A/N: I warn you all now that this is a Pro-Anzu story that pairs her up with Atem( or as the dubbed version seems to have named him 'Yami') It is a bittersweet sort of prologue to a bigger story I plan on posting as soon as my evil exams are through. It is based on the last parts of the last Yu-Gi-Oh! manga...well it used to be the last until they started Yu-Gi-Oh! R so you can expect this to spoil the end of the series. You have been warned! If you wish to flame, refrain from doing so unless you have a good and I mean a very good reason.( Not including that you hate Anzu or the pairing.) Finally, I do not own Yu-Gi-Oh!.
Now that that's done, enjoy the story. -
I look back, after walking for a while, to see my ride waiting patiently for me with Isis seated in the passenger seat and Rashid in the drivers seat of the Jeep. They look encouragingly at me and I just nod briefly to acknowledge their presences as I take a deep breath and turn to continue what I came here to do.
I walk down the dune, as dusk turned into a brilliant dawn, with some difficulty but make it without hurting myself. I look around and know I have arrived as it looks exactly as it did four years ago.
I stand here in this desolate sea of nothingness, the sun bearing down on me and time passing by ever slowly as I stare at the sand where I had placed my bouquet of forget-me-nots and my violet orchids upon my arrival.
Even now... after all this time...it still pains me to think about the day you left me behind.
At first, I cried and did not sleep for weeks because of you.
Then I tried to convince myself I fell in love with a dream, at the idea of the hero...a perfect hero to come and sweep me off my feet on your trusty steed and we would ride into the sunset. It made me seem weak and shallow as I thought about it...to only love the idea of a hero...
I told myself you were that hero and told myself I loved that and not you.
But when I look back and think...I know it was you I loved and still loved.
As the sun reached its zenith and a rare desert wind blew, my mind wandered and it decided to reminisce your last days with us...
But with those thoughts...also came the pain in my still bleeding heart...
My mind recalled when we were on the Ishtars boat the night before we would arrive at the tomb, when I came in to see you. I can still feel my heart beat wildly as I entered and greeted Yugi, wondering if you watched me from the puzzle. I had not planned on being there but the door to your room had been ajar and I finally realised something; I needed to know if anything could have been between us. I needed to tell you because maybe it would give me the strength to not cry the next day, to be strong like you.
I was determined that night to tell you everything before I lost you forever. I sat down and kept up my talk with Yugi until he asked why I was up so late and did I have something to say? I tried to make my lips words form the words I yearned to tell you since I had heard your deep voice. Yet I was afraid. I would not let this chance slip by so I steeled my resolve stood, opening my mouth to speak and free myself of this pain that consumed and ate away at my very soul.
But as I looked at Yugi, about to form those three simple words and wait for you to come out and give me you're wrath...you're embrace... anything! I realized that I could not say it. I couldn't. I felt I had no right to do this to you or Yugi. I couldn't say it and put Yugi in the middle of this problem. Nor could I make you feel guilty because I know you'd feel that way if you returned my feelings or didn't. Because that is the way you are. I cared for you both but I cared for you the most. You were the one I saw when I closed my eyes and dreamt...it was always you.
I quickly made up something about Honda being sick and needing medicine pills and that since Yugi didn't seem to have any I should return to my room. I left with a quick good night and shut the door. I leaned my back against the cold door that separated me from you as I chastised myself for my lame excuse. Even that had sounded like a lame thing to say to my ears. Yugi would figure out by morning that that had not been my purpose that night but it made no difference. 'None of it mattered I said to myself, he's going to leave you tomorrow no matter what you say...he will not stay for just you.'
I make my way into my room and close the door behind me with a sigh. I dropped onto my bed and stared at the ceiling. In it I soon see you and I when we were separated from Jou and Honda while we were looking for Dartz who had kidnapped Yugi. We were still with the nice people who had found us after the train had crashed and you had looked troubled so I had asked you to talk to me about your home: Egypt. You told me what you could remember and described every detail as if you would lose them if you didn't to them justice. I just listened to your voice and pictured your palace and the oasis in your immaculate gardens.
-It's beautiful; I has said as I had opened my eyes and smiled at you. You had smiled a ghost of a smile back and said thank you as you stared at the starry sky.
-Why are you thanking me? I had asked truly perplexed.
-For getting my mind off of everything, it really helped Anzu...domo.
-What are friends for? I'm glad you opened up to me Motori no Yugi, I'm glad you trust me. You seem to hide your true self behind Yugi...
-Of course I trust you and I'm sorry if I do, I just feel vulnerable without him...
-I understand, I had said putting a hand on your own, but...you are not Yugi, you are you and Yugi is Yugi. We don't expect you to be like Yugi, we already like you just the way you are. Just be yourself and remember we're all behind you too and we also care about you. Have a goodnight Motori no Yugi, I had said. I wanted to hug you but your intense gaze made me nervous and I left for the tent.
My eyes had refocused slowly as I came crashing back into reality. I feel the tears pouring from my eyes and viciously wipe them away as if they were poison. 'I cannot keep up like this...' I thought desperately as I feel into a deep sleep.
I never wanted to wake up the next day. I thought that if I kept my eyes closed, the day would not start and that time would be frozen. But I had to get up because the world doesn't work that way; it'll go on without you. I had to show you that I was there by your side even if you didn't know the truth. I picked up my suitcase after finishing up in the washroom. I got off the ship with Jounouchi in front of me and Isis behind me as we walked down the plank, when I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. I looked up from starring at the boards and looked into Isis's green gaze with tears in my surprised eyes.
- I know your hurting Anzu...and so am I and the others, but when he comes down that plank, we are going to be strong and greet him as if it wasn't his last day. I'm sure he'd be sad if he didn't see you're smile. Do this...for him, was all she said as she walked down the last of the plank and rejoined the others.
And I did exactly what she asked, if not only for you but for myself. I smiled at her as I took my place amongst the rest and smiled brightly with the others as you came down from the ship.My heart twinged as I saw your regal form descend with a look of surprise at seeing all of us awake so early. All I could do was smile and hope that you would stay with us...with me.
It was over so quickly. I yelled your name as the last of your life-points died. When the counter showed zero, my heart and my hopes died. It's not like I wanted Yugi to lose but it sunk into me that now that you had lost, you were to leave us. Forever. The doors at the end of the room opened and revealed a blinding golden/white light. You faced it and started walking away.
I had to do something, anything to get an answer from you. I cried out to you asking you...no...I pleaded for you to give me the reason why that light should break us up...should take you away from me. You froze with your back to us as I spoke with my heart and my soul.
-Other Yugi...no...Atemu. On the other side of the light is a place for you to return to...I understand that...but...To us, (to me) that light is only a barrier that separates us. (That separates me from you!) Yet...I still don't understand the meaning of it! The tears are pooling in my eyes as I continue.
-We've always been together (I've never left you're side) as friends, (thought I wish with all my heart it were more) and suddenly you're going to disappear in front of our eyes!!! (You're going to disappear from my life and I cannot stop you...) I just don't get it! (Make me understand...tell me why...I need to know why...Because I love you Atemu! I love you...)
Jou tried to console me even as I could see that it pained him as well to see the person that had helped him immensely in becoming the become the man he was today. But your hidden tears had betrayed some of your words Jou-kun...
-Anzu...It's alright to not know. It's because we don't know that we'll desperately engrave him into our hearts! The times spent with him...the feelings...all of them. So we'll never forget, he said with his head bowed so his hair could hide his eyes.
I said nothing. What else was I to say? Don't leave me I love you? That was rich Anzu. Send him to the afterlife with a heavy heart and let him get eaten by Ammit at the weighing of the heart either feeling guilt because he didn't love you back or because he did but will hurt you by leaving. Really good plan Anzu: yeah right. I had no power over these events. I was powerless, bitter and angry...and I hated that.
-So let's send him off to his future, Jou said to me.
I could not hold the tears back. I bowed my head and starred at the ground lost and hurt. Why? Why was I so stupid to love you? Why did you have to save my life at repeated intervals? WHY did I ever lay my eyes upon you? I now wish that it had been anyone but you. It could have been Duke or… Seto Kaiba for all I care! At least I know he would not leave like this because he's not a 5,000 year old spirit! At least it wouldn't hurt this much to see you go.
Why did I stand by you? Why was I cursed to care so much about you? Why were you hurting me? Why are you breaking my heart? Why are you the only thing I can think about? But you stay silent to my internal barrage of questions and keep walking towards the light, giving us a thumb up as your leather clothes and school clothes change to your kingly attire, cloak flapping behind you in a dramatic manner as the many items of gold shined into our eyes as you disappeared from our view and from us.
When you went trough the portal I felt a searing pain in my heart. It hurt so much I had to have Isis's help to keep me on my feet. We soon saw the sarcophacous crumble, destroying the items along with my heart. The tomb was collapsing so we scrambled out of the tomb and into the desert sun, Isis guiding me as I had lost all function of my body. As the sun hit my skin, I felt it lick hungrily away at my salty tears causing my skin to tingle but I ignored it.
The burning pain I had felt seemed to have dulled but it was still present. Without you there was only pain. The only explanation I could come up with for it was that I was connected to you and I would always love you even if you were gone. But as I stood with the others in the sands of Egypt, you're Egypt, I held onto the hope that someday, we would meet again and when that day came, I would tell you how I felt regardless of my fears...
As my thoughts return to me I turn and leave this place that took you away making my own way to my future that did not include you anymore...but deep inside my heart still held strong to your image.
As I entered the Jeep, Isis and Rashid didn't bother to speak to me as of yet. I did not expect them to. Isis passed me a bottle of water and I thanked her softly as Rashid started the engine and drove away from my last memory of you.
I stare blankly at your barren kingdom, the sands shifted as we drove by and the wind whips my hair behind me. Isis then tells me to look to my right and I see an eagle appear in the horizon, flying above our vehicle and towards the bright sun; as if it could fly to it and become one with the burning star. As I stare at it I think back to what I had said four years ago:
I sometimes thought I had fallen in love with a dream...
That it was stupid of me to be in pursuit of said dream
If it has already died
But as a smile graces my face as the eagle seems to meld with the sun, I finally realise:
If you were a dream...
Then all I would have to do...
Is believe in you to bring you back to me...
A/N: And that ladies and gentlemen, is a wrap! I've always wanted to say that! Now Anzu and Atem's talk as she sat in her room was made up. I don't know if that ever happened but they did get seperated in the anime while looking for Yugi. The eagle at the end sort of represents the Pharoah and the sun is Ra. It was just a little symbolism to show that she could find strenght to believe if the bird found strenght to dare to fly so high. Interpret it for what you want.This story was inspired by Sarah MClachlan's Stupid. I also do not own that song. I've left the lyrics at the bottom so that they could be read and you could see how it had inspired me to write this. This will be continued! I just don't know when ; . Please leave a review to tell me what you all think.
Thank you all for reading and have a pleasant tomorrow!
Evelyn15
Night, lift up the shades,
Let in the brilliant light of morning
But stead in the now
For I am weak
And starving for mercy
Sleep has left me alone
To carry the weight off
Unravelling where we would roam
It's all I can do to hang on
To keep me from falling
Into old familiar shoes...
How stupid could I be?
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see..
Love has made me a fool
Set me on fire and
Watched as I floundered
Unable to speak
Except to cry out
And wait for you're answer
But you come around in your time
Speaking of fabulous places
Created oasis
But dries up as soon as you're gone
And you leave me here burning...
In this desert without you
How stupid could I be?
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see
Everything changes
Everything fall apart
I can't stand to feel myself losing control
Deep in my senses i know...
How stupid could I be?
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see
How stupid could I be?
A simpleton could see
That you're no good for me
But you're the only one I see...