Author's Note: Sorry I haven't updated in so long, my sister accidentally spilled water on our keyboard and rendered this computer useless for about a week. Believe me, it was hell. But — hallelujah! — Mommy went to Staples and got a new keyboard! (And personally I think it's pretty neat, lol)
Disclaimer: All the newsies are the property of Disney, all the song lyrics belong to their respective owners, The Cricket in Times Square belongs to George Selden, and everything else belongs to me. Ohh I'm filthy rich, I am!
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"Honestly, I think you should have bitch-slapped him," said Lia, carefully twirling her spaghetti around her fork.
"Lia! Watch your mouth!" Mama cried, lightly slapping her arm.
"What does 'bitch-slap' mean?" asked Angelo curiously.
"Well I certainly wanted to bitch-slap him," I said, shrugging. "The kid's a total lunatic, always spazzing out about what his mom's gonna think..."
"So bitch-slap his mom too," said Gino. "Pass the cheese."
"Gino!" Papa warned.
"What does 'bitch-slap' mean?" Angelo repeated.
"Pass the cheese," said Gino again.
"Well was his mom gonna be ticked off if spent 400 bucks on a guitar and practice amp?" asked Lia.
"Well yeah..."
"I met Gino's new English teacher today!" said Angelo suddenly.
"Hey, that's nothing to be proud of," said Gino sternly. "She looks like a duck with a mole the size of a grapefruit on the side of her neck. Talks like she has a clothespin pinched on her nose, it's terrifying."
"She was mean." Angelo glowered at his spaghetti. "She said I looked like Gino."
"Hey!"
"Oh, you mean Mrs. Hartlein?" said Lia, the corner of her mouth turning up. "Bloody lunatic. You know what she said to me today?"
I allowed my mind to drift away from the conversation, still thinking about Spot. He was so ... I just didn't understand the way his little pea brain worked. He was all set to buy the goddamn guitar, and then he had to go and remember what his mom would do. Sometimes I worry about the poor kid. Maybe I should have bitch-slapped him...
I poked gingerly at my spaghetti. I was still kind of ticked off at myself that at I hadn't told Spot my feelings for him yet. I had, however, had good grounds for not telling; I mean all our friends were right there — well, except Specs and Dutchy, but I was under the suspicion that they were gay anyway — and the last thing I wanted to do was confirm my sexual orientation with Itey singing the Beatles over my shoulder.
And then there was always the possibility that Spot wasn't gay, that he didn't like me back, and that was just more than I could stand. I'm selfish like that.
"...I hope Tom gives her the flu," Lia was saying grimly.
"Thomas has de flu?" asked Mama, concerned.
"I think so, yeah." She shrugged, downing the rest of her milk in one gulp. "I mean he's been sniffing and coughing and sneezing and all that good stuff, so he's definitely sick. He almost threw up during English today. Probably not coming to school tomorrow, by the looks of it."
"Can I be excused?" I said, not particularly keen on taking part in this conversation.
"Of course, Tony," said Papa.
"Oh don't leave, Tony, don't you want to discuss Lia's friend's symptoms?" Gino cried. "So tell me, Lia, is Tom also suffering from diarrhea and severe depression?"
Lia flipped him off and took some of his spaghetti. Mama, luckily, didn't notice. "Anthony, I completely forgot to a-tell you! Your friend — Trey, no? He a-called about an hour ago when you were-a in de shower. I tol' heem you woul' call heem back as soon as you could."
Trey? Who the hell was Trey?
Oh. Blink. Right.
I've got to work on remembering my friend's real names.
"Thanks, mama, I'll call him back now," I said and dumped my plate into the sink.
"The cordless phone's in me and Lia's room," said Gino, watching with amusement as Lia desperately tried to get Angelo to stop sticking his middle finger up before Mama and Papa noticed.
I grinned and made my way over to their room. Taking a deep breath, I threw all my weight against the door and managed to force it open.
It's a never-ending cycle. Every Monday morning Mama makes the twins clean their room, and it always looks fabulous. By Sunday, however, a week's worth of junk has accumulated and made it nearly impossible to get around.
I waded through a sea of old sweatshirts, blue jeans, and boxer shorts, holding my breath, and spotted the cordless phone mounted atop a vast heap of textbooks.
"Aha!" I muttered, and immediately went into Crocodile Hunter-mode, bending my knees and holding my hands out in front of me. "'Ere we seey the woild cordless phone in its nat'ral 'abitat, preparin' to perform the tradition'l matin' dance wid a beau'iful female sock. If I c'n jest get around behind it, I think I c'n grab it 'round the ankol and capture it..."
All right, so I watch "Animal Planet" too much for my own good. It's a good channel, all right?
In any case, I managed capture the phone and hurry out of the room, feeling rather lightheaded. It smells so bad in there...
I threw myself onto my bed and hit the Redial button, gazing absentmindedly at my Harrison Ford poster. The phone rang three times before Blink's mom picked up. "Hello?"
"Hi, can I please speak to Blink? — Aah, Trey?"
"Sure thing, Tony, hold on a minute."
I love how Mrs. Parker always knows it's me because I every time I call, I forget to call Blink by his real name.
After a minute, Blink came on. "Heya Race, what's up?"
"Mama said you called earlier," I said.
"Oh yeah." His voice immediately took on an excited tone and I could almost hear him grinning. "Guess what?"
"What?"
"You know Amnesty International?"
"I'm Nasty Inter-wha?"
He groaned. "Amnesty International. It's a human rights group; we've got about thirty members at our high school alone. Come on, you've heard of it. Skittery was in it for a while, they meet every Wednesday afternoon?"
I wrinkled up my nose, thinking hard. "Is Mrs. Fahey in charge of it?"
"Yep."
"All right, I think I gotchya."
"Yeah, well you'd better. They're organizing a Jamnesty — like an unofficial concert for high school bands." His voice got all excited again. "And guess what?"
"What, Blink?" I asked, rolling my eyes.
"We've been invited!!"
"Seriously?"
"Yes! We have to get our lyrics to her by Tuesday, just so she can ok them to make sure we aren't singing about getting laid or anything — and then we're in!"
"Dude. That's pretty fucking awesome."
"Yeah. Itey almost wet himself when I told him, Skittery had to take him into the other room to calm him down."
I laughed. Blink, Mush, Skittery, Itey and I had been in a sort of unofficial band for a while now. We called ourselves the Jaywalkers (and most of us really were jaywalkers, so it all worked out in the end). I played the guitar, Mush played the bass, Skittery the drums, Itey the keyboard, and Blink sang. I wouldn't go so far as to say we were good, but we certainly weren't that bad ... I was just surprised we had been invited to play in front of an audience. Wow.
"Wow," I said.
"Yeah, I know."
"So how is Itey now, by the way? Still completely love-sick over Adrienne?"
Blink chuckled. "He's been kind of wobbling around all afternoon. I'm really starting to worry."
"Never fear, the effects should wear off soon once he realizes how bizarre she really is," I reassured him.
"I think that'll just turn him on more."
"Oh. Point taken."
We sat there for a minute in comfortable silence. I entertained the idea of going onto the computer and telling Spot my exciting news, but in the end I decided it would take too much of an effort to get off the bed. He probably wouldn't give much of a shit, anyway.
All right, he'd give half a shit. I deserve that much, right? Considering all we've gone through together, he'd at least pretend to care despite his bad mood.
Enlivened by the idea of getting half a shit from Spot, I sat up a bit straighter on my bed and grinned slightly. "So what's up?" I asked Blink good-naturedly.
"Thinking about Mush's sister," he replied blatantly. "God, she's such a hottie."
"Poor Mushie..."
All right, I never said I was gay. I don't deny that I'm definitely doubting my sexual orientation at the moment, but Cecilia Meyers is the closest thing to keeping me straight. Long dark hair, caramel-colored skin, a willowy figure to match Lia's ... I kind of squirmed and fell back onto my pillow. Yowza.
"Did you know she listens to Aerosmith?" said Blink suddenly. "How much of a turn-on is that?"
"DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY!" I yelled.
"SHUT UP, TONY, WE'RE TRYING TO FINISH DINNER IN HERE!" Gino called bluntly from the kitchen.
Blink laughed. "Listen, I gotta go. I'll talk to you later, all right?"
"Sure. See ya tomorrow."
"Bye."
I hung up and sat bored for a minute before swinging myself off my bed and grabbing The Cricket in Times Square.
None of my family knew I was reading it, and I didn't plan on them finding out. Papa would want me to describe it to him, Mama would want to read it herself and make sure there was no vulgar language or obscene implications, Lia would laugh and write a song about me and my boyfriend's book, Gino would laugh even harder and steal it from me when I wasn't looking, and Angelo would want me to read a chapter to him every night.
No, all in all I had decided that the best decision was to keep the whole book secret.
I was on Chapter Twelve by now, and I'm ashamed to admit I was really getting into it. Chester Cricket had come to New York by accident from Connecticut — he had been trapped in a picnic basket, long story — and he immediately made friends with Tucker the mouse, Harry the cat, and this kid named Mario. After a while they figured out that Chester had an incredibly good ear; he could hear a song on the radio and then chirp it out and remember it forever.
Kinda like Mush at the bass. Lucky bastard...
Mario's family kind of reminded me of my own, except with only one kid instead of four. They were Italian and not particularly well off. Mama was short and loud and blunt, and Papa was tall and quiet and gentle. And they listened to opera all the time.
Ha. Poor kid. I felt his pain.
Flopping onto my stomach, I opened the book to where I had left off last night and began to read.
It was two o'clock in the morning.
Two o'clock in the morning, it's quiet and there's no one around ... Just the bang and the clatter as an angel runs to ground! God, I love U2...
Chester Cricket's new manager, Tucker Mouse, was pacing up and down in front of the cricket cage. Harry Cat was lying on the shelf with his tail drooping over the edge, and Chester himself was relaxing in the matchbox.
"I have been giving the new situation my serious consideration," said Tucker Mouse solemnly. "As a matter of fact, I couldn't think of anything else all day. The first thing to understand is: Chester Cricket is a very talented person."
Ha! I could sing Italian Opera if you stuck me in a cricket cage and fed me Chinese food, but would people call me talented? I think NOT!
"Hear! Hear!" said Harry. Chester smiled at him. He was really an awfully nice person, Harry Cat was.
Ooh, I definitely sense some romantic interaction between the two of them. But what in hell would the children look like??
"The second thing is: talent is something rare and beautiful and precious, and it must not be allowed to go to waste."
Amen to that!
Tucker cleared his throat. "And the third thing is: there might be — who could tell? — a little money in it, maybe."
I decided I liked Tucker Mouse very much. Definitely my kind of rodent. No wonder this was Spot's favorite book...
"TONY, GET YOUR ASS IN HERE, IT'S YOUR NIGHT TO DO THE DISHES!" Gino bellowed from the kitchen. I heard Mama snap in Italian, threatening to wash his and Lia's mouths out with soap if they didn't learn to speak "like normal people".
In other words, they had to stop swearing or they'd be in deep shit.
Heh heh...
I chuckled, slipped The Cricket in Times Square under my bed, and kind of paraded into the kitchen. (Books with talking animals tend to have that sort of effect on me...)
"Have a nice little chat with Blinky?" asked Lia audaciously as she cleared the table.
I glared at her. She definitely had a thing for Blink, and it totally creeped me out. What if they actually — like, went out?? I shuddered at the very thought and quickly turned on the hot water in the sink.
The only family in New York City without a dishwasher?
Yep, that's us.
Gino dumped his plate in the sink. "Si le so almore che io e te," he sang dreamily, "forse stiamo insieme zitti stiamo—"
"Aw cut it out, Gino," Lia snapped, smacking the back of his head.
"AS ASCOLTARE IL CIELO ALLA FINESTRA!" he finished loudly and ducked as she swung for his head again.
She ended up smacking me. My face almost hit the faucet, and I turned around and glared at her. She smiled sheepishly and handed me her dirty plate. "Wash this for me, will ya?"
"Don't do it!" Gino mouthed over her shoulder. I rolled my eyes at him and took the plate from her.
"HA! I win!" Lia gloated.
"I'm the cooler sibling, though," said Gino seriously.
"Are not!"
"I took him to see 'Charlie's Angels'!"
"He hated that movie!"
"We were having special male bonding time, all right?"
"Watching a chic flick...?"
"Well he liked Cameron Diaz."
"No he didn't, he was more interested in Bill Murray!"
Now it was my turn to smack Lia. She grinned apologetically at me. "I took him to see 'Miracle'," she amended quickly. "He liked that movie."
"Yeah but only because you gave him Swedish Fish!" Gino cried.
"That is NOT true!"
"And you only liked it because you think Nathan West is cute!"
"THAT IS NOT TRUE EITHER!"
"Personally," I cut in, "I think I like Angelo better than the both of you."
They both glared at me for a minute. "Aw shid," Lia mumbled, her voice suddenly very nasal, "pass me a tissue dere, Gin, quick—"
Unfortunately, Gino wasn't quick enough.
And I was sneezed upon.
At the time I didn't realize the significance of that sneeze. Of course it was absolutely disgusting and earned Lia about a hundred more smacks on the back of the head, but little did I know just how big an effect it would eventually have on my life.
Funny how little things like that can have a chain reaction, eh? THE BUTTERFLY EFFECT!! Or like in The Sound of Thunder by Ray Bradbury, when the guy goes back in time and crushes the butterfly and the destiny of the entire human race is influenced?
Dude.
Maybe I should stop thinking and just wash the dishes.
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Shoutouts!!!
Liams Kittens: Oh MUSH! –(tackles him in hug)- How SWEET! And cookies too?? –(tackles you too)- -(turns to nonexistent audience)- They like me, they really LIKE ME!! And don't worry, I don't think your action figure joke is "OLD DEAD and ROTTING with frukin MAGGOTS DIGESTING IT", lol. We could make big bucks with those things. Thanks SO MUCH for the review, I love ya!!
clover6776: Aww thank you so much!! :-D
blackblood: Aha, another U2 fan!! –(does happy dance)- Thanks so much for the review!!! Love the name, by the way. Very dramatic, lol. ;-)
LaurelCrowned1: lol!! Ohh the IRONY! I mess up metaphors all the time too, it's pretty pathetic. No idea WHY Mrs. Nizel put me into Honors English next year. One of the great mysteries of the world. Anyway, thanks for the review!! :-)
Gothic Author: lol! I'm very glad my story has succeeded in amusing you so (and your whole "conversation" with Technical!Spot cracked me up). Thanks so much for reviewing!
Alexandra Paige: You, my dear, are most certainly not a shitty reviewer. I have never been more flattered in my life. (Good god, I sound like an old woman!) lol, thank SO much for the review, I love ya! :-D
Shadowlands: -(tackles you in a flying glomp)- I'm really running out of clever responses to your reviews. I feel so boring. ;-)
rumor: lol!! You're definitely one of my favorite reviewers. ;-) I admit that I've also watched waaaay too many SNL sketches than is considered healthy, I've gotten to the point where I can relate almost everything I do to one of the skits ... SPACEBALLS! WOO HOO! Love that movie ... even more so now that I realized Dentin and Lonestar are the same guy. Lol, thanks for reviewing, I love ya!!
Aelia O'Hession: Yet another thing we have in common: falling off chairs. ;-) Thanks so much for the review (and don't worry, I have a tendency to write heavy dramatic stuff too; it's all good!)
splashey: Never fear, your rambling amuses me to no end. I got the monkeys flying outta butts thing from Wayne's World, but I've also seen "Bruce Almighty" (awesome movie, by the way). I'm not Chinese either; Irish, English, and Canadian. How boring can you get? Lol, thanks for the review, I love ya!
Madison Square: WOO HOO, ITEY FANS UNITE! I admit I have a HUGE Itey fetish. I used to hate him, and now I adore him beyond belief. Funny how things turn out that way ... Thanks so much for reviewing!!
mydracomalfoy: When I first saw your name, the first thing that popped into my head was "No, my Draco Malfoy!" I think I've finally lost it ... Anyway, thanks SO MUCH for reviewing, you had me grinning like an idiot here, lol. :-D
Sapphy: Yeah, as much as I hate to admit it I really like John Mayer. Good music. :-D Thanks so much for reviewing, I love ya! (And I do hear ya roar, Cupid, loud and clear! )
SpotLover421: Aww thanks!! I'm very excited, we're finally NEARING THE CLIMAX OF THE STORY!! –(gasp!)- Yeah, I'm a melodramatic loser. You were in Bye Bye Birdie?? AAH! I love that play SO MUCH. All right, I say that about every play I see, but ESPECIALLY that one. WOO HOO! Thanks so much for reviewing, I love ya!
PsYcHoJo: Of COURSE Skittery made an appearance! I love him to death, lol. Thanks so much for the review!
singin'-newsies-goil: Yeah, you'd BETTER update soon. -(sharpens spear against a rock)- lol, thanks for reviewing!!uninvisible: DEAR GOD your review made me laugh. You're such a nutcase! "It's not a wallet, it's a pouch, and it's awesome because no one will ever suspect a duct tape blob." WOO HOO! Well Spot has a wallet because he is very feminine. :-D Thanks SO MUCH for reviewing, I love ya!
Scout73: Don't worry, I can totally relate. One time during Math class, Hannah and I spent literally two full minutes staring at some shiny thing out the window. ("What do you think it is?" "I don't know. But it's really shiny." "It's pretty." "Yeah.") It was quite pathetic. Anyway, thanks so much for reviewing, I love ya! (And of COURSE Itey has a six-pack! He's a sexy beast!!)
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Author's Note: Wow, this was quite a pointless chapter. Just building up to the climax (which really will happen at some point, I promise, lol). Thanks to all reviewers, you are my GODS!! MWAH!
-Saturday