Stripping For James Chapter….3,000 ½
****AUTHOR TEARS****
Thanks to Alysia ( superduperducky) for having really sugary convos with me at 2 am in the morning. Oh and go check her stuff out before I maim you ( you know I'd never do that! ::picks up axe: ) AHAHAHA sorry for this being so long. ON WITH THE FLUFF…I mean morally inhibiting storylines with positive goal seeking characters ::snort::….
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"Ohhh…I am never ever EVER using the toilets again, that was disgusting!", Remus groaned as they all (A/N: minus Peter….he went..uh gallivanting?) sat down in the squishy common room chairs.
"'Oh beautiful chair, nothing could make me leave your side!", James mumbled into the arm rest wearily.
"James, come here."
"Coming Lily Dear!"
"Those two-", Remus cut himself off as he saw Sirius snore lightly and loll his head back.
"Damnit, now I have to carry him up the stairs again!", Remus complained interrupting the two lover's kissing battle.
"Why don't you guys just wake him?", Lily stood and readied herself to go to her room.
James and Remus shared a quizzical look.
"Lil…have you ever woken Sirius up?"
"No…I don't have to sleep with him in my dorm.", she went up a few steps.
"Still, one of these days if you have an option to wake him or carry him, you take our advice.", Remus hoisted Sirius over his shoulder in a fireman carry and grunted.
"What HAS he been eating?"
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Night guys."
"Goodnight Lil."
"Sweet dreams oh beauteous one.", James bent on his knees and bowed.
"Keep it up Potter, flattery will get you into some very interesting situations.", Lily grinned.
The two boys made it to their rooms, Remus with a sweat covered forehead and James with an idiotic smile with his mind obviously on other things. Neither was in the mood to wonder where Peter was (a/n: because he's a cockass…I mean….swearing is bad!….I hate Peter…::mumble:: cockass…), or why exactly they hadn't seen much of him for the past week.
Flinging Sirius haphazardly onto his messy covers, Remus stripped (a/n: I like where this is going ::throws dollars: ) into his pajamas and passed out with pleasure, thinking that in two weeks it would be a full moon and then he'd remember what it really felt like to be drained of energy.
James however, could barely keep his eyes open. He just kicked off his sneakers and crashed onto the heavenly pillows, neglecting to change. He hoped that his grimey clothes wouldn't permanently make his bed smell like a toilet.
The next morning everyone was in a slightly agitated mood owing to liberal amount of homework for upcoming testing, and in the case of a certain group, sore muscles from wiping the girl's bathroom.
"Jamesey will you pass the milk?", Sirius asked in a sing-song voice that caused several students to look at him oddly.
"Only if you never call me that again and promise to stop trying to conceive a child with my girlfriend every time I turn my back."
"No deal." Sirius leaned over to get it himself and knocked the milk onto Lily and Remus.
"I knew I should have stayed in bed today.", Lily sighed while spelling her robes clean.
"Amen, it hurts to breathe.", James tried to help clean up Remus.
They were munching away while the daily owls popped in and swooped down to everyone. In the middle of this, Peter (a/n:: the jerk) rushed over to them and went on about how sorry he was that he hadn't spent time with any of them. No one noticed. There was a howler sitting in front of James.
"Just open it real quick…like magically quick!", Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius attempt to help the situation.
"What have I done recently to get a damn howler?", James prodded the envelope with his wand.
"Your about to find out my compadre.", Remus clamped his hands over his ears.
"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! I JUST HEARD THAT YOU HAD A GIRL SLEEPING IN YOUR DORM! A GIRL?!!! I SUGGEST YOU RE-LEARN THE FACTS OF LIFE AND UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THAT SEX EQUALS BABY EQUALS MARRIAGE, I IMPLORE YOU TO KEEP YOUR HORMONES TO A SAFE LEVEL!"
"Oh my fucking god..", James was leaning his head on the table and banging it slowly.
"That wasn't to bad…"
"Definitely could've been worse."
Remus and Sirius burst into laughter and had to suffer Lily's murderous glare as James' head banging intensified.
Lily looked around the Great Hall. Most people decided to politely ignore the embarrassing moment as a favor to the two Heads. The whole of the Slytherin table however, were nearly dying from cackling.
After breakfast Lily, Remus, and Peter headed towards divination class. Sirius dragged a sullen James to Care of Magical Creatures, all the while hexing James with cheering charms to try and lift his mood.
"Lil…is the key house of Jupiter revolving?", Remus squinted in the dark perfumed air trying to read his notes.
"I have no idea…"
"Class, today we will be reading…Love lines!", The divinations teacher paused for dramatic effect. It had no desirable reactions seeing as everyone was basically in a mindless stupor from the thick wafts of incense.
"Pair off and begin!"
Lily and Remus scooted closer leaving Peter to wander around to all the tables looking for a partner (a/n: bastard!).
"Okay Rem…it appears you have a weak love line owing to the fact that..", Lily checked her text. "Owing to that fact that you leave monthly? What the hell does that mean?"
"Erm…", Remus snatched back his hand and felt decidedly uncomfortable.
Just then, Peter tripped on one of the poufs and went sailing in the air.
(SLOW-MO)
"PPPPRRRROOOFFFFFEEEEESSSSSSOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR WATCHHHH OUTTTTT!"
Proffessor Gingy (a/n: that popped into my head ahahahaah) tried to dive out of the way. The flying teenager flailed his arms as if to slow himself.
"NOOOOOOOOO!", the Proffessor screamed and braced herself for impact.
(BACK TO NORMAL TIME)
KAPOW! (a/n: ohhhh I like the batman-esque sounds…let's add more just for fun ::mad laugh: ) BIFF! KABLAM! CRASH!
"Oh my god! Are you okay Proffessor? Professor?!", Peter scrambled off her and shook her shoulders.
She was knocked out cold. (a/n:: SMACKED DOWN! KO-ed!)
Peter and another boy helped to carry her down to the infirmary. The students hustled to leave the room before she came back to consciousness and ordered them back.
"Weird…You would think she'd see THAT coming.", Remus mused as he slung his bag over his shoulder.
"You know, I think her foreseeing everyone's demise, death, and doom might have clouded her inner-eye.", Lily smiled.
"Well, just in case she asks what your palm said..", Remus quickly scanned over her hand and checked his book. "You'll have a son within two years."
"WHAT?!", Lily snatched the book from him and read the prophecy and looked at her palm.
"No no no dear friend, that line looks more like THIS one. So that means I'll…I'll apparently become a man?"
"Yeah that's a lot better, maybe you should tell James he's a daddy?", Remus ducked as Lily made to slap him.
*************
"Oh baby, let's never go to classes again.", James moaned into Lily's hair as they sat in her dorm room.
"Teasing was that bad huh?", she patted him sympathetically.
"Yes.", his reply was muffled by her head.
"Well…maybe I should make it up to you.", he pulled away and grinned at her.
"Maybe you should. See the reason I got yelled at was because a certain someone was in my dorm. I just wish I did all the things people thought we did.", James pouted and looked at her.
"Well Mr.Potter, perhaps I may help you…", She put a locking charm on the door and gave a toothy grin.
"Why Ms. Evans, I do believe you are trying to seduce me you little vixen!", James moved closer and wrapped his arms around her slender waist.
"Yes, Mr. Potter, I am seducing you. Any complaints?", she whispered into his ear softly.
"None from this side!", James tossed her on the bed and jumped after her.
"James! Quiet or they'll hear us!", Lily giggled as he stripped off his shirt ruffling his hair to a standing point.
"Oh yeah, almost forgot.", James put a silencing charm on the door.
*****************************
"Where are they?", Sirius whined as Remus shook his head.
"I don't know, Prongs was supposed to meet us here to go down to the kitchens 20 minutes ago."
"Well I'm bored let's just go by ourselves!", Sirius got his bag ready and was about to walk towards the portrait hole when a interesting thing caught his eye.
"Oh Moony my closes friend…", Sirius picked up the thing.
"What Padfoot?"
"Why do you suppose Prongs' schoolbag is on the steps to the girls dorm?"
They didn't have time to discuss that however, because Lily and James had appeared walking towards them from the top of the stairs. James had a look of idiotic satisfaction on his face, and had very VERY messy hair. Messy even by his standards. Lily was tugging on her skirt and attempting to fix her smeared lipstick . She had a slight blush on her cheeks and had pieces of flyway hair all over.
"Well well…have a fun studying session Prongsie boy?", Sirius' eyes twinkled and James groaned inwardly.
"Yeah."
"Pray tell, whatever did you hard working scholars study this fine day?", Remus elbowed Sirius.
"If you're done harassing us for perfectly innocent study sessions then me and Lily will go to our head meeting now.", James scoffed and grabbed a now deeply blushing Lily's hand.
As soon as they left, Peter came walking over.
"That was strange, I hope he remembers that SEX EQUALS BABIES EQUALS MARRIGE!", Sirius screeched snapping many working Gryffindors out of their homework to glare at him.
*************************AUTHOR CHA CHA*************
Wow, I got really stuck here…um I'm not quite sure how much descriptions I could put in a R rated thingy…but they didn't do IT…not yet anyways ::sinister laugh::…Sorry this chapter is crap ,and is you review then I'll mentally send you out good luck. ::smiles:: ^_^ LOVIES!
P.s. sorry I used their names so much…it was really frustrating ::sigh:: Lily Remus James and Sirius…I typed that about 10 million times..
****AUTHOR TEARS****
Thanks to Alysia ( superduperducky) for having really sugary convos with me at 2 am in the morning. Oh and go check her stuff out before I maim you ( you know I'd never do that! ::picks up axe: ) AHAHAHA sorry for this being so long. ON WITH THE FLUFF…I mean morally inhibiting storylines with positive goal seeking characters ::snort::….
******************************************************************************
"Ohhh…I am never ever EVER using the toilets again, that was disgusting!", Remus groaned as they all (A/N: minus Peter….he went..uh gallivanting?) sat down in the squishy common room chairs.
"'Oh beautiful chair, nothing could make me leave your side!", James mumbled into the arm rest wearily.
"James, come here."
"Coming Lily Dear!"
"Those two-", Remus cut himself off as he saw Sirius snore lightly and loll his head back.
"Damnit, now I have to carry him up the stairs again!", Remus complained interrupting the two lover's kissing battle.
"Why don't you guys just wake him?", Lily stood and readied herself to go to her room.
James and Remus shared a quizzical look.
"Lil…have you ever woken Sirius up?"
"No…I don't have to sleep with him in my dorm.", she went up a few steps.
"Still, one of these days if you have an option to wake him or carry him, you take our advice.", Remus hoisted Sirius over his shoulder in a fireman carry and grunted.
"What HAS he been eating?"
Lily rolled her eyes.
"Night guys."
"Goodnight Lil."
"Sweet dreams oh beauteous one.", James bent on his knees and bowed.
"Keep it up Potter, flattery will get you into some very interesting situations.", Lily grinned.
The two boys made it to their rooms, Remus with a sweat covered forehead and James with an idiotic smile with his mind obviously on other things. Neither was in the mood to wonder where Peter was (a/n: because he's a cockass…I mean….swearing is bad!….I hate Peter…::mumble:: cockass…), or why exactly they hadn't seen much of him for the past week.
Flinging Sirius haphazardly onto his messy covers, Remus stripped (a/n: I like where this is going ::throws dollars: ) into his pajamas and passed out with pleasure, thinking that in two weeks it would be a full moon and then he'd remember what it really felt like to be drained of energy.
James however, could barely keep his eyes open. He just kicked off his sneakers and crashed onto the heavenly pillows, neglecting to change. He hoped that his grimey clothes wouldn't permanently make his bed smell like a toilet.
The next morning everyone was in a slightly agitated mood owing to liberal amount of homework for upcoming testing, and in the case of a certain group, sore muscles from wiping the girl's bathroom.
"Jamesey will you pass the milk?", Sirius asked in a sing-song voice that caused several students to look at him oddly.
"Only if you never call me that again and promise to stop trying to conceive a child with my girlfriend every time I turn my back."
"No deal." Sirius leaned over to get it himself and knocked the milk onto Lily and Remus.
"I knew I should have stayed in bed today.", Lily sighed while spelling her robes clean.
"Amen, it hurts to breathe.", James tried to help clean up Remus.
They were munching away while the daily owls popped in and swooped down to everyone. In the middle of this, Peter (a/n:: the jerk) rushed over to them and went on about how sorry he was that he hadn't spent time with any of them. No one noticed. There was a howler sitting in front of James.
"Just open it real quick…like magically quick!", Lily rolled her eyes at Sirius attempt to help the situation.
"What have I done recently to get a damn howler?", James prodded the envelope with his wand.
"Your about to find out my compadre.", Remus clamped his hands over his ears.
"JAMES HAROLD POTTER! I JUST HEARD THAT YOU HAD A GIRL SLEEPING IN YOUR DORM! A GIRL?!!! I SUGGEST YOU RE-LEARN THE FACTS OF LIFE AND UNTIL YOU UNDERSTAND THAT SEX EQUALS BABY EQUALS MARRIAGE, I IMPLORE YOU TO KEEP YOUR HORMONES TO A SAFE LEVEL!"
"Oh my fucking god..", James was leaning his head on the table and banging it slowly.
"That wasn't to bad…"
"Definitely could've been worse."
Remus and Sirius burst into laughter and had to suffer Lily's murderous glare as James' head banging intensified.
Lily looked around the Great Hall. Most people decided to politely ignore the embarrassing moment as a favor to the two Heads. The whole of the Slytherin table however, were nearly dying from cackling.
After breakfast Lily, Remus, and Peter headed towards divination class. Sirius dragged a sullen James to Care of Magical Creatures, all the while hexing James with cheering charms to try and lift his mood.
"Lil…is the key house of Jupiter revolving?", Remus squinted in the dark perfumed air trying to read his notes.
"I have no idea…"
"Class, today we will be reading…Love lines!", The divinations teacher paused for dramatic effect. It had no desirable reactions seeing as everyone was basically in a mindless stupor from the thick wafts of incense.
"Pair off and begin!"
Lily and Remus scooted closer leaving Peter to wander around to all the tables looking for a partner (a/n: bastard!).
"Okay Rem…it appears you have a weak love line owing to the fact that..", Lily checked her text. "Owing to that fact that you leave monthly? What the hell does that mean?"
"Erm…", Remus snatched back his hand and felt decidedly uncomfortable.
Just then, Peter tripped on one of the poufs and went sailing in the air.
(SLOW-MO)
"PPPPRRRROOOFFFFFEEEEESSSSSSOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRR WATCHHHH OUTTTTT!"
Proffessor Gingy (a/n: that popped into my head ahahahaah) tried to dive out of the way. The flying teenager flailed his arms as if to slow himself.
"NOOOOOOOOO!", the Proffessor screamed and braced herself for impact.
(BACK TO NORMAL TIME)
KAPOW! (a/n: ohhhh I like the batman-esque sounds…let's add more just for fun ::mad laugh: ) BIFF! KABLAM! CRASH!
"Oh my god! Are you okay Proffessor? Professor?!", Peter scrambled off her and shook her shoulders.
She was knocked out cold. (a/n:: SMACKED DOWN! KO-ed!)
Peter and another boy helped to carry her down to the infirmary. The students hustled to leave the room before she came back to consciousness and ordered them back.
"Weird…You would think she'd see THAT coming.", Remus mused as he slung his bag over his shoulder.
"You know, I think her foreseeing everyone's demise, death, and doom might have clouded her inner-eye.", Lily smiled.
"Well, just in case she asks what your palm said..", Remus quickly scanned over her hand and checked his book. "You'll have a son within two years."
"WHAT?!", Lily snatched the book from him and read the prophecy and looked at her palm.
"No no no dear friend, that line looks more like THIS one. So that means I'll…I'll apparently become a man?"
"Yeah that's a lot better, maybe you should tell James he's a daddy?", Remus ducked as Lily made to slap him.
*************
"Oh baby, let's never go to classes again.", James moaned into Lily's hair as they sat in her dorm room.
"Teasing was that bad huh?", she patted him sympathetically.
"Yes.", his reply was muffled by her head.
"Well…maybe I should make it up to you.", he pulled away and grinned at her.
"Maybe you should. See the reason I got yelled at was because a certain someone was in my dorm. I just wish I did all the things people thought we did.", James pouted and looked at her.
"Well Mr.Potter, perhaps I may help you…", She put a locking charm on the door and gave a toothy grin.
"Why Ms. Evans, I do believe you are trying to seduce me you little vixen!", James moved closer and wrapped his arms around her slender waist.
"Yes, Mr. Potter, I am seducing you. Any complaints?", she whispered into his ear softly.
"None from this side!", James tossed her on the bed and jumped after her.
"James! Quiet or they'll hear us!", Lily giggled as he stripped off his shirt ruffling his hair to a standing point.
"Oh yeah, almost forgot.", James put a silencing charm on the door.
*****************************
"Where are they?", Sirius whined as Remus shook his head.
"I don't know, Prongs was supposed to meet us here to go down to the kitchens 20 minutes ago."
"Well I'm bored let's just go by ourselves!", Sirius got his bag ready and was about to walk towards the portrait hole when a interesting thing caught his eye.
"Oh Moony my closes friend…", Sirius picked up the thing.
"What Padfoot?"
"Why do you suppose Prongs' schoolbag is on the steps to the girls dorm?"
They didn't have time to discuss that however, because Lily and James had appeared walking towards them from the top of the stairs. James had a look of idiotic satisfaction on his face, and had very VERY messy hair. Messy even by his standards. Lily was tugging on her skirt and attempting to fix her smeared lipstick . She had a slight blush on her cheeks and had pieces of flyway hair all over.
"Well well…have a fun studying session Prongsie boy?", Sirius' eyes twinkled and James groaned inwardly.
"Yeah."
"Pray tell, whatever did you hard working scholars study this fine day?", Remus elbowed Sirius.
"If you're done harassing us for perfectly innocent study sessions then me and Lily will go to our head meeting now.", James scoffed and grabbed a now deeply blushing Lily's hand.
As soon as they left, Peter came walking over.
"That was strange, I hope he remembers that SEX EQUALS BABIES EQUALS MARRIGE!", Sirius screeched snapping many working Gryffindors out of their homework to glare at him.
*************************AUTHOR CHA CHA*************
Wow, I got really stuck here…um I'm not quite sure how much descriptions I could put in a R rated thingy…but they didn't do IT…not yet anyways ::sinister laugh::…Sorry this chapter is crap ,and is you review then I'll mentally send you out good luck. ::smiles:: ^_^ LOVIES!
P.s. sorry I used their names so much…it was really frustrating ::sigh:: Lily Remus James and Sirius…I typed that about 10 million times..