Lilo had been filled in on the twins' Janus-like behavior. Sadness filled her face. "I'm sorry they treated you like that, Stitch. I don't understand."
"Typical New Yorkers," snorted 625. "Others' pain is their pleasure."
Within minutes, Stitch formed a plan. Thinking as quickly as a supercomputer had its advantages. With that, the threesome went to bed -- albeit with visions of the plan dancing through their minds.
The next morning, after Villefort made Eggs Benedict for everyone, Phase One of the plan began. It all depended on Lilo.
"Villefort," she said in the sweetest voice she could muster. "What do you do in New York City?"
The sugar worked. Villefort's heart was rapidly turning to mush. "Let me show you, sweetheart." He opened the combination lock in his briefcase.
"Seven-Four-Eight-Three. His birthday. Gemini," snorted 625. Stitch kicked him in the side. "Ow!"
The businessman handed the little girl a certificate. "This, my little cousin, is a bond. Think of it as a loan with interest. You buy this piece of paper for $500. It has a five-year term with a five percent interest rate. Five percent of five hundred is twenty-five. Twenty-five times five is one hundred twenty-five. After five years, you turn in the paper and get five hundred dollars, plus that one hundred twenty-five. Time is money, as they say."
"Cool!"
"Keep the bond, kiddo. Consider it a late birthday present."
"Want to go hiking?" Lilo asked.
The twin pointed to his loafers. "Would ruin my shoes. Italian leather. Very expensive."
"Not to mention it would spoil my manicure." Maharene had joined them.
The little girl thought a moment. "How about the hula school? I don't have class today, but Moses is always there."
"Moses is still there?" asked Villefort.
Maharene sighed with nostalgia. "I used to love to do the hula. Let's go."
Lilo grinned. "Follow me."
Stitch waited until they were gone, then grabbed the briefcase and opened it.
625 watched him. "If they find you snooping through their business records, they'll have both our guts for garters!"
Stitch ignored him and kept reading. He finished browsing through the papers and shut the case. The blue alien carried it outside and boldly approached 611. "Hi." He opened the driver's side door.
"We're going in that?" 625 asked.
"Ih."
"I want to go too," squeaked Midas in Turian.
The seat was wide, comfortable enough for the three experiments to sit comfortably. Christine started her engine. Soon she was whizzing through the streets of Kokaua Town.
625 clutched his stomach. "Hey! Slow down! This isn't Kwelterkwan! There are speed limits here!"
Christine pulled to a stop in front of the Kokaua Newsletter's main office.
625 held a hand to his heart. "This thing ought to be registered as a lethal weapon! Oh yeah. It is already is!"
Stitch grabbed the briefcase and took it inside.
Inky was seated at a desk labeled 'Editor in Chief.'
Experiment 626 broke open the briefcase and spilled its contents on the desk. He leaned toward 451 and whispered in Turian exactly what he wanted Inky to do.
The dodecapus nodded. In his short employment at the newspaper, he had found that his favorite section was business. Economics was fascinating, especially the stock market. He had already learned all the terms. Inky looked at one of the papers. It was an investment-grade bond -- Triple A, the best -- of $500 from a very stable and prosperous company. Six percent interest rate over ten years. 451 ran one flattened end of a tentacle across the three A's. The ink disappeared. He rewrote 'DDD' and altered the name of the company. Now it was a junk bond from a company about to go bankrupt. With a smile, the editor began to follow suit with the other bonds and stock certificates.
Stitch added one more instruction, then climbed back into Christine. The vehicular experiment drove back to the Pelekais.
Jumba and Pleakley were waiting. The blue experiment filled them in on his plan.
Pleakley looked nervous. "Is that legal?"
"All's fair in warring and loving," Jumba asserted as he patted Christine. She purred. "And I'm doing both, aren't I, my little boochie-boo?"
625 had dashed to the kitchen to prepare another snack of sandwiches. Midas pulled one from the stack. The entire sandwich turned to gold, since one of Midas' gloves had fallen off. 079 popped the gold in his mouth. As soon as the sandwich touched his tongue, it turned back into bread, lettuce, and tomato. "Mmm, choota," the gopher-like experiment squeaked.
Jumba patted Midas on the head. "Saliva of 079 contains water, acetic acid, and tiny bits of iron. All ingredients of reversal formula."
"So that's why the little ratball's breath smells faintly like vinegar," observed 625. "Why didn't you tell us before."
"Eh, would not be very sanitary."
A few minutes later, other experiments began to arrive: Yin, Yang, Clip, Spooky, Richter, Kixx, Sparky, Cannonball, and Melty. Inky followed behind, carrying the briefcase.
"Operation Get Even Phase Two," yawned 625. "I think I'll sit it out--" Stitch grabbed him and dragged him toward Christine, who morphed into a bus. The experiments and Jumba boarded.
Pleakley tapped one of his three feet on the ground. "Nani won't approve of this!"
"Approve of what?" Nani was behind Pleakley. Inky stretched out his tentacles, wrapped one each around Nani and Pleakley and yanked them onto the bus.
After a five minute ride with minor squabbling from her passengers, Christine pulled herself into some brush.
Stitch grinned to his partner. Together they lifted the briefcase -- only 625 shifted his shoulder so he wasn't baring most of the weight.
Lilo was still talking to the twins.
626 and 625 hesitated when they felt the ground shaking. The unmistakeable footfalls of Gantu.
"625!" Gantu snarled. "How dare you work with that trog!"
"FYI, Barracuda Buns," replied the sandwich-maker evenly. "I was working with my cuz to beat the twins. You know, the ones who gave you the pods? Turns out they were stringing us along like puppets. They had some creative conversations about what an absolute doorknob you are--"
Gantu let out a howl of rage and stomped into the clearing. "Nobody makes a fool out of the Former Captain of the Galactic Federation!" He reached out and snatched Villefort with a mighty fist. The other hand grabbed his blaster. The prey struggled as Gantu pressed the blaster into the businessman's chest.
Maharene was pale. She staggered backwards, only to trip over a log.
Lilo kicked Gantu in the legs with all her might. "Leave them alone, you big dummy!"
Gantu glared. Ordinarily, the little girl's kicking wouldn't hurt, but today he had a nasty bruise from when 611 slammed into him. He threw down Villefort, who awoke with a groan. "Where are 079 and 611?"
"I don't know," Lilo lied.
The shark-like alien stomped away, hoping to find the experiments.
Stitch dropped the briefcase. It broke open, spilling its contents.
"My briefcase!" squeaked Villefort. "You uncouth little beast!"
Maharene read the papers. "These aren't ours."
"They are," Stitch said in English.
"They're worthless," wailed the female twin.
Villefort's face was white. "That briefcase contained all our investments!"
"Ya see," 625 piped up. "My cuz and I made a bet. I bet that we couldn't break and humiliate you, but my cousin said we could. I lost." He turned and handed Stitch a penny. "One Lincoln."
"Our dignity for a single, solitary CENT!" shrieked Maharene.
"Makamaka!" Stitch yelled. The experiments downloaded from Christine. Jumba, Nani, and Pleakley got out and watched as the creatures surrounded the twins.
Quick as lightning, Clip leaped on Maharene's head and shaved off all her long black hair. She burped, then took a nibble from Villefort's head.
"OK, male pattern baldness isn't so bad," the man commented just as Kixx landed a blow to his back. "On the other hand, a kidney hematoma is."
Richter shook the ground, knocking the two humans off their feet. Melty leaped forward and melted Villefort's Rolex watch. Yang burned off the hem of Maharene's dress. Yin sprayed them both with water. Inky covered them with ink. Cannonball leaped into a mud puddle, splashing them both. Sparky shocked them. Spooky morphed into Maharene, only with torn clothes and a dirt-streaked face. Christine appeared, in her cherry-red Plymouth Fury form. Villefort, whom I should mention is a huge Stephen King fan, let out a scream of pure terror.
The experiments withdrew.
"Naneeeeeeeee!" whined Maharene.
Nani shrugged. "Sorry, Renie, but you asked for it."
Villefort's monocle had shattered. Only the rim was left in his eye. "I'm not spending another minute here!" He grabbed his sister's wrist and they ran as fast as they could to the airport.
Once they were out of sight, 625 shook Stitch's hand. "Now we're even?"
Stitch punched him in the stomach. "Now we're even."
Everyone piled into Christine and headed home, save for 625 who ran in the direction of Gantu's ship.
Mr. Jameson and his son was waiting at the Pelekai house porch. Christine, still in her 1958 Fury image, parked herself and everyone got out. Jameson's mouth dropped open.
"Dad, are you all right?" asked Keoni.
"Am I all right?" cried Mr. Jameson. "Why, look! That's a piece of automobile history! A mint 1958 Plymouth Fury -- in perfect condition! Not a scratch, not a dent! She looks like she rolled off the assembly line!" He peeked at the chrome. "I can see myself!"
"What's wrong with your dad?" Lilo asked Keoni.
"Oh, he collects old cars, which he restores and pampers like royalty. It's so embarrassing," Keoni explained.
Keoni gets embarrassed? Lilo thought. He's human!
"Is this your car, Uncle Jumba?" asked Mr. Jameson.
"She is." Jumba's four eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"I want her for my collection. You can name your price."
"NEVER!" roared Jumba. "Evil genius creation and evil genius creator reunited after long period of separation! Only over corpse will anyone take my boochie-boo from me!"
"She's a car, Jumba!" scolded Nani.
"You don't need another antique, Dad," whined Keoni. "Where would you park it?"
"Oh, I've got a space between my Bentley and Rolls-Royce."
"How much are you willing to pay?" Nani asked.
"Do you have any idea how much a 1958 Plymouth Fury goes for? Let alone custom job and perfect condition?" Mr. Jameson scribbled an amount on the cheek. "I added several thousand dollars to the general asking price of a Fury in excellent condition."
Nani nearly fainted at the amount. "You could buy a Ferrari. Or a house! A nice house."
"Keep it!" snarled Jumba.
"Jumba," Lilo whispered. "We found Angel a home, so why can't we give Christine one? If Mr. Jameson wants to pay that much for her, he'll treat her well."
The Kwelterkwanian looked like he'd rather be in the dentist's chair. "Do you want to go with nice man?"
Christine's headlights flashed "I-H" in Morse Code.
Jumba sighed. "May I visit her?"
"Anytime, as long as you don't touch any of the others."
"Is deal," the scientist resigned.
"I'm for redehydration--" Pleakley began but Stitch elbowed him.
Lilo turned to Midas. "Now we have to find the One True Place for you."
"I'm afraid that's not possible," Cobra Bubbles had suddenly appeared. He spoke with a reluctant voice, as if he were steeling himself. "I'm afraid I have to do away with this particular experiment."
"Do away with?!" cried Lilo. "You mean...kill him? You can't!"
Midas shivered and buried his face in Lilo's dress.
"Lilo," Cobra said patiently. "This creature makes gold ou of worthless things. He makes a lot of gold, and people will be fighting over him. They'll try to hoard as much gold as possible. There'll be so much gold that the price will go down. And then there will be runaway inflation."
"What if he controls his ability?" asked Lilo.
"I suppose I wouldn't have to destroy him, then. I'll give you one week."
"Choota!" Stitch smiled.
A few minutes later, everything was back to normal. Lilo, Stitch, and Midas were on a park bench, eating shave ice. Midas was still wearing his mittens.
A man sat down by them, looking glum. He was dressed in long, brown robes, which Lilo found very odd. Men in Hawaii usually wore shorts in hot weather.
"Why are you sad, Mister?" she asked at last.
"You can call me Brother Frank," replied the man. "I'm sad because my dog died yesterday. All the brothers at the monastery loved Dribbles. He was practically our mascot."
"That's awful," replied Lilo.
Midas sniffled and buried his face in the monk's robe. The monk stroked his fur.
"Do you like gold?" Lilo asked.
Brother Frank frowned. "Gold? I'm a monk, not a jeweler. What use would I have for gold?"
Lilo beamed. "You can have Midas."
"Midas?" The brother smiled. "He seems like a friendly guy. But what about you?"
"Stitch is all I need." The little girl hugged the blue experiment, who returned the embrace.
625 entered the ship.
"What are you doing here?" asked Gantu.
"Well, since the twins went home--"
"Forget it. Go freeload off someone else."
"Please?"
"No!"
"You force me to go to extreme measures." 625's square toothed smile curved downward. His big black eyes widened and watered up. His ears sagged. Even his fronds drooped sadly.
"Don't give me that look!" Gantu groaned. "All right. You can stay." And to think, one more minute and I might have missed him.
The end.
"Typical New Yorkers," snorted 625. "Others' pain is their pleasure."
Within minutes, Stitch formed a plan. Thinking as quickly as a supercomputer had its advantages. With that, the threesome went to bed -- albeit with visions of the plan dancing through their minds.
The next morning, after Villefort made Eggs Benedict for everyone, Phase One of the plan began. It all depended on Lilo.
"Villefort," she said in the sweetest voice she could muster. "What do you do in New York City?"
The sugar worked. Villefort's heart was rapidly turning to mush. "Let me show you, sweetheart." He opened the combination lock in his briefcase.
"Seven-Four-Eight-Three. His birthday. Gemini," snorted 625. Stitch kicked him in the side. "Ow!"
The businessman handed the little girl a certificate. "This, my little cousin, is a bond. Think of it as a loan with interest. You buy this piece of paper for $500. It has a five-year term with a five percent interest rate. Five percent of five hundred is twenty-five. Twenty-five times five is one hundred twenty-five. After five years, you turn in the paper and get five hundred dollars, plus that one hundred twenty-five. Time is money, as they say."
"Cool!"
"Keep the bond, kiddo. Consider it a late birthday present."
"Want to go hiking?" Lilo asked.
The twin pointed to his loafers. "Would ruin my shoes. Italian leather. Very expensive."
"Not to mention it would spoil my manicure." Maharene had joined them.
The little girl thought a moment. "How about the hula school? I don't have class today, but Moses is always there."
"Moses is still there?" asked Villefort.
Maharene sighed with nostalgia. "I used to love to do the hula. Let's go."
Lilo grinned. "Follow me."
Stitch waited until they were gone, then grabbed the briefcase and opened it.
625 watched him. "If they find you snooping through their business records, they'll have both our guts for garters!"
Stitch ignored him and kept reading. He finished browsing through the papers and shut the case. The blue alien carried it outside and boldly approached 611. "Hi." He opened the driver's side door.
"We're going in that?" 625 asked.
"Ih."
"I want to go too," squeaked Midas in Turian.
The seat was wide, comfortable enough for the three experiments to sit comfortably. Christine started her engine. Soon she was whizzing through the streets of Kokaua Town.
625 clutched his stomach. "Hey! Slow down! This isn't Kwelterkwan! There are speed limits here!"
Christine pulled to a stop in front of the Kokaua Newsletter's main office.
625 held a hand to his heart. "This thing ought to be registered as a lethal weapon! Oh yeah. It is already is!"
Stitch grabbed the briefcase and took it inside.
Inky was seated at a desk labeled 'Editor in Chief.'
Experiment 626 broke open the briefcase and spilled its contents on the desk. He leaned toward 451 and whispered in Turian exactly what he wanted Inky to do.
The dodecapus nodded. In his short employment at the newspaper, he had found that his favorite section was business. Economics was fascinating, especially the stock market. He had already learned all the terms. Inky looked at one of the papers. It was an investment-grade bond -- Triple A, the best -- of $500 from a very stable and prosperous company. Six percent interest rate over ten years. 451 ran one flattened end of a tentacle across the three A's. The ink disappeared. He rewrote 'DDD' and altered the name of the company. Now it was a junk bond from a company about to go bankrupt. With a smile, the editor began to follow suit with the other bonds and stock certificates.
Stitch added one more instruction, then climbed back into Christine. The vehicular experiment drove back to the Pelekais.
Jumba and Pleakley were waiting. The blue experiment filled them in on his plan.
Pleakley looked nervous. "Is that legal?"
"All's fair in warring and loving," Jumba asserted as he patted Christine. She purred. "And I'm doing both, aren't I, my little boochie-boo?"
625 had dashed to the kitchen to prepare another snack of sandwiches. Midas pulled one from the stack. The entire sandwich turned to gold, since one of Midas' gloves had fallen off. 079 popped the gold in his mouth. As soon as the sandwich touched his tongue, it turned back into bread, lettuce, and tomato. "Mmm, choota," the gopher-like experiment squeaked.
Jumba patted Midas on the head. "Saliva of 079 contains water, acetic acid, and tiny bits of iron. All ingredients of reversal formula."
"So that's why the little ratball's breath smells faintly like vinegar," observed 625. "Why didn't you tell us before."
"Eh, would not be very sanitary."
A few minutes later, other experiments began to arrive: Yin, Yang, Clip, Spooky, Richter, Kixx, Sparky, Cannonball, and Melty. Inky followed behind, carrying the briefcase.
"Operation Get Even Phase Two," yawned 625. "I think I'll sit it out--" Stitch grabbed him and dragged him toward Christine, who morphed into a bus. The experiments and Jumba boarded.
Pleakley tapped one of his three feet on the ground. "Nani won't approve of this!"
"Approve of what?" Nani was behind Pleakley. Inky stretched out his tentacles, wrapped one each around Nani and Pleakley and yanked them onto the bus.
After a five minute ride with minor squabbling from her passengers, Christine pulled herself into some brush.
Stitch grinned to his partner. Together they lifted the briefcase -- only 625 shifted his shoulder so he wasn't baring most of the weight.
Lilo was still talking to the twins.
626 and 625 hesitated when they felt the ground shaking. The unmistakeable footfalls of Gantu.
"625!" Gantu snarled. "How dare you work with that trog!"
"FYI, Barracuda Buns," replied the sandwich-maker evenly. "I was working with my cuz to beat the twins. You know, the ones who gave you the pods? Turns out they were stringing us along like puppets. They had some creative conversations about what an absolute doorknob you are--"
Gantu let out a howl of rage and stomped into the clearing. "Nobody makes a fool out of the Former Captain of the Galactic Federation!" He reached out and snatched Villefort with a mighty fist. The other hand grabbed his blaster. The prey struggled as Gantu pressed the blaster into the businessman's chest.
Maharene was pale. She staggered backwards, only to trip over a log.
Lilo kicked Gantu in the legs with all her might. "Leave them alone, you big dummy!"
Gantu glared. Ordinarily, the little girl's kicking wouldn't hurt, but today he had a nasty bruise from when 611 slammed into him. He threw down Villefort, who awoke with a groan. "Where are 079 and 611?"
"I don't know," Lilo lied.
The shark-like alien stomped away, hoping to find the experiments.
Stitch dropped the briefcase. It broke open, spilling its contents.
"My briefcase!" squeaked Villefort. "You uncouth little beast!"
Maharene read the papers. "These aren't ours."
"They are," Stitch said in English.
"They're worthless," wailed the female twin.
Villefort's face was white. "That briefcase contained all our investments!"
"Ya see," 625 piped up. "My cuz and I made a bet. I bet that we couldn't break and humiliate you, but my cousin said we could. I lost." He turned and handed Stitch a penny. "One Lincoln."
"Our dignity for a single, solitary CENT!" shrieked Maharene.
"Makamaka!" Stitch yelled. The experiments downloaded from Christine. Jumba, Nani, and Pleakley got out and watched as the creatures surrounded the twins.
Quick as lightning, Clip leaped on Maharene's head and shaved off all her long black hair. She burped, then took a nibble from Villefort's head.
"OK, male pattern baldness isn't so bad," the man commented just as Kixx landed a blow to his back. "On the other hand, a kidney hematoma is."
Richter shook the ground, knocking the two humans off their feet. Melty leaped forward and melted Villefort's Rolex watch. Yang burned off the hem of Maharene's dress. Yin sprayed them both with water. Inky covered them with ink. Cannonball leaped into a mud puddle, splashing them both. Sparky shocked them. Spooky morphed into Maharene, only with torn clothes and a dirt-streaked face. Christine appeared, in her cherry-red Plymouth Fury form. Villefort, whom I should mention is a huge Stephen King fan, let out a scream of pure terror.
The experiments withdrew.
"Naneeeeeeeee!" whined Maharene.
Nani shrugged. "Sorry, Renie, but you asked for it."
Villefort's monocle had shattered. Only the rim was left in his eye. "I'm not spending another minute here!" He grabbed his sister's wrist and they ran as fast as they could to the airport.
Once they were out of sight, 625 shook Stitch's hand. "Now we're even?"
Stitch punched him in the stomach. "Now we're even."
Everyone piled into Christine and headed home, save for 625 who ran in the direction of Gantu's ship.
Mr. Jameson and his son was waiting at the Pelekai house porch. Christine, still in her 1958 Fury image, parked herself and everyone got out. Jameson's mouth dropped open.
"Dad, are you all right?" asked Keoni.
"Am I all right?" cried Mr. Jameson. "Why, look! That's a piece of automobile history! A mint 1958 Plymouth Fury -- in perfect condition! Not a scratch, not a dent! She looks like she rolled off the assembly line!" He peeked at the chrome. "I can see myself!"
"What's wrong with your dad?" Lilo asked Keoni.
"Oh, he collects old cars, which he restores and pampers like royalty. It's so embarrassing," Keoni explained.
Keoni gets embarrassed? Lilo thought. He's human!
"Is this your car, Uncle Jumba?" asked Mr. Jameson.
"She is." Jumba's four eyes narrowed. "Why?"
"I want her for my collection. You can name your price."
"NEVER!" roared Jumba. "Evil genius creation and evil genius creator reunited after long period of separation! Only over corpse will anyone take my boochie-boo from me!"
"She's a car, Jumba!" scolded Nani.
"You don't need another antique, Dad," whined Keoni. "Where would you park it?"
"Oh, I've got a space between my Bentley and Rolls-Royce."
"How much are you willing to pay?" Nani asked.
"Do you have any idea how much a 1958 Plymouth Fury goes for? Let alone custom job and perfect condition?" Mr. Jameson scribbled an amount on the cheek. "I added several thousand dollars to the general asking price of a Fury in excellent condition."
Nani nearly fainted at the amount. "You could buy a Ferrari. Or a house! A nice house."
"Keep it!" snarled Jumba.
"Jumba," Lilo whispered. "We found Angel a home, so why can't we give Christine one? If Mr. Jameson wants to pay that much for her, he'll treat her well."
The Kwelterkwanian looked like he'd rather be in the dentist's chair. "Do you want to go with nice man?"
Christine's headlights flashed "I-H" in Morse Code.
Jumba sighed. "May I visit her?"
"Anytime, as long as you don't touch any of the others."
"Is deal," the scientist resigned.
"I'm for redehydration--" Pleakley began but Stitch elbowed him.
Lilo turned to Midas. "Now we have to find the One True Place for you."
"I'm afraid that's not possible," Cobra Bubbles had suddenly appeared. He spoke with a reluctant voice, as if he were steeling himself. "I'm afraid I have to do away with this particular experiment."
"Do away with?!" cried Lilo. "You mean...kill him? You can't!"
Midas shivered and buried his face in Lilo's dress.
"Lilo," Cobra said patiently. "This creature makes gold ou of worthless things. He makes a lot of gold, and people will be fighting over him. They'll try to hoard as much gold as possible. There'll be so much gold that the price will go down. And then there will be runaway inflation."
"What if he controls his ability?" asked Lilo.
"I suppose I wouldn't have to destroy him, then. I'll give you one week."
"Choota!" Stitch smiled.
A few minutes later, everything was back to normal. Lilo, Stitch, and Midas were on a park bench, eating shave ice. Midas was still wearing his mittens.
A man sat down by them, looking glum. He was dressed in long, brown robes, which Lilo found very odd. Men in Hawaii usually wore shorts in hot weather.
"Why are you sad, Mister?" she asked at last.
"You can call me Brother Frank," replied the man. "I'm sad because my dog died yesterday. All the brothers at the monastery loved Dribbles. He was practically our mascot."
"That's awful," replied Lilo.
Midas sniffled and buried his face in the monk's robe. The monk stroked his fur.
"Do you like gold?" Lilo asked.
Brother Frank frowned. "Gold? I'm a monk, not a jeweler. What use would I have for gold?"
Lilo beamed. "You can have Midas."
"Midas?" The brother smiled. "He seems like a friendly guy. But what about you?"
"Stitch is all I need." The little girl hugged the blue experiment, who returned the embrace.
625 entered the ship.
"What are you doing here?" asked Gantu.
"Well, since the twins went home--"
"Forget it. Go freeload off someone else."
"Please?"
"No!"
"You force me to go to extreme measures." 625's square toothed smile curved downward. His big black eyes widened and watered up. His ears sagged. Even his fronds drooped sadly.
"Don't give me that look!" Gantu groaned. "All right. You can stay." And to think, one more minute and I might have missed him.
The end.