DISCLAIMER: I do not own Harry Potter, that's JK Rowling's creation.
Parody - n: A literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule. (courtesy of Dictionary.com)
Okay, I'll admit it - I read slash. There are a few things that bug me about slash stories though: a) That being gay is accepted in the wizarding world moreso than in the muggle world, b) bondings are commonplace, and must happen, and c) Dumbledore approving of the relationship between an underage wizard and a teacher. Granted, these stories are fantasy, but it annoys me when this happens.
Don't get me wrong - I'd love to see a world where being gay is not frowned upon. It would certainly make my life easier.
Anyhow... This is a PARODY of many of the slash stories I've read - specifically of the HP/SS ships. Flames will be ignored. Otherwise, enjoy.
Inspired Parody:
Harry Potter and the Parody of Slash
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Harry potter woke up one morning and came to a realisation. He was gay. Not only was he gay, but he was gayer than gay. But it was okay to be gay because the Wizarding World likes gays. Super!
The only problem he had was with the snarky Potions Master. The man was sexy. In fact, with the long flowing robes and hooked nose, he was sexier than sexy. He was supersexy!
Severus thought Harry was supersexy as well. In fact, he wanted Harry like you wouldn't believe. But he was afraid of rejection.
Harry wanted Severus as well. But he didn't want to rush into anything.
Then one evening during detention Harry let it slip that he was supergay. Severus' heart hitched. He tried to keep his face impassive. It didn't work. The lust was burning in his eyes, and it was matched by the flaming green eyes.
"Harry, we don't need to do this. I want to make sure it's what you want. Besides you're a student here and it would be wrong," he said.
Harry started breathing heavier than before. "You're right, but I want you. The only problem is that I don't want to rush into things. Let's just be friends."
Severus stepped in close to Harry and took the boy in his arms. He counted down the moments.
"Has it been long enough?"
"Yes," the boy responded breathlessly. "Take me now and be mine forever!"
So the two of them cleared off the desk and went at it. They bonded physically and mentally. It was meant to be.
"That was a good shag Severus!" the younger wizard said when they were finished.
"Yes, it was, wasn't it?" replied the older wizard.
The two of them walked hand-in-hand to the great hall in time for dinner where everybody clapped loudly for them. Even Dumbledore was happy! It was a match made in heaven!
Man and Boy together. Now if only there was a UK equivalent of NAMBLA!
fin
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Author's Note: I hope you've enjoyed this parody. Please help in the fight for GOOD slash fics. :)