Chapter 5: Kagome's hidden fears

Inuyasha and Kagome found themselves drawn back to Kaede's and both were intolerably silent. A shout of joy was heard from inside followed by a firm smack and then a divine giggle. Kagome smiled and leaned against Inuyasha before she shuddered and pulled away. Inuyasha started with astonishment, "Kagome?" he murmured. She just shook her head and ran to the cabin with great haste.  

Miroku had grasped Sango and was kissing her romantically as she melted against him. Kagome smiled and Sango opened her eyes long enough to see her and shove Miroku away. "Don't stop for my sake," Kagome reprimanded them lightly. Miroku smirked and then showed Kagome his clear palm, free forever from the air rip (or wind tunnel, or kazaana). Shippo leached himself to Kagome's waist with a deliberate show of affection and snuck a hand into her bag in a dire quest for chocolate (YUM, I LOVE CHOCOLATE! sorry) or lollipops (YAY FOR LOLLIPOPS!).

Kaede looked up from the fire she sat by and smiled a truly genuine smile, "Ah child, ye are back. I am glad to find ye alive. Now, come here so we can fix those wounds. Poor child, ye need to talk." Kaede stood and ushered Kagome to the fireside where Kagome promptly collapsed. "So sleepy!" she yawned.

Inuyasha had just languidly walked thru the door when Miroku was pushed into him by Sango as she steered them all out. She shut the door and walked back to Kaede's side intending to help her clean Kagome's wounds and dress them. She was unprepared for the thin stream of green pus that seemed to squeeze out of the partly healed skin on Kagome's entire body. She bathed Kagome bruises and cleaned the deep gashes and then touched the faint line of scars that ran across Kagome's back, the tops of her legs, and her shoulders.     

Kagome fell asleep, comforted as she felt safe and relaxed around friends again. Then her nightmares started. Sweat engulfing her, heat and pain, snickering, so much pain! Naraku's face swam into view and she gasped with fear he stroked her face gently and placed a kiss upon her brow. She woke gasping and slapped at him with anger. Inuyasha clutched his face with surprise, "Kagome?" he whispered her name softly and she shook wildly.

Throwing herself from him she sobbed and ran out the door and into the forest. Inuyasha chased after her. "Kagome, wait! It's dangerous, please Kagome; don't run." He tried to remain calm but easily lost his cool, "Wench get back here!" he yelled. She ran faster and Inuyasha was forced to speed up as well, she stopped abruptly and said quietly, "Inuyasha, if you don't take let me go home right now I will say the word," she warned. Inuyasha stopped and pleaded silently with his eyes, Kagome still shook with terror and was slowly walking away.

Inuyasha stared after her hurt written on his face and anger apparent in his stance. Kagome quickly sprinted although her injured body protested she dropped over the other side of the well and crawled out on the other side. She hoped Inuyasha realized she didn't want to see anyone. If not, it was his own fault what the consequences would be. She clambered into her house where her mother greeted her warmly.

"Kagome! I haven't seen you in weeks and—oh kami! What has happened to you?" Kagome's mother evidently saw her wounds. Kagome grinned wearily and replied, "Don't worry about it. Our worst enemy is now dead and we only need two more shards before we're done." Kagome's mother clasped her lovingly with tears threatening to fall any moment. "My poor baby," she murmured. "Kagome I'm sorry you had to go thru this." She kissed her daughters closed eyelids and shooed her upstairs. "Oh and Kagome? Have a shower, I'll wash your clothing in a second."

Kagome smiled and trudged upstairs with unmistakable elation. "Thank you okaa-san, I'll do that." She leisurely turned on the tap and stripped her torn, bloody, mud-stained clothing off with a great sigh. With an aching heart she forced herself to recall what had happened. 'Did Naraku actually rape me?' she thought fretfully. 'Oh kami, he probably did!' She began to weep, slow tears from one who has suffered too long and too much.

Inuyasha would never want her now, would he? He'd probably leave her for a virgin. She couldn't tell him but when they finally did mate he would know and if she did stay with him that would remain to taunt them both. She added bubbles with a detached face and climbed in with a small hiss from the overwhelming heat.

She let her mind float in oblivion, she would face it soon enough, but at the moment she could forget. It never happened she had not been tortured, not been submitted to that or used that way. She was innocent again, uncomprehending to these mature matters. She giggled Inuyasha loved her and wouldn't care. That was love, it hadn't been her fault.

'Really?' whispered a nasty part of her mind. 'What if it was your fault. You did this to yourself for wearing that short uniform and taunting them. You probably wanted it. Disgusting bitch. You aren't worthy of having Inuyasha. Not now, not ever. Kikyo and Inuyasha would have been perfect together, but you ruined it for them. Didn't you?'

A small light separated from her and floated above the water where Kagome now soaked. It fluttered and slowly started to form a familiar shape. "Kagome, no! You and Inuyasha were meant for one another. And it wasn't your fault, never think that again. You are unsullied, you are still innocent. I don't believe Naraku even had time! Kagome, please listen to me. I will always be here with you, only call my name and I will come forth. I will watch over you. You are perfectly fine the way you are."

Kagome gaped openly at the glowing miniature Kikyo in front of her. Kikyo smiled a rare smile and walked—on an invisible platform—back into Kagome. Kagome whimpered and fell back into the water letting it erase her thoughts for the moment.

Augh, two freakin' exams tomorrow! Two! And one of the worst kinds for me; French and math! Nooooooo!!! I'm going to go watch TV, I don't study. Sorry. I'm just too tired to try and make this story turn out good. My first case of writer's block. Ah shit! Ciao guys. R&R.