Hey everyone! Here's the second chapter of the story. I hope you like it as much as you liked my last story. By the way, I don't really want to have to waste too much time writing in alien, so just assume that if Stitch or one of the other experiments is saying something intelligible to one another, it's in translated Turian. If they're talking to a human, then it's in English.

***

It was a beautiful day on Kauai. Especially on the beach, where nearly two hundred illegal genetic experiments were frolicking, enjoying their freedom and happy lives in paradise.

It was a couple of weeks since the defeat of Ban-Kar and the ultimate victory over Gantu, and Nani had surprised everyone by deciding they should invite all the experiments they had reformed to Mr. Jameson's company picnic, like a big Pelekai family reunion. Nani had been prompted to make this decision when Slugger had done the heroic thing of saving them all from a deadly missile, causing her to reconsider her ill feelings towards the experiments and try to get to know them a little better.

Everyone who could have made it did. Mr. Stenchy had arrived in a space limousine wearing a stink-containment suit to keep him from fouling the air. Houdini and Elastico had taken breaks from their budding careers on the mainland to visit with their cousins. Even Dracula (The bat-winged experiment seen at the end of Stitch: the movie) had taken some time off from his monster movie job in Hollywood to come. The only ones who hadn't made it were Bonnie and Clyde (Imprisoned for various crimes), 627 (Missing, hoped dead), 625 (Who nobody really cared about), the pods in Jumba's vault, the remaining four hundred or so dehydrated experiments in the wild, and the ones Hamsterviel had obtained. Little did anyone know that at least one of those missing experiments would show their face at this beach party.

Relaxing on a particularly sunny section of the beach were a few couples that had decided to bask in the sun's warmth rather than play around. These couples included Sprout and Shortstuff (Who had surprised everyone by getting together, though it's not really too surprising if you think about it. After all, they're far too big to date anyone else.), Stitch and Angel, Scales and Melty, and also surprisingly, Yin and Yang. (Everyone had been surprised at first when they had announced they were gay, but got over it quickly. After all, Pleakley's obviously gay and nobody seems to mind him, right?)

Angel lazily looked over at Stitch and smiled at him. He smiled back. They slowly started to lean in for a kiss when a high-pitched whiny voice broke the atmosphere. "STITCHY!"

Everyone winced. "Oh no, not her…" Melty groaned.

Experiment 411 AKA Holly sauntered over to the blue hero. Holly looked like an earlier model of Angel, only with shorter antenna, spines, and reddish fur. She glared at Angel furiously. "What's she doing here?"

Stitch sighed, exasperated. "She, as I've told you so many times before," he said slowly. "Is my mate. I love her. Not you."

All of the other females glared at Holly (Even Yin, who was a little worried Holly would try to steal his man.). Everybody hated 411, and they had good reason to. Jumba had originally constructed her to serve as a prostitute, so she would cause scandals with important politicians and serve as a relief for sexual tensions around the lab. Unfortunately, during a vital phase of her programming he had gotten confused (i.e. drunk) and messed her up so badly that her polarities were reversed, turning her into a depraved stalker. Instead of offering herself to anyone who was willing, she threw herself at any attractive male and forced him to have sex with her. If the male was already taken, she would stalk his mate and try to murder her (or him, if her prospective victim was gay). When everyone had complained that 411 was trying to kill and/or rape them and when she actually tried to rape Jumba himself, he took matters into his own hands and tried to reprogram her. The fault in her mind was too deep for the scientist to repare, so he did the next best thing: designed a way to control her. He constructed Experiment 412, who was programmed to offer an irresistible and highly addictive drug to innocent females, thus enslaving them and adding them to his 'collection.' Essentially, he was a pimp. 412 used his drugs to control 411, domesticating her and protecting the terrified males from her depravity. Jumba quickly administered an anti-drug to all the other female experiments to keep them from falling into 412's clutches and sent the pimp and the stalker/whore to a room far away from everyone else. Despite this, 412 made a good deal of money by selling 411's body to any guy who was a little lonely and willing to sleep with a crazy ex-stalker.

This arrangement worked pretty well until Stitch showed up on Gantu's ship and rescued 411 along with everyone else. Seeing Stitch, arguably Jumba's finest and handsomest creation, in his element as a hero, broke through the haze of drugs 412 had used to cloud her mind and reawakened some of her stalker instincts. She now followed Stitch everywhere, trying to seduce him. She stole pieces of his fur and nails from trash cans, took photos of him in his sleep, made various death threats to Angel, and attempted to kidnap him numerous times so she could have him all to herself. She even had a shrine built in his image made from garbage and stolen vegetables. All of the girls had nicknamed Holly "Ho", an appropriate name for the depraved stalker.

Holly scowled. "What's she got that I don't?" she asked angrily. "I'm much sexier than she is!"

"Well, Angel has a lovely singing voice," suggested Scales.

"Not to mention she has an actual set of morals," added Sprout.

"And she's a lot nicer than you are," Yin mentioned, wrapping his tentacles protectively around Yang.

Stitch put an arm around Angel's shoulders. "And she has my heart, above all else." Angel grinned smugly at Holly, who was now seething with anger.

Holly was about to pounce on Angel and try to strangle her (Not that that would have done any good, because Stitch would have killed her) when a raspy voice bellowed at her from down the beach. "HEY BITCH!" shouted a fat orange experiment with a hideous feathered hat. "GET DOWN HERE AND GIVE ME SOME LOVIN'!" That was 412 AKA Pimp, Holly's lord and master.

Holly growled. "Don't think this is over! Stitch WILL be mine!" she screamed, shaking her fist at Angel before stomping away to accommodate Pimp.

"Yeah, and maybe 625 will starve himself for charity!" Angel yelled after her. Everyone laughed at that.

***

Speaking of 625, he and Gantu were wandering aimlessly down the beach some distance away. Both of them were filthy and very, very hungry for food and revenge. After his extraordinary defeat and subsequent loss of any kind of a future, Gantu had come to Kauai (seeing as his ship sank to the bottom of the ocean, leaving him no place to live) to try and get a new life. 625 had accompanied him because he had nothing better to do. Gantu had been confident that with all the qualities he possessed as the former captain of the Galactic Navy, he could easily get a job. Two weeks later, he was homeless, jobless and starving to death. 625 had been more qualified than Gantu for a job, but he was too lazy to do any work and so he was also starving.

Gantu moaned and collapsed, falling to the sand. Sweat rolled down his face. "It-it's too much. I've gone for too long without food, my metabolism is shutting down. I think I'm dying."

625 snorted and leaned on Gantu. "Oh please, you tried the same thing yesterday so that I would give you that half-eaten sandwich I found in that Dumpster. It didn't work then, and it won't work now."

Gantu gave a rasping cough and stared into the distance. "625…everything's going dark, I can't see well. Is that a party over there?"

625 looked down the beach. "Yeah, looks like a big shindig too. There's tons of people over there."

"All those people must have something to eat. 625…please, go over there and get me some food."

625 rolled his eyes. "Go get it yourself, Mr. Drama Queen. That's what you've got legs for."

Gantu wheezed. "625…I'm begging you…please…get me…some…fooooood…" His eyes closed.

"Gantu?" There was no response. "Gantu?" Still no response. "Oh fine, you big whiner, I'll go get you something to eat. Lazy patookie-head." He waddled off. Gantu didn't move. Attracted to the smell of sun-ripened fish, flies started to gather on his body.

625 reached the edge of the party and was surprised to see it was made up of a great deal of experiments and a very small number of humans. Uh oh. I can't ask them for food, they'd probably beat me up on principle for helping Gantu all the time. He paused in thought. Wait a minute. If all these experiments are here, then 626 must be with them! I can finally pay him back for wrecking my kitchen! He grinned evilly, then frowned. I'd better disguise myself first. I don't want him to know I'm here before I can strike! He snuck over to an unattended beach bag on a towel. The family using it was splashing around in the water, playing with some of the dolphins related to the one Sinker was dating. He rummaged through the bag and found some spare clothes. He quickly put on a baseball cap, sunglasses, a T-shirt much too big for him, and sandals. To finish his disguise, he poured some suntan lotion onto his finger and rubbed it under his nose, forming a white moustache. Perfect! They'll never recognize me now!

625 blended in seamlessly with the crowd of experiments. As he waddled stealthily past his cousins, he noticed that many of them seemed to be enjoying each other far more than they were enjoying the beach. He blinked when he saw over a dozen females and at least two males fighting over who would get the right to kiss Mr. Stenchy and stared in disbelief when he saw Clip rolling around in the sand with Topper. Whoa, I had no idea 177 swam upstream! I always thought she liked 158. Guess you can never really know a person. He shook his head and kept walking past the strange semi-romantic scenes taking place. He was very confused when he saw Hammerface making out with a teenage human and Finder hugging a tree. He rubbed his eyes, but nothing changed. Maybe I'm seeing things. Yeah, that's it! I'm probably just hallucinating from food deprivation. Taking this to heart, he continued on his trek, steadfastly ignoring everything around him until he saw Stitch up ahead, kissing Angel on a beach towel. He felt a flare of jealousy and ripped off his disguise. "626!!!!!!!" he howled.

Stitch looked up in surprise. "625?"

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU!" Screaming, 625 sprouted extra limbs, spines, and antenna, and began running towards Stitch. "DIIIII-" He tripped over a seashell. "Oof. Just a sec." He got back up and started running again. "DIIIIIIIE-" He tripped over a piece of driftwood. "Oh for the love of…" He got up again. "DIIIIIIIEEEE-" He tripped over an empty can of soda. He growled. "Somebody should really pick these things up!" he complained. He got to his feet once more. "DIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE-" He suddenly tripped over one of Sprout's roots, which she had extended in his path.

Shortstuff frowned. "Now was that really necessary?"

Sprout snickered. "No, but it was funny!"

625 got to his feet and ran the remaining two feet over to Stitch, then stopped, panting and putting his hands on his knees. "Are you okay?" asked Stitch, concerned.

625 gasped for air. "Yeah, I'm fine…just need to catch my breath…" He stood back up. "Where was I? Oh right, I was gonna kill you!"

"Why?" asked Melty.

"He destroyed my kitchen!"

"Oh."

"Sorry," Stitch said apologetically.

"Sorry ain't gonna cut it this time!" 625 threw a punch at Stitch's jaw. Stitch took it. It felt like a feather to him. 625 threw two punches at Stitch's stomach. They bounced off. Finally, 625 tried kicking Stitch's groin a few times. The kicks were so weak all they did was leave a strange tingling sensation. 625 looked at Stitch in confusion. "I don't get it. I'm just as strong as you are. How come that didn't hurt?"

Stitch yawned. "We may have the same strength, but you don't have a clue how to use it." He flicked 625 in the chest, knocking him over. "I do. Look, if I give you a sandwich to make up for destroying your kitchen, will you forgive me and stop embarrassing yourself?"

625 thought for a minute. "What kind of sandwich?"

"I think we've got a peanut butter and banana or two in the picnic basket."

625 shrugged. "Eh, I can live with that."

Stitch nodded. "Okay, I'll be back in a minute." He looked at his cousins. "If he starts any trouble, do whatever it is you see fit to stop him." They nodded. He walked away.

625 sat down next to Angel. "So, Angelcakes-"

"No, I will not go out with you. I'm too happy with Stitch," she said automatically.

"That's not what I was going to ask!" he protested a little too quickly.

"Then what was it?"

"Er…" He wracked his brain. "I was wondering if I could join your big happy o'hana thingamabob! Yeah, yeah, I've seen the light and all that."

Angel looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "I guess that's okay. But you'll need a name, we can't keep calling you 625." She noticed Lilo walking by. "Hey Lilo! 625 says he finally wants to join our family. What should we call him?"

Lilo thought for a second. "Arnold."

625 grinned and flexed his pathetic biceps. "Oh, so you noticed my eerie resemblance to that California governor guy too! I like it! Arnold it is!"

Lilo decided not to tell him she had been thinking of Benedict Arnold, one of the biggest traitors in American history when she came up with the name. "Well, I'm glad you like it. But I've gotta go now, Keoni's around here somewhere and I plan to find him before he falls in love with some other girl or Pleakley again!"

"Good luck with that."

Lilo walked away and soon found Keoni, who looked bored. His father was next to him, looking unhappy. He kept inputting figures into a calculator, occasionally looking up at all the dozens of cousins, shaking his head, and inputting more figures. "Hey Keoni, what're you doing?"

Keoni sighed. "My dad promised he'd play volleyball with me, but when he got here he saw how big your family was and now he's trying to figure out much money he's going to have to spend to pay for this picnic." Keoni frowned as some experiments ran by, throwing sand at random people. "I didn't know your family was this big. They look nothing like you."

"Oh…they're all cousins. Adopted cousins. On my Uncle Jumba's side. And we adopted him, too, so that's why they all look different," she said quickly.

"Oh. Okay." He seemed to accept that answer.

Lilo sat down next to him. "Hey Keoni, since your dad's busy, do you think I could play with you instead?"

Keoni looked surprised. "You'd do that?"

"Sure," she said, trying to hide a blush.

"Let me just ask my dad." Keoni turned to face Mr. Jameson and started to open his mouth when something stung the back of his neck. He slapped it, but felt nothing. Figuring he had missed the mosquito or whatever it was, he started to speak again then paused. He stared at his father for a second then said, "Hey Dad, wanna go play volleyball?"

Lilo was confused. "Huh? But Keoni, I thought you wanted to play with me!"

Mr. Jameson frowned. "Son, I already told you I'm busy. Why don't you play with your friend over there?"

"Because I want to play with you! Come on dad, it'll be fun!" He grabbed Mr. Jameson's hand and dragged him over to the volleyball court with a surprising amount of strength, leaving the calculator and the hurt Lilo behind.

Lilo wasn't the only Pelekai sister having a little relationship trouble. At the same time, Nani was talking with David. "So Nani, would you like to go on a not-a-date tonight? I really had fun on the last one!" said David.

Nani looked a little uncomfortable. "Yeah, about that…David, I think there's something really important I have to tell you…"

David suddenly looked away, hearing the whoops and shouts of his fellow surfers. "Sorry Nani, but it'll have to wait. Sounds like a really sweet wave is coming in!" He grabbed his surfboard and ran off, leaving Nani behind.

"But…David…argh!" Frustrated, she walked away.

David was running for the sea when he suddenly felt something bite his neck. He swatted at it and looked back at the sea. He blinked at it a few times, as if he had never seen it before. Then he dropped his surfboard, pulled off his bathing suit, and ran naked into the water.

Nani walked over to where Jumba and Pleakley had set up their picnic basket and sat down glumly. Lilo sat down next to her. Stitch, who had just gotten Arnold's sandwich, shrugged at their sad faces and walked back to his spot on the beach. Lilo looked sadly at the volleyball court, where Keoni was playing a little too enthusiastically with his dad and sighed. "Boys."

Nani looked out towards the ocean, where David was splashing in the water and screaming about embracing Mother Ocean and sighed. "Men."

Both sisters sighed at once. Pleakley frowned. "Stop that pouting! This is a family reunion! We're supposed to have fun! Here, my happy cupcakes should cheer you up. I even put smiley faces on them!" He handed the girls some cupcakes.

"Thanks Pleakley." Nani was about to bite into hers when something bit her neck. "Ow! Freaking mosquitoes!"

Pleakley frowned again. "Now, Nani, you can't blame the mosquitoes for sucking your blood. They are an endangered species after all. They're just trying to survive."

Nani blinked and put down her cupcake. "You know Pleakley, you're absolutely right. And I don't think I can survive…without you." She loomed over him.

Pleakley laughed nervously. "Eh heh, Nani, you should know I don't swing that-" Nani silenced him with a kiss.

Lilo gasped. Jumba gaped. "This is being very peculiar…" he murmured. Then he slapped his arm as something bit it. "Ow! Damn mosquitoes!"

"Jumba, why is Nani kissing Pleakley?" asked the confused and shaken Lilo.

"Eh?" Jumba blinked and looked at Nani and Pleakley. He got up and pulled the two apart. "Er, must be Lovesickness. Very nasty disease where you are falling in love with least likely individual. Not to be worrying, I can fix it in lab." He smacked Nani and Pleakley on the backs of their heads, knocking them out. He slung them over his shoulders and started to leave.

"But why are you taking Pleakley too?"

Jumba hesitated. "Eh, must be making sure he is not contaminated. Do not be coming home for few hours, do not want to risk contaminating you too." He dashed away before Lilo could ask him anything more.

Back at the couples' spot, Arnold was grilling Angel. "Come on, why won't you date me?" he pleaded.

She sighed. "Because I'm happy with Stitch. I already said that."

Arnold frowned. "Well what's so good about my cousin, huh? What's he got that I don't? I have all the powers and stuff that he does. We're exactly alike!"

There were various snorts from the other experiments. Angel rolled her eyes. "Arnold, just because you have the same powers as Stitch does doesn't make you exactly alike. He has more experience with them than you do. That's why your attempt to kill him a little while ago failed so miserably."

Arnold grunted. "Okay, that's one thing different. But what else?"

"For one thing, he doesn't have your gut," pointed out Shortstuff. "And he's a lot cooler than you are."

"Hey, I'm cool too!" Arnold protested. They stared at him. "Okay, I guess I'm not that cool. But…" He thought a moment. "Can he make sandwiches as well as I can?"

"No," Angel admitted.

"Ha! That's something I've got that he doesn't!" Arnold crowed triumphantly.

"So you're saying I should date you because you make good sandwiches?" she asked.

"Yes! No, wait…" He frowned, bewildered.

Angel leaned closer to him. "Would you really like to know what Stitch has that you don't? What makes me love him so much?"

"Yes!"

"He actually cares about me. He cares for his family and for his friends. You don't care about anyone."

"Hey, that's not true! I care about tons of people!" Arnold protested.

"Name one."

"Um…you!" he said quickly.

"No, you just like me for my body. Stitch liked me for my body too at first, but then he got to know me better and now he really loves me," Angel explained.

"Oh. Well…uh…I was gonna say Gantu, but since I only really hung out with the guy because he fed me and allowed me to stay under his roof I guess I don't." He frowned and scratched his head. "Speaking of which, I get the feeling I was supposed to do something for him. But it was probably stupid, so I don't give a damn."

Angel shook her head. "That's what makes you and Stitch so different. You're more self-centered than he is."

Arnold frowned. "What? So that's why you won't love me? Because I happen to be a little self-centered?"

"It's why I can't love you. What's the point of loving someone who is virtually incapable of loving you back? Unrequited love is the pits."

Arnold grunted. "Well, thanks for the introspective Little Miss Psychiatrist."

"You're welcome."

"I was being sarcastic."

"So was I."

He grumbled and rolled over, refusing to look at her. After a moment, he snuck a peek back at her, a little stung by her words. He knew they were true, but did she have to make it sound so bad? He flinched and slapped his neck as something stung it. He blinked a couple of times, and got up. "You know what? I don't buy this 'caring' bullshit. I bet you just like Stitch because he gives you great sex."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "That he does, but it's none of your business."

"Well, maybe it SHOULD be my business."

"…What?"

In a lightning-quick motion that Angel had not expected from the pudgy experiment, Arnold pinned her down on the towel. "I already know I'm better than Stitch at sandwiches. Why don't we see if I'm better at sex, too?" Terrified by Arnold's sudden change of attitude and horrific threat, Angel tried to break free. But for once Arnold was using his super strength, and that made him more powerful than she was and strong enough to hold her down for his vile act.

Fortunately, Arnold and Angel weren't alone on the beach. Before the jealous experiment could rape Angel, Sprout grabbed him with a root and ripped him off of his prospective victim. "Hey, lemme go!" Scales bit him on the wrist, injecting poison into his system. He was immune to the venom's lethal effects, but it still caused him to get woozy and light-headed. "Woo…lookit all the pretty colors!" he said, his eyeballs rolling around in his head.

Stitch finally showed up, carrying a sandwich. He blinked when he saw Arnold dangling from Sprout's root. "What's going on?"

Angel clung to Stitch, crying. "He tried to rape me!"

"WHAT?!"

"It's true. We just managed to stop him in time. Guess he forgot we were here," said Sprout.

Stitch stared at the cousin closest to him in power and number in disbelief. Then his face hardened. Dropping the sandwich, he sprouted his extra appendages and grabbed Arnold by the throat, breaking through the haze caused by the poison. "Listen to me, you little (untranslatable curse word), The only reason I don't kill you now is because I still consider you a member of my family. But I swear, if you EVER try to hurt her again, I'll hang you with your own sexual organs. Do you understand me?" Frightened, Arnold nodded. "Good." He let go of the traitor's throat. "Get this piece of shit out of my sight." Sprout obliged, flinging Arnold far away with a single flick of her root. Stitch went back to Angel. "Are you okay?"

She hugged him. "Now that you're here."

He smiled softly at her. "Come on, let's get you home. I think we're done with this reunion." He looked at Scales and Sprout. "Thanks for saving her."

"Hey, we cousins have to look out for each other, right? We just did what we had to," said Scales.

Stitch nodded. "I wish 625 could have seen things that way too." He put his arm around his mate. "Come on. Let's go." He led Angel away from the group until she felt better and let go of him to walk on her own.

On their way out of the beach, they met Lilo. "Hey, where are you guys going?" she asked.

"Stitch is taking me home. I had a…rather bad encounter with Arnold." Angel explained, not wanting to expose Lilo to the concept of rape.

Lilo scowled. "I knew he was no good. Hey, can I come with you guys? Jumba took Nani and Pleakley home for some reason, Keoni's spending time with his dad, and everyone else is acting kind of weird. I've got nothing else to do."

Stitch nodded. "Ih." The three friends set off, unaware that they were being followed.

***

Arnold landed with a thud back where he had started, next to Gantu. The huge alien hadn't budged since he had left, and several citizens had formed a human chain to splash water on what they presumed to be a beached whale in an attempt to keep him alive. Their efforts didn't seem to be working well. Arnold looked at Gantu in surprise. "Well what do you know, you weren't faking it after all! Eh, sucks to be you then." His eyes narrowed as he focused on his new goal. "Don't think your little death threat scares me, 626. By the time I'm through with you, there won't even be ashes left! And 624 will be all mine!" He was about to attempt a maniacal laugh when the effects of Scales' poison kicked back in. "But first, a nap." He fell unconscious.

***

Hamsterviel's servant followed Stitch, Lilo, and Angel silent and unnoticed. Everything is going according to plan. He sneered. Soon, vengeance will be mine!

***

Well, that was different. I hope you weren't offended by all the weird innuendo, because we've got more coming up. I warned you all this might become an R-rated fic. If this chapter didn't scare you off, tune in next time!