The word friendship, here, is not defined as it is in other places. It is not a warm word. It does not bring comfort, it does not project an air of safety. Under the green eyed serpent, friendship is fickle. Friends are allies, but they can be just as easily disposed of as won. Friends can make or break you. Be the source of your power, or of your ruination. They can get you ahead, or bring you down.
It is a sad way to live, if you think long enough about it. Always watching your back, not trusting a soul. Seeing the evil in everyone, and ridiculing the good. Striving so hard for power and prestige that you can't help but hope to see everyone else around you crash and burn. But most of us don't think that hard about it. This is how we have grown up.
We have been bred for greatness since we were only ideas in our parents' minds. As toddlers we did not have play dates with the neighbors' children, unless of course they were able to help ours or our parents social or political mobility. We were not taught to respect our elders, only our equals. We were not taught to love, though neither to hate. Rather, we were forced to learn to be devoid of all emotion. For in emotion, our parents told us, lies weakness, lies flaws. To emote is to be imperfect. And those of our kind are Perfect. We must be at all times be Perfect.
But sometimes, I don't feel so Perfect. Sometimes, I feel pity, or happiness. Occasionally, I even hurt. There are days when I wish that my friends were my friends, and not allies one minute and enemies the next. I hear the words "Forever Friends" and I long to know what that would be like. It sounds so nice. And I wonder if my parents would be ashamed if they knew I had these thoughts. If they knew that that I had fears, and worries, and worst of all, longings. Maybe they have felt these things too, I think. Maybe if I mention it to my mother, she would admit to the same. And maybe we would talk. Have a real conversation for the first time in my life. One that means something. We could be each other's friend. If I could just have courage enough to be the first to concede to feeling...
But I shake these thoughts from my mind when I have them. For I am not of the group with courage. I was born with the ambition, and the greed. I am not meant for friends, it is not in my fate.
For I am a Slytherin.
***************************
AN: This may be the first in a series of four describing what friendship means to the members of each house. Though not if no one likes this one. So let me know in your review if you think I should go on. Next, I think, would be Ravenclaw.