Random Plotless Insanity Chapter Seven: PMS, and the Golden Tampon of Truth

To Legolas, it felt like this whole "school" ordeal had taken days. In reality, it was only a matter of hours. Today alone, he had had to endure a Satantic history teacher, an insane math teacher, and a homocidal band teacher. Then, during lunch, he had witnessed bits of fully cooked food sprout legs and commit suicide, painfully lying in a pool of ketchup. Right now, all he was looking forward to was going back to Bran's house and getting away from all of this "school" business. Espically those freaky friends that Bran and Lily had.
Lily found Legolas meandering outside after the final bell. "Guess what, Legolas?"
"What?" Legolas asked, his voice sounding somewhat desperate.
"I've got good news! Snuffy, Rose, Gabrielle, FSoM, and Commie are coming over after school for a sleepover!"
Lily didn't understand why Legolas suddenly burst into tears.

It was six p.m.
"It's six P.M."
Bran was hungry.
"I'm freaking hungry."
But she didn't feel like cooking.
"Pizza time."
Almost instantly, it seemed like a portable phone materalized in front of Bran. She picked it up and dialed. She ordered four large pizzas, and hung up. The phone mysteriously disappeared.
"I hope you guys wanted pizza, because that's what we're having," Bran declared loudly. A general mumble of consent was heard.
"Turn on the TV!" FSoM yelled from his precarious position balanced on a rafter. Bran did so, clicking the remote and changing the channel to a mind-numbing cartoon.
"No!" Snuffy yelled, "violence! NOW!"
With another move of her fingertip, Bran changed to a violent slasher flick that had been rated -7 on a five star system.
"Now this is good television," Snuffy sighed.
At that moment, the door bell rang. "Pizza!" Came the excited yell of all seven teenagers.

After finishing their yummy yummy pizza, Lily suggested the all go hang out in Bran's room. They passed by Grandmother Rosemary's room (where she screamed that FSoM was Hitler), and entered Bran's ROOM dun dun da!
"I'm still hungry," Rose said.
"I keep food under my bed," Bran responded, tossing her head.
The company looked under Bran's expansive bed (which had fallen through the floor earlier that morning, only to be mysteriously replaced with the floor intact) to find a random odd assortment of chocolate, hard candies, and...
"MARSHMELLOWS!" Lily screamed, grabbing the white fluffy pillows for herself. Greedily, she tore open the bag and began to stuff the marshmellows into her mouth.
"What's so great about mar-sh-mellow-es?" Aragorn asked, slaughtering the pronunciation of the word.
"They are GOD!" Lily screamed, running to a corner of the room.
"May I have one?" Legolas asked politely.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!" Lily yelled. "The sugar-y goodness is MINE!" For good measure, she opened Bran's closet and chucked a brick at him. The elven prince burst into tears.
"PMS much?" Bran asked, observing the elf's second bout of tears that day.
Legolas and Sulel both got terrified looks.
"What, did I say something wrong?" Bran asked.
"PMS!" Both elves shrieked. Bran gave a quizzical look. "Pre Millenium Syndrome!" Sulel gasped.
"What's that?" Rose asked.
"You know, Samuel, now might not be the best time to discuss it," Bran said urgently.
"Of course..." Sulel said, realizing that there were several of these 'regular' humans present. "Of course..." He repeated, casting a wary look at Legolas.
"Hey, you know, it's late..." Lily said, looking around, "we should get to bed."
"It's only 5:30!" Fredrick Spawn of Moose protested.
"Oh, so late!" Lily said. "I'll show you all to the guest rooms, follow me, please." Lily ushered all the guests out the door. As soon as her door shut, Bran began to speak in an urgent whisper.
"Sulel, what's all this about PMS?"
"It's quite simple, Bran... All elves get PMS before a birthday that marks another millenia. The only way to stop Legolas from going completely off the deep end is to find the Golden Tampon of Truth!"
"Well, how bad could PMS get?" Bran asked.
"Sauron was an elf on PMS." Sulel replied flatly.
"We need to find that tampon."
"Indubitibly."
When Lily returned, Bran told her the entire story of PMS and the Golden Tampon. "So, where to we find it?" Lily asked Sulel.
"Back in Middle Earth."
"WHAT?!" Bran roared. "I am NOT going back there. NO WAY! I just got home! What about our friends?!"

At that moment, Bran's door seemed to cave in, and Rose, Snuffy, FSoM, Gabrielle, and Communist Dust Bunny all toppled into the room.
"I guess they're coming with us."
After laying out the whole story to them, Bran and Lily's loyal friends decided to come with them back to Middle Earth.
"Maybe I'll find my own prince!" Rose sighed.
"Maybe I'll find a saxaphone made out of cheese!" FSoM giggled.
"Maybe I'll find a libaray worthy of me!" Gabrielle cheered.
"Maybe I'll find a country in need of my... services!" Commie barked.
"PAPERCLIP!" Yelled Snuffy as she toppled down the stairs.
"Sooooo... all you did to get to Middle Earth was touch the TV screen during a lightning storm?" Gabrielle asked skeptically.
"Yep." Lily answered.
"Sounds a little sketchy to me," Gabrielle said.
"Well, it's how it happened! So screw all your logic!" Bran snapped defensively.
Bran, Lily, their assorted friends, and Aragorn were all standing around the TV. Sulel was supporting a sobbing Legolas on his shoulder.
"I'm getting something to eat... This is boring." Communist Dust Bunny announced, marching off to the fridge. From the other room, they suddenly heard her call, "commrades, you might want to look at this..."

LEGALAN: TA-DA! Two chapters in one day!

MOLLY: Tampons.... Tampons are PAINFUL... PMS= TORTURE... Why Women Suffer, a best-selling novel, What WE Go Through for Reproduction, the sequel to Why Women Suffer. not real novels