Legolas Greenleaf, Agent of MESS, in

You Only Live Forever

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Disclaimer: This is a work of fanfiction, which is why I am posting it on this site. Legolas and associated characters were created by JRR Tolkien. James Bond was created by Ian Fleming. Legolas' appearance belongs to Orlando Bloom in a wig.

Author's Notes: The song "Underneath the Mango Tree", which I have adapted in this chapter, comes from the film of Dr. No, not the book. I just couldn't resist. I even managed a cliffhanger at the end!

Review replies:

theinklesspen: thanks! I can just see Gimli in a skimpy little dress, can't you?

Nemo Returning: now that's an interesting idea...what do orcs have under their fingernails? Bits of food, bits of skin...I'm going no further.

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Chapter 3. Stars Don't Shine In Caves

It was dusk when the 'Hunters' returned to the small cave that hid the secret entrance to the Mines. The moon had waned further than the previous night and occasionally became obscured by small wisps of cloud, making the night darker. They were all wary as they made their way through the trees, watching both the area around them as well as the ground beneath their feet. Having already found one trap –which the orcs had presumably set for animals for food- they were extra cautious about walking into any more. The trees made odd shadows that moved and jumped in a most animalistic way. The cave was inconspicuous among the rocks, but Gimli found it instantly.

"I'll go first," he whispered, "and you follow. Mind your head as you go. Don't want you knocking yourselves silly because of those great gangling legs of yours, do we?"

"We know," Greenleaf answered, hiding his annoyance at the Dwarf's taking charge. He had to accept it; Gimli was the expert when it came to caves that his own kind had dug. Why anyone would want a great hole in the ground was beyond Greenleaf. "Let's get on with it," he said.

Gimli grunted and vanished into the cave. Greenleaf followed suit, and was shortly in what seemed to be complete darkness. Abandoning the idea of seeing his way, which he knew he would have to, he instead concentrated on listening. Gimli was before him, huffing and puffing slightly as he made his way across the uneven ground. Aragorn was behind; Greenleaf could hear the rustle of his leathers and the faint jingle of his scabbard. Both Man and Elf were forced to walk in a hunched, bent fashion, with one hand above their heads to avoid knocking them on the ceiling, which was at Dwarf height.

"Careful," Gimli said after a while, "it gets much lower here. You'll have to crawl."

And crawl they did, on hands and knees. Greenleaf was carefully aware of the bow and quiver strapped to his back, making sure he crawled low enough to avoid scraping them. He was glad it was dark. They must have made a pretty sight: Dwarf, Elf and Man, nose to arse in parade. He hoped he wouldn't catch anything from the Dwarf. Crawling along this close behind couldn't be healthy. Not that he believed all the tales he was told as an Elfling. He knew that you wouldn't start growing hair on your body if a Dwarf so much as looked at you, or that touching a Dwarf stunted your growth. Greenleaf had grown too old for such superstitions, but ingrained attitudes were hard to break. He saw no reason for changing them now; as far as he had seen Dwarves were as bad as he had been told.

Finally, a faint light appeared in the tunnel ahead of them. Gimli stopped just short of the end, allowing the other two to gather behind him.

"This is where we split," he whispered. "Aragorn, you're going right and up. Elf, your way is straight ahead."

"Let's go," Greenleaf said, ignoring the implied insult. They all slipped out of the hole and went their separate ways.

Greenleaf ran along his corridor until he had the cover of shadows. The splitting up had been pre-arranged; the best method for searching the Mines efficiently. Aragorn was taking the higher level, Greenleaf the middle, and Gimli the lower. There were of course more levels, but not all of them would be occupied, unless the orc infestation was far worse than they thought. The Mines themselves were huge; an incredible work for such a small race of people. The Elf resisted the urge to shudder as he thought about just how much rock was above his head. He had a job to do, and he'd be damned if a Dwarf was to best him at it. He headed on.

Before turning the corner when he reached it, Greenleaf peered round it first, and his caution was immediately rewarded. A pair of orcs was walking towards him, talking to each other. Greenleaf hauled himself up the wall a little way to where a lump of rock formed a small ledge. He sat on it, drawing his knees up to his chest and tucking his cloak around him. The orcs walked past below, never even looking upwards. They passed on, continuing along the corridor and grunting occasionally. Greenleaf waited until they were mostly out of sight before leaping down. They were probably two of the guards, he reasoned. He needed to get further into the area that the orcs inhabited. The information he was after was more likely to be there. He hurried on, checking around each corner before rounding it. The Mines were very dark, though occasional torches were bracketed to the walls to provide light.

The light grew brighter as he reached the more populated area of the Mines. Not much brighter, being that orcs were used to the darkness, but there were more torches and more noise. Greenleaf could hear orcs talking, though they spoke in the Black tongue of Mordor. They sounded fairly rowdy, and Greenleaf soon knew the reason why. An orc staggered down the corridor, straight into the Elf as he peered round the corner. Looking somewhat startled, the orc knocked Greenleaf back, the expression on its face changing to what could only be described as a leer. Greenleaf could smell and almost taste the alcohol that rolled off the creature in waves.

"Hello, Elf," it muttered drunkenly, "what're you doin' here?" It chuckled, its breath washing out of its foul mouth.

Greenleaf frowned, eyes narrowing. He couldn't be discovered! He stuck out his first two fingers, pressing them fast into the orc's neck under its armour. It slumped instantly. Greenleaf caught it and dragged it into a corner, out of sight. Hopefully when it woke –which would be some time yet- it would either have forgotten its encounter with the Elf or be too late to do anything about. It probably wouldn't be missed; its companions were probably in an equal state of inebriation. But Greenleaf had been lucky, and he knew it. He would have to be even more careful, particularly around the crowded areas. He pulled up his hood, tucking his hair under it to hide it. Obviously he couldn't pass as an orc, but such a measure would keep him concealed in the shadows. He moved on silently, heading for where the most noise was coming from.

A large group of orcs was in one of the rooms off the corridor, all singing raucously. Greenleaf winced as they massacred one of the popular songs everyone knew so well.

"Underneath the hanging tree, my love and I, we fight all day," the bellowed. He shuddered and passed on. He wouldn't find anything there.

The corridor opened up almost immediately into a huge hall, many lengths long. Huge archways rose and fell along it, vanishing into the shadows of the ceiling, Slipping into the shadow by the door, Greenleaf took a few moments to examine it. The stonework was magnificent, carefully crafted over what must have been many years. It was impossible to see how far the hall extended, either sideways or upwards. A line of torches, one to each column, marked the way through. Greenleaf wondered why such short people as Dwarves felt they needed such huge dwellings. As far as he was concerned, it was their greed that had motivated them to do so, and in all that they did. He knew the stories about the Dwarves in Moria, and how they had delved too deep. That was probably the reason why it was full of orcs now.

Greenleaf crept down the hall, keeping for the most part away from the torchlight. He didn't want stray completely out of it, as walking in absolute darkness was an invitation to fall into an unseen hole or similar. But he kept his eyes checking all around, always alert for any orc anywhere near him. He made it to the other end without incident, but had to dart to the side as three orcs came through the door. They walked past, impervious to the Elf's presence. He watched them go and as soon as they had he continued through the doorway, into the next hall. It was smaller than the other, though still wonderful in its craft. He traversed it at speed, stopping just before the end.

Above him, light showed through a wide, shallow opening. Orcish voices could be heard from there. Greenleaf studied the ornate carvings on the wall for a moment –raising his eyebrows at some; there obviously were such things as female Dwarves. Then, grasping the rocky protuberances, he began the climb up. Though the foot and finger holds were small, Greenleaf found it fairly easy going, reaching the opening after only a few minutes. He looked in, careful to stay out of sight of any inside. A group of orcs, of the type commonly known in this area as goblins, were sat around in a circle. A small fire flickered in a corner. The orcs were playing a card game with grubby, much-used cards.

"Have you got any fives?" one asked, scratching his belly.

"Go hunt," another replied. The first scowled and reached for the pile in the middle.

There was silence for a moment, broken only by the chink as a bottle was set down, empty. An orc grunted, thumbing through its cards morosely.

"How much longer have we got to sit around here?" it complained.

"Until we get hold of 'it', you know that," the one next to him answered, "go and volunteer to be in the next patrol if you want. Get yourself killed by an Elf and give us all a break."

"Shut up," the one addressed said, "you know we don't even get considered for that."

"That might change soon," another commented, chewing its finger, "they ain't going to keep throwing away the big ones like that." It looked at its cards. "Got any Queens?"

Greenleaf began climbing back down again. He wouldn't hear much here that he hadn't heard the night before. To get more detailed information he would have to find some of the Uruk Hai; the crossbreed orcs bred specially for battle. There had to be some here, as it had been a patrol of them that had attacked Lothlórien. Also, the orcs had referred to the Uruk Hai in their conversations, usually in disparaging terms. That information was worth remembering for later. Greenleaf reached the ground and continued on his way, keeping his goal in mind. But the Uruk Hai seemed to be nowhere around.

He kept to the main corridor that he was on. It went mainly straight, with side tunnels branching off into the Mines. If he had that time, Greenleaf might have explored down some of them, though he wouldn't have gone far. No torches illuminated them, and the chances of becoming lost were high. Maybe not for a Dwarf, but Elves were not made for navigating deep, tunnel-ridden caves. Besides, anything important would be more likely to be near the main areas. With that in mind, Greenleaf went on, listening all the time for anything important or interesting. His attention bore fruit a few minutes later, when an Uruk Hai stormed angrily out of one of the side tunnels ahead of him.

"Your methods are foolish, Uglúk!" it shouted to someone behind him. Greenleaf concealed himself to listen, melting into the shadows by the wall.

"So you have said, Lugbúrz," the other, still unseen one replied, "though you have not said why." Uglúk stepped out into the corridor. He was taller than the other Uruk Hai that Greenleaf had seen, a full head above Lugbúrz. His skin gleamed darkly in the torchlight and his face was calm. At least, as calm as such creatures got.

"For starters, there're the patrols that you sent out," Lugbúrz said, holding up a finger, "all of which have been killed. And we're no closer to that ring. Second," he raised another stubby finger, "it's not going to be long before the Elves start investigating. And third," he stuck a third finger up, "the orcs are getting restless."

Uglúk looked at him for a moment, staring intently, making him twitch uneasily. The smaller Uruk Hai glanced at the floor for a second, fidgeting with his hands.

"I mean," he said, "we're going to have them all in a rebellion soon. They'll have our heads!"

Uglúk gave him another long look. "They will not 'have out heads'," he said slowly and quietly, "they are too disorganised and pose no threat. When those Elves try their hand at 'investigation' they will find us more than prepared. Elves will find no welcome here! And we will get that ring. Failure is not an option."

He turned to walk away, and Greenleaf caught a glimpse of the mark on his arm. It was a white hand. Uglúk must have been bred in the caverns under Isengard, under the watchful eye and hand of Saruman. And he seemed to be the superior of Lugbúrz, who clearly bore the red eye of Sauron on his hide, though that could have been due to the other's greater size. Greenleaf watched as Uglúk walked off. The Elf was ready to follow as Lugbúrz went to pursue the other Uruk Hai. But just then he realised that there was someone in the tunnel behind him, and that he had been seen. Giving no indication that he realised the fact, Greenleaf reached slowly for his knife, the movement concealed beneath his cloak. Then he pounced.

He crossed the small tunnel with his customary speed, going for his watcher. Only to find, to his surprise, himself on his back with a blade against his throat. His own knife was against the other's neck, his hand pressed against a beard. A beard, he told himself, and sighed.

"Get off me, Dwarf," he muttered, moving his knife away. The weigth on top of him lifted, as did the axe. Greenleaf got to his feet, re-sheathing his knife.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. "I thought you were checking the lower level."

"I was following an orc," Gimli explained, looking annoyed, "it had been sent to find a map of their route home. I presumed that would be a good thing, yes?"

Greenleaf was forced to agree. "So, did you find anything?" They kept their voices low, even though there were no orcs in sight.

"Not yet," Gimli replied, "I was waiting for it to leave the room. It's just off the tunnel opposite here, see?"

"I see." Greenleaf looked across to where Gimli was pointing. "Is it still in there?"

"Yes," the Dwarf said, but even as he did an orc came hurrying out of the doorway they were watching, clutching a piece of paper in its hand.

Dwarf and Elf glanced at each other but briefly, then moved to either side of the tunnel. The orc walked between them and got no further. Gimli's axe caught it in the knees while Greenleaf's hand held its mouth closed, muffling its cry of pain. As it fell, it bit the Elf's hand, but he held on grimly. His knife darted up and cut the orc's throat, killing it instantly. They dragged it from the tunnel and dumped the corpse in the corner of a small, otherwise empty room. Greenleaf picked up the paper and took it back into the corridor, where he examined it in the light. He held it low enough for Gimli to see.

It showed a route between Moria and Mordor, ending in a destination in the centre of the plateau of Gorgoroth.

"What's that?" Gimli asked, pointing to it. The light was too dim for him to read the script, but Greenleaf's keen eyes read it easily.

"Orodruin," he said, "Mount Doom. Cheerful place for Sauron to have his lair." He folded the map and pushed it inside his tunic. He looked at his hand, which bled slightly from where the orc had bitten it. "I hope you can't catch anything from orcs," he commented. "I suppose that one won't be missed. I rather think he's one of the more rebellious orcs. His friends'll probably think he got caught or something. But anyway, we ought to find Aragorn. We've got what we need now."

"There's a quicker route through these tunnels," Gimli said, "to the upper level at least. We'll have to find him though; it spreads fairly widely up there."

He headed off down the dark tunnel, sure of his way even in the blackness. Greenleaf followed wordlessly. They had worked well together just then, taking the orc down quickly and efficiently. Of course, Greenleaf could have done it himself, but, well, the Dwarf obviously had some skill in the matter. And despite his prejudices, Greenleaf could appreciate skill when he saw it. He still didn't have to like Gimli, but he would work with him for now. It wouldn't be for long.

The tunnels they followed were utterly devoid of light it seemed, but Gimli followed his path as surely as if it had been broad daylight. Greenleaf followed by listening to the sound of the Dwarf's boots, keeping them just ahead of him and being careful at any point where the footsteps paused or slowed. This way they made a quick route, and soon were on a spiral staircase going upwards. Before long, they were at the top, stepping out into a corridor. And stepping straight back again as an orc came running along.

"Hey, you lot!" he yelled at a bunch of orcs who were just out of Greenleaf and Gimli's line of sight. "You're missin' all the fun!"

"What's up?" one of them asked.

"I'll tell you what's up," the orc told them excitably, "we've got us a man to play with. They're sticking him in the troll pit!"

Greenleaf and Gimli both turned to look at each other, with exactly the same thought. They voiced it together in a whisper.

"Aragorn."

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