Title: I Will Find You
Summary: PiperLeo. Leo goes to war as a doctor and meets Piper there who is a nurse. Leo falls in love instantly but has to choose between Piper and his wife. Think about how Piper had to choose between Leo and Dan.
Disclaimer: Don't own Piper, Leo or his wife. I own the rain, mud and the doctors that are at the funeral. This is a sad, sad chapter.
Chapter 8: Tomorrow is Another Day
---------------
Leo's POV
I'm standing here in the rain. Because it's still early in the war the Colonel let me have a private funeral. Reg, some other doctors and nurses who knew her are here with me. One of them is a reverend as well as a doctor and is holding the ceremony. He is reciting psalms from his personal bible but I can't hear him.
I can't hear the rat-tat-tat of the machine guns over the hill. I can't hear the whine of descending shells. I can't hear the explosions from six hundred feet away. I can't hear the screams of soldiers or feel their pain as I usually can. I can't feel my own pain, even when I awoke from unconsciousness I couldn't feel it although I could see that blood seeping through the gauze.
No, now I'm in my own world. A silent world filled with pain, not physical pain but mental pain, emotional pain. There is no here and now, there is no time and place, there is no present and past, there is only Piper and my love for each other and the fact that she's gone. The fact that I had no chance to really make her feel loved, to help her heal in more ways than one. No, there was none of that. Just skipped to the grief.
A hundred years could pass and I still would be standing here, in my own mental rain. With no-one around me, with the sun shining down on me. With the hills turned from mud to green. With the graves of so many people around me, doctors and soldiers from both sides. But I would still be here. In the same spot. Not having moved a muscle.
I don't care that I have a wife anymore. If God had meant me not to stray he wouldn't have introduced Piper into my life. True love. That seldom comes along but I felt it for Piper. Even after she has...passed. I can still feel her love for me and mine for her, I know that this will never leave. Our love is immortal, somehow I could feel this and I knew that no matter what happened nothing could change this. Nothing.
I felt as if tomorrow would never come, something my father used to always say was that if I was ever feeling down I should remember that tomorrow is another day. Right now it felt as if there would be no day after this one, the pain and sacrifice I'd gone through would keep repeating itself over and over again.
My thoughts are all about her. They will never stray from her. I might move from this spot physically but I will never move mentally. After I have died I will return here and re-shed my tears which run so freely now. Because I know that this pain will never heal. Piper and I will never be together again. I will never kiss her lips again. I will never touch her silky soft skin again. I will never run my hands through her hair again.
I feel someone's hand on my shoulder and, reluctantly, return to the present world. Or real world whatever you want to call it. Reg has his hand on my shoulder, everyone else has left. He has one piece of advice for me,
"Don't keep it in, let your grief out." He bites his lip and walks away. I'm left standing in the rain and mud. I decide to take this advice and I kneel next to Piper's grave. I cry and my tears mix with the rain pouring down my face. My hair is being matted by the rain and is being plastered down instead of being generally spiky. I lift my face to the sky and feel the rain fall on my face, cleansing me. I close my eyes and let the rain run down my face, neck, body and let it stain my clothes.
I'm drenched in seconds and I suddenly feel angry. With myself, with the stranger who told me to tell her I loved her, with Reg, with anyone but her. If that stranger hadn't told me to love her I wouldn't get as hurt. 'But you wouldn't have been as happy either.' A voice in my head retaliates. I have to agree.
I open my eyes to the sky and I know what I have to do. What I must do, for some reason it is the only thing that I will live for now. I have a goal in life now. Not the sanest one but it is a goal and I know I will spend the rest of my life striving towards it. Not that you can do that. My thoughts were mixed and blurred as if the rain had made them run like water paint.
I decided to take Reg's advice again, but now verbally. I didn't know what I was doing but as I knelt there in the rain shivering involuntarily I yelled out something that will always stick in my mind no matter how old I get,
"I will find you! I will find you Piper! In this life or the next, I swear to God that I will find you!" I sat back on my heels and bowed my head, tired after the outburst and began to cry again. It was becoming a ritual for me to cry and it felt as if the tears would never stop, my tears were unlimited. It felt as if I would sit there for the rest of my life, crying.
I looked back at the sky, still sitting on my heels and felt as if she was watching me. I dragged in my tears and managed to build a dam to stop the flood of tears. I looked up and felt as if the sun was shining on me even thought it was raining. I heard Piper's voice. At first I thought I'd gone crazy but as I listened I recognised her and opened my mind to her.
"Leo, please. Don't grieve, service the soldiers. Help them like you wanted to help your father." I closed my eyes again and basked in the warmth of what I recognised as her love. Even if I had gone crazy I knew that this was right. Even if she hadn't talked to me from the heavens I knew that this is what she would've wanted and what I would've wanted too. I sent my thanks to whoever had sent to message and got back onto my feet, swaying like a new born lamb but finding my feet again I stood resolutely.
I cast one last look towards the sky and thanked her or him or them once again for giving me a meaning for life. More than just to find Piper again but to help those who needed help, to sacrifice myself for countless others. To live and love, or at least like, doing it. To have the power not to walk right into the gunfire just to get to Piper. To give life my best shot. And so on.
I wiped all the tears from my face and I walked back towards the camp. After all tomorrow is another day.
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AN: Last chapter I might add an after word though. Explain some more stuff about how this fits in and everything although I've done quite a bit of that in there little thingy's down here. Oh well. This story's ended so quickly, unlike my Guess Who's Back which went on for 13 chapters but they were shorter so I guess it's fair. Now I know this chapter isn't my longest but it isn't my shortest either so don't chuck tomatoes at me. It's over 1,000 words so be happy, it's 1,211 with only the actual story text. That's a lot of words, most essays have to be that long. My longest has been chapter 7 which has 1,650 words of actual story (not including the summary and title and disclaimer and stuff). This is a very long fare well and I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed but I don't have enough space right now so I'll mention everyone in the after word, promise!
Luv,
P3
Summary: PiperLeo. Leo goes to war as a doctor and meets Piper there who is a nurse. Leo falls in love instantly but has to choose between Piper and his wife. Think about how Piper had to choose between Leo and Dan.
Disclaimer: Don't own Piper, Leo or his wife. I own the rain, mud and the doctors that are at the funeral. This is a sad, sad chapter.
Chapter 8: Tomorrow is Another Day
---------------
Leo's POV
I'm standing here in the rain. Because it's still early in the war the Colonel let me have a private funeral. Reg, some other doctors and nurses who knew her are here with me. One of them is a reverend as well as a doctor and is holding the ceremony. He is reciting psalms from his personal bible but I can't hear him.
I can't hear the rat-tat-tat of the machine guns over the hill. I can't hear the whine of descending shells. I can't hear the explosions from six hundred feet away. I can't hear the screams of soldiers or feel their pain as I usually can. I can't feel my own pain, even when I awoke from unconsciousness I couldn't feel it although I could see that blood seeping through the gauze.
No, now I'm in my own world. A silent world filled with pain, not physical pain but mental pain, emotional pain. There is no here and now, there is no time and place, there is no present and past, there is only Piper and my love for each other and the fact that she's gone. The fact that I had no chance to really make her feel loved, to help her heal in more ways than one. No, there was none of that. Just skipped to the grief.
A hundred years could pass and I still would be standing here, in my own mental rain. With no-one around me, with the sun shining down on me. With the hills turned from mud to green. With the graves of so many people around me, doctors and soldiers from both sides. But I would still be here. In the same spot. Not having moved a muscle.
I don't care that I have a wife anymore. If God had meant me not to stray he wouldn't have introduced Piper into my life. True love. That seldom comes along but I felt it for Piper. Even after she has...passed. I can still feel her love for me and mine for her, I know that this will never leave. Our love is immortal, somehow I could feel this and I knew that no matter what happened nothing could change this. Nothing.
I felt as if tomorrow would never come, something my father used to always say was that if I was ever feeling down I should remember that tomorrow is another day. Right now it felt as if there would be no day after this one, the pain and sacrifice I'd gone through would keep repeating itself over and over again.
My thoughts are all about her. They will never stray from her. I might move from this spot physically but I will never move mentally. After I have died I will return here and re-shed my tears which run so freely now. Because I know that this pain will never heal. Piper and I will never be together again. I will never kiss her lips again. I will never touch her silky soft skin again. I will never run my hands through her hair again.
I feel someone's hand on my shoulder and, reluctantly, return to the present world. Or real world whatever you want to call it. Reg has his hand on my shoulder, everyone else has left. He has one piece of advice for me,
"Don't keep it in, let your grief out." He bites his lip and walks away. I'm left standing in the rain and mud. I decide to take this advice and I kneel next to Piper's grave. I cry and my tears mix with the rain pouring down my face. My hair is being matted by the rain and is being plastered down instead of being generally spiky. I lift my face to the sky and feel the rain fall on my face, cleansing me. I close my eyes and let the rain run down my face, neck, body and let it stain my clothes.
I'm drenched in seconds and I suddenly feel angry. With myself, with the stranger who told me to tell her I loved her, with Reg, with anyone but her. If that stranger hadn't told me to love her I wouldn't get as hurt. 'But you wouldn't have been as happy either.' A voice in my head retaliates. I have to agree.
I open my eyes to the sky and I know what I have to do. What I must do, for some reason it is the only thing that I will live for now. I have a goal in life now. Not the sanest one but it is a goal and I know I will spend the rest of my life striving towards it. Not that you can do that. My thoughts were mixed and blurred as if the rain had made them run like water paint.
I decided to take Reg's advice again, but now verbally. I didn't know what I was doing but as I knelt there in the rain shivering involuntarily I yelled out something that will always stick in my mind no matter how old I get,
"I will find you! I will find you Piper! In this life or the next, I swear to God that I will find you!" I sat back on my heels and bowed my head, tired after the outburst and began to cry again. It was becoming a ritual for me to cry and it felt as if the tears would never stop, my tears were unlimited. It felt as if I would sit there for the rest of my life, crying.
I looked back at the sky, still sitting on my heels and felt as if she was watching me. I dragged in my tears and managed to build a dam to stop the flood of tears. I looked up and felt as if the sun was shining on me even thought it was raining. I heard Piper's voice. At first I thought I'd gone crazy but as I listened I recognised her and opened my mind to her.
"Leo, please. Don't grieve, service the soldiers. Help them like you wanted to help your father." I closed my eyes again and basked in the warmth of what I recognised as her love. Even if I had gone crazy I knew that this was right. Even if she hadn't talked to me from the heavens I knew that this is what she would've wanted and what I would've wanted too. I sent my thanks to whoever had sent to message and got back onto my feet, swaying like a new born lamb but finding my feet again I stood resolutely.
I cast one last look towards the sky and thanked her or him or them once again for giving me a meaning for life. More than just to find Piper again but to help those who needed help, to sacrifice myself for countless others. To live and love, or at least like, doing it. To have the power not to walk right into the gunfire just to get to Piper. To give life my best shot. And so on.
I wiped all the tears from my face and I walked back towards the camp. After all tomorrow is another day.
---------------
AN: Last chapter I might add an after word though. Explain some more stuff about how this fits in and everything although I've done quite a bit of that in there little thingy's down here. Oh well. This story's ended so quickly, unlike my Guess Who's Back which went on for 13 chapters but they were shorter so I guess it's fair. Now I know this chapter isn't my longest but it isn't my shortest either so don't chuck tomatoes at me. It's over 1,000 words so be happy, it's 1,211 with only the actual story text. That's a lot of words, most essays have to be that long. My longest has been chapter 7 which has 1,650 words of actual story (not including the summary and title and disclaimer and stuff). This is a very long fare well and I'd just like to thank everyone who reviewed but I don't have enough space right now so I'll mention everyone in the after word, promise!
Luv,
P3