. I can hardly exist.
Late at night I got home. Setsuna and Hotaru knew about it, as the police had come by earlier. They had looked though my things, to see if there were any clues about why someone had wanted to hurt me. Hotaru was in her room, and it was Setsuna who had greeted me at the door. She had been crying, I could tell, but wasn't any longer. That angered me; I wanted to see her cry. I wanted to see them all cry for Michiru. It just isn't fair. Were any of them affected at all by her death? I can't tell. Of course, I don't cry anymore either. But, with me, it's because I don't have any tears left.
I can't sleep; I lay awake at night, with that moment playing over and over again inside of my head. Even when I'm awake, I think about how I could have saved you. I've hardly eaten; the only things keeping me from dying are glasses of water and the occasional sandwich Setsuna brings up to me. Hotaru-chan has visited me up here occasionally, but I can't talk to her for long. There's nothing inside of me for her to talk to. I feel like an empty shell; my soul is where you are.
The littlest things remind me of you. Just yesterday, I noticed your hairbrush, sitting neatly on your nightstand. I picked it up, smelled it. And then, it was almost as if I was lying next to you in bed again, my arms wrapped around you, my face buried in your gorgeous waves of hair. You smelled like the sea.
I drove down to the shore last night, to catch that smell. We used to drive there, together, and sit on the rocks, and look out at the endless vastness. The wind blowing over the water is different there. At that place was the perfect blend of sea and sky. A representation of us; what we once were. Inseparable.
Nothing is exciting anymore. I can drive around for hours, and I'll still be numb. The wind through my hair, the thrill of the race, it doesn't matter anymore. Driving isn't worth it without you by my side, waiting there, talking in your melodious voice, laughing beautifully at my silly words. I can't race anymore. There's not enough fight in me left. They've been contacting the house, worried that the best racer in Japan won't get back into any major races this season. If I don't race, I won't get into the championships. And Setsuna gives them all the same reply. She's still recovering. She'll race again when she's ready. But I can't tell them that there might be no time when I'm ready. Maybe I'll just fade away, like so many other legends. Fine with me. That doesn't matter anymore to me, like so many other things.
I know I'll die if I keep this up. Without food, without rest, my body will simply fall apart. Hotaru-chan looks sad whenever she looks at me now. I don't want her to think that this is what happens when you fall in love, but it's true. If I hadn't met you, if I hadn't fallen in love with you, I wouldn't be like this. But there'd be so many other things that I wouldn't have done, that I wouldn't be. I was a coward back before I met you. I would probably still be one now.
They all look at me with such pity in their eyes. Some of the girls came over today to visit, and Mako-chan brought a cake she had made. It looked good, but I just couldn't eat any. They all looked so sad, and they all said that they felt so sorry. But, what do they feel? It's harsh, I know, but they didn't know Michiru like I did. They'll keep on living without her, but I know I can't.
Hotaru always looks at me with sad eyes now. I can't stand it; she doesn't look at me like a parent anymore, more like a sad, lost soul. But maybe that's what I've become. A wandering spirit with no more love in this world.
Once again, story by the one and only Michie.
I had someone read this and say that Haruka was out of character; that she'd never just give up like that. But, does anyone remember how willing she was to shoot the talisman out of herself in episode 111? Those emotions are the basis for that.
I like reviews...
Enjoy!]
Three: Dying
Two days. It's been two days without you here. It's not like I haven't been without you before; back then, you'd go off and travel on concert tours across the country, or in Europe. But it's different now. I can't call you; ask you how you are, when you're coming back. Because you're not.
That day was the longest day of my life. The police arrived a few minutes after you died. They tried to get me to leave your body where it was, to get up, to walk away from you. But I couldn't. All I had left of you in this world was that body, the form that had once been yours, the graceful, gentle figure, the body of a soldier. She was gone, but I still held her body in my arms. Nothing they did could convince me to let go.
It seemed that the man had fled the area. Now, I wonder why he didn't shoot me after he had shot you. I wish he would have, so I wouldn't have had to suffer like this. He probably just saw me, in pain, and got what he wanted. I'm suffering more now than any physical pain I could ever experience.
So, they left me be, for a time, with you. I was a mess. I still am. Covered in your blood, sobbing into your body, screaming curses and pleading with the crowd, wishing with all of my power that I could bring you back. Then, they decided that I could no longer stay there. The officers had to pull me off of you with their own arms. It took four of them; I was kicking and screaming and crying. Finally I just gave up.
They tried to ask me questions about what had happened to you, but I couldn't answer them. I want to help them find the man who did this to you, but without you, I have no strength to do much of anything. I can hardly exist.
Late at night I got home. Setsuna and Hotaru knew about it, as the police had come by earlier. They had looked though my things, to see if there were any clues about why someone had wanted to hurt me. Hotaru was in her room, and it was Setsuna who had greeted me at the door. She had been crying, I could tell, but wasn't any longer. That angered me; I wanted to see her cry. I wanted to see them all cry for Michiru. It just isn't fair. Were any of them affected at all by her death? I can't tell. Of course, I don't cry anymore either. But, with me, it's because I don't have any tears left.
I can't sleep; I lay awake at night, with that moment playing over and over again inside of my head. Even when I'm awake, I think about how I could have saved you. I've hardly eaten; the only things keeping me from dying are glasses of water and the occasional sandwich Setsuna brings up to me. Hotaru-chan has visited me up here occasionally, but I can't talk to her for long. There's nothing inside of me for her to talk to. I feel like an empty shell; my soul is where you are.
The littlest things remind me of you. Just yesterday, I noticed your hairbrush, sitting neatly on your nightstand. I picked it up, smelled it. And then, it was almost as if I was lying next to you in bed again, my arms wrapped around you, my face buried in your gorgeous waves of hair. You smelled like the sea.
I drove down to the shore last night, to catch that smell. We used to drive there, together, and sit on the rocks, and look out at the endless vastness. The wind blowing over the water is different there. At that place was the perfect blend of sea and sky. A representation of us; what we once were. Inseparable.
Nothing is exciting anymore. I can drive around for hours, and I'll still be numb. The wind through my hair, the thrill of the race, it doesn't matter anymore. Driving isn't worth it without you by my side, waiting there, talking in your melodious voice, laughing beautifully at my silly words. I can't race anymore. There's not enough fight in me left. They've been contacting the house, worried that the best racer in Japan won't get back into any major races this season. If I don't race, I won't get into the championships. And Setsuna gives them all the same reply. She's still recovering. She'll race again when she's ready. But I can't tell them that there might be no time when I'm ready. Maybe I'll just fade away, like so many other legends. Fine with me. That doesn't matter anymore to me, like so many other things.
I know I'll die if I keep this up. Without food, without rest, my body will simply fall apart. Hotaru-chan looks sad whenever she looks at me now. I don't want her to think that this is what happens when you fall in love, but it's true. If I hadn't met you, if I hadn't fallen in love with you, I wouldn't be like this. But there'd be so many other things that I wouldn't have done, that I wouldn't be. I was a coward back before I met you. I would probably still be one now.
They all look at me with such pity in their eyes. Some of the girls came over today to visit, and Mako-chan brought a cake she had made. It looked good, but I just couldn't eat any. They all looked so sad, and they all said that they felt so sorry. But, what do they feel? It's harsh, I know, but they didn't know Michiru like I did. They'll keep on living without her, but I know I can't.
Hotaru always looks at me with sad eyes now. I can't stand it; she doesn't look at me like a parent anymore, more like a sad, lost soul. But maybe that's what I've become. A wandering spirit with no more love in this world.