Title: Ella - part 4
Rating: PG
Author: Ruthie
Author Feedback: jm-webmistressfsmail.net
Category: Angst, Drama, Sam/Jack
Spoilers: Singularity
Summary: Sam has a difficult decision to make in order to follow Jack's advice, and he makes it somewhat more complicated.
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Ella - part 4
Copyright © 2004, Ruth
"Don't leave her behind. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."
His words swam around in her mind as she lay in bed at home, unable to get any sleep. She hated leaving Ella at the SGC, knowing full well that by about half past two in the morning she would be called back there to calm her down.
There was not a part of her that didn't miss Ella - and not a part of her that didn't ache when she thought of how she would have to give her up in a few weeks.
She didn't want to leave her behind - but did she have a choice? She looked over at the clock, and saw that it was just past midnight. She had no chance of getting a good night's sleep, then. She turned over and sighed, throwing aside the covers and going into her lounge.
She turned on the TV and watched it absently for a few minutes, before her eye fell on a photograph above it. She got up and picked up the picture, returning to the couch and curling up underneath her quilt. It had been taken by Jack, just after Cassie had arrived. It showed the two of them at the park, enjoying Cassie's first go on the swings.
The pain of losing her came back to Sam instantly. Of course, she hadn't actually lost her, but she had been unable to look after her properly. As a mother. It was very similar to the one that she was feeling at the moment.
She remembered Jack's words from the previous night. What had he meant, exactly? How was she supposed to look after Ella and carry on at the SGC at the same time?
Then, the penny dropped.
Jack whistled as he walked down the corridor, surprised to see Sam's lab lit up. It was only just 6am, and he knew that Ella usually slept right through until seven. He gently pushed open the door and smiled as he saw Sam sitting at her computer. Just like old times.
"Hey," he said, crossing the distance between them and standing opposite her, with his hands in his pockets, "Whatcha doing?"
"Nothing," she said hurriedly, closing down a word document and turning around in her chair to look at him. "I just thought I'd get some stuff done before Ella wakes up…"
Her voice trailed off as he looked straight past her, opening the document again. He read the first line, and his eyes met hers.
"You're resigning?" He asked.
"I...well…I have to, Colonel," she said, looking away from him.
"But…permanently? Why don't you just stop active duty? I mean, you could…"
"No," Sam interrupted, "I couldn't. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it properly."
Jack sat down, and looked across at his 2IC.
"This is going to sound selfish, but I don't want you to go," he told her.
"But, it was you who gave me the idea!" Sam said, confused.
"Of course I want you to be happy," Jack said, running a hand through his hair, "But I…but I don't want you to leave. I…I don't know if I can do this without you."
The few seconds of silence between them before she replied felt like an eternity.
"Me?" Sam asked softly. "Me? You'll have Daniel and Teal'c, you…"
"I need you," Jack stated simply. "Always have done, always will. I know I haven't always been able to admit it, but as you so often tell me I am as stubborn as an ass."
"Are you sure those were my exact words?" Sam quipped, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth.
"Maybe you missed out the 'as an' part," Jack grinned.
Sam looked down at the floor. Her mind was spinning - he wanted the best for her and Ella, but he didn't want her to leave…to leave him.
"I don't know what to say," She said, twisting her hands uncomfortably.
"You don't need to say anything," Jack murmured, "Just…"
He closed the distance between them. Sam's heart began to beat faster, and she could feel his breath on her neck. They inched closer, she felt his hand on her waist, burning through the fabric of her BDU's…
And there was a knock at the door.
They leapt apart, just as the door was opened and Janet entered, holding Ella in her arms.
"Sam, I - oh, sorry, I didn't realise I was interrupting anything," Janet began, looking between her friend and the Colonel.
"You didn't," Jack smiled, "I'll catch ya later, Carter!"
He smiled, tickled Ella under her chin and left. Sam sank back down in her chair and accepted the child from Janet's arms.
"So…what was I interrupting?" Janet asked. "And don't even try to tell me it was nothing - you could cut the tension in here with a knife!"
"This isn't easy for me to say, Jan, but…well, I'm resigning." Sam said, awkwardly.
"Resigning?" Janet asked, shocked, "But…"
Then her eyes fell on Ella.
"I have to, Jan. She's my last chance to have a child of my own. I can't let her go away."
"Oh, Sam," Janet said quietly, hugging her friend. "What am I going to do without you here?"
"You'd save on all that heart damage," Sam joked, "All the coffee we drink can't be doing any good!"
"I'm being serious," Janet said, "It'll be awful without you!"
"I know," Sam agreed, "But it's not like I'm moving across the world - I'm only a half hour away. And I'm sure that Hammond will find plenty of jobs to keep me back and forth!"
"Have you handed it in yet?" Janet asked. Sam shook her head.
"No, I've only just finished writing it now."
"Is there any point in me asking you to change your mind?" Janet asked.
Sam shook her head sadly.
"My mind is made up, Jan. I'm leaving the SGC."
Jack kicked angrily at the wall in his office. Why had he gone and done that? As if Sam wasn't having a hard enough time at the moment, he'd gone and tried to kiss her! Now what was she supposed to think? He just looked like a randy old Colonel trying a last-ditch attempt to get her into his bed.
Truthfully, he was just lonely. Seeing Sam with Ella had filled a part of him that Charlie used to occupy, but at the same time it was tearing him apart. He couldn't do this job without her there every day, her brilliant smile.
She wasn't just the best 2IC he'd ever had - she was his best friend. Someone he could always rely on - even when he was being a complete idiot. He didn't deserve to have her, he knew that much. He also knew that he didn't deserve to lose her - but how the hell was he going to get her back now?
Hammond nodded sadly, and looked up at the woman in front of him.
"It'll be a great loss, Major, I can tell you." He said.
"I know, sir, and I can only apologise, but this is something I need to do."
"I take it we can rely on you in future emergencies?" He asked, a small smile on his lips.
"Just as long as they're not too frequent," Sam nodded, "I expect so."
"It's been an honour, Major."
"Likewise, General."
To Be Continued…
Author Notes: Again, sorry about the time it's taking for me to write these things. The situation should improve again in about three weeks…if you can bear with me for that long, I'd be very grateful. Please send feedback to jm-webmistressfsmail.net
Rating: PG
Author: Ruthie
Author Feedback: jm-webmistressfsmail.net
Category: Angst, Drama, Sam/Jack
Spoilers: Singularity
Summary: Sam has a difficult decision to make in order to follow Jack's advice, and he makes it somewhat more complicated.
Author Notes: Been working on this for a while now. Many thanks to everyone who has sent me feedback over the past few months - I wouldn't be here without you.
Disclaimer:All publicly recognisable characters and places are the property of MGM, World Gekko Corp and Double Secret productions. This piece of fan fiction was created for entertainment not monetary purposes and no infringement on copyrights or trademarks was intended. Previously unrecognised characters and places, and this story, are copyrighted to the author. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead is coincidental and not intended by the author.
Ella - part 4
Copyright © 2004, Ruth
"Don't leave her behind. You'll regret it for the rest of your life."
His words swam around in her mind as she lay in bed at home, unable to get any sleep. She hated leaving Ella at the SGC, knowing full well that by about half past two in the morning she would be called back there to calm her down.
There was not a part of her that didn't miss Ella - and not a part of her that didn't ache when she thought of how she would have to give her up in a few weeks.
She didn't want to leave her behind - but did she have a choice? She looked over at the clock, and saw that it was just past midnight. She had no chance of getting a good night's sleep, then. She turned over and sighed, throwing aside the covers and going into her lounge.
She turned on the TV and watched it absently for a few minutes, before her eye fell on a photograph above it. She got up and picked up the picture, returning to the couch and curling up underneath her quilt. It had been taken by Jack, just after Cassie had arrived. It showed the two of them at the park, enjoying Cassie's first go on the swings.
The pain of losing her came back to Sam instantly. Of course, she hadn't actually lost her, but she had been unable to look after her properly. As a mother. It was very similar to the one that she was feeling at the moment.
She remembered Jack's words from the previous night. What had he meant, exactly? How was she supposed to look after Ella and carry on at the SGC at the same time?
Then, the penny dropped.
Jack whistled as he walked down the corridor, surprised to see Sam's lab lit up. It was only just 6am, and he knew that Ella usually slept right through until seven. He gently pushed open the door and smiled as he saw Sam sitting at her computer. Just like old times.
"Hey," he said, crossing the distance between them and standing opposite her, with his hands in his pockets, "Whatcha doing?"
"Nothing," she said hurriedly, closing down a word document and turning around in her chair to look at him. "I just thought I'd get some stuff done before Ella wakes up…"
Her voice trailed off as he looked straight past her, opening the document again. He read the first line, and his eyes met hers.
"You're resigning?" He asked.
"I...well…I have to, Colonel," she said, looking away from him.
"But…permanently? Why don't you just stop active duty? I mean, you could…"
"No," Sam interrupted, "I couldn't. If I'm going to do this, I'm going to do it properly."
Jack sat down, and looked across at his 2IC.
"This is going to sound selfish, but I don't want you to go," he told her.
"But, it was you who gave me the idea!" Sam said, confused.
"Of course I want you to be happy," Jack said, running a hand through his hair, "But I…but I don't want you to leave. I…I don't know if I can do this without you."
The few seconds of silence between them before she replied felt like an eternity.
"Me?" Sam asked softly. "Me? You'll have Daniel and Teal'c, you…"
"I need you," Jack stated simply. "Always have done, always will. I know I haven't always been able to admit it, but as you so often tell me I am as stubborn as an ass."
"Are you sure those were my exact words?" Sam quipped, a smile playing around the corners of her mouth.
"Maybe you missed out the 'as an' part," Jack grinned.
Sam looked down at the floor. Her mind was spinning - he wanted the best for her and Ella, but he didn't want her to leave…to leave him.
"I don't know what to say," She said, twisting her hands uncomfortably.
"You don't need to say anything," Jack murmured, "Just…"
He closed the distance between them. Sam's heart began to beat faster, and she could feel his breath on her neck. They inched closer, she felt his hand on her waist, burning through the fabric of her BDU's…
And there was a knock at the door.
They leapt apart, just as the door was opened and Janet entered, holding Ella in her arms.
"Sam, I - oh, sorry, I didn't realise I was interrupting anything," Janet began, looking between her friend and the Colonel.
"You didn't," Jack smiled, "I'll catch ya later, Carter!"
He smiled, tickled Ella under her chin and left. Sam sank back down in her chair and accepted the child from Janet's arms.
"So…what was I interrupting?" Janet asked. "And don't even try to tell me it was nothing - you could cut the tension in here with a knife!"
"This isn't easy for me to say, Jan, but…well, I'm resigning." Sam said, awkwardly.
"Resigning?" Janet asked, shocked, "But…"
Then her eyes fell on Ella.
"I have to, Jan. She's my last chance to have a child of my own. I can't let her go away."
"Oh, Sam," Janet said quietly, hugging her friend. "What am I going to do without you here?"
"You'd save on all that heart damage," Sam joked, "All the coffee we drink can't be doing any good!"
"I'm being serious," Janet said, "It'll be awful without you!"
"I know," Sam agreed, "But it's not like I'm moving across the world - I'm only a half hour away. And I'm sure that Hammond will find plenty of jobs to keep me back and forth!"
"Have you handed it in yet?" Janet asked. Sam shook her head.
"No, I've only just finished writing it now."
"Is there any point in me asking you to change your mind?" Janet asked.
Sam shook her head sadly.
"My mind is made up, Jan. I'm leaving the SGC."
Jack kicked angrily at the wall in his office. Why had he gone and done that? As if Sam wasn't having a hard enough time at the moment, he'd gone and tried to kiss her! Now what was she supposed to think? He just looked like a randy old Colonel trying a last-ditch attempt to get her into his bed.
Truthfully, he was just lonely. Seeing Sam with Ella had filled a part of him that Charlie used to occupy, but at the same time it was tearing him apart. He couldn't do this job without her there every day, her brilliant smile.
She wasn't just the best 2IC he'd ever had - she was his best friend. Someone he could always rely on - even when he was being a complete idiot. He didn't deserve to have her, he knew that much. He also knew that he didn't deserve to lose her - but how the hell was he going to get her back now?
Hammond nodded sadly, and looked up at the woman in front of him.
"It'll be a great loss, Major, I can tell you." He said.
"I know, sir, and I can only apologise, but this is something I need to do."
"I take it we can rely on you in future emergencies?" He asked, a small smile on his lips.
"Just as long as they're not too frequent," Sam nodded, "I expect so."
"It's been an honour, Major."
"Likewise, General."
To Be Continued…
Author Notes: Again, sorry about the time it's taking for me to write these things. The situation should improve again in about three weeks…if you can bear with me for that long, I'd be very grateful. Please send feedback to jm-webmistressfsmail.net