Author's Note: Hmm...This story is going in an odd direction...
Disclaimer: I don't own Spot, Race, Specs, Dutchy, Snitch, Bumlets, or any song lyrics...Aw man, now I'm all depressed!! Well I do own Adrienne and Spot's family and Mr. Perron...That should be enough, shouldn't it? :-)
Dedication: To Scout again, 'cause I promised her two chapters. lol. I'm SORRY I FORGOT YA, BABY, I WON'T DO IT AGAIN!!
-----
Chapter Six – Karaoke Night
-----
Our English teacher, Mr. Perron, had told us to make a list of several "intriguing questions" that we would like to discuss in class. He said that we would later compile them into a poster in which we would relate the questions to the universal message of our free choice books.
He's completely insane, if you ask me.
Adrienne showed me her list of intriguing questions on the way to school while we waited for the rest of the guys to show up. (The six of us --- Adrienne, Specs, Dutchy, Bumlets, Snitch, and me --- always walk to school together in the morning.) Indeed, I have never been more amused over an English assignment in my life.
A List of Questions I Find Quite Intriguing
by Adrienne James, 6th Period
1. Is it possible for one to get split ends on one's armpit hair?
2. Why did Indiana Jones wear those horrible glasses when he taught school? I personally found it absolutely horrifying that those young girls were attracted to him while he was standing there rambling on about some ridiculous old rocks and wearing those dreadful enormous lenses...
3. "They might even make a motion picture about you, Arthur!" "A motion picture? What's that?" "Well ... It's like television ... Except without commercials!" Tell me, what kind of an ending is that??? I personally feel that The Sword in the Stone should receive the WORST POSSIBLE ENDING TO A MOVIE award! ACK!
4. Why is it that all my friends have wonderfully clever names (Snitch, Bumlets, Spot, Specs, Dutchy) and I am left simply ADRIENNE or Adry on a good day ... sometimes James, I suppose ... Like that time when Dutchy came bouncing over to me singing, "AND THEY'LL SAY JAAAAMES JAAAAAMES JAAAAAMES, HOW ARE YOU? ISN'T IT A LOOOOOVELY DAAAAAAY!" but that was a rare occasion indeed...
5. How come some pieces of poop float in the toilet and others sink? I mean seriously, man, what's up with that?
6. Why is abbreviation such a long word? Is there an abbreviation for it?
7. How does all that gum get under school desks and chairs? I have never, in my whole time at this school, seen someone stick their gum under there, yet there it be! Hoards and hoards of the sticky substance encrusting the bottoms of desks and chairs...How it gets there in the first place is one of the great mysteries of life.
8. How on earth am I going to connect this list to my free choice book? I'm beginning to doubt that Lord of the Flies will be an easy book to connect to...
"Are you seriously going to hand this in?" I asked, trying not to laugh.
Adrienne looked at me from under the brim of her baseball cap, her clear gray eyes sincerely surprised. "Of course!" she said. "Why wouldn't I?"
I shook my head and handed it back to her. "It's wonderful, I love it."
"Thank you!" she answered graciously, grinning and putting it back into her bag. Just then Snitch came around the corner talking with Bumlets.
"ADRIENNE JAMES!" Snitch yelled.
"DANIEL CASPARY!" Adrienne yelled.
"GABRIEL CONLON!" Snitch yelled.
I looked at him. "What am I supposed to yell?" I asked seriously. "In all fairness I really should yell Bumlets' name, shouldn't I? Because otherwise your name would be yelled twice and his only once."
Snitch thought it over for a minute, stroking his chin pensively. "I suppose...You could yell Bumlets' name..." he said reluctantly.
"Oh thank you, good sir!" Bumlets cried (rather sarcastically, at that), throwing himself at Snitch's feet. "Hey, did you get new sneakers?"
"Yeah, got 'em yesterday!" Snitch swung his leg up onto the steps of Adrienne's house (where we meet in the morning, if you didn't realize) and modeled his insanely white new sneakers.
"Good thing too, your old ones were at the point of falling apart," said Bumlets grimly.
"They were good sneakers, though!" Snitch cried.
"DAN CASPARY!" Specs yelled, coming around the corner. (We're a rather redundant and predictable bunch, eh?)
"MARK DAVID!" Snitch yelled back, patting him macho-ly on the back. Whoa --- macho-ly...Macholy? Macho...ish...ly? Ah, never mind...It was a macho pat on the back, in any case.
"Where the hell is Dutchy?" Adrienne asked, jumping up and using Specs' shoulders as support in order to see further down the sidewalk.
"He should be coming," said Snitch, glancing at his watch. "Insane as he is, he's quite a precise person. Here we go --- four, three, two---"
"Hey guys, what's up?" said Dutchy, coming around the corner.
We all looked at Snitch in surprise. Bumlets looked at his own watch, obviously very confused. Specs opened and closed his mouth several times, looking quite like a fish out of water. HAHA! He was being quiet like a fish! I get it now!!
"How---" Bumlets began finally. He looked back at his watch.
Dutchy was looking quite confused by now, as I'm sure you can guess. He therefore decided to deal with his confusion in the usual way: singing his little heart out. "LET'S GET DOWN TO BUSINESS, TO DEFEAT THE HUNS!" he cried, grabbing Adrienne's shoulders and leaping forward dramatically.
She joined him immediately, of course. God, that girl couldn't pass up a chance to perform if her life depended on it. "DID THEY SEND ME DAUGHTERS WHEN I ASKED FOR SONS?" the pair of them sang together, going into a rather disturbing interpretive dance. "YOU'RE A SPINELESS, PALE, PATHETIC LOT AND YOU HAVEN'T GOT A CLUE! MISTER I'LL MAKE A MAAAAN OUT OF YOOOOU!"
"Come on, guys, we gotta get to school," I said, grabbing Dutchy's arm before they could go into the main chorus. Man, Mulan scares the shit outta me. A girl cutting off her hair and pretending to be a guy but still singing soprano? Jesus!
*
"Excuse me, Miss James, but what do you think you are doing?" Mr. Perron demanded, stepping in front of Adrienne and blocking her way over to Dutchy's desk where the rest of us were sitting. "I have just explained to the class that I would like you all go back to your seats so we can begin the lesson, yet here I find you clearly headed directly for Mr. Dudynsky's desk. Explain yourself."
Adrienne looked up at him and smiled, every inch of her the charming student she had been brought up to be. "Oh I'm not visiting Ivan, professor," she said quickly. "I'm just...making spontaneous U-turns around the classroom." And with that she made a spontaneous U-turn and headed back to her seat.
Mr. Perron blinked. He's a funny looking man, vaguely resembling a grasshopper. Very enthusiastic English teacher, too.
"Miss James," he said after a minute. "May I please see your list of intriguing questions?"
I bit my lip in order not to smile. "Of course, professor," said Adrienne seriously. She took it out and handed it to him with a completely straight face.
Mr. Perron read it, and his big green eyes widened even bigger. "Miss James," he said again. "Miss --- Miss James --- could you step outside for a minute? I want to talk to you..."
*
Dutchy wrapped his arm around Adrienne's neck and leaned forward dramatically as he sang. "It's a rumor! A legend! A mystery! It's the Princess Anastasia who will help us fly! You and I, friend, we'll go down in history! We'll find a girl to play the part and teach her what to say...dress her up and take her to Paree! Imagine the reward her dear old grandmama will pay! Who else could pull it off but you and me? We'll be rich!"
"We'll be rich!" Adrienne repeated loudly through her uncanny Russian accent.
"We'll be out!"
"We'll be out!"
The pair of them continued together, "And St. Petersburg will have some more to taaaaaaaaalk abooooooouuuuut!!!"
I've never seen an audience at a karaoke bar so incredibly entertained. They were laughing and clapping to the beat and listened intently as Adrienne and Dutchy leaned closer at the dramatic part.
"Shh! Have you heard there's a rumor in St. Petersburg? Have you heard what they're saying on the streets? HEY!" Then, to my astonishment, they did some sort of traditional Russian dance...whoa, sometimes those two terrify me...
"Hey," said someone behind me. I turned around to see Racetrack leaning against the wall, smiling at me. He was looking pretty darn cute in baggy blue jeans and a gray T-shirt with THE BEATLES on the front---
AAAH NOT CUTE I DIDN'T JUST THINK THAT HE LOOKED CUTE all right, this is getting old, he did look cute.
Just a little bit.
A really, really little bit.
I wasn't attracted to him, though. I'm straight.
"Those're your friends up there, right?" he asked, nodding at Adrienne and Dutchy (who were now doing an unusual rendition of the can-can).
"Um...Yeah." I grinned at him.
He patted the wall beside him and I came over and leaned against it too. "So how ya been?" he asked.
"Not bad, you?"
"Pretty good..." He opened his mouth to say something, changed his mind, and crossed his arms over his chest. We both looked up at the stage in time to see the dramatic ending to the song.
"The princess Anastasiaaaaaaaaaaaaa! ALIIIIIVE OR DEAAAAAAAAD---" Adrienne sang, throwing her arm out.
"Who knows?" Dutchy whispered.
The crowd of people burst into applause, which is unusual at a karaoke bar. I guess not many people actually do substantial performances, and Adrienne and Dutchy are destined for Broadway. They really should get married...Except I am somehow under the impression that Dutchy is rather gay...Maybe I'm just losing my mind...
Race nudged me in the ribs. "Hey," he murmured, "ya wanna sign up for one?"
"NO!"
He grinned at the look of horror on my face. "Aw c'mon, Spottie, you know you love performing---"
"Hey Spot, come and do one!" Dutchy sang, hopping over to us with Adrienne. "Did we sound alright?"
"Hell yeah!" I answered, slapping him a high five and patting him on the back. "I was never an Anastasia fan, though; Pocahontas was so much better, y'know?"
"I'm not going to ask..." Racetrack muttered, running a hand through his hair.
"Hey Adry, I never got to ask," I said, leaning closer to her and grinning, "how did the whole deal with Mr. Perron go?"
"Aw man..." she groaned. "I've been grounded. Apparently he wasn't amused by my question about the poop floating in the potty..."
"If you were grounded why are you here...?" Race asked.
"Whatever, come and do a song!" Adrienne said to me.
"NOOOO!"
"Why not?" Race demanded.
I hesitated. Why was I so against singing something? Half the people here were drunk, it wasn't as if I was going to embarrass myself that much...No more than the rather intoxicated couple up there singing "Build Me Up Buttercup" in incredibly off-key voices, anyway...But somehow I felt like...
Bingo. I felt like it was something my mother wouldn't want me doing. Her little boy performing in front of forty to fifty people. HORRORS! She wouldn't have it.
I wet my lips. "I dunno...I just don't feel up to it tonight, all right? You guys go up, I'll watch."
Racetrack raised an eyebrow at me. I could see that he was confused, how I loved to play the guitar and always wanted to play in front of an audience, and now I was faking stage fright or whatever I was doing...
I was rather confused myself.
"Ya sure?" Dutchy asked.
"Yeah."
Race shrugged. "Whatever, man..." He put his arm around Dutchy and Adrienne's shoulder and the three of them headed over to the sign-up table. "So ya like show tunes?"
"Do I ever..."
I watched them walk away, rubbing my chest and wondering what the hell was wrong with me.
*
"Gabriel?"
I hung up my jacket in the closet and pulled off my sneakers. "Yeah mom?"
"Could you come in here for a minute?" she asked.
She was in the office. Surprise surprise. She was always in the goddamn office...I jammed my hands into my pockets and made my way over there, walking as slowly as possible.
She was sitting at her desk, sorting through hundreds of thousands of papers. Her light brown hair was pulled back into a tight bun on the back of her neck and I could see the wispy gray hairs at her temples.
I squinted my eyes at her. "Gabriel, where were you this afternoon?" she asked me.
"Out."
She looked up at me then with those clear blue eyes that matched my own. She bit her lip. "Where is out?"
I shrugged. She stood up and came over to me. "Gabriel..." She ran a finger over my cheekbone. "I'm worried about you."
"Why?" I demanded, pulling back.
"You've been going out a lot lately."
"Would you prefer that I didn't?"
"Well yes, to an extent. I'd like you to at least tell me where you are planning on going."
"Mom..."
"Listen to me!" she snapped, stepping back again. "As a mother I can't allow you to just wander aimlessly throughout the city, I need to know where you're going in case something were to happen to you!"
"Mom, look at me!" I was rather ticked off by now and stepped back dramatically so that she could get the full effect of my statement. "Look --- I am sixteen years old and still alive and well. I have been living in Brooklyn, New York City for all of my life and I have never been mugged, kidnapped, murdered, or raped. I have a life and I would like to actually live it to some extent!"
Mom looked at me, the wrinkles on her forehead deepening. "Gabriel, I would like you to try not to go out anymore for a week or two, for my sake. I understand your point but---"
"You're grounding me??" I demanded, throwing my hands in the air. "Dear god, what more do you want of me, mom!?"
That seemed the perfect time for me to storm out of the room, so I did so and stomped up the stairs into my room, slamming the door behind me.
I grabbed my teddy bear from my bed and held him to my chest, sitting down on the bed.
"My life sucks," I told the teddy. "My life sucks and I'm sick of it."
Not that I'm suicidal or anything.
Maybe I should go and IM Race...
*
Shoutouts!!!
rumor: Ah, Harrison Ford...*sighs happily* I love that man. Let's just leave it at that. Thank you SO MUCH for the review, it cracked me up! You're such a nutcase...But just out of curiosity, do you write your reviews as you read the story? 'Cause that was what it sounded like...arg, I think I'm just losing my mind...
Liams Kitten: HAHAHA! NEWSIES ACTION FIGURES! I LIKE IT! *puts arm around your shoulder and stares off into the distance* Y'know, kid, I think ya got a future. We could go far t'gethah, wid your brains an' me money...
Ok so I don't have any money. But I felt like saying something random like that. Anyway, thank you sooo much for the review, it was hilarious!!
splashey: Ooh you have a loud Italian family? My family's so boring, we're American through and through with a bit of Irish and English blood. BLAH! We're extremely loud, though, so I guess that makes up for our boring labels...Anyway thank you SO MUCH for the review, and of course I forgive you for not reviewing till later! Sometimes the late ones are the best, y'know? After the big wave has passed and you're all depressed...and then suddenly out of the blue you get another one! HOORAY! *sighs happily* Oooh and thank you for the funky signature! It made me so happy!!! :D
Shadowlands: HAHAHAHA! Ok once again you get the funniest review award. "You picked a day I like." WOO HOO! And of course everyone reviews in robot voices! How could they not? I was just messin' with your mind, hon. ;-) Thanks for the review, I love ya!
Repeat: YAY! GOD you're funny...Don't worry about the American Psycho thing, I just hung out in the bathroom for the rest of the day and puked a couple times...lol jk it was kind of funny to think of Christian Bale with extreme mental issues (as long as I didn't picture him doing all that shit to those girls...ahhhh...*shudders and hides under desk*) Anyway thanks for the review!!
Sapphy: Haha, I think I'm gonna end up having the extreeeeme opposites of Specs and Dutchy attract at the end. The only problem is what will happen to Adrienne! She'll have no potential boyfriend!! Ah well, I'll figger it out. Thanks for reviewing, I love ya!
uninvisible: Aw MAN I love your name...so incredibly perfect. :D And never fear, I will have my revenge on Bambi in the end. She's too obnoxious to let live. Thanks for reviewing!
Thistle: YEE-HAW, INDY NIGHT! My family and I watched "Raiders of the Lost Ark" on Easter...it was kind of fun. ;D And no, I'm sorry to say that Adrienne does not have any romantic feelings for Spot whatsoever. I just wanted to mess with people's minds a little bit with the whole Gabriel Damon thing, lol. Anyway thanks so much for the reviews, you reviewed every chapter!!! I love it when people do that, makes me so incredibly happy. :D
arwenevenstar88: I am SO PROUD! I can finally write your name correctly without looking it up! Aw MAN I'm good...Aha, you have discovered my secret motivation! Every person who reads this story will eventually have incredibly chiseled abs and I will be the happiest person alive! MWAHAHAHA! Ok so that's not what I'm trying to do, but I'm glad this makes you laugh! ("MAKE 'EM LAAAUGH! MAKE 'EM LAAAUGH!" Ah, Singin' in the Rain...Great musical.) Anyway thank you so much for the review! THE RED HOT CHILI PEPPERS RULE!!
coin: Aww thank you! And of course Spot has a great ass!! ;-)
nani at 12 o'clock: Drumroll...I love you too!! lol Yes the subway is the best thing ever. My sister likes the train better...high-maintenance lunatic...I kind of like how grim and graffiti-covered the subway is. Makes me feel clean, y'know? And you MUST read the Cricket in Times Square, it is absolutely adorable and a classic. Oooh look, it won an award! AAAH IT'S A NEWBERRY HONOR BOOK! DUDE! Ok that's pretty darn cool. Anyway thanks for the review!! :D
SpotLover421: Well I can't really answer to your writer's block thing on the Journal of Racetrack Higgins because you UPDATED AAAH! I was so happy...Anyway thank you so much for reviewing, I love sprace too!! (I just figgered out what that was all by myself, I'm so proud!)
kattabean: Aw man I love ya. I'm a pet?!? SHWEET! Can I have a little blue collar? Ok so maybe I'm getting a little too into that metaphor, lol. But Green Day and the Offspring are my new best friends, I haven't listened to anything else for the past month (well besides U2 but they are my gods so they don't count). Thanks for the review!! :D
PsYcHoJo: Of course slash is adorable!! Ok so some people don't write it adorable, some people write it like realistic relationships, but the slash I like to read is just adorable. I'm so glad you like it now, welcome to the dark side!! ;-) Thanks for reviewing!
Scout73: DUDE! Two "YAY!"s in one review! I'm getting better all the time, lol. I hope you're back from Florida because I can't afford to have you pissed at me. You're just getting over the fact that I forgot your SHOUTOUT time before last! AAAH! lol, I could probably keep writing this story forever, it's really fun! :D But then again, I think I'd lose a reviewer or two after a couple years...Anyway thanks for the review!
KyrielF: Oooh, superb! Fancy lingo, I like it! lol, I'd die too if my family came to check on me...I can't believe I did that to my darling Racetrack!! Watch the first Matrix, it's the best!! Thanks for the review, I love ya!
studentnumber24601: Oh hooray! I feel extremely loved! lol. As much as I hate the Yankees, I wish you luck heading into Boston with your hat on...Unless it has already happened, in which case I hope to be reading a review from you soon to make sure you're still here. ;-) Aw man, I'm really glad you liked the accent! It was kind of random, but I had fun writing it and adding a's to the beginning of verbs. :D Thanks for reviewing, I love ya!
-----
Author's Note: Yeah, so this chapter was as random as it gets...Just working up towards the climax, I suppose. Please leave a review!! :D
-Saturday