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The Past, The Present And The Future
The Past - Memories
Chapter 4 - Love Lost, Love Found
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Yusuke, Botan and Hiei were running and chasing after time.
Poor Koenma... he would have to wait for a long time before they
would arrive there.
"Yusuke! Why can't you run faster?" asked Hiei who was
obviously going slow at a pace of 30kmph. This time, his feet were
actually touching the ground instead of that flitting he always
did.
"Hiei, not everybody is as fast as you are and anyway, I'm
pretty out of shape myself," answered Yusuke breathlessly as he ran
along the sidewalk, avoiding pedestrians agilely.
Just as they were busy talking, they went round a corner and
bumped into someone, or more precisely, two persons. Poor Yusuke was
knocked down first and he lay at the bottom of the pile of bodies.
Before he went down, he caught a glimpse of the two reckless people.
They were Kurama and Kuwabara.
"Hey! Get off me!" yelled Yusuke quickly, already squashed
below.
A scramble for space soon followed and on top of that, shouting
voices were heard all over the whole place. One by one the entangled
limbs straightened themselves out and the cursing began.
"Hey! Are you guys blind?" yelled Yusuke, massaging his sore
waist.
"We didn't see you!" answered Kurama and rubbed his arm.
"Heh! Must be that baka who has stones for eyes," interrupted
Hiei coldly, smirking at Kuwabara.
Kurabara's face went slightly red and puffy, but he calmed
down. The bickering continued, with Kurama and Yusuke arguing about
who was wrong and who was not.
Very soon, quite a crowd of people had gathered around that
group; while Kuwabara just stood there watching. Hiei, who wasn't
used to standing in front of so many people, had practically flitted
up a roof and crouched there silently, watching his teammates bicker.
Suddenly, Yusuke's voice came right out, yelling. "Alright! We
will settle this later and let's get moving over to Keiko's ramen
shop!"
About a dozen pairs of eyes blinked and focused on Yusuke.
Slowly, the crowd began to disperse and the small group continued
running. Both Kurama and Kuwabara knew how notorious Yusuke's temper
could be if he was really upset.
It was an unusually calm day with no traffic jams or loud
commotion. Even the sky was blue as cornflowers. Little did they know
what they were going to discover. A discovery of a lifetime.
When they reached Keiko's ramen shop, they looked around for
Koenma. They half expected Koenma to be sitting in some corner,
sucking his stupid pacifier. Maybe eating a bowl of ramen or drinking
some type of fruit juice, after all it was summertime now.
Koenma wasn't there! The Urameshi team searched around
frantically because Koenma was never late or absent for meetings. In
fact, it was always Koenma waiting for them.
"Oh no... don't tell me Enma-Daiou has grounded him again..."
wailed Botan loudly, lapsing into another of her complaining modes.
Suddenly, Yusuke spotted Koenma standing near the counter.
"Guys! He's there!" yelled Yusuke to the rest and pointed his
index finger at the still figure.
The gang hurried towards him. When they reached there, Koenma
was standing motionless and they saw a trickle of blood running down
from Koenma's nose. What the hell could make Koenma react like that?
Blood? Why blood?
"Oh no! Don't tell me that Koenma was poisoned!" Botan at once
checked Koenma for any ailments with her healing powers. She grabbed
his wrist and felt around for a pulse. She found nothing wrong,
except Koenma's heart was beating exceptionally fast. On the other
hand, Koenma was frozen to the ground. Nobody else was there, except
the girl standing right in front of him. He was totally immersed and
wrapped up in his own thoughts, his own memories.
All of them gazed to the direction where Koenma was staring at.
Just at the entrance of the shop, they saw a beautiful girl. She was
in fact, breath taking. Her long eyebrows were perfectly shaped and
her complexion was spotless. Her oriental look made her very pretty,
at least in a way. Her shapely figure was framed with the ordinary
school uniform, but her curves still visible.
The whole group stared at Koenma, dazed, and then burst into
laughter.
"Ha! Koenma, I could blackmail you into giving me a holiday
now!" laughed an oxygen-deprived Yusuke. Even Hiei's mouth seemed to
curve upwards. Kuwabara walked towards the poor fellow and slapped a
hand on his back, New liking, huh?
Botan tried to contain her laughter. She kept her face
straight, but her complexion was slowly turning into a slight shade
of purple. Botan squeezed her eyes shut, trying very hard to shove
the thought that her boss was in love with someone.
Koenma was still looking at that girl without a sound and he
reached into his robe and pulled out a bloodstone pendant, hanging on
a gold chain. A single tear rolled down from his mysterious brown
eyes and landed on the ground below.
The whole group stopped laughing as they saw how heart
wrenching Koenma's expression was. Yusuke took one step forward and
put an arm around Koenma's shoulders. Yusuke was quiet for a moment
before he gently asked Koenma what the problem was. Just at that
moment, the girl bade goodbye to her friends and walked out of the
shop. Koenma pushed his friend away and raced after her.
"Misuko! Misuko! Wait for me!!!!" yelled Koenma with a group of
his friends trailing behind. That girl turned around to answer but
stopped when she saw Koenma.
She was shocked, an obvious confused expression lit upon her
face. She began to say something, but bit it back. At last, she
opened her mouth and asked: "Who are you and why do you know my
name?"
"Misuko, don't you remember me? I'm Koenma and this is the
pendant I once gave it to you," As Koenma said that, he showed the
pendant for Misuko to see. Misuko looked at him in disbelief. Koenma
stepped forward to hug her. Koenma was acting too rashly, but he
couldn't control himself. He had missed her for such a long time...
When Koenma hugged her, he could still feel her familiar curves
and skin under her clothing. Misuko was shocked to her very core as
she really didn't know who the heck this guy was. Misuko opened her
mouth and screamed:
"Get your dirty hands off me, you hentai!" Koenma was shocked
and he let go of Misuko. Koenma could feel several pairs of eyes
boring into him behind He could almost feel the whispers of some
people. Misuko struggled out and raised her hand. One swing and she
gave Koenma a stinging slap. Misuko stormed off angrily, disgusted at
Koenma.
Koenma was still dazed but he was still reluctant to let Misuko
out of his sight. He fingered the sore spot the she had slapped him
and silently, he followed her from about 100m's distance. Why? Why
did she slap me that suddenly? Koenma's mind was in a mess now. He
couldn't think rationally right now... That shock was simply too
much. Koenma always complimented himself on keeping his cool during
difficult situations, but it had pushed him over the edge this
time...
Misuko turned her head around and saw Koenma trailing her. Just
then, a bus stopped by and Misuko got into it quickly. Koenma stood
on the pavement, staring at the bus.
Yusuke and friends watched silently behind Koenma. Yusuke
whispered to Botan asking if she knew anything about Koenma's strange
behavior.
"If I knew anything, surely I wouldn't be standing here," Botan
whispered back. Botan had lost some of her usual cheerfulness, it was
simply too melancholy to laugh at this moment. Koenma was...
heartbroken. Botan walked towards Koenma and she put a comforting arm
around him.
"Let's go over to Genkai's temple and see how she can help
you," said Botan. Koenma nodded weakly and collapsed. Just before
darkness closed over him, Koenma could see the faces of his friends
staring at him. Koenma slowly let go of his consciousness...
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When Misuko got off the bus, her heart was beating wildly and
thoughts inside her head were swirling all around. Why did that guy
seem so vaguely familiar to me? That pendant... that bloodstone
pendant, it felt like I had once worn it around my neck. The cool
sensation... The way that guy had hugged me was also very strange,
like a sense of deja-vu washing over me.
"I must be going crazy over this. Most probably because of the
school test, I have too much mental pressure on me lately." Misuko
shook her head a few times and began walking home. Misuko kept
closing her eyes for some peace of mind from the uncontrollable
thoughts raging inside her head.
Misuko had managed to walk back to her house after a bout of
dizziness.
"Mi-chan, are you all right? You look pretty pale to me..."
asked Misuko's mother, obviously worried about her condition.
"Yeah, I'm okay, okaasan. It was a hectic day and I think I
need some sleep." As Misuko said that, she walked up the stairs and
into her bedroom. She tossed her school bag on her sofa set and
stepped in for a shower. Warm water flowed down her. Misuko put her
face up for the water to gush over it. Flashes of yellow, blue and
red light began to visualize in her confused mind. She finished off
her shower and got dressed up in her favorite T-shirt and shorts. She
flopped down on her bed and began drifting off to sleep. Began
dreaming about red roses.
It was midnight. Misuko still couldn't sleep after that dream.
A strange dream where Koenma had presented her a stalk of red rose.
She lay tossing and turning in her bed, she was still thinking about
that strange guy. Even his clothes seemed bizarre to her, like some
type of Chinese-kung fu outfit; but it was his expression and the way
he looked at her... like the way one would look at his lover. That
look wasn't simply given to anybody. Misuko couldn't think about
anything but him. Just by that expression, Misuko was sure that he
wasn't any hentai who wanted to take advantage of girls.
Maybe it was just an honest mistake. That guy could have
mistaken me for someone else. A thousand possibilities raced through
her mind and she promised to herself that the next time she saw him,
she would ask him the actual story.
Strange enough, she was very sure that she would meet him again
one day. One day...
Soon, Misuko herself fell asleep with the image of Koenma in
her mind.
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[Back at Genkai's temple...]
Yusuke, Kuwabara, Genkai, Yukina, Botan and Kurama were seated
around a circle discussing what had happened today. Koenma was still
lying on a futon nearby, in a state of near coma. Hiei was nowhere to
be seen.
"I'm really worried about Koenma. I have always seen him in his
funny or comical moods, but I have never see him in this way before.
It seems that he is totally out of control this time," said Kurama in
his usual graceful demeanor, his eyebrows knitted together in a half-
frown.
"Hahahahaha.... Maybe Koenma was some type of crazed maniac
that we didn't know about?" laughed Kuwabara, just exactly at the
wrong time and everyone was staring at him, speechless.
Bang! everybody looked at Kuwabara with Botan's fist embedded
in his head.
"Koenma-sama isn't that type of person," yelled Botan. "I'm
also a girl so why hasn't he touched me before?"
"Just because you're too ugly to look at," answered Kuwabara
cheekily and stuck out his tongue.
Crash! Botan had grabbed her oar and slammed it down
Kuwabara's head again, this time with all her force. Two swollen
bumps on Kuwabara's head began to visualize.
"Stop acting immature, both of you. Botan, you know that
Kuwabara was just joking," interrupted Genkai. Botan heard that and
threw Kuwabara a dirty look.
"It seems that the girl... what's her name again?... Oh yeah!
Misuko; had some past relations with Koenma. I never knew that Koenma
once had girlfriend," said Yusuke suddenly, saying out what
everybody was thinking at the moment.
"Well, it seems that none of us know what had the girl has
done to Koenma or more probably what has Koenma done to her under
very strong influences. It never occurred to me that Koenma actually
had some girl he likes," interrupted Kuwabara sensibly this time.
Genkai raised a hand to stop the chat. Everybody stopped
talking at once to look at her. Genkai then said, "I felt a very
strong presence of a strange power somewhere in Tokyo now. It felt
like... I don't know, it felt very strange. It's a powerful force
throbbing away in the midst of the busy city. I think it has
something in connection with the mission that Koenma has given you."
"Genkai-shihan, now Koenma-sama is still unconscious and we
can't go on our mission without him. We haven't got all the details
yet. I think we will have to wait until Koenma-sama wakes up,"
suggested Botan. Suddenly, Botan's eyes grew wide. That thought had
triggered something buried in her mind.
"Wait! I think I know why Koenma-sama always looked as if I had
stabbed him every time I teased him for having so many girls falling
for him in Ningenkai. During his breaktime, he will occasionally look
around for anybody and take out a bloodstone pendant and began
staring at it," said Botan suddenly, her eyes showing excitement to
her mini-discovery.
"Hah! How would you know if Koenma looked around for anyone and
didn't see you? He must be blind then," retorted Yusuke and rolled
his eyes.
"Of course I was hiding in a corner..." Botan's face flushed a
deep shade of red as she said that and everyone rolled their eyes.
The chat continued without a hitch. At least with occasional
arguing.
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The scene was foggy. Or maybe it looked more like a dream?
Koenma found himself face to face with Misuko. Misuko, he had been
dreaming and longing for her ever since that fateful day, but the
dreams began to fade more and more. Getting blurrier and blurrier
each time since he had last seen her.
This time was very clear, no obstacles or hazy scene obscuring
his view. Koenma felt himself kissing Misuko. A sudden headache took
over him and before his eyes, Misuko was slowly fading away. Just
before she left, she smiled.
Koenma could feel himself waking up and he let out a groan. His
entire body ached from fatigue. Koenma looked up and saw the whole
group of friends surrounding him.
"Koenma, can you tell us what had actually happened? Tell us
and we could help you to solve your problem," asked Yusuke gently.
Koenma could feel himself nodding in response.
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As Koenma finished his story, he burst into tears and buried
his face into his hands. Botan also wept and apologized to Koenma for
ever teasing him about girls. Koenma looked so broken that nothing
could seem to mend him.
"We'll help you to find Misuko again," assured Kuwabara.
"One question, Koenma-sama," said Genkai, looking straight into
Koenma's eyes.
"Yeah?" said Koenma, at last regaining his composure.
"You are in charge of the spirits in Reikai, so I think you
might have overlooked this important rule," said Genkai.
"What important rule?" asked Yusuke, interrupting from the
side.
"The rule is that once the person is reincarnated, memories of
the past life must be cleansed away. I am sure there's someone
special to do that," said Genkai, explaining the part she thought
that Koenma might have missed.
"Oh... I forgot... Genkai, you are right. I overlooked it,"
said Koenma sheepishly. Everybody else in the room face-faulted.
Clink! Clink! The metallic sound of Yukina's tears dropping
to the floor caught everybody's attention.
"Why, Yukina? Why are you crying?" asked Kuwabara, holding
Yukina's small hand.
"Koenma-sama also suffered the same fate as I have. Until now,
I still can't find my brother. Where is my brother?" Yukina said
sadly. Yukina also looked the same as Koenma. That heart broken
expression...
Clink! Clink! More tears that had formed into pearls dropped
on the floor. Kuwabara consoled her and promised her that he would
help her find her brother.
The rest just looked at them, speechless.
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The meeting was long over. Yusuke and his friends had gone for
their rest. Even Genkai went to her room to meditate.
Botan was feeling very uneasy. She hadn't mistaken that look on
Yukina and Koenma-sama's faces when they thought of their loved ones.
Botan herself never had any relatives so Koenma-sama and her friends
were the closest she ever had to a relative. Tonight, she learnt that
losing someone you loved was painful, perhaps even more painful than
Death itself.
She heaved a sigh and pulled open the sliding door. She slipped
into her slippers and went out to have a stroll in Genkai's garden.
Today, there seemed to be a lot of things on her mind, making her
anxious and jittery. She unconsciously shivered a little and wrapped
her arms around her slender body frame.
Genkai's garden in the temple was very beautiful. Most probably
almost the same as Reikai's imperial garden. Genkai really had green
thumbs, for managing such a beautiful garden with so many varieties
of flowers. Botan walked around and stopped beneath a tree. Under the
tree, there was a garden bench. Botan stooped and dusted it. Then she
sat on it and breathed in the cool relaxing midnight air. The
fragrant flowers were blooming full tonight but Botan's heart simply
wasn't there to enjoy it. She twirled the back of her ponytail
absent-mindedly and shook her head.
Botan was thinking about what had happened today. The more she
thought about Koenma-sama and Yukina, the more she was worried about
them. Yukina was there crying tears everyday, meanwhile Koenma-sama
was on the verge of going insane. Both of them had lost their loved
ones.
Consequences, consequences, they were very dangerous.
"How could Hiei be so cold-hearted to let his own sister suffer
in silence? Yukina's only consolation was Kuwabara, her now formal
boyfriend." A wry smile touched her face as she thought of that.
"Thank god that Kuwabara doesn't know about this or he would
practically rip Hiei into pieces. First, he will start with Hiei's
limbs, and then proceed to his head..." Botan stopped that thought
immediately as the gory scene filled her head. Hiei and Kuwabara were
always bickering non-stop and Kuwabara's reaction upon knowing his
darling Yukina-san's relation with Hiei wouldn't be nice.
"Maybe he has reasons?" Botan thought of that but she quickly
pushed it off. Reasons weren't the excuse to see someone suffer in
silence. She gritted her teeth angrily. Who was he to decide how
would Yukina lead her life in the future? Yukina wanted her brother
and someone to love her, to care for her.
"I can't do anything for Koenma-sama's case but I could do
something for Yukina's problem." As Botan thought of that, she stood
up and dusted her kimono. She raised her hand and an oar materialized
out of the thin air. She threw it into the air and watched it
float. She didn't want to use that whistle again because it would
cause unnecessary attention. She stood there in the night, wondering
what to do next.
You know that Hiei will not listen to you, girl. You know his
character! He will not listen to anyone if he has made up his mind.
He might even char you to a piece of charcoal, a soft voice
whispered in her head but she shoved that thought away quickly. She
had to try somehow or watch her friend bearing such pain in her
heart, even though she might end up as a small black piece of carbon
lying on the stone pavement by midnight.
"Well, I would have to search the treetops one by one."
Treetops... On an impulse, Botan looked up into the tree that she was
standing below and she found what she wanted --- Hiei.
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It had been a strange day, today. After being shocked from
sleep by the damned whistle, he was dragged by Urameshi and Botan to
see that baby, Koenma. What else? Koenma had fainted over some girl.
What a joke! Hiei snorted once and shook his head.
Stupid Ningens. Why were they so sentimental? Hiei could never
comprehend the way Ningens act towards each other. He always hated
the way Ningens cry and wail over such trivial problems. He sighed in
frustration and began polishing his katana with the edge of his
cloak.
Hiei was totally confused by the whole situation. Koenma had
asked them to see him, but instead he had gone down himself. It was a
waste of time. When that stupid blue head suggested they should go
over to Genkai's temple, he was very frustrated about wasting his
precious time like this. He just leaped and went to Genkai's temple
by himself. It was better than following them, those snails. At least
he could reach Genkai's temple within 1 minute while they took two
hours.
"That Botan! She is always annoying me with her baka ideas. She
nearly burst my eardrums using that whistle. And that was the second
time..." thought Hiei angrily and clenched his fists, forming a
mental image of that ferry-girl being eaten up by his black dragon.
Hiei smiled sadistically as he imagined Botan's irritating high-
pitched voice screaming for help. Her voice... Her voice... Maybe I
have grown used to it... All of a sudden, he felt a fluster in his
heart and his face felt hot, even he was a fire youkai. His grid
around the ebony handle of his sword tightened, he couldn't believe
that he was actually feeling emotions like this.
"She was actually quite beautiful, wasn't she?" A little voice
spoke at the back of his head. "Stop it!" Hiei commanded himself and
squeezed his eyes shut, trying in vain to disperse that image of the
giggling face. But then again, he wasn't even sure of his feelings.
"You like her, don't you..." That voice told him again. The
voice nagged at him again and again. Poor Hiei simply couldn't get
the head or tail of it. Then, the sound of footsteps drifted over. It
caught his attention and Hiei lifted his head to see who it was. A
figure dressed in a kimono and sandals walked up.
It was Botan, that stupid ferry-girl from Reikai.
Hiei debated whether to leave or stay. The footsteps were
drawing nearer. Hiei couldn't escape now, so he just crouched there,
on the top of the tree. You also want to peep on her, don't you?
whispered that voice again but Hiei counter-reacted by throwing it a
mental growl.
She stopped coincidentally, below his tree. She was there,
talking to herself. Hiei didn't like eavesdropping on other people,
but it was simply too tempting, so Hiei listened intently. He was
simply surprised that he heard his own name there.
Why in three worlds would she think about him? Hiei gave a
mental shrug and prepared to flit off in the darkness, but he was too
tempted to see where would Botan go after this. Slowly, he crouched
down again behind the branches, narrowing his crimson eyes at the
slender figure.
At last, Botan got up and dusted herself. She looked around and
then glanced straight up the tree. Hiei knew that he had been seen,
so in a whirl of black wind, he stood before Botan.
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"Hiei..." she began. Hiei just looked at her and sat down cross
legged on the stone bench. He looked just right at home with his
usual serious expression. Botan also followed suit and she walked
over to sit on the stone bench.
"Hiei... I think you would have to be ready to sit here for a
few minutes because I have something to tell you," ventured Botan.
Hiei sighed and nodded in agreement.
"Well, I think you saw Koenma-sama's reaction today. Do you
know that Yukina-chan also feels the same way?" said Botan
cautiously, but Hiei just kept quiet, with no obvious reaction.
"Please, Hiei. I'm sure you won't want to see your sister in
torture, right? Although I know that you may have your problems, but
you still would have to give Yukina-chan some type of explanation,"
said Botan, this time more boldly, her pink eyes looking straight
into Hiei's ruby-red ones.
"Look, woman. My personal affairs don't need you poking around.
I know what to do and not to do so just shut up!" shot back Hiei, his
eyes lighting up with frustration. He had his own reasons and he
didn't need someone else like Botan to nose into his life!
"But... Hiei, think again. Yukina-chan is really in a very
pathetic state, especially this evening. Every second of her life,
she is yearning for her lost brother," tried Botan again.
Hiei looked away, turning a deaf ear towards Botan's pleas.
"Hiei, if you don't admit your real identity towards her at
once, you are a gutless person!" yelled Botan, her eyes sparkling
with fury.
"Shut up!" growled Hiei menacingly. He looked quite angry and
black flame began to erupt from his fist.
"Do what you want to me. I don't care more or less, I just feel
sorry for Yukina-chan to have a jerk for a brother..." As she said
that, she closed her eyes, waiting for the searing pain of Hiei's
demonic fire burning her body away.
Botan braced herself internally. That baka... I won't give in
so easily. Seconds ticked by, it never came. Five minutes passed,
Botan cautiously opened one eye and then another. She looked down at
herself and found that she was still intact. She looked up at Hiei.
There were no more flames or any energy radiating from Hiei anyway;
besides, he looked calm.
Too calm to be true.
"Hiei..." she said more gently this time. "Do you want me to
talk to Yukina-chan about this?"
"No! I'll talk to her personally," answered Hiei. Then, his
voice lowered to a softer tone. "Thank you, for making me realize
things that I have not been able to face myself in the past." He
finished that sentence; a gust of wind blew on her face and he was
gone. Botan lifted her head to look at the star-lit sky and kept her
fingers crossed.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Hiei stood there as Botan tried to talk sense into him. He was
still confused about his feelings on Yukina and ...Botan. Yukina was
his sister, the only relative in this world he had. It hurt him to
see Yukina in pain. He knew that Yukina was crying her tears of grief
everyday, but he couldn't do anything about it. Who would want a
robber, a thief and a criminal under probation of Reikai for a
brother? When Botan said about Yukina and him having a heart of
steel; he had to face the reality set before him.
He sighed unhappily. Why must he hide from the truth of not
telling his real identity? That nightmare still terrified him every
single second he saw Yukina with his own eyes. It was so real, that
dream, that he could even hear Yukina screaming in agony. Hiei closed
his eyes, trying to disperse that bloody scene in his head. It didn't
disappear, instead, it began to intensify...
Evil youkais chasing Yukina... He, himself suffering for
serious wounds... Yukina was caught and brought before him... He was
lying on the ground, his eyes only had Yukina's image... One of the
youkais pulled out his katana from his limp body... Pierced it
through Yukina's body as a cruel form of torture for him... Yukina's
scream echoed around him as he watched Yukina's form slumped down...
His eyes snapped open and his fingers encircled his katana
protectively. It happened again. And again. And again.
It was too horrifying, even for him.
His heart ached every time when Yukina addressed him 'Hiei-san'
instead of the traditional 'niisan'. Very often, he had wished that
Yukina would call him 'niichan', or at least a simple word -
'brother'. He yearned for her attention and he couldn't help feeling
pangs of jealousy when Kuwabara clung to his Yukina-san
affectionately.
It's only a dream, Hiei.
You are just having a hallucination, Hiei.
You have wild imagination, Hiei.
Reasons, reasons.
He should tell her sooner or later. Besides, he was just having
a nightmare, right? Again and again, he assured himself that
everything would be all right. Everything would be all right.
Slowly, that image of Yukina's death slowly disappear from
his focus, but he saw someone standing with her eyes closed in front
of him. Botan.
Botan was always so irritating. She should have died for saying
such things to the famed "Forbidden Child". Just as he was going to
teach her a lesson, his conscience overwhelmed him. Although Botan
was being a busybody, but after all, she was just trying to do
something good, right? She deserved to die, but Hiei just couldn't
bring himself to kill her. Besides, he didn't want to get into
trouble with all that hanky-panky stuff at Reikai.
At last, Hiei let go of his fury and replaced it with calmness,
besides Yukina needed an explanation. After saying that unHiei-ish
speech, he suddenly felt embarrassed and he flew off. He needed
someplace to think of a way to tell Yukina.
Why did he felt embarrassed in the first place? There was
simply no explanation.
Hiei flew to a deserted place in the magnificent garden and sat
down. Slowly, he began to think. Thinking was a slow process to him,
for he had never took any chance to quietly ponder. Maybe he had the
perception that thinking about useless thing was a total waste of
time.
It was time to recollect pieces of his life. He had been born
into a community of koorime. When he was born, he was thrown into a
river and left to survive on his own. He had to fend for himself.
Hiei reached up to feel his Jagan underneath his head-band. His Jagan
was specially implanted to search for his sister.
Now, he knew where his sister was. After some consideration, he
decided to tell Yukina the truth; after all, Yukina might be happy to
know he was her brother. What if she wasn't able to accept him? Hiei
really couldn't imagine if he were to be turned down like that. Most
probably tears wouldn't be available too.
Too much grief, too little tears.
But one question mark still bugged him: Why did Botan want to
risk her life just to advise him on that? Botan really has good
intentions or maybe... she liked him.
"Nah! Not everybody had twisted thinking as you do." Hiei
chided himself, but he was still curious to know whether Botan really
saw him as a jerk. Just a tiny bit of curiosity, right? In reality,
he was so confused about his feelings. He sat down and placed his
katana with a soft thud on the stone pavement.
Life was almost too difficult for him to bear. Almost.
He wanted someone to care for him, someone to love him. At
least someone to lend a listening ear to his problems. In the past,
he felt that everyone was wearing a mask facing him, lying to him.
After all, he just wanted someone for support, nothing else.
Would Botan be the answer?
In the distance, he saw a room still lit with an oil-lamp and
he assumed that it was Botan's room.
In a second, Hiei reached that room. Sure enough, he heard
Botan singing to herself. Hiei put an ear close to the wall to listen
to Botan.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Botan heaved a sigh of relief. That encounter was close enough.
With a slight exertion of Hiei's youki, he might as well had charred
her to the moon. She considered herself lucky enough to survive. She
was very tired today. After being woken up to by George to send
Yusuke a message early this morning, then after that, Koenma's
incident and now, Hiei. She felt as if she had just ferried 100
spirits in a day. Even her head was throbbing with a painful ache.
Botan folded her arms and began to walk back to her room, in
Genkai's temple. In fact, the surroundings were very serene and
beautiful. When she walked in the interior of her room, she took off
her sandals and began undressing. With a flick of her wrist, she
simply threw her clothes aside, leaving only her flimsy slip on. As a
habit, she would sing her favorite BSB tune. She sat on her futon and
began talking to herself aimlessly as she massaged her laps and
knees.
"Do I really love Hiei?" she asked herself. "He's cute, he's
rude, he's exiting, he's..." she chanted a string of praises for
Hiei. "Although he is quite stubborn, but with the power of love, I'm
sure that he will be moved one day." As she said that, she walked
over to the lamp and extinguished the flame. The whole room plunged
into darkness. Botan smiled to herself in the darkness. Hiei
definitely was the model guy she was looking for.
Nah, forget about getting Hiei to like you. The both of you
have too much differences. Besides, when is the last time you have a
decent conversation with that vulgar fire youkai? Consider yourself
having a daydream, whispered a voice and nudged her mentally. Botan
sighed again and shook her head slowly.
Too often, she had wild fantasies about herself with quite a
number of guys she found attractive. Yusuke... Kurama... And now?
Hiei, that fire youkai.
Just as Botan was tucking herself in bed, a gush of cold night
wind rushed into the room. Botan looked at the open window and saw a
figure standing on the windowsill. "Who is it?" half-screamed Botan
and pulled the blanket around her more protectively as she shivered
uneasily.
Hiei ignored her and jumped. The next second, he was standing
beside Botan. He threw off his cloak easily and crouched next to
Botan, placing his katana on the wooden floor boards with a dull
thud. Slowly, he reached out a hand and took Botan by her right
shoulder, holding her up to face him.
"Hiei! What are you doing?" screeched Botan but Hiei quickly
clamped an empty hand over her mouth. She struggled, but Hiei looked
at her intently, instantly silencing her.
"Botan, is what you just said true?" As Botan heard that, her
face flushed a deep shade of red. Botan didn't expect someone to be
eavesdropping outside when she said that. For once, she was so
thankful that there wasn't a moon in the sky or her red cheeks would
be very obvious to him. Slowly, Hiei withdrew his hand and Botan
panted a little, still blushing fierily.
At last, she gathered all her courage and spoke to him. "Hiei,
please be honest with me. Did you ever like me before?"
Hiei thought for a moment; then, he replied: "Well, sometimes
you're irritating but I... I have found you attractive." On an
impulse, Hiei put an arm around Botan and felt her soft delicate skin
as he fingered it.
Botan shuddered at that touch. She had never been touched by a
male, especially her bare skin. Hiei's voice lowered into an even
softer tone so that it almost sounded like a whisper. "From now
onwards, I'll like you forever..."
Hiei climbed into the place on the futon next to her. Botan
could feel his warm body and he hugged her. Hiei bent down and gave
Botan a rough kiss on her lips and she could feel herself eventually
returning it.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
A male voice in the utter darkness suddenly sounded. "Botan,
can you keep our relationship a secret?"
"Why?" a female voice answered.
"Because I don't want that bastard Kuwabara and the rest
laughing their heads off."
"Well, I don't think that they will be that mean..."
"Botan, promise me. You know that jerk Kuwabara always finds
fault with me."
"Alright, as you wish." A long silence followed.
The male voice broke the silence again. "Botan, have you even
wondered why I didn't want to tell Yukina the truth?"
"Actually, I still couldn't get the head or tail of it, Hiei."
"I'm the Forbidden Child and nearly everybody in Makai wants my
life. If they knew Yukina is my sister, they would kidnap her in
exchange for me. This is why I want our things to be kept secret too.
But now, I am now finally reaching S-class and I think I'll tell
Yukina the truth."
The male voice asked again, "Do you regret being together with
me tonight?"
"No, I won't regret it and Hiei, I'm proud of you for being
able to tell Yukina the truth."
Again, only shallow breathing echoed in the room before another
question shattered the serene quietness. "Hiei, do you love me?"
No answer, only a low growl.
Gradually, silence set in again.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Copyright reserved 1998, 1999 W. Siew Lee
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The Past, The Present And The Future
The Past - Memories
Chapter 4 - Love Lost, Love Found
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Yusuke, Botan and Hiei were running and chasing after time.
Poor Koenma... he would have to wait for a long time before they
would arrive there.
"Yusuke! Why can't you run faster?" asked Hiei who was
obviously going slow at a pace of 30kmph. This time, his feet were
actually touching the ground instead of that flitting he always
did.
"Hiei, not everybody is as fast as you are and anyway, I'm
pretty out of shape myself," answered Yusuke breathlessly as he ran
along the sidewalk, avoiding pedestrians agilely.
Just as they were busy talking, they went round a corner and
bumped into someone, or more precisely, two persons. Poor Yusuke was
knocked down first and he lay at the bottom of the pile of bodies.
Before he went down, he caught a glimpse of the two reckless people.
They were Kurama and Kuwabara.
"Hey! Get off me!" yelled Yusuke quickly, already squashed
below.
A scramble for space soon followed and on top of that, shouting
voices were heard all over the whole place. One by one the entangled
limbs straightened themselves out and the cursing began.
"Hey! Are you guys blind?" yelled Yusuke, massaging his sore
waist.
"We didn't see you!" answered Kurama and rubbed his arm.
"Heh! Must be that baka who has stones for eyes," interrupted
Hiei coldly, smirking at Kuwabara.
Kurabara's face went slightly red and puffy, but he calmed
down. The bickering continued, with Kurama and Yusuke arguing about
who was wrong and who was not.
Very soon, quite a crowd of people had gathered around that
group; while Kuwabara just stood there watching. Hiei, who wasn't
used to standing in front of so many people, had practically flitted
up a roof and crouched there silently, watching his teammates bicker.
Suddenly, Yusuke's voice came right out, yelling. "Alright! We
will settle this later and let's get moving over to Keiko's ramen
shop!"
About a dozen pairs of eyes blinked and focused on Yusuke.
Slowly, the crowd began to disperse and the small group continued
running. Both Kurama and Kuwabara knew how notorious Yusuke's temper
could be if he was really upset.
It was an unusually calm day with no traffic jams or loud
commotion. Even the sky was blue as cornflowers. Little did they know
what they were going to discover. A discovery of a lifetime.
When they reached Keiko's ramen shop, they looked around for
Koenma. They half expected Koenma to be sitting in some corner,
sucking his stupid pacifier. Maybe eating a bowl of ramen or drinking
some type of fruit juice, after all it was summertime now.
Koenma wasn't there! The Urameshi team searched around
frantically because Koenma was never late or absent for meetings. In
fact, it was always Koenma waiting for them.
"Oh no... don't tell me Enma-Daiou has grounded him again..."
wailed Botan loudly, lapsing into another of her complaining modes.
Suddenly, Yusuke spotted Koenma standing near the counter.
"Guys! He's there!" yelled Yusuke to the rest and pointed his
index finger at the still figure.
The gang hurried towards him. When they reached there, Koenma
was standing motionless and they saw a trickle of blood running down
from Koenma's nose. What the hell could make Koenma react like that?
Blood? Why blood?
"Oh no! Don't tell me that Koenma was poisoned!" Botan at once
checked Koenma for any ailments with her healing powers. She grabbed
his wrist and felt around for a pulse. She found nothing wrong,
except Koenma's heart was beating exceptionally fast. On the other
hand, Koenma was frozen to the ground. Nobody else was there, except
the girl standing right in front of him. He was totally immersed and
wrapped up in his own thoughts, his own memories.
All of them gazed to the direction where Koenma was staring at.
Just at the entrance of the shop, they saw a beautiful girl. She was
in fact, breath taking. Her long eyebrows were perfectly shaped and
her complexion was spotless. Her oriental look made her very pretty,
at least in a way. Her shapely figure was framed with the ordinary
school uniform, but her curves still visible.
The whole group stared at Koenma, dazed, and then burst into
laughter.
"Ha! Koenma, I could blackmail you into giving me a holiday
now!" laughed an oxygen-deprived Yusuke. Even Hiei's mouth seemed to
curve upwards. Kuwabara walked towards the poor fellow and slapped a
hand on his back, New liking, huh?
Botan tried to contain her laughter. She kept her face
straight, but her complexion was slowly turning into a slight shade
of purple. Botan squeezed her eyes shut, trying very hard to shove
the thought that her boss was in love with someone.
Koenma was still looking at that girl without a sound and he
reached into his robe and pulled out a bloodstone pendant, hanging on
a gold chain. A single tear rolled down from his mysterious brown
eyes and landed on the ground below.
The whole group stopped laughing as they saw how heart
wrenching Koenma's expression was. Yusuke took one step forward and
put an arm around Koenma's shoulders. Yusuke was quiet for a moment
before he gently asked Koenma what the problem was. Just at that
moment, the girl bade goodbye to her friends and walked out of the
shop. Koenma pushed his friend away and raced after her.
"Misuko! Misuko! Wait for me!!!!" yelled Koenma with a group of
his friends trailing behind. That girl turned around to answer but
stopped when she saw Koenma.
She was shocked, an obvious confused expression lit upon her
face. She began to say something, but bit it back. At last, she
opened her mouth and asked: "Who are you and why do you know my
name?"
"Misuko, don't you remember me? I'm Koenma and this is the
pendant I once gave it to you," As Koenma said that, he showed the
pendant for Misuko to see. Misuko looked at him in disbelief. Koenma
stepped forward to hug her. Koenma was acting too rashly, but he
couldn't control himself. He had missed her for such a long time...
When Koenma hugged her, he could still feel her familiar curves
and skin under her clothing. Misuko was shocked to her very core as
she really didn't know who the heck this guy was. Misuko opened her
mouth and screamed:
"Get your dirty hands off me, you hentai!" Koenma was shocked
and he let go of Misuko. Koenma could feel several pairs of eyes
boring into him behind He could almost feel the whispers of some
people. Misuko struggled out and raised her hand. One swing and she
gave Koenma a stinging slap. Misuko stormed off angrily, disgusted at
Koenma.
Koenma was still dazed but he was still reluctant to let Misuko
out of his sight. He fingered the sore spot the she had slapped him
and silently, he followed her from about 100m's distance. Why? Why
did she slap me that suddenly? Koenma's mind was in a mess now. He
couldn't think rationally right now... That shock was simply too
much. Koenma always complimented himself on keeping his cool during
difficult situations, but it had pushed him over the edge this
time...
Misuko turned her head around and saw Koenma trailing her. Just
then, a bus stopped by and Misuko got into it quickly. Koenma stood
on the pavement, staring at the bus.
Yusuke and friends watched silently behind Koenma. Yusuke
whispered to Botan asking if she knew anything about Koenma's strange
behavior.
"If I knew anything, surely I wouldn't be standing here," Botan
whispered back. Botan had lost some of her usual cheerfulness, it was
simply too melancholy to laugh at this moment. Koenma was...
heartbroken. Botan walked towards Koenma and she put a comforting arm
around him.
"Let's go over to Genkai's temple and see how she can help
you," said Botan. Koenma nodded weakly and collapsed. Just before
darkness closed over him, Koenma could see the faces of his friends
staring at him. Koenma slowly let go of his consciousness...
---------------------------------------------------------------------
When Misuko got off the bus, her heart was beating wildly and
thoughts inside her head were swirling all around. Why did that guy
seem so vaguely familiar to me? That pendant... that bloodstone
pendant, it felt like I had once worn it around my neck. The cool
sensation... The way that guy had hugged me was also very strange,
like a sense of deja-vu washing over me.
"I must be going crazy over this. Most probably because of the
school test, I have too much mental pressure on me lately." Misuko
shook her head a few times and began walking home. Misuko kept
closing her eyes for some peace of mind from the uncontrollable
thoughts raging inside her head.
Misuko had managed to walk back to her house after a bout of
dizziness.
"Mi-chan, are you all right? You look pretty pale to me..."
asked Misuko's mother, obviously worried about her condition.
"Yeah, I'm okay, okaasan. It was a hectic day and I think I
need some sleep." As Misuko said that, she walked up the stairs and
into her bedroom. She tossed her school bag on her sofa set and
stepped in for a shower. Warm water flowed down her. Misuko put her
face up for the water to gush over it. Flashes of yellow, blue and
red light began to visualize in her confused mind. She finished off
her shower and got dressed up in her favorite T-shirt and shorts. She
flopped down on her bed and began drifting off to sleep. Began
dreaming about red roses.
It was midnight. Misuko still couldn't sleep after that dream.
A strange dream where Koenma had presented her a stalk of red rose.
She lay tossing and turning in her bed, she was still thinking about
that strange guy. Even his clothes seemed bizarre to her, like some
type of Chinese-kung fu outfit; but it was his expression and the way
he looked at her... like the way one would look at his lover. That
look wasn't simply given to anybody. Misuko couldn't think about
anything but him. Just by that expression, Misuko was sure that he
wasn't any hentai who wanted to take advantage of girls.
Maybe it was just an honest mistake. That guy could have
mistaken me for someone else. A thousand possibilities raced through
her mind and she promised to herself that the next time she saw him,
she would ask him the actual story.
Strange enough, she was very sure that she would meet him again
one day. One day...
Soon, Misuko herself fell asleep with the image of Koenma in
her mind.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
[Back at Genkai's temple...]
Yusuke, Kuwabara, Genkai, Yukina, Botan and Kurama were seated
around a circle discussing what had happened today. Koenma was still
lying on a futon nearby, in a state of near coma. Hiei was nowhere to
be seen.
"I'm really worried about Koenma. I have always seen him in his
funny or comical moods, but I have never see him in this way before.
It seems that he is totally out of control this time," said Kurama in
his usual graceful demeanor, his eyebrows knitted together in a half-
frown.
"Hahahahaha.... Maybe Koenma was some type of crazed maniac
that we didn't know about?" laughed Kuwabara, just exactly at the
wrong time and everyone was staring at him, speechless.
Bang! everybody looked at Kuwabara with Botan's fist embedded
in his head.
"Koenma-sama isn't that type of person," yelled Botan. "I'm
also a girl so why hasn't he touched me before?"
"Just because you're too ugly to look at," answered Kuwabara
cheekily and stuck out his tongue.
Crash! Botan had grabbed her oar and slammed it down
Kuwabara's head again, this time with all her force. Two swollen
bumps on Kuwabara's head began to visualize.
"Stop acting immature, both of you. Botan, you know that
Kuwabara was just joking," interrupted Genkai. Botan heard that and
threw Kuwabara a dirty look.
"It seems that the girl... what's her name again?... Oh yeah!
Misuko; had some past relations with Koenma. I never knew that Koenma
once had girlfriend," said Yusuke suddenly, saying out what
everybody was thinking at the moment.
"Well, it seems that none of us know what had the girl has
done to Koenma or more probably what has Koenma done to her under
very strong influences. It never occurred to me that Koenma actually
had some girl he likes," interrupted Kuwabara sensibly this time.
Genkai raised a hand to stop the chat. Everybody stopped
talking at once to look at her. Genkai then said, "I felt a very
strong presence of a strange power somewhere in Tokyo now. It felt
like... I don't know, it felt very strange. It's a powerful force
throbbing away in the midst of the busy city. I think it has
something in connection with the mission that Koenma has given you."
"Genkai-shihan, now Koenma-sama is still unconscious and we
can't go on our mission without him. We haven't got all the details
yet. I think we will have to wait until Koenma-sama wakes up,"
suggested Botan. Suddenly, Botan's eyes grew wide. That thought had
triggered something buried in her mind.
"Wait! I think I know why Koenma-sama always looked as if I had
stabbed him every time I teased him for having so many girls falling
for him in Ningenkai. During his breaktime, he will occasionally look
around for anybody and take out a bloodstone pendant and began
staring at it," said Botan suddenly, her eyes showing excitement to
her mini-discovery.
"Hah! How would you know if Koenma looked around for anyone and
didn't see you? He must be blind then," retorted Yusuke and rolled
his eyes.
"Of course I was hiding in a corner..." Botan's face flushed a
deep shade of red as she said that and everyone rolled their eyes.
The chat continued without a hitch. At least with occasional
arguing.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The scene was foggy. Or maybe it looked more like a dream?
Koenma found himself face to face with Misuko. Misuko, he had been
dreaming and longing for her ever since that fateful day, but the
dreams began to fade more and more. Getting blurrier and blurrier
each time since he had last seen her.
This time was very clear, no obstacles or hazy scene obscuring
his view. Koenma felt himself kissing Misuko. A sudden headache took
over him and before his eyes, Misuko was slowly fading away. Just
before she left, she smiled.
Koenma could feel himself waking up and he let out a groan. His
entire body ached from fatigue. Koenma looked up and saw the whole
group of friends surrounding him.
"Koenma, can you tell us what had actually happened? Tell us
and we could help you to solve your problem," asked Yusuke gently.
Koenma could feel himself nodding in response.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
As Koenma finished his story, he burst into tears and buried
his face into his hands. Botan also wept and apologized to Koenma for
ever teasing him about girls. Koenma looked so broken that nothing
could seem to mend him.
"We'll help you to find Misuko again," assured Kuwabara.
"One question, Koenma-sama," said Genkai, looking straight into
Koenma's eyes.
"Yeah?" said Koenma, at last regaining his composure.
"You are in charge of the spirits in Reikai, so I think you
might have overlooked this important rule," said Genkai.
"What important rule?" asked Yusuke, interrupting from the
side.
"The rule is that once the person is reincarnated, memories of
the past life must be cleansed away. I am sure there's someone
special to do that," said Genkai, explaining the part she thought
that Koenma might have missed.
"Oh... I forgot... Genkai, you are right. I overlooked it,"
said Koenma sheepishly. Everybody else in the room face-faulted.
Clink! Clink! The metallic sound of Yukina's tears dropping
to the floor caught everybody's attention.
"Why, Yukina? Why are you crying?" asked Kuwabara, holding
Yukina's small hand.
"Koenma-sama also suffered the same fate as I have. Until now,
I still can't find my brother. Where is my brother?" Yukina said
sadly. Yukina also looked the same as Koenma. That heart broken
expression...
Clink! Clink! More tears that had formed into pearls dropped
on the floor. Kuwabara consoled her and promised her that he would
help her find her brother.
The rest just looked at them, speechless.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
The meeting was long over. Yusuke and his friends had gone for
their rest. Even Genkai went to her room to meditate.
Botan was feeling very uneasy. She hadn't mistaken that look on
Yukina and Koenma-sama's faces when they thought of their loved ones.
Botan herself never had any relatives so Koenma-sama and her friends
were the closest she ever had to a relative. Tonight, she learnt that
losing someone you loved was painful, perhaps even more painful than
Death itself.
She heaved a sigh and pulled open the sliding door. She slipped
into her slippers and went out to have a stroll in Genkai's garden.
Today, there seemed to be a lot of things on her mind, making her
anxious and jittery. She unconsciously shivered a little and wrapped
her arms around her slender body frame.
Genkai's garden in the temple was very beautiful. Most probably
almost the same as Reikai's imperial garden. Genkai really had green
thumbs, for managing such a beautiful garden with so many varieties
of flowers. Botan walked around and stopped beneath a tree. Under the
tree, there was a garden bench. Botan stooped and dusted it. Then she
sat on it and breathed in the cool relaxing midnight air. The
fragrant flowers were blooming full tonight but Botan's heart simply
wasn't there to enjoy it. She twirled the back of her ponytail
absent-mindedly and shook her head.
Botan was thinking about what had happened today. The more she
thought about Koenma-sama and Yukina, the more she was worried about
them. Yukina was there crying tears everyday, meanwhile Koenma-sama
was on the verge of going insane. Both of them had lost their loved
ones.
Consequences, consequences, they were very dangerous.
"How could Hiei be so cold-hearted to let his own sister suffer
in silence? Yukina's only consolation was Kuwabara, her now formal
boyfriend." A wry smile touched her face as she thought of that.
"Thank god that Kuwabara doesn't know about this or he would
practically rip Hiei into pieces. First, he will start with Hiei's
limbs, and then proceed to his head..." Botan stopped that thought
immediately as the gory scene filled her head. Hiei and Kuwabara were
always bickering non-stop and Kuwabara's reaction upon knowing his
darling Yukina-san's relation with Hiei wouldn't be nice.
"Maybe he has reasons?" Botan thought of that but she quickly
pushed it off. Reasons weren't the excuse to see someone suffer in
silence. She gritted her teeth angrily. Who was he to decide how
would Yukina lead her life in the future? Yukina wanted her brother
and someone to love her, to care for her.
"I can't do anything for Koenma-sama's case but I could do
something for Yukina's problem." As Botan thought of that, she stood
up and dusted her kimono. She raised her hand and an oar materialized
out of the thin air. She threw it into the air and watched it
float. She didn't want to use that whistle again because it would
cause unnecessary attention. She stood there in the night, wondering
what to do next.
You know that Hiei will not listen to you, girl. You know his
character! He will not listen to anyone if he has made up his mind.
He might even char you to a piece of charcoal, a soft voice
whispered in her head but she shoved that thought away quickly. She
had to try somehow or watch her friend bearing such pain in her
heart, even though she might end up as a small black piece of carbon
lying on the stone pavement by midnight.
"Well, I would have to search the treetops one by one."
Treetops... On an impulse, Botan looked up into the tree that she was
standing below and she found what she wanted --- Hiei.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
It had been a strange day, today. After being shocked from
sleep by the damned whistle, he was dragged by Urameshi and Botan to
see that baby, Koenma. What else? Koenma had fainted over some girl.
What a joke! Hiei snorted once and shook his head.
Stupid Ningens. Why were they so sentimental? Hiei could never
comprehend the way Ningens act towards each other. He always hated
the way Ningens cry and wail over such trivial problems. He sighed in
frustration and began polishing his katana with the edge of his
cloak.
Hiei was totally confused by the whole situation. Koenma had
asked them to see him, but instead he had gone down himself. It was a
waste of time. When that stupid blue head suggested they should go
over to Genkai's temple, he was very frustrated about wasting his
precious time like this. He just leaped and went to Genkai's temple
by himself. It was better than following them, those snails. At least
he could reach Genkai's temple within 1 minute while they took two
hours.
"That Botan! She is always annoying me with her baka ideas. She
nearly burst my eardrums using that whistle. And that was the second
time..." thought Hiei angrily and clenched his fists, forming a
mental image of that ferry-girl being eaten up by his black dragon.
Hiei smiled sadistically as he imagined Botan's irritating high-
pitched voice screaming for help. Her voice... Her voice... Maybe I
have grown used to it... All of a sudden, he felt a fluster in his
heart and his face felt hot, even he was a fire youkai. His grid
around the ebony handle of his sword tightened, he couldn't believe
that he was actually feeling emotions like this.
"She was actually quite beautiful, wasn't she?" A little voice
spoke at the back of his head. "Stop it!" Hiei commanded himself and
squeezed his eyes shut, trying in vain to disperse that image of the
giggling face. But then again, he wasn't even sure of his feelings.
"You like her, don't you..." That voice told him again. The
voice nagged at him again and again. Poor Hiei simply couldn't get
the head or tail of it. Then, the sound of footsteps drifted over. It
caught his attention and Hiei lifted his head to see who it was. A
figure dressed in a kimono and sandals walked up.
It was Botan, that stupid ferry-girl from Reikai.
Hiei debated whether to leave or stay. The footsteps were
drawing nearer. Hiei couldn't escape now, so he just crouched there,
on the top of the tree. You also want to peep on her, don't you?
whispered that voice again but Hiei counter-reacted by throwing it a
mental growl.
She stopped coincidentally, below his tree. She was there,
talking to herself. Hiei didn't like eavesdropping on other people,
but it was simply too tempting, so Hiei listened intently. He was
simply surprised that he heard his own name there.
Why in three worlds would she think about him? Hiei gave a
mental shrug and prepared to flit off in the darkness, but he was too
tempted to see where would Botan go after this. Slowly, he crouched
down again behind the branches, narrowing his crimson eyes at the
slender figure.
At last, Botan got up and dusted herself. She looked around and
then glanced straight up the tree. Hiei knew that he had been seen,
so in a whirl of black wind, he stood before Botan.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"Hiei..." she began. Hiei just looked at her and sat down cross
legged on the stone bench. He looked just right at home with his
usual serious expression. Botan also followed suit and she walked
over to sit on the stone bench.
"Hiei... I think you would have to be ready to sit here for a
few minutes because I have something to tell you," ventured Botan.
Hiei sighed and nodded in agreement.
"Well, I think you saw Koenma-sama's reaction today. Do you
know that Yukina-chan also feels the same way?" said Botan
cautiously, but Hiei just kept quiet, with no obvious reaction.
"Please, Hiei. I'm sure you won't want to see your sister in
torture, right? Although I know that you may have your problems, but
you still would have to give Yukina-chan some type of explanation,"
said Botan, this time more boldly, her pink eyes looking straight
into Hiei's ruby-red ones.
"Look, woman. My personal affairs don't need you poking around.
I know what to do and not to do so just shut up!" shot back Hiei, his
eyes lighting up with frustration. He had his own reasons and he
didn't need someone else like Botan to nose into his life!
"But... Hiei, think again. Yukina-chan is really in a very
pathetic state, especially this evening. Every second of her life,
she is yearning for her lost brother," tried Botan again.
Hiei looked away, turning a deaf ear towards Botan's pleas.
"Hiei, if you don't admit your real identity towards her at
once, you are a gutless person!" yelled Botan, her eyes sparkling
with fury.
"Shut up!" growled Hiei menacingly. He looked quite angry and
black flame began to erupt from his fist.
"Do what you want to me. I don't care more or less, I just feel
sorry for Yukina-chan to have a jerk for a brother..." As she said
that, she closed her eyes, waiting for the searing pain of Hiei's
demonic fire burning her body away.
Botan braced herself internally. That baka... I won't give in
so easily. Seconds ticked by, it never came. Five minutes passed,
Botan cautiously opened one eye and then another. She looked down at
herself and found that she was still intact. She looked up at Hiei.
There were no more flames or any energy radiating from Hiei anyway;
besides, he looked calm.
Too calm to be true.
"Hiei..." she said more gently this time. "Do you want me to
talk to Yukina-chan about this?"
"No! I'll talk to her personally," answered Hiei. Then, his
voice lowered to a softer tone. "Thank you, for making me realize
things that I have not been able to face myself in the past." He
finished that sentence; a gust of wind blew on her face and he was
gone. Botan lifted her head to look at the star-lit sky and kept her
fingers crossed.
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Hiei stood there as Botan tried to talk sense into him. He was
still confused about his feelings on Yukina and ...Botan. Yukina was
his sister, the only relative in this world he had. It hurt him to
see Yukina in pain. He knew that Yukina was crying her tears of grief
everyday, but he couldn't do anything about it. Who would want a
robber, a thief and a criminal under probation of Reikai for a
brother? When Botan said about Yukina and him having a heart of
steel; he had to face the reality set before him.
He sighed unhappily. Why must he hide from the truth of not
telling his real identity? That nightmare still terrified him every
single second he saw Yukina with his own eyes. It was so real, that
dream, that he could even hear Yukina screaming in agony. Hiei closed
his eyes, trying to disperse that bloody scene in his head. It didn't
disappear, instead, it began to intensify...
Evil youkais chasing Yukina... He, himself suffering for
serious wounds... Yukina was caught and brought before him... He was
lying on the ground, his eyes only had Yukina's image... One of the
youkais pulled out his katana from his limp body... Pierced it
through Yukina's body as a cruel form of torture for him... Yukina's
scream echoed around him as he watched Yukina's form slumped down...
His eyes snapped open and his fingers encircled his katana
protectively. It happened again. And again. And again.
It was too horrifying, even for him.
His heart ached every time when Yukina addressed him 'Hiei-san'
instead of the traditional 'niisan'. Very often, he had wished that
Yukina would call him 'niichan', or at least a simple word -
'brother'. He yearned for her attention and he couldn't help feeling
pangs of jealousy when Kuwabara clung to his Yukina-san
affectionately.
It's only a dream, Hiei.
You are just having a hallucination, Hiei.
You have wild imagination, Hiei.
Reasons, reasons.
He should tell her sooner or later. Besides, he was just having
a nightmare, right? Again and again, he assured himself that
everything would be all right. Everything would be all right.
Slowly, that image of Yukina's death slowly disappear from
his focus, but he saw someone standing with her eyes closed in front
of him. Botan.
Botan was always so irritating. She should have died for saying
such things to the famed "Forbidden Child". Just as he was going to
teach her a lesson, his conscience overwhelmed him. Although Botan
was being a busybody, but after all, she was just trying to do
something good, right? She deserved to die, but Hiei just couldn't
bring himself to kill her. Besides, he didn't want to get into
trouble with all that hanky-panky stuff at Reikai.
At last, Hiei let go of his fury and replaced it with calmness,
besides Yukina needed an explanation. After saying that unHiei-ish
speech, he suddenly felt embarrassed and he flew off. He needed
someplace to think of a way to tell Yukina.
Why did he felt embarrassed in the first place? There was
simply no explanation.
Hiei flew to a deserted place in the magnificent garden and sat
down. Slowly, he began to think. Thinking was a slow process to him,
for he had never took any chance to quietly ponder. Maybe he had the
perception that thinking about useless thing was a total waste of
time.
It was time to recollect pieces of his life. He had been born
into a community of koorime. When he was born, he was thrown into a
river and left to survive on his own. He had to fend for himself.
Hiei reached up to feel his Jagan underneath his head-band. His Jagan
was specially implanted to search for his sister.
Now, he knew where his sister was. After some consideration, he
decided to tell Yukina the truth; after all, Yukina might be happy to
know he was her brother. What if she wasn't able to accept him? Hiei
really couldn't imagine if he were to be turned down like that. Most
probably tears wouldn't be available too.
Too much grief, too little tears.
But one question mark still bugged him: Why did Botan want to
risk her life just to advise him on that? Botan really has good
intentions or maybe... she liked him.
"Nah! Not everybody had twisted thinking as you do." Hiei
chided himself, but he was still curious to know whether Botan really
saw him as a jerk. Just a tiny bit of curiosity, right? In reality,
he was so confused about his feelings. He sat down and placed his
katana with a soft thud on the stone pavement.
Life was almost too difficult for him to bear. Almost.
He wanted someone to care for him, someone to love him. At
least someone to lend a listening ear to his problems. In the past,
he felt that everyone was wearing a mask facing him, lying to him.
After all, he just wanted someone for support, nothing else.
Would Botan be the answer?
In the distance, he saw a room still lit with an oil-lamp and
he assumed that it was Botan's room.
In a second, Hiei reached that room. Sure enough, he heard
Botan singing to herself. Hiei put an ear close to the wall to listen
to Botan.
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Botan heaved a sigh of relief. That encounter was close enough.
With a slight exertion of Hiei's youki, he might as well had charred
her to the moon. She considered herself lucky enough to survive. She
was very tired today. After being woken up to by George to send
Yusuke a message early this morning, then after that, Koenma's
incident and now, Hiei. She felt as if she had just ferried 100
spirits in a day. Even her head was throbbing with a painful ache.
Botan folded her arms and began to walk back to her room, in
Genkai's temple. In fact, the surroundings were very serene and
beautiful. When she walked in the interior of her room, she took off
her sandals and began undressing. With a flick of her wrist, she
simply threw her clothes aside, leaving only her flimsy slip on. As a
habit, she would sing her favorite BSB tune. She sat on her futon and
began talking to herself aimlessly as she massaged her laps and
knees.
"Do I really love Hiei?" she asked herself. "He's cute, he's
rude, he's exiting, he's..." she chanted a string of praises for
Hiei. "Although he is quite stubborn, but with the power of love, I'm
sure that he will be moved one day." As she said that, she walked
over to the lamp and extinguished the flame. The whole room plunged
into darkness. Botan smiled to herself in the darkness. Hiei
definitely was the model guy she was looking for.
Nah, forget about getting Hiei to like you. The both of you
have too much differences. Besides, when is the last time you have a
decent conversation with that vulgar fire youkai? Consider yourself
having a daydream, whispered a voice and nudged her mentally. Botan
sighed again and shook her head slowly.
Too often, she had wild fantasies about herself with quite a
number of guys she found attractive. Yusuke... Kurama... And now?
Hiei, that fire youkai.
Just as Botan was tucking herself in bed, a gush of cold night
wind rushed into the room. Botan looked at the open window and saw a
figure standing on the windowsill. "Who is it?" half-screamed Botan
and pulled the blanket around her more protectively as she shivered
uneasily.
Hiei ignored her and jumped. The next second, he was standing
beside Botan. He threw off his cloak easily and crouched next to
Botan, placing his katana on the wooden floor boards with a dull
thud. Slowly, he reached out a hand and took Botan by her right
shoulder, holding her up to face him.
"Hiei! What are you doing?" screeched Botan but Hiei quickly
clamped an empty hand over her mouth. She struggled, but Hiei looked
at her intently, instantly silencing her.
"Botan, is what you just said true?" As Botan heard that, her
face flushed a deep shade of red. Botan didn't expect someone to be
eavesdropping outside when she said that. For once, she was so
thankful that there wasn't a moon in the sky or her red cheeks would
be very obvious to him. Slowly, Hiei withdrew his hand and Botan
panted a little, still blushing fierily.
At last, she gathered all her courage and spoke to him. "Hiei,
please be honest with me. Did you ever like me before?"
Hiei thought for a moment; then, he replied: "Well, sometimes
you're irritating but I... I have found you attractive." On an
impulse, Hiei put an arm around Botan and felt her soft delicate skin
as he fingered it.
Botan shuddered at that touch. She had never been touched by a
male, especially her bare skin. Hiei's voice lowered into an even
softer tone so that it almost sounded like a whisper. "From now
onwards, I'll like you forever..."
Hiei climbed into the place on the futon next to her. Botan
could feel his warm body and he hugged her. Hiei bent down and gave
Botan a rough kiss on her lips and she could feel herself eventually
returning it.
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A male voice in the utter darkness suddenly sounded. "Botan,
can you keep our relationship a secret?"
"Why?" a female voice answered.
"Because I don't want that bastard Kuwabara and the rest
laughing their heads off."
"Well, I don't think that they will be that mean..."
"Botan, promise me. You know that jerk Kuwabara always finds
fault with me."
"Alright, as you wish." A long silence followed.
The male voice broke the silence again. "Botan, have you even
wondered why I didn't want to tell Yukina the truth?"
"Actually, I still couldn't get the head or tail of it, Hiei."
"I'm the Forbidden Child and nearly everybody in Makai wants my
life. If they knew Yukina is my sister, they would kidnap her in
exchange for me. This is why I want our things to be kept secret too.
But now, I am now finally reaching S-class and I think I'll tell
Yukina the truth."
The male voice asked again, "Do you regret being together with
me tonight?"
"No, I won't regret it and Hiei, I'm proud of you for being
able to tell Yukina the truth."
Again, only shallow breathing echoed in the room before another
question shattered the serene quietness. "Hiei, do you love me?"
No answer, only a low growl.
Gradually, silence set in again.
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Copyright reserved 1998, 1999 W. Siew Lee
All standard Yu Yu Hakusho disclaimers apply to this fanfic.
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