Hey all, thanks for all the reviews! This chapter, I'm sad to say, is not based around a song, so there are no amazing lyrics to make this seem better than it really is. There is a poem though...so yeah...
Thanks for all the interest shown in this story, and Reese Craven, thank you so much for the suggestion to change the summary! Is it better now? If not, then I'm gonna need your help (or anyone else's) help on figuring out a better one. Seems to've worked out well enough, since I got many more reviews after changing it.
Oh, and AJ-Wolf-AJ, I'm not sure if I should be really happy or really sorry that chapter one made you cry, lol. But believe it or not, I smiled when I read that, because that seems like a compliment to me...and if it wasn't, I'll give you a cookie
But anyway, enjoy the new chapter!
Meanwhile, at Ron's house:
-BANG BANG BANG-
"What the...?" A groggy Ron grumbled and looked at the clock: 9:30 on his precious Saturday morning. He groaned and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow again; completely oblivious to why he had awoken in the first place. That is, until -BANG BANG BANG- on his front door again, this time accompanied by: "Ron! Get your lazy butt up before I wake the rest of your building!"
He knew that voice: that was Harry. 'How nice of him to visit me, I haven't seen him in awhile' Ron smiled to himself and then came to his senses and wondered: 'wait a second! I just saw him last night. So why would Harry be here at 9:30? Surely Ron hadn't forget any plans they might've had...
So he grudgingly rolled out of bed and padded his way towards the front door, and, before Harry could attempt to bring it down a third time, opened it
"Oi! Harry, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Ron said, only half jokingly
"Morning! Can I...can I come in?" he shuffled his feet a little, feeling embarrassed that he had to do this
Ron gave Harry a once over, only to find that his friend looked like shit. He almost looked like he had been crying, or if not that, he sure was about to. But Harry -never- cries, not anymore, not since he got together with Sever...as he was about to finish the thought, his gaze fell on the rucksack that was on the floor next to Harry's feet. Ron may have been slow in his school years, but now that he was in the business world, he was fairly quick-witted. He knew why Harry was here, and he would kill Severus Snape for whatever he did to make his friend like this again.
"Of course, Harry, come on in," Ron moved out of the way so Harry could enter the, rather small, flat.
"Thanks" he grabbed his sack and followed Ron inside
"So what brings you to my humble abode at such an insane hour? Is everything alright?"
"I'll tell you about it once I get a chance to sit down"
"Alright, let's go to the living room then"
The two friends walked into the little lounging area that wasn't too far from the door. Once in the room, Harry sat on the couch while Ron sat in the nearby chair, "Now, are you ready to tell me what happened?"
Harry simply nodded while looking down at his clamped hands sadly, "Well, the main thing is that I just left Severus"
Ron could see that the tears were building up to dangerous heights, "But Harry..." 'you love him' he was about to say, but didn't think that would be the best thing to say in this situation, so settled on: "what could make you leave him? I swear I'll gut him if he hurt you." Perfect, showing that you care. Ron smiled inwardly at his tactics of showing his support
"It just...something was missing," then after a slight pause: "no...that's not true. Everything was there: the happiness, the care..........the love" he said the last part very quietly before continuing on, "and unfortunately, so was the insecurity and doubt"
"What do you mean?" Ron inquired, tilting his head to one side slightly to show he was interested and paying attention
"He thought I was would tire of him, so he began to distance himself. He would start to act as though he didn't care about what happened, but his words said otherwise. It was as though he was trying to throw me off"
"He's a scared old git," Ron said with no little amount of loathing, but he withdrew from that peak with one glare from Harry, "Sorry. But really, Harry, anyone who's seen the way he looks at you knows he loves you"
"He's scared, Ron. And I am too," he admitted, "he's told me of his past relationships and how badly they've hurt him. In turn I told him everything about what the Dursley's used to do to me: the beatings, the slave labor.....the rape" he added quietly
Harry'd never told anyone, besides Severus of course, about being raped by his relatives. And because of that fact, Ron's look of shock was not surprising to Harry as he looked up at his friend from under his lashes for the first time since they had entered the living room
"Harry..." there were a few seconds of silence, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know"
Harry merely shook his head, "don't worry about it, it's my fault I didn't tell you"
"That's not important at this point, and don't worry about it; I completely understand," he said reassuringly, "now, back to Severus" at the mention of the other man's name, Harry lowered his gaze again
"After exchanging...horror stories," he took a deep breath before continuing, "We promised each other that we wouldn't let the other be hurt again"
Things reached a completely new level of surprise and emotion for Ron when the first tear fell from the shockingly green eyes. It was the first tear he'd witnessed falling since the beginning of sixth year, after Sirius' death
Ron moved over to the couch and sat down next to his distressed friend. Unsure of what form of comfort he was supposed to offer, he settled for placing a gentle hand on Harry's left shoulder, that being the closest to him.
Harry leaned into the touch and gave into his need to just let his worries out through the form of tears. Ron sat there, silently waiting for Harry to calm down again, meanwhile coming to his own conclusion: Harry Potter was still very much in love with Severus Snape
It only took five minutes, at most, before Harry's tears dried up, his eyes so unused to the phenomenon to carry it on for too long
"I hurt him. I lied to his face. But even worse, I left him all alone, just like all the others; the others I swore not to be like," he sounded so lost that Ron couldn't help but melt. Harry repressed a sob and started to recite a poem:
"I search for you in the middle of the night,
Looking out to the winding road,
I know that it is useless,
You're not coming home,
You said you were leaving me,
Leaving me all alone.
So what can I do,
But sit here and wait,
Hoping you'll come back to me,
And make me believe in fate,
But I doubt that my dream will come true,
Not on this night.
And maybe you'll realize,
Come back and prove me wrong,
Show me your last words were lies,
And then hold me in your arms,
I'll be right back where I wanted,
Forever and always in your embrace.
So I'll keep on dreaming,
And hoping that you come,
But I know that it is useless,
You're not coming home,
Because you said you were leaving me,
Leaving me all alone."
After finishing the reading, Harry lowered his face into his hands, knowing that he had made that poem a reality
"That was beautiful, Harry" Ron said softly
"It should be. It's Severus' that he wrote during the war," he sighed heavily, looking extremely worn out
"Lie down, Harry, come on now, you're exhausted," Ron helped to slowly lower the other man to the couch and then stood up
"Won't be able to sleep," Harry mumbled with half lidded eyes, causing his friend to not believe a word of it
"Be that as it may, you'll feel better simply laying down," he laid a blanket over Harry's prone form, "I'll stay with you till you drift off," he said and moved to sit back in the chair
"Thank you, Ron. Can I stay here for awhile?"
"As long as you need to, mate"
"Thanks" and then the room was taken over by silence. Just as Harry was beginning to drift off, he remembered something: "Oh, and Ron?"
"Yes, Harry?" he responded after being dragged away from his close sleep as well
"Severus might arrive here sometime. I told him that if he wanted to make this right again, that he'd know where to find me"
"And if and when he does, am I to allow him to see you?"
Harry thought for a minute and then came to a decision: "Yes. I will wish to speak with him if he's willing to travel all this way," he yawned
"Very well. Now stop worrying over everything and rest"
"M'k," he mumbled sleepily and closed his eyes. Ron soon followed his friends utterly -brilliant- idea and tried to go back to what he was doing before Harry had arrived
It wasn't much later, however, that he was awoken in much the same way, but oddly subtler. Soft knocking awoke both of the occupants of the living room. Grumbling, not for the first time that day, Ron looked at his watch (a muggle one that his father had given to him for Christmas. He had simply fell in love with it, muggle or no) before getting up from his uncomfortable position in the chair to see that it was 11:45 now. The persistent knocking became a notch louder and he finally succumbed to the pressure and got up to answer the door. What he saw did not surprise him
The potions master was getting aggravated at not getting an answer yet, 'what if he's not here? Where else would he be? What if he -is- here but simply doesn't want to see me?' his stomach fell just as the door opened to reveal the red-head
"Hello, Mr. Weasley," Severus bent his head in greeting
"Hell, Professor, I've been expecting you. Follow me," Ron stepped away from the door once more and lead the taller man towards the living room
When the pair entered, Harry was sitting upright on the soft cushions, playing with the edge of the blanket that was draped across his lap
"Harry, you have a visitor," Ron said gently, knowing that even though he had given his permission to allow Snape into the flat to see him, this was still hard for him
Harry slowly looked towards the doorway to his right, and the pain and sadness that Ron saw there almost killed him with guilt himself. Oh, how he didn't envy Snape in this situation. How can a lover not want to quench those emotions as quickly as possible if even a friend wanted to?
Ron cleared his throat, "I'll just leave you two alone now," he said and excused himself from the room, only to position himself in the kitchen so he could listen in
Neither Harry nor Severus spoke for a few minutes, merely communicating through their eyes to show how sorry they were
Severus was the first to speak, after clearing his throat, "Harry, are you willing to let an old, stubborn man explain his actions?" he asked, nervously
Harry appeared to think it over quickly, then said resolutely, "only if you say it first" his eyes begging the man to tell him what he wanted...no, needed to hear.
The young man didn't have to explain himself any further, Severus knew what he wanted to hear, and with him looking at him so pleadingly, how could anyone refuse? So he steeled his will, threw aside his pride, and took the first step to getting his Harry back: "I'm so sorry, Harry. I love you. Can you ever forgive me?" his eyes searched the large green orbs that he knew so well, hoping to find his feelings returned
After hearing those three simple declarations, Harry closed his eyes as emotions swept through his body again. He had heard what he wanted to for now, but could the older man tell him why he had acted the way he had?
"Thank you," he said quietly, opening his eyes as he did so Severus could see how much it meant to him, "but before I can answer your question, I must ask a few of my own: can you explain your actions so I can finally understand why you were driving me away? Can you convince me that you really want me around as much as -I- want to be around?"
Severus took in a deep breath and held it to steady his nerves before answering, "I will certainly try my hardest to"
Harry was pleading him with his eyes again to do a good job so that he could trust him not to hurt him again, and he'd be damned if he didn't do just that.
"Then by all means, Severus, pop a squat. This may take awhile," Harry sounded no less wary of the situation, but he was anxious to hear the man he loved out
Severus merely crinkled his nose at the muggle expression that Harry favored to use and made his way over to the chair Ron had abandoned earlier
So how was that for a follow up? I really hope it wasn't disappointing! And just so you know, they're not exactly out of the woods quite yet. Sorry. Or maybe they are...we'll see. This -is- a WIP, right?
Thank you to all my reviewers! Reese Craven, Neh, the-magic-is-in-you, Amaurea2003, Kateri1, valanthe, LOTRfreak85, AJ-Wolf-AJ and Ishy
Oh yes, I'll warn you not to get used to such swift updates, lol, I'm notorious for taking a long time (up to a week or more) to update. I will let you in on a little secret though: all the reviews I received gave me the motivation to update faster, so chances are that the more reviews I get, the quicker I will update.
This story should only be one or two more chapters long...unless I get one of those damn bunnies that likes to drag things out horribly long
Oh, and the poem that Harry recites in this chapter is my own work (written before this idea was ever thought up), called 'Leaving me all alone'
So again, that's that. Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter. Thank you!
Thanks for all the interest shown in this story, and Reese Craven, thank you so much for the suggestion to change the summary! Is it better now? If not, then I'm gonna need your help (or anyone else's) help on figuring out a better one. Seems to've worked out well enough, since I got many more reviews after changing it.
Oh, and AJ-Wolf-AJ, I'm not sure if I should be really happy or really sorry that chapter one made you cry, lol. But believe it or not, I smiled when I read that, because that seems like a compliment to me...and if it wasn't, I'll give you a cookie
But anyway, enjoy the new chapter!
Meanwhile, at Ron's house:
-BANG BANG BANG-
"What the...?" A groggy Ron grumbled and looked at the clock: 9:30 on his precious Saturday morning. He groaned and rolled over to bury his face in his pillow again; completely oblivious to why he had awoken in the first place. That is, until -BANG BANG BANG- on his front door again, this time accompanied by: "Ron! Get your lazy butt up before I wake the rest of your building!"
He knew that voice: that was Harry. 'How nice of him to visit me, I haven't seen him in awhile' Ron smiled to himself and then came to his senses and wondered: 'wait a second! I just saw him last night. So why would Harry be here at 9:30? Surely Ron hadn't forget any plans they might've had...
So he grudgingly rolled out of bed and padded his way towards the front door, and, before Harry could attempt to bring it down a third time, opened it
"Oi! Harry, what the bloody hell do you think you're doing?" Ron said, only half jokingly
"Morning! Can I...can I come in?" he shuffled his feet a little, feeling embarrassed that he had to do this
Ron gave Harry a once over, only to find that his friend looked like shit. He almost looked like he had been crying, or if not that, he sure was about to. But Harry -never- cries, not anymore, not since he got together with Sever...as he was about to finish the thought, his gaze fell on the rucksack that was on the floor next to Harry's feet. Ron may have been slow in his school years, but now that he was in the business world, he was fairly quick-witted. He knew why Harry was here, and he would kill Severus Snape for whatever he did to make his friend like this again.
"Of course, Harry, come on in," Ron moved out of the way so Harry could enter the, rather small, flat.
"Thanks" he grabbed his sack and followed Ron inside
"So what brings you to my humble abode at such an insane hour? Is everything alright?"
"I'll tell you about it once I get a chance to sit down"
"Alright, let's go to the living room then"
The two friends walked into the little lounging area that wasn't too far from the door. Once in the room, Harry sat on the couch while Ron sat in the nearby chair, "Now, are you ready to tell me what happened?"
Harry simply nodded while looking down at his clamped hands sadly, "Well, the main thing is that I just left Severus"
Ron could see that the tears were building up to dangerous heights, "But Harry..." 'you love him' he was about to say, but didn't think that would be the best thing to say in this situation, so settled on: "what could make you leave him? I swear I'll gut him if he hurt you." Perfect, showing that you care. Ron smiled inwardly at his tactics of showing his support
"It just...something was missing," then after a slight pause: "no...that's not true. Everything was there: the happiness, the care..........the love" he said the last part very quietly before continuing on, "and unfortunately, so was the insecurity and doubt"
"What do you mean?" Ron inquired, tilting his head to one side slightly to show he was interested and paying attention
"He thought I was would tire of him, so he began to distance himself. He would start to act as though he didn't care about what happened, but his words said otherwise. It was as though he was trying to throw me off"
"He's a scared old git," Ron said with no little amount of loathing, but he withdrew from that peak with one glare from Harry, "Sorry. But really, Harry, anyone who's seen the way he looks at you knows he loves you"
"He's scared, Ron. And I am too," he admitted, "he's told me of his past relationships and how badly they've hurt him. In turn I told him everything about what the Dursley's used to do to me: the beatings, the slave labor.....the rape" he added quietly
Harry'd never told anyone, besides Severus of course, about being raped by his relatives. And because of that fact, Ron's look of shock was not surprising to Harry as he looked up at his friend from under his lashes for the first time since they had entered the living room
"Harry..." there were a few seconds of silence, "I'm so sorry. I didn't know"
Harry merely shook his head, "don't worry about it, it's my fault I didn't tell you"
"That's not important at this point, and don't worry about it; I completely understand," he said reassuringly, "now, back to Severus" at the mention of the other man's name, Harry lowered his gaze again
"After exchanging...horror stories," he took a deep breath before continuing, "We promised each other that we wouldn't let the other be hurt again"
Things reached a completely new level of surprise and emotion for Ron when the first tear fell from the shockingly green eyes. It was the first tear he'd witnessed falling since the beginning of sixth year, after Sirius' death
Ron moved over to the couch and sat down next to his distressed friend. Unsure of what form of comfort he was supposed to offer, he settled for placing a gentle hand on Harry's left shoulder, that being the closest to him.
Harry leaned into the touch and gave into his need to just let his worries out through the form of tears. Ron sat there, silently waiting for Harry to calm down again, meanwhile coming to his own conclusion: Harry Potter was still very much in love with Severus Snape
It only took five minutes, at most, before Harry's tears dried up, his eyes so unused to the phenomenon to carry it on for too long
"I hurt him. I lied to his face. But even worse, I left him all alone, just like all the others; the others I swore not to be like," he sounded so lost that Ron couldn't help but melt. Harry repressed a sob and started to recite a poem:
"I search for you in the middle of the night,
Looking out to the winding road,
I know that it is useless,
You're not coming home,
You said you were leaving me,
Leaving me all alone.
So what can I do,
But sit here and wait,
Hoping you'll come back to me,
And make me believe in fate,
But I doubt that my dream will come true,
Not on this night.
And maybe you'll realize,
Come back and prove me wrong,
Show me your last words were lies,
And then hold me in your arms,
I'll be right back where I wanted,
Forever and always in your embrace.
So I'll keep on dreaming,
And hoping that you come,
But I know that it is useless,
You're not coming home,
Because you said you were leaving me,
Leaving me all alone."
After finishing the reading, Harry lowered his face into his hands, knowing that he had made that poem a reality
"That was beautiful, Harry" Ron said softly
"It should be. It's Severus' that he wrote during the war," he sighed heavily, looking extremely worn out
"Lie down, Harry, come on now, you're exhausted," Ron helped to slowly lower the other man to the couch and then stood up
"Won't be able to sleep," Harry mumbled with half lidded eyes, causing his friend to not believe a word of it
"Be that as it may, you'll feel better simply laying down," he laid a blanket over Harry's prone form, "I'll stay with you till you drift off," he said and moved to sit back in the chair
"Thank you, Ron. Can I stay here for awhile?"
"As long as you need to, mate"
"Thanks" and then the room was taken over by silence. Just as Harry was beginning to drift off, he remembered something: "Oh, and Ron?"
"Yes, Harry?" he responded after being dragged away from his close sleep as well
"Severus might arrive here sometime. I told him that if he wanted to make this right again, that he'd know where to find me"
"And if and when he does, am I to allow him to see you?"
Harry thought for a minute and then came to a decision: "Yes. I will wish to speak with him if he's willing to travel all this way," he yawned
"Very well. Now stop worrying over everything and rest"
"M'k," he mumbled sleepily and closed his eyes. Ron soon followed his friends utterly -brilliant- idea and tried to go back to what he was doing before Harry had arrived
It wasn't much later, however, that he was awoken in much the same way, but oddly subtler. Soft knocking awoke both of the occupants of the living room. Grumbling, not for the first time that day, Ron looked at his watch (a muggle one that his father had given to him for Christmas. He had simply fell in love with it, muggle or no) before getting up from his uncomfortable position in the chair to see that it was 11:45 now. The persistent knocking became a notch louder and he finally succumbed to the pressure and got up to answer the door. What he saw did not surprise him
The potions master was getting aggravated at not getting an answer yet, 'what if he's not here? Where else would he be? What if he -is- here but simply doesn't want to see me?' his stomach fell just as the door opened to reveal the red-head
"Hello, Mr. Weasley," Severus bent his head in greeting
"Hell, Professor, I've been expecting you. Follow me," Ron stepped away from the door once more and lead the taller man towards the living room
When the pair entered, Harry was sitting upright on the soft cushions, playing with the edge of the blanket that was draped across his lap
"Harry, you have a visitor," Ron said gently, knowing that even though he had given his permission to allow Snape into the flat to see him, this was still hard for him
Harry slowly looked towards the doorway to his right, and the pain and sadness that Ron saw there almost killed him with guilt himself. Oh, how he didn't envy Snape in this situation. How can a lover not want to quench those emotions as quickly as possible if even a friend wanted to?
Ron cleared his throat, "I'll just leave you two alone now," he said and excused himself from the room, only to position himself in the kitchen so he could listen in
Neither Harry nor Severus spoke for a few minutes, merely communicating through their eyes to show how sorry they were
Severus was the first to speak, after clearing his throat, "Harry, are you willing to let an old, stubborn man explain his actions?" he asked, nervously
Harry appeared to think it over quickly, then said resolutely, "only if you say it first" his eyes begging the man to tell him what he wanted...no, needed to hear.
The young man didn't have to explain himself any further, Severus knew what he wanted to hear, and with him looking at him so pleadingly, how could anyone refuse? So he steeled his will, threw aside his pride, and took the first step to getting his Harry back: "I'm so sorry, Harry. I love you. Can you ever forgive me?" his eyes searched the large green orbs that he knew so well, hoping to find his feelings returned
After hearing those three simple declarations, Harry closed his eyes as emotions swept through his body again. He had heard what he wanted to for now, but could the older man tell him why he had acted the way he had?
"Thank you," he said quietly, opening his eyes as he did so Severus could see how much it meant to him, "but before I can answer your question, I must ask a few of my own: can you explain your actions so I can finally understand why you were driving me away? Can you convince me that you really want me around as much as -I- want to be around?"
Severus took in a deep breath and held it to steady his nerves before answering, "I will certainly try my hardest to"
Harry was pleading him with his eyes again to do a good job so that he could trust him not to hurt him again, and he'd be damned if he didn't do just that.
"Then by all means, Severus, pop a squat. This may take awhile," Harry sounded no less wary of the situation, but he was anxious to hear the man he loved out
Severus merely crinkled his nose at the muggle expression that Harry favored to use and made his way over to the chair Ron had abandoned earlier
So how was that for a follow up? I really hope it wasn't disappointing! And just so you know, they're not exactly out of the woods quite yet. Sorry. Or maybe they are...we'll see. This -is- a WIP, right?
Thank you to all my reviewers! Reese Craven, Neh, the-magic-is-in-you, Amaurea2003, Kateri1, valanthe, LOTRfreak85, AJ-Wolf-AJ and Ishy
Oh yes, I'll warn you not to get used to such swift updates, lol, I'm notorious for taking a long time (up to a week or more) to update. I will let you in on a little secret though: all the reviews I received gave me the motivation to update faster, so chances are that the more reviews I get, the quicker I will update.
This story should only be one or two more chapters long...unless I get one of those damn bunnies that likes to drag things out horribly long
Oh, and the poem that Harry recites in this chapter is my own work (written before this idea was ever thought up), called 'Leaving me all alone'
So again, that's that. Please review and tell me what you think of this chapter. Thank you!