Title: Ella - part 3
Rating: PG
Author: Ruthie
Author Feedback: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net
Category: Angst, Drama
Spoilers: Singularity
Summary: Sam's two months are running out, and Jack gives her some advice from the heart.
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
~Ella - part 3~
Copyright © 2004, Ruth
**********
Sam sat alone in her lab, thinking. It was well past midnight, and Janet would almost certainly be on the prowl. She absently stirred her coffee, watching the liquid swirl around in the cup.
It was how she felt inside. Confused, twisting and turning but always ending up in the same situation. She couldn't keep Ella - she would never make a good mother, anyway. All of her time was devoted to her work. No time for a baby.
No time.
She sighed. No, there never was time for anything, was there? No time for a social life, no time for dating…no time for a baby. She slammed her fist angrily against her desk, wincing as a jolt of pain shot up her arm.
Why did she never have the time for anything? Why did she always find herself sitting in this lab, working. This was the way she was destined to be - alone, with her work.
Maybe it was time to start making time for herself.
**********
As she had predicted, Sam was still sitting in her lab. Janet leant against the doorframe and looked at the ceiling. She couldn't truly understand what her friend was going through. Sam had been right - Janet could always wait - she had time to have children later. But Sam, she was always running a risk. Ella really was her last chance.
She knocked softly on the door and went in, smiling at Sam's very sheepish look when she knew that she had been caught.
"I got ya!" Janet said, smiling, "As if I was expecting anything else."
"Guilty as charged. I'll be off soon, Jan."
"No, you'll be off now. Come on," Janet said, standing up and leaving the room.
Sam reluctantly followed her, safe in the knowledge that Ella was being looked after in the infirmary.
**********
Sam was woken up by the telephone. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock across from her. It read 0200 hours. She groaned, and lifted the receiver.
"Sam."
"Sam? I'm sorry, honey, but we have a bit of a problem here." Janet said, her voice strained.
"What is it?" Sam asked, "Is it about Ella?"
"She won't stop crying," Janet said, even now trying to shut out the high-pitched wail that had been disturbing everyone for the past few minutes. "I think she wants you here."
"I'll be right over," Sam said, jumping out of bed and pulling on her clothes.
Janet replaced the receiver and put her head in her hands. Her plan to try and stop the two of them from bonding had failed miserably. The last thing she wanted to do was see either of them hurt, but it looked as if this story was only going to end badly.
**********
When Sam arrived at the SGC, she was met by a very tired and pissed-off airman who led her down to the infirmary. She could hear Ella herself within a few hundred metres, and wondered how on earth such a loud noise could come from such a small child.
"Thank God you're here," Dr McKenzie snapped, "I was about to go and lock her in a bunker!"
Sam ignored him, and took Ella from Janet's arms.
"Ssh!" she said, "Stop that. You don't want to see Dr McKenzie again, do you? No, I didn't think so."
Slowly, very slowly, Ella began to quieten.
"I bet your throat's sore now, isn't it?" She asked, "Janet - do we have any milk for her?"
"Sure, I'll go and get some," Janet said, smiling as the ringing in her ears reduced.
"Nice to see somebody managed to shut it up," McKenzie sneered, "Still, the bunker isn't going anywhere."
"Go jump off a cliff, doctor," Sam snapped, "I know it seems hard to believe, but you were like her once."
McKenzie muttered something under his breath and swept out of the infirmary.
**********
The next morning, Jack strolled into the infirmary to find his 2IC asleep by Ella's cot. For a moment he just stood there, taking in the view. They looked so beautiful there, peaceful and quiet. Nothing like the screaming he had heard the previous night. He went over to Carter and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently.
"Carter?"
"Colonel," she said, sitting up and looking down at Ella, who was still asleep.
"Bad night?" He asked, looking at the rings under her eyes.
"You could say that, sir, yes," she replied, jumping down off of the bed and standing beside him, folding her arms.
"I could never get bored of watching them sleep," Jack said softly, "I used to watch Charlie all the time. It used to freak Sara out sometimes. I just couldn't believe that he was mine. And before I knew what was happening - he wasn't sleeping in that little cot any more."
Sam gently placed her hand on her CO's shoulder. She knew that his memories of Charlie were still painful, even today. She was also surprised to hear him open up to her, as this wasn't very common at all.
"That's sweet," she said quietly.
"Do we know who's getting her yet?" Jack asked.
Sam closed her eyes, her dream shattered. Of course there was no way that she could have her. She needed to stop thinking like this.
"Uh…no," she said, "I think General Hammond's organising something…uh…would you excuse me for a minute?"
Sam rushed out of the infirmary to her quarters, leaving Jack to keep his silent vigil by Ella's bedside.
**********
Sam looked at her reflection in the mirror as she splashed water on her face. She was exhausted, her head hurt, her back ached - but she felt more alive than ever before. Ella was like a drug for her - the more she had, the harder it was to give her up.
But give her up she would have to. The truth hurt, and it cut deep. She remembered the way that Jack had talked about Charlie. There was so much love in that man that was hardly ever seen, all because he had lost something that he cared about.
She wondered what it would be like when Ella was gone. Splashing herself with more cold water, she shook herself out of the dream and looked in the mirror again. Like her cup of coffee, she was going around in circles, but always ended up in the same place.
Ella would be gone from her life in two months.
**********
As she went back to the infirmary, she saw that Colonel O'Neill was still standing there, watching Ella. She sidled up behind him, and looked down at the baby herself. She was the image of peace, quite the opposite of how she had been in the small hours of the morning.
"Carter," Jack said suddenly, "I'm going to give you some advice."
"Sir?"
"When you have something you love, it means everything. It's all that you can think about, day and night. It's always on your mind. Then, when you lose it, it leaves a hole too big to repair. When you can't have it, you'll drive yourself crazy wanting it. Listen to me. You might not think so, but you have a chance here. Something you've always wanted. I know she seems far away now, but she isn't. Look - just reach out and touch her. Don't leave her behind. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."
With that, he left.
"Don't leave her behind," Sam murmured quietly, wiping a tear from her eye. She knelt down beside the sleeping child and stroked a finger across her cheek, "I won't leave you, honey."
**********
To Be Continued…
**********
Author Notes: Sorry about the delay for this one! Please send feedback to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net
Rating: PG
Author: Ruthie
Author Feedback: jm-webmistress@fsmail.net
Category: Angst, Drama
Spoilers: Singularity
Summary: Sam's two months are running out, and Jack gives her some advice from the heart.
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
~Ella - part 3~
Copyright © 2004, Ruth
**********
Sam sat alone in her lab, thinking. It was well past midnight, and Janet would almost certainly be on the prowl. She absently stirred her coffee, watching the liquid swirl around in the cup.
It was how she felt inside. Confused, twisting and turning but always ending up in the same situation. She couldn't keep Ella - she would never make a good mother, anyway. All of her time was devoted to her work. No time for a baby.
No time.
She sighed. No, there never was time for anything, was there? No time for a social life, no time for dating…no time for a baby. She slammed her fist angrily against her desk, wincing as a jolt of pain shot up her arm.
Why did she never have the time for anything? Why did she always find herself sitting in this lab, working. This was the way she was destined to be - alone, with her work.
Maybe it was time to start making time for herself.
**********
As she had predicted, Sam was still sitting in her lab. Janet leant against the doorframe and looked at the ceiling. She couldn't truly understand what her friend was going through. Sam had been right - Janet could always wait - she had time to have children later. But Sam, she was always running a risk. Ella really was her last chance.
She knocked softly on the door and went in, smiling at Sam's very sheepish look when she knew that she had been caught.
"I got ya!" Janet said, smiling, "As if I was expecting anything else."
"Guilty as charged. I'll be off soon, Jan."
"No, you'll be off now. Come on," Janet said, standing up and leaving the room.
Sam reluctantly followed her, safe in the knowledge that Ella was being looked after in the infirmary.
**********
Sam was woken up by the telephone. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock across from her. It read 0200 hours. She groaned, and lifted the receiver.
"Sam."
"Sam? I'm sorry, honey, but we have a bit of a problem here." Janet said, her voice strained.
"What is it?" Sam asked, "Is it about Ella?"
"She won't stop crying," Janet said, even now trying to shut out the high-pitched wail that had been disturbing everyone for the past few minutes. "I think she wants you here."
"I'll be right over," Sam said, jumping out of bed and pulling on her clothes.
Janet replaced the receiver and put her head in her hands. Her plan to try and stop the two of them from bonding had failed miserably. The last thing she wanted to do was see either of them hurt, but it looked as if this story was only going to end badly.
**********
When Sam arrived at the SGC, she was met by a very tired and pissed-off airman who led her down to the infirmary. She could hear Ella herself within a few hundred metres, and wondered how on earth such a loud noise could come from such a small child.
"Thank God you're here," Dr McKenzie snapped, "I was about to go and lock her in a bunker!"
Sam ignored him, and took Ella from Janet's arms.
"Ssh!" she said, "Stop that. You don't want to see Dr McKenzie again, do you? No, I didn't think so."
Slowly, very slowly, Ella began to quieten.
"I bet your throat's sore now, isn't it?" She asked, "Janet - do we have any milk for her?"
"Sure, I'll go and get some," Janet said, smiling as the ringing in her ears reduced.
"Nice to see somebody managed to shut it up," McKenzie sneered, "Still, the bunker isn't going anywhere."
"Go jump off a cliff, doctor," Sam snapped, "I know it seems hard to believe, but you were like her once."
McKenzie muttered something under his breath and swept out of the infirmary.
**********
The next morning, Jack strolled into the infirmary to find his 2IC asleep by Ella's cot. For a moment he just stood there, taking in the view. They looked so beautiful there, peaceful and quiet. Nothing like the screaming he had heard the previous night. He went over to Carter and gently placed a hand on her shoulder, shaking her gently.
"Carter?"
"Colonel," she said, sitting up and looking down at Ella, who was still asleep.
"Bad night?" He asked, looking at the rings under her eyes.
"You could say that, sir, yes," she replied, jumping down off of the bed and standing beside him, folding her arms.
"I could never get bored of watching them sleep," Jack said softly, "I used to watch Charlie all the time. It used to freak Sara out sometimes. I just couldn't believe that he was mine. And before I knew what was happening - he wasn't sleeping in that little cot any more."
Sam gently placed her hand on her CO's shoulder. She knew that his memories of Charlie were still painful, even today. She was also surprised to hear him open up to her, as this wasn't very common at all.
"That's sweet," she said quietly.
"Do we know who's getting her yet?" Jack asked.
Sam closed her eyes, her dream shattered. Of course there was no way that she could have her. She needed to stop thinking like this.
"Uh…no," she said, "I think General Hammond's organising something…uh…would you excuse me for a minute?"
Sam rushed out of the infirmary to her quarters, leaving Jack to keep his silent vigil by Ella's bedside.
**********
Sam looked at her reflection in the mirror as she splashed water on her face. She was exhausted, her head hurt, her back ached - but she felt more alive than ever before. Ella was like a drug for her - the more she had, the harder it was to give her up.
But give her up she would have to. The truth hurt, and it cut deep. She remembered the way that Jack had talked about Charlie. There was so much love in that man that was hardly ever seen, all because he had lost something that he cared about.
She wondered what it would be like when Ella was gone. Splashing herself with more cold water, she shook herself out of the dream and looked in the mirror again. Like her cup of coffee, she was going around in circles, but always ended up in the same place.
Ella would be gone from her life in two months.
**********
As she went back to the infirmary, she saw that Colonel O'Neill was still standing there, watching Ella. She sidled up behind him, and looked down at the baby herself. She was the image of peace, quite the opposite of how she had been in the small hours of the morning.
"Carter," Jack said suddenly, "I'm going to give you some advice."
"Sir?"
"When you have something you love, it means everything. It's all that you can think about, day and night. It's always on your mind. Then, when you lose it, it leaves a hole too big to repair. When you can't have it, you'll drive yourself crazy wanting it. Listen to me. You might not think so, but you have a chance here. Something you've always wanted. I know she seems far away now, but she isn't. Look - just reach out and touch her. Don't leave her behind. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."
With that, he left.
"Don't leave her behind," Sam murmured quietly, wiping a tear from her eye. She knelt down beside the sleeping child and stroked a finger across her cheek, "I won't leave you, honey."
**********
To Be Continued…
**********
Author Notes: Sorry about the delay for this one! Please send feedback to jm-webmistress@fsmail.net