04/20/04
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. They belong to large corporations.
A/N: ok, this chapter is rather short, but whatever. I'm going on a trip this weekend, so I'm not going to write until next Tuesday, which is a week from today. I've tried to implement a bit of Monty Python (which I don't own) based humor into this chapter. So, keep that in mind whilst reading. A hug to my friend Alex, who reviewed!!!!!! Which means she checked her email!!!!! Which she doesn't do often! Also, happy late and early birthdays to my friends Ellie, Beth, Anja, and Brendan!!!!! so, everyone, this is the longest story i've ever written!!!!! Actually it passed that mark about nine chapter back, but whatever. read on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Twenty
"So, you see," said Jon. "I have to beat down on you. She's my sister, and you've impinged on her honor."
"Now that's something you don't hear often," said Justin to Harry. "'Impinged on her honor,' usually it's 'You screwed my sister off! prepare to die!'."
"I wouldn't know," said Harry. "But I've heard Ron practicing in front of the mirror."
"Really?" said Justin.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I think he has to practice being mean to me, his best friend." He leaned closer to Justin. "Personally, I think it's a bit, well, pathetic."
"I agree," said Justin.
"Do you mind?" asked Jon. "I'm trying to threaten someone here."
"Oh, sorry," said Justin. "By all means, continue. Don't let us interrupt."
"You aren't interrupting, you're just distracting me. Would you mind not talking?"
"Oh, all right," said Justin as if he was doing Jon a great favor.
But, in the crossfire, Ernie had run away into his rooms.
"Finally," said Jon. "Ewan, you owe me five quid!"
Harry stared. "You knew about this?" he said in astonishment.
Jon grinned. "During the summers, I stalk my sister. Tell Da, I'm going out to visit friends in the country for a bit, go to Bath, and follow her 'round. Knew Ernie was dating her. Bet Ewan how long under threat of pain it'd take him to run for it. I got closest, I get the five quid."
"Ah," said Harry, a bit dizzy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Aaag! Get off! You're squishing me!!!" yelled Ellie, from under the dogpile of pajama clad teenage girls.
"Yes! Get off her!" yelled Hermione. "We have yet to watch a tearjerker! I'm voting Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring!"
"That's not a tearjerker!" said Padma.
Hermione nodded emphatically. "Oh, yes it is! I cry every time Gandalf "dies". Plus, who says that you can't have hot guys in a tearjerker?"
"No one!" yelled everyone.
And they put LotR:FotR the Extended Version into the DVD player and settled down to watch it, waiting in expectancy for the ever-so-lickable Legolas to show up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I wonder what they're talking about?" asked Harry, to no one in particular.
Jon stretched his feet onto the table. "Well, Susan told me that they'd be watching movies, so I'm sure that they're talking about whatever hottie is in the movie." He sat up suddenly. "Oh, my God. What if they are talking about their love lives?"
This caused all of the guys to sit up from where they were playing chess (Ron and Terry), Exploding Snap (Harry, Justin, and Ewan), and napping (Draco, Ernie [who had come out of his rooms], and Jeremy Walsh) and sweat.
"What've you got to worry about, Jer?" asked Ernie.
"Well," said Jeremy Walsh, otherwise known as Jer, "my girlfriend and I are, erm, well....."
"Oh, come on spit it out!" yelled Draco from the other side of the room.
"Engaged," muttered Jer.
"Hah!" said Justin. "She sent out the big bait and he fell for it, hook line and sinker, I bet!"
Jer glared at Justin. "No, we did not sleep together. There is more than that you know!" His glare softened as he thought of his fiancee. "We fell in love. And I asked her this summer at my grandfather's one hundredth birthday. We're getting married in July."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Legolas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed all the girls, throwing popcorn at the screen. "We looooooove you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
While Hermione was drooling over Aragorn. "Look at you sweat, dripping down your face......." she trailed off.
"That's sick," said Padma. "Drooling over a guy who could be your dad."
"Hey!" exclaimed Hermione. "He's hot!" She turned back to Aragorn. "If you aren't interested in Arwen, lovey, just call me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll bet they're comparing kissing skills," moaned Terry. "I can hear them. 'He's just snogarific!'!"
"'Snogarific'?" said Draco, a bit amused. "That's not a word."
"I know, but that's probably what they're saying!" moaned Terry (again).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gaaaaaaaannnnnndaaaaaaaaalllllllllffffff!" they screamed, turning to each other and sobbing into shoulders.
"Oooh! Look!" squealed Ginny. "Legolas! Sad!"
"Aaaaah! Legolas! Don't be sad!" they screamed again.
Then they went back to crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Really, Terry, 'snogarific'?" said Harry. "I mean, even I could come up with something better than that."
"Oh, really?" said Terry, challenging Harry. "Let's see then."
"All right," said Harry. "They'd be like, 'You should really snog this guys he's got great technique!' or 'The things [blank] does! It makes me want to swoon!'. Shite like that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"AAAAAGH!" they cried. "Gaaaannnndallllfff!"
"Ooh!" yelled Hermione. "Haldir! The dead-sexy Elf who is as cold as ice!"
"Ooooh!" they said, coming out of their mourning to coo over Haldir.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I know," said Ron, "that it's hard to come up with stuff like that. But, really, 'snogarific?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The movie ended, and they decided to go to bed, because they couldn't have baggies under their eyes the next day, could they?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry turned over under his comforter, and heard Neville, who had arrived late at the boy's hang-out, mutter in his sleep, "Snogarific...."
Harry laughed himself to sleep and made a mental note to tease Neville the next day about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: who else finds the phrase 'snogarific' exceptionally funny? *raises hand* memememememe!!!!!!!!!!! so, all, have a nice week because i'll be on the road by three thirty on Friday!!!!!!!!!! love ya!!!!!
slytherinrules85
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, or Lord of the Rings. They belong to large corporations.
A/N: ok, this chapter is rather short, but whatever. I'm going on a trip this weekend, so I'm not going to write until next Tuesday, which is a week from today. I've tried to implement a bit of Monty Python (which I don't own) based humor into this chapter. So, keep that in mind whilst reading. A hug to my friend Alex, who reviewed!!!!!! Which means she checked her email!!!!! Which she doesn't do often! Also, happy late and early birthdays to my friends Ellie, Beth, Anja, and Brendan!!!!! so, everyone, this is the longest story i've ever written!!!!! Actually it passed that mark about nine chapter back, but whatever. read on!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Twenty
"So, you see," said Jon. "I have to beat down on you. She's my sister, and you've impinged on her honor."
"Now that's something you don't hear often," said Justin to Harry. "'Impinged on her honor,' usually it's 'You screwed my sister off! prepare to die!'."
"I wouldn't know," said Harry. "But I've heard Ron practicing in front of the mirror."
"Really?" said Justin.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I think he has to practice being mean to me, his best friend." He leaned closer to Justin. "Personally, I think it's a bit, well, pathetic."
"I agree," said Justin.
"Do you mind?" asked Jon. "I'm trying to threaten someone here."
"Oh, sorry," said Justin. "By all means, continue. Don't let us interrupt."
"You aren't interrupting, you're just distracting me. Would you mind not talking?"
"Oh, all right," said Justin as if he was doing Jon a great favor.
But, in the crossfire, Ernie had run away into his rooms.
"Finally," said Jon. "Ewan, you owe me five quid!"
Harry stared. "You knew about this?" he said in astonishment.
Jon grinned. "During the summers, I stalk my sister. Tell Da, I'm going out to visit friends in the country for a bit, go to Bath, and follow her 'round. Knew Ernie was dating her. Bet Ewan how long under threat of pain it'd take him to run for it. I got closest, I get the five quid."
"Ah," said Harry, a bit dizzy.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Aaag! Get off! You're squishing me!!!" yelled Ellie, from under the dogpile of pajama clad teenage girls.
"Yes! Get off her!" yelled Hermione. "We have yet to watch a tearjerker! I'm voting Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring!"
"That's not a tearjerker!" said Padma.
Hermione nodded emphatically. "Oh, yes it is! I cry every time Gandalf "dies". Plus, who says that you can't have hot guys in a tearjerker?"
"No one!" yelled everyone.
And they put LotR:FotR the Extended Version into the DVD player and settled down to watch it, waiting in expectancy for the ever-so-lickable Legolas to show up.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I wonder what they're talking about?" asked Harry, to no one in particular.
Jon stretched his feet onto the table. "Well, Susan told me that they'd be watching movies, so I'm sure that they're talking about whatever hottie is in the movie." He sat up suddenly. "Oh, my God. What if they are talking about their love lives?"
This caused all of the guys to sit up from where they were playing chess (Ron and Terry), Exploding Snap (Harry, Justin, and Ewan), and napping (Draco, Ernie [who had come out of his rooms], and Jeremy Walsh) and sweat.
"What've you got to worry about, Jer?" asked Ernie.
"Well," said Jeremy Walsh, otherwise known as Jer, "my girlfriend and I are, erm, well....."
"Oh, come on spit it out!" yelled Draco from the other side of the room.
"Engaged," muttered Jer.
"Hah!" said Justin. "She sent out the big bait and he fell for it, hook line and sinker, I bet!"
Jer glared at Justin. "No, we did not sleep together. There is more than that you know!" His glare softened as he thought of his fiancee. "We fell in love. And I asked her this summer at my grandfather's one hundredth birthday. We're getting married in July."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Legolas!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed all the girls, throwing popcorn at the screen. "We looooooove you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
While Hermione was drooling over Aragorn. "Look at you sweat, dripping down your face......." she trailed off.
"That's sick," said Padma. "Drooling over a guy who could be your dad."
"Hey!" exclaimed Hermione. "He's hot!" She turned back to Aragorn. "If you aren't interested in Arwen, lovey, just call me!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I'll bet they're comparing kissing skills," moaned Terry. "I can hear them. 'He's just snogarific!'!"
"'Snogarific'?" said Draco, a bit amused. "That's not a word."
"I know, but that's probably what they're saying!" moaned Terry (again).
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Noooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Gaaaaaaaannnnnndaaaaaaaaalllllllllffffff!" they screamed, turning to each other and sobbing into shoulders.
"Oooh! Look!" squealed Ginny. "Legolas! Sad!"
"Aaaaah! Legolas! Don't be sad!" they screamed again.
Then they went back to crying.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Really, Terry, 'snogarific'?" said Harry. "I mean, even I could come up with something better than that."
"Oh, really?" said Terry, challenging Harry. "Let's see then."
"All right," said Harry. "They'd be like, 'You should really snog this guys he's got great technique!' or 'The things [blank] does! It makes me want to swoon!'. Shite like that."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"AAAAAGH!" they cried. "Gaaaannnndallllfff!"
"Ooh!" yelled Hermione. "Haldir! The dead-sexy Elf who is as cold as ice!"
"Ooooh!" they said, coming out of their mourning to coo over Haldir.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"I know," said Ron, "that it's hard to come up with stuff like that. But, really, 'snogarific?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The movie ended, and they decided to go to bed, because they couldn't have baggies under their eyes the next day, could they?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Harry turned over under his comforter, and heard Neville, who had arrived late at the boy's hang-out, mutter in his sleep, "Snogarific...."
Harry laughed himself to sleep and made a mental note to tease Neville the next day about it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A/N: who else finds the phrase 'snogarific' exceptionally funny? *raises hand* memememememe!!!!!!!!!!! so, all, have a nice week because i'll be on the road by three thirty on Friday!!!!!!!!!! love ya!!!!!
slytherinrules85