Author's Note: First of all, I must ask you to get down on your knees and BOW TO TROLLEY AND KATTABEAN, because now, because of them ... I CAN DO BOLD AND ITALICS! YAY YAY YAY!!! I am soooo incredibly excited. Don't be surprised if everything in this chapter is in bold and italics; I'm having way too much fun with this.
Disclaimer: You know the drill.
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I have possibly the most boring life in the universe (besides that of a fruit fly, but let's not get into that). My Saturday mornings are usually spent DOING HOMEWORK. Is that not the most tragic thing you have ever heard?
Well this morning, I decided to do something NEW and EXCITING! I was going to WALK THE DOG!!!
"Mom, I'm walking Krypto, k?" I called as I got out the leash.
"Mm-hmm." She was in the office, working for a change. I clipped the leash onto Krypto's collar and the pair of us headed down the hall.
"Gabriel?" she said suddenly. I stopped in front of the open door to the office. She didn't look up from her work. "Be careful. And don't invite your friend --- Adrienne James? --- to go with you. She worries me sometimes."
"K, mom, see you later." I left our large house and made my way over to Adrienne's house to invite her to come with me.
Adrienne is an interesting person. She's the kind of girl who plays about ten different sports, never wears anything but jeans and a t-shirt, and sings in an extremely off key voice in the shower. (And I have actual PROOF of that; one time I called her house to ask her about some homework assignment, and her younger brother Teddy answered the phone. He told me that Adrienne was in the shower, and I could clearly hear in the background "ARABIAN NIIIIIIIIIIIGHTS, LIKE ARABIAN DAAAAAAAAAYS! MORE OFTEN THAN NOT ARE HOTTER THAN HOT IN A LOT OF GOOD WAAAAAAYS!" It was hysterical. I'm still teasing her about it.)
I buzzed her in her apartment and asked if she would come down and walk the dog with me. "It's a crisp, blustery autumn day!" I sang. "I would break down and cry if you were to miss it!"
"Spot, you are the weirdest person I have ever met," she said through the speaker.
"I know. But will you come out?"
"Yeah, sure. Be there in a minute."
I then sat down on the sidewalk and watched as Krypto lifted his leg to somebody's bicycle and peed on it. Adrienne appeared after a minute or two, wearing a gray t-shirt with "THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS" across the chest and a pair of blue jeans. She's really very pretty, with long dark hair and gray eyes. If she wanted to she could be very popular. I tell her she's too socially oriented. She tells me I am anti-social. We're best friends.
"Ah, what a lovely crisp, blustery autumn day!" she exclaimed, grinning at me.
"Don't mock me. You would never have come out had I not gotten all poetic on you," I said seriously.
She laughed. "Well, where to, Emily Dickinson?"
"Where do you THINK we are going?"
"I honestly have no idea." She knew. She just likes to be a retard.
The three of us walked down the street, passing back and fourth Adrienne's little pack of M&M's that she had brought. Over the course of the walk, Krypto stopped to pee four times and sniffed some other dog's butt twice. I tell you, my dog is a pervert with an overactive bladder. But I love him anyway.
We stopped in front of "Zach's Musical Shop" (creative name, eh?) and I tied Krypto's leash to the bike rack. "Never fear, dear Krypto, we shall return after Spot has had some good drooling time!" Adrienne told him dramatically, scratching behind his ears. I chuckled and dragged her into the store.
"Back again, Gabe?" said Anthony, one of the guys who works at the place. He's a rather vertically challenged Italian with a sarcastic sense of humor and an ever-present smile. I like that kid a lot; he doesn't seem to mind that I show up here so much and never buy anything.
"Yep." I crossed the room and kneeled before my baby. The most beautiful guitar I have ever seen in my life. Adrienne kneeled solemnly beside me, and the pair of us bowed our heads and put our hands on our hearts.
The guitar's body was curved in such a way that it almost looked sexy, the black paint gleaming where the light hit it through its glass case. Its neck was perfectly angled and the frets were polished bronze. It had been true love from the first moment I had seen her, three months ago.
I turned to Adrienne and Tony. "She will be mine. Oh yes, she will be mine." [1]
Tony smiled. "So ... ya gonna buy 'er this time?"
"Nah, don't have enough money yet." I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair. "Do ya think ... I could hold her? Just for a second?"
"Sure --- just be careful," he chuckled, taking a key ring out of the pocket of his blue jeans and unlocking the case. He gently removed the guitar and handed her to me.
I sighed dramatically as I felt the smooth body in my hands. "I love this guitar," I told him. Adrienne laughed. I pulled the strap over my shoulders and began to play --- just for a second --- I had to try it.
I could tell Tony was impressed. "You're not bad, kid."
I smiled and handed him back the guitar. My mom "doesn't approve" of guitars. She says that they are loud and raucous and she will NOT have her only son playing one. So I borrowed some of Adrienne's beginner's guitar tapes and her old guitar (she used to play but had decided she would rather play the drums) and practiced it at every opportunity quietly in my room.
I don't think my mom knows. She might. It's hard to tell with mothers in general, but it's even harder to tell with my mom.
Tony placed the guitar back in its case and locked it up. I gazed longingly at it for a second, before Adrienne nudged me in the ribs. "Krypto's hopping around; it looks like he's trying to see up that lady's skirt ... we should probably go."
I laughed out loud. "Yeah, see ya later, Tony."
"Bye, Gabe. Keep saving your money." He winked.
I didn't blush at all. Really, I didn't.
As Adrienne and I left the store, we passed a girl who was just entering. "You asked me to call you Anthony, so I will!!!" she shrieked as she came in. I glanced back at Tony through the window, who winced as the girl came in. Poor kid. Who the hell was that girl, anyway? I looked her over. She was kind of pretty, with glossy blonde hair and big blue eyes, but she had a relatively artificial look to her. Too much make-up or something.
I wonder if those boobs are fake...
"Spot?"
I looked at Adrienne, who was smiling. "Checkin' her out, eh?"
"I was NOT!" I scoffed.
And I wasn't. The weird thing was, that girl was exactly how I had imagined Bambi. Eww.
*
Only Ferris Bueller could really put into words the general feeling of my home. It's like a museum; it's very big and very cold and you're not allowed to touch anything. You'd think that a divorced mother and a single son wouldn't need such a large house, but mom always liked being ostentatious. It kind of sucks.
I could hear the classical music coming from downstairs. I must be the only kid in the universe without a CD player in my room. Someday I'm going to get a room that's actually mine, not my mom's. Dude, that would be nice.
I turned on the computer and signed on to AOL. I seriously needed to talk to Race, I was very VERY bored.
RedSuspendahs99: I saw a Bambi look-alike today.
EmusRockMySocks: me too
EmusRockMySocks: except it wasn't a look-alike
EmusRockMySocks: she's taken to stalking me on the weekends as well
RedSuspendahs99: lol
RedSuspendahs99: duuude that really sucks
EmusRockMySocks: I know...
"GABRIEL CONLON!" my mother shrieked from the other room. "WHY DOES THE MICROWAVE SMELL LIKE NAILPOLISH REMOVER??"
Damn.
RedSuspendahs99: gotta go
RedSuspendahs99: I think my mom just found out about the chocolate chip cookie ordeal
*****
Shoutouts!!!
Shadowlands: AND WHERE THE JOURNEY MAY LEAD YOU, LET THIS PRAYER BE YOUR GUIDE! THOUGH IT MAY TAKE YOU SO FAR AWAY, ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR PRIIIIIDE!! Dude, every time I see your name that song starts playing in my head. I'm assuming that is why you chose that name, right? It's very cool. Anyway. Thank you so much for the reviews, I'm glad you like it! (And I am a big Spot/Race fan too, this is my first one ... I hope I'm doing ok!)
Hope: I'm glad you like it!!! I love rubber duckies too, they are extremely fun. (And Veggie Tales! WOO HOO!) I shall try my best not to make this a Mary Sue, they irritate me to no end. Thank you for the review!
nani at 12 o'clock: "stalkers are freaky but I don't think it's their fault". LOL! I like you a lot ... I am SO SORRY about the fact that I put down Raffi as singing Rubber Ducky instead of Ernie!!! I feel perfectly miserable now if it makes you feel any better. I must have spaced out or something. But I watch Sesame Street too, don't worry. ;-)
studentnumber24601: I am very happy this made you giggle! (lol) You're the second person to point out to me that I said Raffi sings Rubber Duckie, and I am horrified! How COULD I have forgotten?? I actually don't think I really forgot, just spaced out (as usual). Thank you for correcting me, though, and thank you for the review!! And do not feel dorky, I watch little kid shows all the time (particularly Arthur, lol).
kattabean: THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!! I CAN DO ITALICS!! lol --- it would be really ironic right now if the italics didn't work. But thank you for showing me, I will love you forever. I'm glad you like my story, thanks for reviewing!
Shot Hunter: Aaah --- dude, this is ironic. I was reading your review over again to write your shoutout and you were like "hey blondes know how to do stuff" and I, the so-called brilliant brunette, started swinging my legs back and fourth and slammed my foot against the wall. It was really loud and really painful. lol --- actually, my two best friends are blondes and they are both in honors math and French classes and total geniuses. So I honestly have nothing against blondes. :-) Thank you for reviewing!!
Liams Kitten: Dude, you are FUNNY!!! Andrea Bochelli and Queen ... wow. lol. Yes, I hate Bambi too and give you full permission to kick her as much as you want. That's what she's there for, after all. :-) Thank you so much for the review, you cracked me up!
Sapphy: "And who, in God's name, names their child after a cartoon deer?!" LOL!!! I really have no idea; I just took my mom's old baby naming book and chose the most obnoxious name I could find. And by the way, I am not miserable anymore. (I was picturing you doing a dance on a table, lol) Thank you for reviewing, I love you!!
hilby: Aaah, thank you so much!! I love Harrison Ford too, he is very very hot. I'm glad you like my story, thanks for reviewing!!
Scout73: Yeah, I've got a bit of a thing for Nirvana if you haven't noticed. I'm really really glad you like this, thanks for reviewing!! "I hope ur muses don't ditch u! (like mine did...dirty rotten scabbers...all of them...*glares out into the distance and continues mumbling*) LOL! God, I really like you!
Trolley: *starts hopping around* I can do italics, I can do italics!! My friend is gonna be so jealous, lol. THANK YOU SO MUCH!!! I love you too (and Indy and opera --- to an extent --- and Rubber Ducky and Nirvana)! YAY! lol, thanks for reviewing.
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Author's Note: [1] Free punching bag in the shape of Bambi Contrada's head to anybody who can tell me what movie that's from!! Thanks to all readers and reviewers, I love you all!!! Please leave a review!
-Saturday