Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, though I would like to own Tom Felton a.k.a. Draco Malfoy. I don't own Valentino either. That belongs to the Italian dude who makes clothes for people like Renee Zellweger and Halle Berry for things like teh Golden Globes and the Oscars, which were last night and I don't own them either. I do not own Legolas, although I would like to. He could survive in my closet quite nicely. I do, however, own the French dude, who I brought back because I think he's cool.

A/N: ok, i like this chapter. Thanks to Switchfoot for making the album, The Beautiful Letdown, which I listened to while writing this. Thanks to A, my bro, for telling me how to spell that funny French laugh (Ah-huh-honh!) and, i'd like to thank the Academy for being there and inspiring me to write a really cool dress in. and to Peter Jackson and his costume designer for designing that outfit Legolas wears in the end of Return of the King, since that's what Draco's wearing. minus the crown. and for making Elves be on my brain 24/7, especially one particular one, who i would like t thank personally....anyway, please R&R!!!! oh, and big snaps and huggles to Draco's-Tootsie23, for being the 50th reviewer!!!!! *toots horn and throw confetti* on with the fic!!!!!

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Eight

They reached the carriges five minutes before deadline and jumped into the first, shoving the third-years that were in it out.

"I can't believe you did that, Draco!" gasped Hermione, who had three stiches in her side. One and a half from running, one and a half from laughing.

"Neither can I," he whispered to her, his head by her ear. She giggled even more.

Draco moved to the seat on the opposite side of the carrige. But, when the carrige lurched to life, Hermione fell into his lap. She shook from all the giggling emanating from her body.

"It not funny," he grumbled, as he was pushing her to the seat opposite. "You hit some, erm, sensative parts." She started to laugh harder and he joined in, seeing the hilarity of the situation.

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They arrived in Hogsmeade, laughing at something Goyle had done the previous year.

"....And then, he upturned the cauldron and the potion, since it was improperly made, turned all of his hair into patches of daisies!" exclaimed a excited Draco. "Professor Snape wasn't able to turn it back for a week! It was very odd in our chambers when he'd get dressed or undressed."

Hermione didn't giggle, because if she did, she was afraid she go stiff. "Oh, dear Draco. How do you handle all of this hilarity? I'd pop."

Draco grinned shyly at her. 'Is he being bashful?' she wondered.

"The store's just over there," he said, pointing. As she looked in the direction of his pointing finger, she saw a very finely made sign showing off the word Valentino.

Hermione laughed at the scrolling letters that decorated the sign.

"Why're you laughing?" he asked, puzzled.

"Valentino is a Muggle designer. My cousin, who lives in America, told me he designs many of the movie star's dresses for the Oscar's and things like that. People like Renee Zellweger, Halle Berry, Oscar-calibar stars, you know."

"Oh," he said. "What're the Oscars?"

Hermione spent the next five minutes explaing the concepts of award shows to Draco.

"Ah," he said, knowledgeably. "That must be Paulo's brother. He went into Muggle designs, years ago, I'm told." He looked pleased to have everythign in his world righted again.

"How do you know so much about fashion?" she asked him.

He squirmed. "My mother takes me shopping with her and my only female cousin every weekend of the summer. I here things and pick up the latest designers, and fashions. It helps sometimes."

They entered the store and Hermione gasped in awe of the gorgeous dresses that surrounded her. A familiar figure approached them.

"Ah! Madmoiselle! Monsieur! It ehz so nize to ze you agains!" exclaimed Phillipe, the excitable French casheir from Grimbult and Meyers.

"Philippe! What are you doing here?" asked Hermione, genuinely shocked.

"Ah, I was, uh how you say? Fiherd. I accziadentally told a Madame that zhe looked like eh Veela who had noht been watching her veight. Conzequently, I vas fiherd. Horrible peasentz, sey do noht appreciate the French." He mumbled for a few moments about the defieciaties of the English then remembered himself. "So, what arze sou looking for? Tell Phillipe everyting, go on tell."

"Well, I'm looking for a dress for Hogwarts Halloween ball," said Hermione.

"Ah! Eh Hallo'een ball! Those are ze greatest balls in ze world. I, myself, have been to many Hallo'een ballz. What iz se theme?"

"Constolations and Elves."

Philippe's eyebrows went up. "Ah, zat is a wonderful theme! Unfortunately, people at Beauxbatons are not zat original."

Hermione smiled. "And the dance theme is a Sadie Hawkins dance."

"Ah huh-honh," laughed Philippe. "That theme is tres--how you say?--ah, magnificant! No one will ever be able to compare to it! Now, let Philippe take care of you!" And he grabbed Hermione's arm and pulled her into the store. Draco, following them, chuckled.

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"Ok, Draco I'm ready. And you'd better not laugh," called Hermione from inside a dressing room.

"I won't; I promise," he said.

Hermione came out in a stunning off-the-shoulder lilac dress. It was a gauze-covered satin dress with the gauze embroidered with traditional Elvish patterns. There were many silver-embroidered roses climbing the dress' skirt. The dress had a normal waist, and the top was also covered in gauze. She was wearing Elvish dancing slippers, lilac satin with a leather sole, that were embroiderd with flowers and leaves.

"Wow...." said Draco. "How the hell am I supposed to find a outfit to match that?"

Hermione giggled. "Don't worry, Philippe says that there is a light blue Elvish lord suit to go with this....contraption." She swirled the very swishy skirt around. "So, waht do you think?"

Draco got up from his seat walked over to Hermione, pinned her to the wall and proceeded to make out with her, in the middle of Paulo Valentino's Hogsmeade boutique.

She smiled shyly when he pulled back. "I guess that means you like it," she said, and was rewarded with another round of kisses.

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"This outfit makes no sense!" cried Draco. "Where the hell does that hook go? Oh..." he trailed off. "Found it. Well, I'm ready. And you better not laugh!"

"I won't!" she yelled at him, fingering her skirt. "Hurry up!"

He came out of the dressing room, and she grinned widely. He looked every bit an Elvish princeling. His pale blond hair was out of his newly traditional leather thong, and hanging around his shoulders, tucked behind his ears.

"Why, Draco!" exclaimed Hermione. "You look just like Legolas at the end of Return of the King! Come here, I've always fancied him." She pulled him over to her and started the kissing fest all over again.

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They walked out of Valentino's with dress bags over their shoulders. The ran into Ernie and Pansy, who were leaning up against the wall, making out.

"Ah-HEM!" coughed Draco, loudly. The teenagers sprang apart.

"Hello, Draco," said Pansy, straighting her collar. "What are you and Hermione doing here?"

"Oh, we were buying our costumes for the ball in Valentino's, and we decided to head over to The Three Broomsticks, when we saw you," said Draco breezily. "And, I'm afraid we have to be going now. See you on Thursday."

He and Hermione walked down the street, past Pansy and Ernie, who commenced their activities when Draco and Hemione left. When they were a half block down, they burst out laughing. Holding on to each other so they wouldn't fall down, they laughed themselves hoarse.

"Draco! What are you doing?" exclaimed a shrill voice.

Draco looked up from Hermione's shoulder. "Oh, God...."

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A/N: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! who is it? oh, wait I KNOW WHO IT IS AND YOU DON'T SO NEENER-NEENER-NEENER!!!! alright, childishness will cease. so, a sugar-quill to anyone who guesses correctly. or, actually, a sugar quill to the FIRST person who guesses correctly. check on my blog, please, or i could review and tell you......oh, and just so you know, Philippe isn't gay. he is just a good salesman. which is funny, since last time i was at the Gap, i think *one* guy there wasn't gay. he was the one working the register. but, you can *never* be sure. he could just be a macho gay guy. *shudders* doesn't that defeat the purpose? oh, and maybe Draco should have a crown like Legolas (he's MINE!!!!!). vote by reviewing. if you're going to review and guess for who it is at the end of the chapter, your format should look like this: (a) x person in HPverse (b) yes/no Draco should get the crown. please R&R, and vote!!!!!

Don't touch my Oscar!

~Blake Edwards