The 'What If' Story
Chapter 3 - Alex: The Teenager
[Timmy paces up and down his living room, tugging at his hair and making noises of frustration.]
Timmy: How could I have been so STUPID! I mean DUH! I kept going on about how happy I would have been, how could I have not seen this coming? Why didn't I listen to Wanda?! She'll never let me forget this - oh wait - yes she will, AS I DON'T EXSIST AS FAR AS COSMO AND WANDA ARE CONCERNED!
[Timmy bangs his head against the wall.]
Timmy: STUPID....STUPID....STUPID...OW! What am I going to do? I need those guys, they help me with everything! Not only that, they're my friends! I'm so gonna miss them. How do I explain to mum and dad that my goldfish are gone, anyway?
[Holds up the empty bowl and sighs.]
Timmy: Well, I have Alex now, I guess that will cheer me up a little. She won't replace Cosmo and Wanda, but she might make it easier to be without them....
[The doorbell rings.]
Timmy: (excited) She's here! Guys! She's here.....(realising his mistake) Gotta stop talking to myself! THERE'S NO-ONE HERE! Well, put on a smile for Alex at least....
[Timmy opens the front door to reveal Alex, his smile drops. This is not the happy go lucky Alex he knows and loves. This Alex looks terrible. Her hair is greasy and her acne is acting up, her smile is replaced with a snarl and she's slouching. She looks at Timmy.]
Timmy: Alex....are you OK?
Alex: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm just peachy. I thought that would be obvious.
[She pushes past Timmy and trudges into the house, taking a seat at the sofa and unloading endless books out of her bag.]
Timmy: So Alex...got any gifts for me?
Alex: [glares at him] What do I look like, Santa Claus?!
[Timmy is hurt, this isn't Alex at all. She's moody, greasy and annoyed - like every other teenager on the planet. Timmy starts to understand what Wanda meant. Alex notices her cousin's dismay.]
Alex: Oh man, sorry I snapped at you Timmy. I'm just in a bad mood, that's all.
[Timmy smiles and jumps onto the sofa next to her, it will be OK, she's still the same Alex after all.]
Timmy: You got any cool stories to tell me?
Alex: Well um....Oh my gosh! It was so funny in Spanish today! This girl Sarah, who me and Cindy TOTALLY hate 'cos she like TOTALLY stole Claire's date for the dance, Jamie, when Claire soooo is better for him. Anyway Sarah's pen exploded and this ink went ALL OVER her new white blouse! And she was like totally crying and screaming, and wearing this ugly skirt that made her thighs look fat! But she thought she looked good in it and was going to wear it to the Chip Skylark concert but ink went over THAT too! It was GREAT! Me and Cindy were like in tears of laughter!
[Timmy blinks at her.]
Timmy: Uh....huh.
Alex: [rolls eyes] You can't appreciate it, you're only 10.
Timmy: [to himself] I never knew Alex was such....a girl.
[Alex pulls out a book and opens up the first page, reading a few paragraphs she looks up at Timmy, who is staring at her.]
Alex: (annoyed) What?
[She continues to read, Timmy continues to stare.]
Alex: Take a picture twerp, maybe it'll last longer.
[Timmy's smile is replaced with a hurt expression, which Alex immediately picks up on.]
Alex: Oh my gosh Timmy I'm sorry! I just got a LOT on my mind! I got a ton of homework to do, my zits are making me look hideous, Cindy and I had this huge fight...and...and...BRAD BROKE UP WITH ME!
[She bursts into hysterical tears. An awkward Timmy stands at her side, completely unaware of what to do. He blinks at her, attempting to comforting her.]
Timmy: Um...There...There?
Alex: [in a squeaky voice between tears] He said he like totally liked me! And I catch him asking that...that...MORON...Lucy Barnes to the school dance! And he's all [puts on surfer dude, deep voice] Alex, I like, totally dig you and all but not as much as Lucy 'cos she lets me do stuff and I'm sorry..blah blah BLAH! [back to squeaky, crying voice] And...and...IT'S BECAUSE I'M UGLY!
[Timmy stares straight ahead, confused.]
Timmy: Alex...you're not...ugly?
Alex: YES I AM! I'M HIDEOUS! DON'T LIE TO ME!!!!!!!
Timmy: OK..you're ugly?
Alex: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY DO YOU WANNA HURT ME? WAAAAAAAA [cries harder.]
Timmy: Um...you wanna play video games or something?
Alex: [wiping her eyes] Timmy we played video games for two hours yesterday, I'm so sick of video games! Those games are so pathetically easy!
Timmy: Oh. OK.
Alex: I HATE BEING ME!!!! [cries again]
Timmy: Come on Alex, stop crying, you're making the carpet wet!
Alex: [sharply] You think that's funny, twerp?!
Timmy: Uh..no...I just wanted to -
Alex: Like you'd understand! You're just a dumb 10 year old with no problems! You don't know what it's like to be 16, it's HORRIBLE! You hear me?! HORRIBLE!
Timmy: Oh..I didn't know -
Alex: If only I had like, two little green and pink magical fairies or something to make me feel better. They'd grant my every wish and be my best friends, one would be the voice of reason and the other stupidly hilarious, and they'd make this perfect team and always help me out.
Timmy: Oddly specific.
Alex: Yeah, but don't you think it would be great?
Timmy: (sadly) Yeah, it would be amazing.
Alex: You know what would be great, Timmy, chocolate. Have you got any chocolate?
Timmy: I think in the kitchen -
Alex: COOL!
[Alex gets to her feet, armed with tissues. She wanders to the kitchen whimpering, ever so often Timmy understands the word 'Brad' or 'chocolate', but overall she's inaudible.]
Timmy: Oh MAN! What was that?! Wanda was right...teenagers are...WEIRD!
[Alex is heard wailing and chewing from the kitchen.]
Alex: It'll just give me a fat butt! BUT I DON'T CARE!
Timmy: When I see Alex she's usually in a good mood, so I just thought she was ALWAYS like that! Sure she's cool, but no-one is cool all the time! I don't get to see the other side of Alex, the hormonal boy-hating, chocolate scoffing emotional nightmare, but man....it's CREEPY!
[He picks up his fishbowl and stares longingly at the empty water.]
Timmy: I can't believe I gave up Cosmo and Wanda for THIS! Sure I love Alex and all, but I love that excitement of seeing her at her coolest, her visits are short but I love them. I don't like seeing Alex at her worst like this, maybe it was better when I only saw her every few years....at least then we had fun, and I had Cosmo and Wanda to keep me company in between.
[Alex peeps her head round the door.]
Alex: Timmy, do you have any ice cream?
Timmy: Freezer, 1st draw.
Alex: SCORE!
Timmy: And at least Vicky didn't tell me stories about her personal life! If only I could stop this all happening...wait....wait...IDEA!
[Timmy runs to the closet.]
Timmy: Please still be here! YES! IT IS!
[He pulls out the magical time travelling scooter.]
Timmy: I gotta go back in time and stop myself telling myself to stop Alex going away!
[Timmy thinks for a second.]
Timmy: As confusing as it was, that DID make sense.
Alex: [from the kitchen] Hey Timmy, you want me to tell you about how GORGEOUS Jake Katton is?
Timmy: Aghh! Stories about dreamy boys! I GOTTA GO NOW!
[He presses the buttons on the scooter and hops on, squeezing his eyes shut.]
Timmy: I hope this works!
...
A/N - I'm aware that 16 year old girls aren't quite as off the rails as Alex, I am one! I hope no teenage girls are offended by this chapter, we're not really as bad as this! I just magnified all the hormonal issues we have to make Timmy realise how much he needs Cosmo and Wanda!
-BouncingBall
Chapter 3 - Alex: The Teenager
[Timmy paces up and down his living room, tugging at his hair and making noises of frustration.]
Timmy: How could I have been so STUPID! I mean DUH! I kept going on about how happy I would have been, how could I have not seen this coming? Why didn't I listen to Wanda?! She'll never let me forget this - oh wait - yes she will, AS I DON'T EXSIST AS FAR AS COSMO AND WANDA ARE CONCERNED!
[Timmy bangs his head against the wall.]
Timmy: STUPID....STUPID....STUPID...OW! What am I going to do? I need those guys, they help me with everything! Not only that, they're my friends! I'm so gonna miss them. How do I explain to mum and dad that my goldfish are gone, anyway?
[Holds up the empty bowl and sighs.]
Timmy: Well, I have Alex now, I guess that will cheer me up a little. She won't replace Cosmo and Wanda, but she might make it easier to be without them....
[The doorbell rings.]
Timmy: (excited) She's here! Guys! She's here.....(realising his mistake) Gotta stop talking to myself! THERE'S NO-ONE HERE! Well, put on a smile for Alex at least....
[Timmy opens the front door to reveal Alex, his smile drops. This is not the happy go lucky Alex he knows and loves. This Alex looks terrible. Her hair is greasy and her acne is acting up, her smile is replaced with a snarl and she's slouching. She looks at Timmy.]
Timmy: Alex....are you OK?
Alex: (sarcastically) Yeah, I'm just peachy. I thought that would be obvious.
[She pushes past Timmy and trudges into the house, taking a seat at the sofa and unloading endless books out of her bag.]
Timmy: So Alex...got any gifts for me?
Alex: [glares at him] What do I look like, Santa Claus?!
[Timmy is hurt, this isn't Alex at all. She's moody, greasy and annoyed - like every other teenager on the planet. Timmy starts to understand what Wanda meant. Alex notices her cousin's dismay.]
Alex: Oh man, sorry I snapped at you Timmy. I'm just in a bad mood, that's all.
[Timmy smiles and jumps onto the sofa next to her, it will be OK, she's still the same Alex after all.]
Timmy: You got any cool stories to tell me?
Alex: Well um....Oh my gosh! It was so funny in Spanish today! This girl Sarah, who me and Cindy TOTALLY hate 'cos she like TOTALLY stole Claire's date for the dance, Jamie, when Claire soooo is better for him. Anyway Sarah's pen exploded and this ink went ALL OVER her new white blouse! And she was like totally crying and screaming, and wearing this ugly skirt that made her thighs look fat! But she thought she looked good in it and was going to wear it to the Chip Skylark concert but ink went over THAT too! It was GREAT! Me and Cindy were like in tears of laughter!
[Timmy blinks at her.]
Timmy: Uh....huh.
Alex: [rolls eyes] You can't appreciate it, you're only 10.
Timmy: [to himself] I never knew Alex was such....a girl.
[Alex pulls out a book and opens up the first page, reading a few paragraphs she looks up at Timmy, who is staring at her.]
Alex: (annoyed) What?
[She continues to read, Timmy continues to stare.]
Alex: Take a picture twerp, maybe it'll last longer.
[Timmy's smile is replaced with a hurt expression, which Alex immediately picks up on.]
Alex: Oh my gosh Timmy I'm sorry! I just got a LOT on my mind! I got a ton of homework to do, my zits are making me look hideous, Cindy and I had this huge fight...and...and...BRAD BROKE UP WITH ME!
[She bursts into hysterical tears. An awkward Timmy stands at her side, completely unaware of what to do. He blinks at her, attempting to comforting her.]
Timmy: Um...There...There?
Alex: [in a squeaky voice between tears] He said he like totally liked me! And I catch him asking that...that...MORON...Lucy Barnes to the school dance! And he's all [puts on surfer dude, deep voice] Alex, I like, totally dig you and all but not as much as Lucy 'cos she lets me do stuff and I'm sorry..blah blah BLAH! [back to squeaky, crying voice] And...and...IT'S BECAUSE I'M UGLY!
[Timmy stares straight ahead, confused.]
Timmy: Alex...you're not...ugly?
Alex: YES I AM! I'M HIDEOUS! DON'T LIE TO ME!!!!!!!
Timmy: OK..you're ugly?
Alex: WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? WHY DO YOU WANNA HURT ME? WAAAAAAAA [cries harder.]
Timmy: Um...you wanna play video games or something?
Alex: [wiping her eyes] Timmy we played video games for two hours yesterday, I'm so sick of video games! Those games are so pathetically easy!
Timmy: Oh. OK.
Alex: I HATE BEING ME!!!! [cries again]
Timmy: Come on Alex, stop crying, you're making the carpet wet!
Alex: [sharply] You think that's funny, twerp?!
Timmy: Uh..no...I just wanted to -
Alex: Like you'd understand! You're just a dumb 10 year old with no problems! You don't know what it's like to be 16, it's HORRIBLE! You hear me?! HORRIBLE!
Timmy: Oh..I didn't know -
Alex: If only I had like, two little green and pink magical fairies or something to make me feel better. They'd grant my every wish and be my best friends, one would be the voice of reason and the other stupidly hilarious, and they'd make this perfect team and always help me out.
Timmy: Oddly specific.
Alex: Yeah, but don't you think it would be great?
Timmy: (sadly) Yeah, it would be amazing.
Alex: You know what would be great, Timmy, chocolate. Have you got any chocolate?
Timmy: I think in the kitchen -
Alex: COOL!
[Alex gets to her feet, armed with tissues. She wanders to the kitchen whimpering, ever so often Timmy understands the word 'Brad' or 'chocolate', but overall she's inaudible.]
Timmy: Oh MAN! What was that?! Wanda was right...teenagers are...WEIRD!
[Alex is heard wailing and chewing from the kitchen.]
Alex: It'll just give me a fat butt! BUT I DON'T CARE!
Timmy: When I see Alex she's usually in a good mood, so I just thought she was ALWAYS like that! Sure she's cool, but no-one is cool all the time! I don't get to see the other side of Alex, the hormonal boy-hating, chocolate scoffing emotional nightmare, but man....it's CREEPY!
[He picks up his fishbowl and stares longingly at the empty water.]
Timmy: I can't believe I gave up Cosmo and Wanda for THIS! Sure I love Alex and all, but I love that excitement of seeing her at her coolest, her visits are short but I love them. I don't like seeing Alex at her worst like this, maybe it was better when I only saw her every few years....at least then we had fun, and I had Cosmo and Wanda to keep me company in between.
[Alex peeps her head round the door.]
Alex: Timmy, do you have any ice cream?
Timmy: Freezer, 1st draw.
Alex: SCORE!
Timmy: And at least Vicky didn't tell me stories about her personal life! If only I could stop this all happening...wait....wait...IDEA!
[Timmy runs to the closet.]
Timmy: Please still be here! YES! IT IS!
[He pulls out the magical time travelling scooter.]
Timmy: I gotta go back in time and stop myself telling myself to stop Alex going away!
[Timmy thinks for a second.]
Timmy: As confusing as it was, that DID make sense.
Alex: [from the kitchen] Hey Timmy, you want me to tell you about how GORGEOUS Jake Katton is?
Timmy: Aghh! Stories about dreamy boys! I GOTTA GO NOW!
[He presses the buttons on the scooter and hops on, squeezing his eyes shut.]
Timmy: I hope this works!
...
A/N - I'm aware that 16 year old girls aren't quite as off the rails as Alex, I am one! I hope no teenage girls are offended by this chapter, we're not really as bad as this! I just magnified all the hormonal issues we have to make Timmy realise how much he needs Cosmo and Wanda!
-BouncingBall