AN: Man, it's been awhile.....But I had an inspiration this morning when I was brushing my teeth....Here goes.....
Disclaimer: Well, obviously, I don't own X-men, because otherwise this wouldn't be here. I also don't own LOTR, Batman, Star Wars, or Hebrew National Hot Dogs.
Mary Sue the Magnificent rubbed her hands together happily as she watched her minions bring all the men of Bayville High into her super duper storage room. She grinned evilly, and then went inside. She put her umbrella away as she entered the Barbie Mansion, because, you see, duckies were still pouring down everywhere.
"It is time!!! I shall go and lure the X-men into my evillllll grasppp!!! AHAHHAHAHA!" She laughed maniacally. And then, a chipmunk hit her perfect head. She recovered quickly, and her eye got really big and flame-like. "MANDY! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE SOMEWHERE!!!!"
At the top of the Grandiester staircase, Mandy sighed to herself. "Bloody telepath...." With that, she sauntered upstairs to go hang out with all the captured men.
Mary Sue sighed, and strode towards the garage door. She went inside and stared in horror. Apparently, all the cars were in use. EXCEPT FOR ONE...
"Oh, Mandy! My favorite little friend, where are you?"
Mandy, who was currently playing poker with Legolas, Anakin, Principal Kelly, and Batman, looked exasperated.
"You know, she is really obnoxious sometimes..."
Mary Sue the Magnificent came up the stairs and saw the fivesome in the hallway. "Oh Mandy, my bestest friend, I need a favor." She smiled sweetly.
"HO NO! I AM NOT CLEANING YOUR FOOT FUNGUS AGAIN!!!!" Mandy screamed, cowering behind Batman. All four men widened their eyes at once.
"You have foot fungus?" They asked in unison.
"Uh...hehe...uh no, Mandy is just crazy....I need to talk to her...COME ON, Mandy." She grabbed the other girl by the arm and dragged her downstairs.
"What the heck do you want from me?"
"I need to use your car. Really uber bad." Mary Sue explained.
Mandy grinned a sly grin that was very sly in the slyest of ways. "OH HOHO! Well, I suppose I could let you...with some conditions, of course."
"WHAT? JUST HURRY UP! I NEED TO GET TO THE X-MANSION RIGHT AWAY!" Mary Sue screamed, grabbing Mandy by the throat.
"You have to be really nice to me." Mandy smiled as Mary Sue reluctantly let go. "Let see...What else? Oh yeah, you have to give me a life supply of Hebrew National hot dogs, the only kind of hot dog that's really a hot dog because it's kosher (That commercial makes me laugh. I don't know why.) AND, last but not least, you have to let me come with you."
"Okay, so niceness, hot dogs, and...wait...COME WITH ME?" Mary Sue got all shiny and creepy like with evil glowing eyes. She was mad.
"Hey, I understand...you could always walk..."
"GAR!!!" She ripped some hair out of her head, which immediately grew back because she was too perfect to lose hair. "FINE! YOU CAN BLOODY COME WITH ME!"
"YES! Oh, boys..."
Meanwhile, at the Acolytes hangout...
"ZUT! DIS CAJUN IS GONNA KICK MONSIEUR PYRO'S GLUTEUS MAXIMUS!!!" The scream of everyone's favorite Cajun resounded throughout the Acolyte's house.
"I have no idea where Pyro is, if that's what you wanted to know..." Piotr flipped through a magazine on gardening. (You know, he's the only one that I like to refer to with his normal name...weird.) He had long learned to translate his insane teammate's crazy screaming.
Gambit ran into the room, wearing a fuzzy bathrobe. His hair was wet, seeing as he had probably just finished a bath. "HE STOLE MA UNDERWEAR! AGAIN!" Gambit kicked over a chair. Piotr continued to sip on his herbal tea.
"You know, Gambit, maybe he wouldn't steal you underwear if SOMEONE WOULD DO THE LAUNDRY WHEN IT'S HIS TURN TO DO IT!" Piotr sneered, turning back to his magazine.
"ARG! TU ES BET!" Gambit roared, leaving the room. Piotr shrugged, because he didn't know how to translate the author's lame French. Suddenly, the Russian heard a knock. He didn't care at first, because he was wondering why all the Acolytes had funny accents. He preferred sounding British, because Russian was to hard to write as an accent though in reality he did speak Russian, Gambit spoke with a French accent, Pyro spoke with an Australian accent, Magneto spoke with a weird deep American meets British accent, Sabertooth was Herzegovinian (yikes, I spelled that wrong), and Master Mind...well he was just ugly.
Anyhow, the knock on the door came again, and Piotr actually noticed it. "COME IN!" He screamed, sipping his tea again. The door opened, and BEHOLD, there stood the most beautiful woman that had ever opened the door to this house. Her long, ruby red hair flew in the wind, and she smiled the perfect frown that was accustomed to her gothiness...then she fainted in the doorway.
Piotr ran forward and caught her. He fell immediately in love with her. He brought her in to nurse her back to health. Little did he know, he was carrying evil into the household...
"WHY! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST HAVE ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS???" Mary Sue cried. They had stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere because Mandy got lost. The boys in the backseat sighed, and sat there looking tired. Mandy pulled out a map.
"I was so sure I was going the right way..." Mandy stared at the map, leaning back in the driver's seat. Mary Sue grabbed at it, frowning.
"Mandy...I'm really trying to be nice now. Did it not occur to you that you were looking at a map of Arizona upside down?" Mary Sue asked politely.
"OOOOOHHH...I THOUGHT IT LOOKED A LITTLE FUNNY!!!" Mandy put the map away and pulled out 49 more maps of the other states. "Well now, because I have no clue what state we are in any longer, I suppose I'll have to look at all of them! HEHE!" Mandy giggled. Mary Sue rolled her eyes and jumped out of the jeep.
"I am going to go inside." She turned to look at the boys in the back seat. "COULD ONE OF YOU TRY TO ASSIST THIS..." She struggled, trying to be nice, "...PERSON WITH THE MAPS!" Mary Sue walked towards the gas station store. A neon sign was set atop the door, though only half of it was still lit up. It read: WELCOME TO DIRTY HARRY'S GAS STATION!
Mary Sue grimaced and strode inside the store. It was the lamest gas station store she had ever stepped into. Oh no, it's not like it was small...In fact, it was very big. However, the problem lay in the fact that most of the shelves were empty, and whatever was still there was coated in a six inch layer of dust. Mary Sue walked cautiously towards the candy shelf. She eyed the contents suspiciously. "Mr. Moon's Yummy Chocolate? Chewy's Chewerrific Chocolate Chew? Tobacco flavored lollipops? Pickled pig's tongue?!?"
She turned away in horror. She then sighed in relief when she saw a semi-safe looking coffee machine. She grabbed a semi-clean cup and stuck it under the nozzle. A light brown lumpy liquid came out. Mary Sue bit her lip. Oh well, she could always give it to Mandy. She went towards the counter to pay, but almost fell over when a Sumo wrestler came out of the bathroom. She blinked, but continued on. At the counter sat Dirty Harry himself. He was wearing pants with a million hole in them and a tanktop with huge brown blotched on it. He was really fat and hairy too.
"Welcome to Dirty Harry's, 'ome of the Dirty Coffee an' Candy, can I 'elp ya?" The man said in a horrible hickish accent. Mary Sue slid the coffee over the countertop to show him what she got. Harry rung it up. "At'll be 49.50."
"WHAT? THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING COFFEE I HAVE EVER SEEN, AND YOU WANT TO CHARGE ME 49.50!!!" Mary Sue became all glowy again.
"Well, darlin', you didn't notice, but it says right there on that there darn cup, 'Premium.' That means expensive."
"I WILL NOT PAY THAT MUCH FOR THIS STUPID COFFEE! TAKE THAT, YOU BUM!" She threw it at the ugly man. He frowned at the dripping stuff, and yelled towards the back room.
"Yo, Hefty, get 'er out of here!" Then, a horrible blue giant Boy Scout named Hefty, which was really just a nickname, you see, covering up for his real name which was Shandi Mcallister, came out of the back room and threw Mary Sue out the window. Miraculously, she landed in the Jeep. The evil Boy Scout came out trying to hurt her.
"DRIVE WOMAN! DRIVE LIKE THERE'S NO GIANT BAGELS!"
AN: Yeah, so that's that....
Disclaimer: Well, obviously, I don't own X-men, because otherwise this wouldn't be here. I also don't own LOTR, Batman, Star Wars, or Hebrew National Hot Dogs.
Mary Sue the Magnificent rubbed her hands together happily as she watched her minions bring all the men of Bayville High into her super duper storage room. She grinned evilly, and then went inside. She put her umbrella away as she entered the Barbie Mansion, because, you see, duckies were still pouring down everywhere.
"It is time!!! I shall go and lure the X-men into my evillllll grasppp!!! AHAHHAHAHA!" She laughed maniacally. And then, a chipmunk hit her perfect head. She recovered quickly, and her eye got really big and flame-like. "MANDY! I KNOW YOU ARE HERE SOMEWHERE!!!!"
At the top of the Grandiester staircase, Mandy sighed to herself. "Bloody telepath...." With that, she sauntered upstairs to go hang out with all the captured men.
Mary Sue sighed, and strode towards the garage door. She went inside and stared in horror. Apparently, all the cars were in use. EXCEPT FOR ONE...
"Oh, Mandy! My favorite little friend, where are you?"
Mandy, who was currently playing poker with Legolas, Anakin, Principal Kelly, and Batman, looked exasperated.
"You know, she is really obnoxious sometimes..."
Mary Sue the Magnificent came up the stairs and saw the fivesome in the hallway. "Oh Mandy, my bestest friend, I need a favor." She smiled sweetly.
"HO NO! I AM NOT CLEANING YOUR FOOT FUNGUS AGAIN!!!!" Mandy screamed, cowering behind Batman. All four men widened their eyes at once.
"You have foot fungus?" They asked in unison.
"Uh...hehe...uh no, Mandy is just crazy....I need to talk to her...COME ON, Mandy." She grabbed the other girl by the arm and dragged her downstairs.
"What the heck do you want from me?"
"I need to use your car. Really uber bad." Mary Sue explained.
Mandy grinned a sly grin that was very sly in the slyest of ways. "OH HOHO! Well, I suppose I could let you...with some conditions, of course."
"WHAT? JUST HURRY UP! I NEED TO GET TO THE X-MANSION RIGHT AWAY!" Mary Sue screamed, grabbing Mandy by the throat.
"You have to be really nice to me." Mandy smiled as Mary Sue reluctantly let go. "Let see...What else? Oh yeah, you have to give me a life supply of Hebrew National hot dogs, the only kind of hot dog that's really a hot dog because it's kosher (That commercial makes me laugh. I don't know why.) AND, last but not least, you have to let me come with you."
"Okay, so niceness, hot dogs, and...wait...COME WITH ME?" Mary Sue got all shiny and creepy like with evil glowing eyes. She was mad.
"Hey, I understand...you could always walk..."
"GAR!!!" She ripped some hair out of her head, which immediately grew back because she was too perfect to lose hair. "FINE! YOU CAN BLOODY COME WITH ME!"
"YES! Oh, boys..."
Meanwhile, at the Acolytes hangout...
"ZUT! DIS CAJUN IS GONNA KICK MONSIEUR PYRO'S GLUTEUS MAXIMUS!!!" The scream of everyone's favorite Cajun resounded throughout the Acolyte's house.
"I have no idea where Pyro is, if that's what you wanted to know..." Piotr flipped through a magazine on gardening. (You know, he's the only one that I like to refer to with his normal name...weird.) He had long learned to translate his insane teammate's crazy screaming.
Gambit ran into the room, wearing a fuzzy bathrobe. His hair was wet, seeing as he had probably just finished a bath. "HE STOLE MA UNDERWEAR! AGAIN!" Gambit kicked over a chair. Piotr continued to sip on his herbal tea.
"You know, Gambit, maybe he wouldn't steal you underwear if SOMEONE WOULD DO THE LAUNDRY WHEN IT'S HIS TURN TO DO IT!" Piotr sneered, turning back to his magazine.
"ARG! TU ES BET!" Gambit roared, leaving the room. Piotr shrugged, because he didn't know how to translate the author's lame French. Suddenly, the Russian heard a knock. He didn't care at first, because he was wondering why all the Acolytes had funny accents. He preferred sounding British, because Russian was to hard to write as an accent though in reality he did speak Russian, Gambit spoke with a French accent, Pyro spoke with an Australian accent, Magneto spoke with a weird deep American meets British accent, Sabertooth was Herzegovinian (yikes, I spelled that wrong), and Master Mind...well he was just ugly.
Anyhow, the knock on the door came again, and Piotr actually noticed it. "COME IN!" He screamed, sipping his tea again. The door opened, and BEHOLD, there stood the most beautiful woman that had ever opened the door to this house. Her long, ruby red hair flew in the wind, and she smiled the perfect frown that was accustomed to her gothiness...then she fainted in the doorway.
Piotr ran forward and caught her. He fell immediately in love with her. He brought her in to nurse her back to health. Little did he know, he was carrying evil into the household...
"WHY! WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST HAVE ASKED FOR DIRECTIONS???" Mary Sue cried. They had stopped at a gas station in the middle of nowhere because Mandy got lost. The boys in the backseat sighed, and sat there looking tired. Mandy pulled out a map.
"I was so sure I was going the right way..." Mandy stared at the map, leaning back in the driver's seat. Mary Sue grabbed at it, frowning.
"Mandy...I'm really trying to be nice now. Did it not occur to you that you were looking at a map of Arizona upside down?" Mary Sue asked politely.
"OOOOOHHH...I THOUGHT IT LOOKED A LITTLE FUNNY!!!" Mandy put the map away and pulled out 49 more maps of the other states. "Well now, because I have no clue what state we are in any longer, I suppose I'll have to look at all of them! HEHE!" Mandy giggled. Mary Sue rolled her eyes and jumped out of the jeep.
"I am going to go inside." She turned to look at the boys in the back seat. "COULD ONE OF YOU TRY TO ASSIST THIS..." She struggled, trying to be nice, "...PERSON WITH THE MAPS!" Mary Sue walked towards the gas station store. A neon sign was set atop the door, though only half of it was still lit up. It read: WELCOME TO DIRTY HARRY'S GAS STATION!
Mary Sue grimaced and strode inside the store. It was the lamest gas station store she had ever stepped into. Oh no, it's not like it was small...In fact, it was very big. However, the problem lay in the fact that most of the shelves were empty, and whatever was still there was coated in a six inch layer of dust. Mary Sue walked cautiously towards the candy shelf. She eyed the contents suspiciously. "Mr. Moon's Yummy Chocolate? Chewy's Chewerrific Chocolate Chew? Tobacco flavored lollipops? Pickled pig's tongue?!?"
She turned away in horror. She then sighed in relief when she saw a semi-safe looking coffee machine. She grabbed a semi-clean cup and stuck it under the nozzle. A light brown lumpy liquid came out. Mary Sue bit her lip. Oh well, she could always give it to Mandy. She went towards the counter to pay, but almost fell over when a Sumo wrestler came out of the bathroom. She blinked, but continued on. At the counter sat Dirty Harry himself. He was wearing pants with a million hole in them and a tanktop with huge brown blotched on it. He was really fat and hairy too.
"Welcome to Dirty Harry's, 'ome of the Dirty Coffee an' Candy, can I 'elp ya?" The man said in a horrible hickish accent. Mary Sue slid the coffee over the countertop to show him what she got. Harry rung it up. "At'll be 49.50."
"WHAT? THIS IS THE MOST DISGUSTING COFFEE I HAVE EVER SEEN, AND YOU WANT TO CHARGE ME 49.50!!!" Mary Sue became all glowy again.
"Well, darlin', you didn't notice, but it says right there on that there darn cup, 'Premium.' That means expensive."
"I WILL NOT PAY THAT MUCH FOR THIS STUPID COFFEE! TAKE THAT, YOU BUM!" She threw it at the ugly man. He frowned at the dripping stuff, and yelled towards the back room.
"Yo, Hefty, get 'er out of here!" Then, a horrible blue giant Boy Scout named Hefty, which was really just a nickname, you see, covering up for his real name which was Shandi Mcallister, came out of the back room and threw Mary Sue out the window. Miraculously, she landed in the Jeep. The evil Boy Scout came out trying to hurt her.
"DRIVE WOMAN! DRIVE LIKE THERE'S NO GIANT BAGELS!"
AN: Yeah, so that's that....