Project Sparrow:

When you are the captain of a well known pirate ship such as the Black Pearl it comes with a few perks, like you get to tell everyone what to do, and when to do it. It all so comes with its difficulties. They usually are manageable, like a storm that comes out of nowhere, a merchant ship giving you a bit of trouble, or a rebellious crew (Some troubles are not as charming as others). This kind of thing you learn to handle.

But there are other difficulties as well. The truly strange ones are a little harder to handle, this is when you can tell the real captains from the frauds.

Like when you come across cursed gold: some Captains would spend the next ten years trying to brake the curse. Others would use it to there advantage, and wait to brake it 'till the opportune moment.

Or when the rum runs out: a mediocre Captain might think it was the end of the world! An intelligent Captain would have a hidden stash to be available in a crisis.

And this for example: Some strange lass shows up in his cabin offering rum and wanting to ask some questions. A Captain might run away screaming...that or try to kill her.

I on the other hand, am not a mediocre Captain. In fact I am probably one of the most sensible people you may ever meet. Though I'd never let you know it at the time.

This lass, for an example: I'm now just about positive she thinks I am completely irresponsible or drunk, at times both. But it takes a lot more then one bottle of Rum to get old Jack drunk.

Speaking of her, she suddenly jumped up out of her chair (at which she had been busy typing away at her 'computer') with a shout.

"What's wrong with you luv? Something bite you on the ass?" He looked down at the seat, checking for any bold rats or other annoying creatures (He tried to keep the ship clean as possible, but the bloody things still get on some how).

"What?! Oh, No! No not at all, that shout was a good thing! I finally have some more questions for you!" For some unknown reason getting to ask more questions really seamed to make her happy. Like now. With that grin on her face, she might be best described as a patient resonantly escaped from an insane asylum.

"Ahh, joy. How many?"

"Umm, lets see... blablabla...six! Why? You don't sound very exited."

With a sigh, he set his cup of rum down on the table and threw his arms up in the air. "Listen luv, I have better things to do then sit around answering questions all week. And I'm pretty sure you do to. So, how about you just ask these last questions, then you go back where ever it is you came from, Savvy?" he finished all that with a smile, trying to soften his words a little.

Because, well think about it! If she could appear out of nowhere, and then have something that showed what he had been doing for the past couple of weeks, what else could she do?

And failing that he might be able to get another bottle of rum out of her.

:)(::)(:

Finally! Christ, It took him long enough! Having to wait for the subject your interviewing to tell you to leave can be a real pain in the ass.

See, the 'Powers that be' have a strict policy about that (Yep, another one). Ether we have to wait for 'em to tell us to leave or for them to die. Now don't even think about killing them, that don't work ether. You kill them, or have them killed, then your cut off. They just leave you there.

And you know, a lot of the time if you kill someone then his or her friends are not very happy with you. So you're screwed ether way.

"So you want me to leave?" Just say 'yes' don't listen to what thoughts stupid commercials say. Ha! I'm the Investigator!

Damn I need a new job.

He winced sliding back in his chair as if worried I might try to slap him. Buddy, right about now you should be more worried about me hugging you. "You can ask me a few more questions, and then you leave. Do we have an accord?"

"Sure!" I said brightly, "How many is a 'few'?"

He waved one hand in the air well taking another drink of rum with the other. "Six? That's how many I believe you said."

"Yep! Okay, here is Number one:" Typed a few more buttons bringing the page up. "Captain Savvy Sparrow asked 'Where do you get all the kohl you put around your eyes?'"

"Well first things first. Nice name. Where did you get it? And second, Where the hell do you think I get the kohl?!?! You think it just grows on trees?"

"Well technically..." I said, about to add that, in a way, it DID grow on trees, if you think about it. But before I could say it,

"Shut up." Jack gave me a glare, kohl rimed eyes and all. "Yes I know where kohl comes from, thank you. It's just that this person with the nice name does not seem to realize that it comes from a FIRE. Yes, you put the wood in and it comes out kohl. Got it? Next question please."

That went over well.

"Here are some from BJH. Who asked 'Why did they name the city 'Tortuga'? Did it have something to do with the dastardly turtles?'"

Jack looked confused. "The what?"

"The Turtles! You know! The ones you said saved you from that god forsaken island? She also said that Tortuga means turtles in Spanish."

"Oh! Yes, the turtles! I thought you meant some other ones... Yes, after my triumphant return to Tortuga, or as it was called then, umm, Spitvil, the Spaniards living in the area decided to rename the town in my honor."

I'm not sure but as he got up to get more rum I thought I heard him say 'Have 'ta tell that one to Scarlet, she'll love it.'

"The next question is 'Where did Will Turner get that foofy hat?'"

"To tell you the truth luv, I don't know. You'd have to ask him. Me on the other hand, I'm not in the habit of killing whole Peacocks just for a hat. I mean, just look at that thing! Had to have taken up at least two Peacocks! And just think of the seeing hazard that presents! If not for him then the people standing behind him!"

All right, personally I think Captain Sparrow is just trying to say 'Peacock' as many times as he could think of.

Running a finger down the computer screen looking for the right question. "What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?"

After considering it for a second. "African or European?"

"African or European what?"

"The swallow." He explained, as if to a child... or a slow parrot.

"Well, it doesn't say."

Now getting exasperated. "Darling, how am I supposed to give you a good answer, when you can't even give me a sufficient question!"

"Well, I don't know! Just pick one of them!"

"Don't you think it's a bit lacking in social grace for me to just pick one?"

"Well I guess..."

Jack smiled "Shall we move on to the next question?"

"Okay-Dokay, moving on. They ask: 'Are you suggesting that coconuts migrate?'" Well that one hit a cord, he almost looked scandalized, and let me tell you, it's a hard thing to scandalize a pirate.

"Where did you get that idea? I never said a thing like that! But you know, if you think about it, they could be carried..." He added with a bit of a smile. "Now correct me if I'm wrong, but wasn't that the sixth question?"

Sighing I inclined my head in a nod, opening my mouth to agree but was interrupted by a shout from outside the Captain's quarters.

"Captain Sparrow! Where coming up on Isla de Muerta!"

A grin spit Jack's face, "Splendid." He murmured. "It's been lovely chatting with you luv, but I really must be going." He turned away from the girl to pick up his hat from the table, and when he turned back siting in her place was a full bottle of Rum. Attached to it was a note, it read: It has been lovely talking with you as well, Captain. Enjoy the rum, Myth.

With a swig of rum and a laugh, Captain Jack Sparrow headed up deck to collect some treasure.

The End.

(:):(:):(:)

At this point Jack and myself would like to give a tip of the hat to the Monty Python group. Cheers.

With a sigh, I am sad to admit that in fact, no mater how much I would like to, Pirates of the Caribbean does not belong to me. I could not afford to by it with my two cents, so I decided to put them here (Get it? Two cents? Ha!).

Thank you to everyone that offered questions, if not for you I would still be asking him what his favorite color is, and that gets old fast.

On the other hand, if you liked this fic (And if you did not, why are you still here?) I'm planing to write more fics like this in a range of different categories, so keep an eye out for them! Suggestions are welcome!

Myth.