I'm glad you all liked the last chapter so much! Before we move on, here are the answers to the second chapter reviews:

TT, 625 will never get laid on his own accord because he sucks. So there. (Just my opinion, don't flame me 625 fans!)

Mostextremeprincess, Nani was not trying to get back at David. Also, Gantu and 625 were possessed, but Ban-Kar and Ophis left after their sexual episode.

Anonymous Intrigued, I'm afraid only one-and-a-half of your guesses are correct. Maybe less. Sorry.

On the way back to Angel's theatre, Lilo, Stitch and Angel stopped to hang out at the coffee shop, where they had plenty of fun.

"I'm bored," said Lilo.

"Same here."

"Meega too."

Okay, maybe not.

"Why'd Mr. Jameson have to pick today for a company picnic? There are no new movies to see, the carnivals and amusement parks are closed, and there are barely any tourists to play pranks on!" Lilo complained.

"Maybe that's why he did it today. So he could be sure all his employees and their families could make it without any distractions," suggested Angel.

"…Huh, I guess that makes sense."

Stitch drummed his claws in boredom on the tabletop, and then suddenly his ears perked up as he got an idea. He chattered something to Angel in Turian. "Oh, good idea! I completely forgot about that!" she said.

"What is it?" asked Lilo.

"We're having a rehearsal for our next play, Phantom of the Opera, today at my theatre. I'm playing the lead. Since we're heading there anyway, Stitch thought it might be a good idea to stay and watch the rehearsal," Angel explained.

"Phantom of the Opera? What's that about?" Lilo asked.

"A hideously disfigured man living in the catacombs beneath an opera house, shunned by all around him, falls in love with a beautiful singer who's also interested in a handsome man named Raoul, creating one of the most famous love triangles in all of theatre."

Lilo was hooked. "A disfigured man in catacombs? Rock-a-hula! Let's go!"

As they left, the Sunburned Tourist was about to consume his ice cream cone when something stung his neck. He smacked at it and raised his ice cream cone to his mouth. Before he could lick it, he blinked at it in confusion, as if he had never seen it before. Then he got a weird, perverted grin on his face and stuffed the ice cream down his pants. He began shivering from the cold, but the smile didn't leave his face.

***

As the trio strolled down the streets of Kokaua, they noticed that the citizens were acting very strangely. Many people of both genders were making out on sidewalks, and traffic had halted due to the large number of people who were hugging the cars in the streets. "Why's everyone acting so weird?" Angel wondered.

"There's a cop over there, maybe he knows," said Lilo. She ran over to the police officer. "Excuse me, officer-"

"Not now, I'm about to score with the woman of my dreams!" said the cop, rolling up his sleeves and brushing his hair back.

Confused, Lilo looked to see what the police man was gazing rapturously at. "But that's a lamppost."

"Yes, and the most beautiful one in the world!" He strutted over to the lamppost, trying to look alluring. "Hey baby," he said in a seductive tone. "How you doin'?"

The trio stared at the cop. "Maybe cousin?" Stitch suggested.

"Could be," agreed Lilo. "This looks kind of like Hunkahunka's work, but it can't be, he's in space. We should check anyway, though."

Stitch nodded and started salivating to produce a large amount of mucus in his mouth. He spat a huge loogie at the cop, striking him in the face. "Ow, my face!" he screamed. He wiped away the spit wad. "Who spat at me? I was just about to score big time!"

"Uh, it was that guy over there!" said Lilo, pointing at a random teenager.

"Hey you!" yelled the cop, taking out his nightstick. The teen screamed and ran for it as the officer chased after him. "Get back here you little punk!"

"Well, guess it isn't Hunkahunka," said Angel. "His love spell wears off in water."

"I don't suppose there's another experiment that makes people fall in love?" asked Lilo.

Stitch shook his head. "Naga."

"There are a few others that generate lust, but not quite like this," said Angel in agreement.

"Then maybe it's that lovesickness that's going around…" Lilo mused.

"Lovesickness?"

"Yeah, Jumba says it's a disease that makes people fall in love. Nani caught it and fell for Pleakley. Jumba took them home to try and cure it," the little girl explained.

Angel nodded. "Oh, in that case there's probably nothing to worry about."

They continued on, ignoring the strange activities around them, until they rounded a corner and bumped into a girl with glasses and red hair. "Hey, watch it Weird-lo!" Mertle pushed Lilo, knocking her to the ground.

"Sorry Mertle. Hey, how's your nose doing?"

Mertle gingerly touched her nose, which was still bandaged from when Lilo had shoved Barbie dolls up it. "The doctor says it'll take months to heal. You're lucky the courts wouldn't take my case or you would be out on the streets, even mangier than those two ugly dogs of yours!"

"Yeah!" chorused Mertle's sycophantic cohorts. Stitch and Angel's hair bristled. They gritted their teeth to keep from devouring the obnoxious child.

Lilo looked at the group and suddenly noticed a small white creature in Mertle's arms that looked like a poodle but was in actuality Experiment 007, AKA Gigi, a rather useless experiment that did nothing but bark annoyingly, like most canines. Mertle was still under the impression that Gigi was a real dog. "Hey, I thought you said Gigi was sick so she couldn't come to the family reunion we were having down on the beach!"

Mertle looked nervous. "Oh…er…of course she's sick!"

"She looks fine to me!"

"Well that's because she has…um…" The brat couldn't think of any fake illnesses to come up with.

"You lied to me!" said Lilo angrily.

"Well, so what if I did?" said Mertle, putting Gigi on the ground. "I don't see why you'd want her at your stupid party anyway!"

"Yeah!" said the sycophants.

"Because she's part of Stitch's family!"

Mertle laughed. "MY dog? Related to YOUR freak of nature? PLEASE, Weird-lo, don't make me laugh. Oh wait, you already did." She laughed again. Her minions laughed with her. The trio seethed with anger. "My dog is much more sophisticated, trained, and better in every way than your dog!"

"Yeah!" said…oh, you get the drift!

Stitch was about to leap for Mertle's throat when they all heard Gigi yipping energetically. They looked and saw she was vigorously humping a fire hydrant. Mertle gasped. "Gigi!"

Lilo smirked. "Ha! At least my dog knows how to use a fire hydrant properly. Come on guys, let's go!" The three friends left, laughing at the Mertle-beast's humiliation.

Mertle growled and pulled Gigi off the hydrant. "Stupid Weird-lo! I bet she put one of her freaky voodoo spells on my dog." Gigi wriggled out of her arms and started humping the hydrant again. "Gigi!" Mertle tore the dog look-alike off and shook a fist in Lilo's direction. "I'll get you for this Weird-lo! You haven't heard the last of Mertle-ow!" She slapped the back of her neck. "Stupid mosquitoes." Then she paused, blinking a few times as she looked at Lilo walking away.

"Mertle?" one of her minions waved a hand in front of her face. "Mertle? Is something wrong?"

Mertle stuffed Gigi into the girl's hands. "Here, take Gigi home. I have something I need to do." She quickly ran after the trio. "Hey Lilo!"

Lilo turned around. "What do you want now?"

"I just wanted to apologize for what I said back there. I've been really mean to you for a long time now, when you've done nothing to provoke it other than be yourself. To make up for it, do you want to come over to my house for a tea party?" asked Mertle.

Lilo was surprised Mertle was acting nice towards her. "Wait…this isn't a trick like the last time, when you dumped garbage on my head, is it?" she asked suspiciously.

"It's not a trick. Scout's honor." And Mertle was a real girl scout too, so that promise had to mean something.

Lilo couldn't believe it. She had secretly been wishing for acceptance from the other girls for a long time now. "Sure, I'll come!"

"Great, let's go!" Mertle grabbed Lilo's hand and started dragging her away.

Lilo waved to her friends as she was pulled away. "Bye guys! Have fun at the rehearsal! I'll see you later!" Then she vanished around the corner.

Angel and Stitch looked at each other and shrugged. "That was weird."

"Do you think Mertle's finally developed a heart?"

Stitch snorted. "No chance in Hell."

"Do you think we should go after her?" asked Angel a little worriedly.

Stitch seemed uncertain for a moment. "Well…she'll probably be okay."

"Are you sure."

He sighed. "No. But I really would like to see this rehearsal!"

She rolled her eyes. "You could just wait until we put the play on for real and see me then."

He frowned. "Any opportunity I skip to hear your beautiful voice is a wasted opportunity I will always regret." She blushed at this. "Come on, let's go!" They headed off, hand in hand.

***

The old theatre was not that big. The paint on the walls seemed chipped, the seats a little threadbare, and the curtains somewhat worn. And yet the place exuded a grand atmosphere and sense of wonder that had kept the townspeople from demolishing it and building a parking lot in its place half a dozen times now. This was the Kamehameha Royale, host to great plays in the past and current home of an alien experiment. It was this experiment who was on stage now, singing her lines as Christine opposite her fellow thespian Eric, who would be playing the part of the Phantom. Stitch sat in the empty seats, listening in rapture as his beloved sang like her namesake, every note and chord perfect.

The offstage actors finished a chorus, and Eric began his song. He was not a bad actor himself, and his singing had generated a small fanbase among the town's populace. "In all your fantasies, you always knew that man and mystery…"

"…were both in you…" continued Angel.

The next part was sung in unison. "And in this labyrinth where night is blind, the Phantom of the Opera is there/here-inside your/my mind…"

"Sing, my Angel of Music!" cried Eric.

"He's here, the Phantom of the Opera…" Angel began to vocalize strangely, her song becoming more and more extravagant. Stitch was on the edge of his seat, when Eric went and ruined everything.

"Yes! YES! SING MY ANGEL, SING! BWAHAHAHAHAHA!" Angel stopped singing. All of the actors stared at him. "What?"

"Eric, how many times have I told you not to do that stupid laugh when our star actress is singing?" asked the peeved director.

"But I have to do the laugh!" Eric whined. "How else will I give my adoring fans as much of me as they want? I barely have enough lines in this play as it is!"

The director stared. "…Eric, you're the blasted PHANTOM. At least a third of the lines in the script are yours!"

Eric sniffed indignantly. "Well I think I should have more." Everyone groaned. While Eric was indeed a fine actor, he also had a bit of a big head.

Stitch sighed and leaned back in his seat. He frequently wished he could be on the stage with Angel when she performed, but unfortunately he had a really bad singing voice. He was also a poor actor. Oh well, he couldn't be the best at everything. "I can sing better than that," said a voice to Stitch's left.

He looked and nearly had a heart attack. It was Holly! "Wh-what are you doing here?" he asked in disbelief.

"I followed you here. Like I said, I can sing way better than that. Wanna hear?" she said energetically.

He vigorously shook his head. "No, don't-"

It was too late. She opened her mouth and started singing in a voice so horrible, it caused all the glass in a twenty-yard radius to shatter. Stitch had to hold his sensitive ears shut to keep them from bleeding. After several long and agonizing moments in which Holly totally butchered the concept of music, she stopped singing. "Well Stitchy? Wasn't that much better than that pink rat?"

"What…WAS that?" shouted the director dramatically. "Who dares to desecrate this sacred house of the performing arts with such a foul voice?!"

All eyes went to the seats, where Holly was now sitting alone. Stitch had quickly hidden under a seat to avoid notice. "Who, me?" she asked nervously.

The director pointed to the exit. "OUT!"

"But-"

"OUT! I ban you from this theatre! May you never darken any noble theatre's halls with that wretched singing of yours again! Out, out damn spot! I mean, woman!" the director bellowed. Frightened, Holly ran away. "Good, now that that's over with, let's continue our rehearsal. Eric, could you please begin the next song?" There was no response. "Eric?"

Eric was staring in awe at Angel, who was getting a very bad feeling. "What light, through yonder window breaks? It is the east, and Angel is the sun!"

Everyone looked at him in confusion. "Eric, we're doing Phantom of the Opera. You're reciting lines from Romeo and Juliet. Please get your part straight," said the director.

Eric ignored his boss and started advancing towards Angel. "I have brought you to the seat of sweet music's throne…to this kingdom where all must pay homage to music…music…" He stopped a few feet from Angel, who was getting nervous. "You have come here for one purpose, and one alone…since the moment I first heard you sing, I have needed you with me, to serve me, to sing, for my music…my music…" There was a long, uneasy silence. And then Eric lunged at Angel. Stitch leaped onto the stage and knocked him to the floor with a powerful blow. Somewhat dazed, Eric staggered back to his feet, looking deranged. "My music…I must have my Angel of Music!"

The director and the rest of the crew suddenly grabbed him from behind. "Get out of here!" said the director.

"We'll hold him off!" said one of the actors. Foaming at the mouth, Eric fought his captors like a wild animal.

Stitch grabbed Angel by the hand and rushed out of the theatre, out into the sunlight and fresh air. They stopped to catch their breaths. "Weird day, huh?" said Stitch. Angel nodded.

"Hey 624!" yelled a familiar voice. Arnold approached the duo, wearing a G-string and carrying a morning star. "Get a look at what I'm offering!" He thrusted his nether regions towards her, causing her to gag and hide behind Stitch. "Come on baby, you know you want it!" He walked towards them, swinging his morning star at Stitch's head while attempting to dance erotically.

They turned to run and found their way blocked by Holly, who had obtained a noose. "Oh Stitchy, look what I got to strangle that nasty boy-stealing hussy!" she screeched.

Stitch and Angel turned back towards the theatre, only to see Eric burst out, dressed in full Phantom regalia with a cape, mask, and a flame-spitting skull on a pike (For such a shabby theatre, they had surprisingly good props and special effects)! "Angel of Music! You denied me, turning from true beauty…Angel of Music! Do not shun me…come to your strange Angel!" He started launching fireballs from the skull.

Stitch shielded Angel from the flames, singing his fur a little. The three stalkers advanced, wielding their weapons. "We need a way out!" Angel said frantically.

"Don't worry, I've got just the thing." Stitch whistled loudly. "Come on, Stitch Machine!"

In the forest behind the Pelekai house, Stitch's crimson police cruiser came to life. Its engines ignited and it launched into the air, moving at approximately Mach 3 to heed its master's call. Trailing sonic booms, the cruiser landed in front of the theatre, startling the stalkers. Stitch and Angel jumped in, and the ship took off. All three lovestruck individuals leaped at the cruiser but only one made it, hanging on to the bottom as it flew away.

Up in the cockpit, Stitch sighed in relief. "That was close."

Angel gave him a look. "Uh…what was with the whistle?"

"Oh, Jumba installed this cool new voice recognition software that allows me to call the cruiser from anywhere on the planet by whistling and speaking the coded activation phrase. It turns the cruiser on and summons it to my location," Stitch explained.

"Why did you call it the 'Stitch Machine'?"

He shrugged. "Hey, all the best superheroes need cool rides. And every cool ride needs a cool name. I thought Stitch Machine would be a pretty good choice."

She raised an eyebrow. "And since when were you a superhero?"

He smirked. "Hey, I've got super strength, bulletproof skin, incredible reflexes and I can solve complex mathematical equations with my tongue. Not to mention I battle the forces of evil and protect the people of the island. How am I not a superhero?"

"For one thing, you don't have a tight form-fitting spandex outfit."

Stitch pondered that for a moment. "Do you think I'd look good in one?"

She laughed and kissed him on the cheek. "You'd be a hell of a lot sexier than Arnold in that G-string."

Stitch laughed at that. "Speaking of which, I think I know a good place where we can hide until all this weird lovesickness stuff blows over."

"Our secret spot?" she guessed.

"Where else?" He turned the steering wheel, changing course as they headed for their special hideaway.

***

Stitch and Angel's 'secret spot' had been discovered quite by accident months ago when they were fleeing from Pleakley when he was in one of his 'America's Mushiest Home Romances' moods. It was a hidden valley on the south side of the island, concealed from outside observers by sheer cliffs and tall trees. The valley was absolutely beautiful, completely covered in plant life, every rock and patch of earth brimming with every shade of green. Although it was mostly untouched by civilization, like most of the forests around the island, this one had a strange feel to it, as if no human or sentient creature had ever wandered into the place before the two experiments had. The valley culminated into a magnificent cove opening out into the ocean, with pure white sands and rainbow-colored coral that could be seen clearly through the crystalline water. They had returned to this wonderful place many times afterwards to finish their dates, resulting in their first act of lovemaking on the glistening beach as the moon silently observed, only witness to their night of romance. It was to this secret place that they came when they felt especially intimate, and it was to this place that they went to get away from their insane stalkers.

Stitch carefully landed the Stitch Machine on the white sands, stirring up a little dust. A nearby crab watched for a moment, then went on about its business. The couple disembarked the cruiser, taking in the natural wonder of their special place anew. Already Angel felt relaxed, forgetting the two near-rapes she had had that day, and Stitch was able to put the depraved Holly out of his mind. At the moment, all they needed to think about was each other. They smiled at one another and started to lean together for a kiss. Until a high-pitched voice completely shattered the romantic air. "Wow Stitchy, this place is great! Can we have our honeymoon here?"

Stitch's eye twitched. He turned around and saw Holly standing on the back of the Stitch Machine, looking around in awe. "Holly," he said, trying not to scream. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, I managed to grab the bottom of the cruiser as you were taking off, although I ended up losing my noose in the process. I knew you didn't really want to leave me behind, right Stitchy?" She glared at Angel. "Now that we're here in this absolutely romantic place, would you be a dear and get rid of that pink bitch so I can show you a really good time?"

Stitch snapped. He had had enough of Holly following him around everywhere, trying to murder his true love and make him fall in love with her. She had done the unthinkable this time, invading their secret spot, the physical representation of his and Angel's love. He could already feel the valley's magical atmosphere dying from Holly's very presence, as her twisted mind poisoned the air around her. He opened his mouth, about to tell Holly exactly what he thought about her in the harshest terms possible, which would no doubt rid her of her misbegotten love for him once and for all, when something stung the back of his neck. He slapped at it, prepared to deliver his withering diatribe, and stopped. He suddenly felt the urge to make savage love to the first thing he saw, and it just happened to be Holly. He grabbed her off the Stitch Machine and forced her onto the sand, much to her delight. He heard Angel gasp, but he paid no attention to her, kissing Holly fervently as he pushed himself inside of her, connecting their two bodies and making them one.

An ill wind blew through the valley as Stitch began to make love to Holly, carrying faint screams with it. The pure white sands began to turn black, the plants and flowers started to wither, and a heartbroken experiment ran into the dying forest as her mate betrayed her in the same spot where he had promised to always love her.

***

Dr. Hamsterviel's servant was laughing inside. He had done it. He had actually done it. It had been difficult, but he had actually managed to subvert 626's heart. Now all he needed to do was get 624 out of the way.

Then the fun would really begin.

***

…Good God, I cannot believe I just wrote that. I'm shocked and horrified I actually managed to do what I just did. It looks like this story is taking a darker turn after all, as I promised before. If any of you can forgive me, please tune in next time. Everything will turn out all right in the end…

I hope.