Since I am new at this, my first chapter is missing:
DISCLAIMERS: The characters and any other references to CSI episodes are not mine. I own nothing but my obsession with them.
SPOILERS: Slight ref to Butterflied in Chapter 1. Season 4 post Butterflied is fair game for chapters 2 & 3.
Thank you so much for the reviews, they gave me the boost I needed to keep going with this! I don't have a beta but if anyone is interested in being one I would be grateful. This is a short chapter but the next and final chapter is longer. Enjoy!
Sara lay in bed staring at her ceiling. She was so tired but sleep wouldn't come. Her mind was racing with the details of her earlier conversation with Grissom.
Why now? It was just a dream; surely he didn't think it was significant. That just wouldn't be logical. But he may have realized I did. To me it was very clear. I am dying. Very slowly and very painfully. It began in my heart and seems to be spreading to all my vital organs. If I keep going like this, there will be nothing left. It's just a matter of time.
The weeks passed quickly and the cases kept flooding in. The criminal element in Vegas just never let up. Although Grissom had been working with Sara more and he seemed to be trying, she just couldn't trust it or understand it. They never spoke of the dream or his subsequent invitation. Sometimes he would start to say something, and his manner implied it was not related to a case, but then he would stop and talk about a piece of evidence.
Occasionally Sara would catch him looking at her and try to hold his stare, but he didn't look away as quickly as he used to and she was often the one to break the connection. His eyes showed emotions that were still conflicted but softer somehow. Maybe he was just tired too, tired of the game.
Then he recommended Nick for the Lead CSI position.
The shift was over but Grissom sat in his office absently moving paper around his desk. Today Sara had confronted him. They were alone processing Sam Braun's limo and she asked him about the promotion. He hadn't expected her to be so direct.
She wanted to know why. The reason had made sense to me up until then. It sounded perfectly reasonable. She said it was a stupid reason. I was so sure and then she called me on it. She was right. It was a stupid reason. I thought I was unbiased, always the professional, fair judgment at all times. Except when it involves her.
Grissom's thoughts were interrupted as he glanced up and saw Sara walk past his office. She didn't stop or even toss a cursory goodbye in his direction. In fact, Grissom could have sworn her pace actually quickened.
I can't blame her. She's hurt and disappointed and I'm the cause. I don't want to be the cause of her pain anymore. If she will listen, I will tell her everything that should have been said long ago. I just hope it's not too little, too late.
Sara crossed the Crime Lab parking lot in record time. Today was so disappointing she just couldn't get out of there fast enough. She knew Grissom saw her leave and he didn't call to her. She couldn't even bring herself to be civil, she didn't trust herself enough to even say goodbye.
Sara sank low in the seat of car with her head leaning on the headrest.
I guess I was wrong, let the games continue.