Shadows

Rating: PG-13

Summery: "He painted a pretty picture for you, didn't he Ron, what with all of his colorful lies and empty promises, how could I possibly compete with that?" A series of events leads Ron to the dark side, can anyone bring him back?

Disclaimer: Anything that you recognize, I don't own.

A/N Okay, this is where I apologize profusely for taking so long to update…just use your imaginations on my apology. I haven't even really been all that busy this week, I just normally update one story and then work on the other, and I lost motivation on my other story so this one had to unfortunately wait in the wings. But I'm back now and I have lost no motivation on this story, I'm actually kind of excited because the action is going to be starting up soon!

Chapter Ten

Sink or Swim Day

It is easier to say a statement than it is going through with it. Thus is the case with saying that you have no regard for someone and proving it by walking away. I was supposed to make my ultimate decision to be a spy by leaving behind all relations and friends and devoting my life to training…but I found that I couldn't.

I came to training each day but always returned to my home at night. Mark reminded me daily to just leave, get it over with quickly…like pulling off a band-aid.

But it wasn't a band-aid. It was my family, it was Harry, it was…Hermione. I sighed deeply and felt weighed down by my current disposition; things had been more than awkward between us. She seemed thoroughly embarrassed that I had turned away from her and I knew that there was no other choice.

I was supposed to be brave. Right now I just felt like a coward.

Once you taste the forbidden fruit it's just like, how do you go back? It was killing me, I knew that she wanted more than friendship, something that I had been subconsciously longing for since my fourth year, and I couldn't have it. Fate truly is bittersweet.

I was torturing myself with angst. It would have been best for me to just leave my family and her, but I found myself just wanting one more look at her so I wouldn't ever forget the way that her nose slanted just ever so slightly to the left, or how if you looked close enough she had a freckle in her eye that gave it the appearance of a twinkle, or-

"Kid you need to buck up and just do it."

Snapped out of my lovesick thoughts I glanced over at Mark with a guilty look on my face. It had been two weeks since I started training, and even the densest members of my household were beginning to get suspicious of my constant appearing bruises.

He eyed me with half amusement and half suspicion. "You're in love aren't you," he stated more than questioned.

"No!" I denied too quickly.

A thin smile stretched out across his lips, "I should have seen this sooner. Dump her kid, the quicker the better."

"Gee I see that you're a romantic," I commented dryly.

He shrugged slightly, "get what you want from her and get out."

I stared in disbelief as his words processed in my mind. Get what I wanted and get out? Was he suggesting that I sleep with Hermione and then leave a note on the bed stand afterwards? I could see it now:

Hermione,

Your years of friendship have been great but all I really wanted was sex. Now that we have that out of the way I see no reason to keep this who 'trio' thing we have going on. Talk to you later…maybe.

Ron

Yeah, nothing said I love you like that.

I love you? Oh God, Mark was right; I did need to get out.

"Fine," I finally agreed with him, "give me one week and I swear that I will make a clean getaway from my old life."

"One week," he nodded, "but if you chicken out that's it Ron; no more extended time. Do it by next week or don't do it at all."

"I won't chicken out." And I wouldn't. Hermione was leaving for University in six days; I would simply leave discreetly while everyone was wrapped up in her departure. Perhaps it was a cowardly way to go, but it was the only way that seemed plausible to me.

"I didn't think that you would," he said with his usual smile.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I went home-I mean to the Burrow-that evening for once not limping with pain. I made sure that Mark assisted me with the proper healing charms as my frequent injuries were causing far too many questions.

As I came out of the fireplace I was surprised to see Hermione in a chair waiting on me. She hadn't exactly been seeking me out for the past few days.

"Ron we need to talk," were the first words out of her mouth, as she didn't even look at me.

I licked my suddenly dry lips and sat down beside of her wondering how in the hell I was going to explain what had happened between us the other day and why I bolted.

"I know Ron," she simply stated.

Well, I wasn't expecting her to say that. "You know what exactly Hermione?" I asked genuinely confused; she knew a lot of things, what did she want me to do, guess which particular one she was talking about at this moment?

Her expression stayed hard and accusing, "I know that you aren't working at the Ministry. You've never worked there Ron, you never even had an interview."

I felt myself go cold. If she knew that, then what else did she know? "What have you been doing Hermione," I asked in a harsher tone than intended, "sneaking around and spying on me?"

She choked back a sob and her unfeeling expression was torn to pieces. "I wanted to take you out to lunch as a congratulations on your new job but you weren't there Ron…you were never there."

Unaffected by her nearness to tears because of my anger and irritation at the situation I stayed deathly calm. "What do you want from me Hermione?"

"Where have you been," she whispered hoarsely, "what have you been doing that causes you to come home every night injured? Please Ron, just tell me."

Not able to think up an excuse or lie that would be satisfactory to her I merely stood and began to descend to the stairs. "You're a clever girl Hermione," I said with a careless shrug, "figure it out."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I hadn't meant to be such a bastard towards her. I just didn't know what else to do. I wasn't prepared to answer questions about my new life; I had never expected any of them to be a part of it. It had just seemed…irrelevant.

Never give away anything. According to Mark, that was rule one. Well, technically rule two; rule one was don't get caught. But if you do get caught, don't give away anything.

He would have actually been proud at how I handled the situation with Hermione. I had simply cut off my emotions like was expected of me. But I didn't feel proud, not in the least. I felt horrible, I had made her cry, I had caused her pain. She would be much better off without me around to constantly hurt her.

Decisively I grabbed my trunk and began to randomly toss in my belongings. It was best to leave now, before she really did figure everything out.

I felt my heartbeat pick up as realization dawned on me; I was really leaving everything behind. I was just going to start a completely new life; this wasn't just something that would happen sometime in the future, it was happening now. And that scared the shit out of me.

Fearful of being caught red-handed attempting to 'sneak out of the house' I hurried, not caring what I was taking and what I was leaving behind.

Leave everything Ron.

Mark's words rang through my head and I dropped the shirt that I had had in my hand as though it had suddenly burned me. I had nearly forgotten, I was just supposed to leave, I wasn't supposed to pack as though I was going on a trip or planned to even be gone at all.

I threw everything back in my closet not worried about the mess it was making and put my trunk back. So now the only thing that there was left to do was leave. I looked at the door but found myself making no effort to move towards it.

With a sigh I took a step, one foot in front of the other I slowly gained on the distance between myself and the door. I eventually found my way out into the hallway and continued taking slow small steps; after all, leaving forever isn't something that one just rushes into…or out of…or whatever you would say in this particular situation.

But my feet, my mind, and my heart, seemed to all be quarrelling with each other as I ended up in front of Ginny's room where Hermione was staying. I took a deep breath and wondered what to do. I knew that Ginny wasn't in there, she snuck off every evening after dinner and didn't reappear until the early hours of the morning; or so Hermione had told me.

Finally I bravely turned the door handle and felt horrible as I saw Hermione sitting in a chair staring out the window with tears streaming down her face.

"Hermione?" I asked timidly

She lifted her head to look at me, "please don't tell me any more lies Ron."

I felt a wave of guilt rush over me; I couldn't believe that I had selfishly thought that my lies and actions would affect no one but myself. I had hurt her through it, and if anyone else found out, they would undoubtedly be pained as well.

"I won't lie to you Hermione," I promised, but knew that I probably wouldn't be saying much at all if I was limiting myself to the truth.

She got up from her seat and walked past me to shut the door, she revealed her wand and gently placed locking and silencing charms on the room. Wordlessly she lead me back to her cot where she had been sleeping for the summer and we both sat down in an uncomfortable silence.

I could see her inner battle through her troubled eyes before she finally took a deep reassuring breath. "Tell me that you aren't doing anything illegal or stupid," she requested irrationally.

"I'm not doing anything illegal or stupid," I mimicked truthfully. Well…it wasn't completely stupid anyway.

"That's all I need to know," she stated before closing the gap between us and initiating a tender kiss. Shocked for only a moment I returned the kiss apprehensively; this wasn't why I had come here, but an added bonus couldn't do anyone any harm.

Pushing all rational thought out of my mind I forcefully kissed her, unleashing all the passion that had been building in me for years. The pressure of my weight bearing down on her we both slid down onto the cot. I could feel her heartbeat racing and knew that mine was doing the same as we continued to kiss, our tongues and passions intertwined.

As Hermione pulled off my t-shirt I checked myself briefly; things were going too far. "Hermione," I whispered gruffly.

She placed an elegant finger over my lips before I could say anything else. "Don't think Ron," she commanded, "I just…I just want to be with you before I leave."

Taken aback by her bluntness I sat up, still shirtless.

"I can feel you leaving me Ron," she coaxed as she sat up as well.

"I'm not-" I was going to say that I wasn't going anywhere, but I had made a promise to her.

She didn't seem to even notice what had happened though. "Maybe not physically," she said, "but it's like each day you're less and less here mentally. I don't want to be intelligent or rational tonight Ron; I just want one moment of purely us. No regrets."

"No regrets," I repeated slowly. I turned my head back towards her and lowered her back down onto the bed, I loved her, I wouldn't regret this.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I woke up and gave a bittersweet smile as I held Hermione in my arms for the first and last time. For a moment though, I didn't think about leaving. I didn't think about our lack of a future together. I just envisioned us as a couple in love who had just awoken from a night of passion, content in each other's arms.

But the moment passed just as I knew our time together had. It was time for me to go, physically, mentally, and in all other forms. I couldn't put it off any longer. I couldn't keep lying to everyone who I cared about, I couldn't keep hurting them.

I slipped out of the warmth that Hermione and I had together and listened as she gave a small whimper in her sleep as I pulled away from her. I found my clothes and snuck out of the room and went down the stairs and outdoors into the dark.

I pulled out the portkey that Mark had given me for when I finally left.

Whenever you're ready to commit and leave it all behind kid.

With one final look towards the section of the house where I knew where Hermione resided I activated the portkey.

No regrets.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N Told you that any R/Hr action would be bittersweet. Damn, you can practically taste the angst in that one…I'm going to go watch cartoons or something to lighten my mood, lol. Review please!!!!!

Thank you to:

Hplova4eva (Glad that you're still liking the story, thanks for reviewing!), RonandHerm4eva (Well, if you loved the R/Hr in the last chapter, then you should have really liked this chapter, lol. Hope that you are still enjoying the story, and sorry to have Ron in the habit of splitting every time that he and Hermione start to get anywhere, lol.), Gen Eveningstar (Thanks for saying that the R/Hr tension is well-written, it's much appreciated! Glad that you're liking the story!), Kinky Kiwi (Thanks for all the great compliments! I'm really glad to know that you are enjoying this story even though you don't normally read the pairing. And I love Ron too!), Arynnl (Thanks for reading and I hope that you got an opportunity to read the rest of it!), Stompy-Sanjii (Glad to know that you're enjoying the story and I'll be sure to check out your fic as soon as I have time. Lol, my free-time seems to be lost to work, homework, and school lately. But I'll find time sometime!), Me (Lol, I made my decision…I think. I'm an idiot, just slap me or something. But they were briefly together, and now, you know, not so much. But they will get back together eventually!), HeatherWeasley-Lover (Glad that you're liking it, hope that you continue to do so!), Andieemail (Lol, it may take a really long time to get there but we should get a happy ending. I enjoy bittersweet irony things though…gives you something to think about and want to slap the characters over, lol.), Orange banana (Lol, you can stop dancing around nervously now, the next chapter has been uploaded. Hermione is still fine…for now. *cackles evilly* Don't worry, she should be all right.), Angl (Let me know when you've forced Bob to watch Identity, I think that we could form some excellent torture plans from it, lol. And I love your idea of an imaginary dog to chase an invisible person…kudos on beating the conventional insane system, lol.), Trempush (Lol, the plot is going to get a hell of a lot thicker really soon.), Shakespeare's Muse (You'll have to e-mail me your script when you're done with it, it sounds interesting! I do hope that you finish Things Change soon, you can't keep putting me in suspense like this! Lol, if you were screaming at Ron and Hermione last chapter you probably had some illegal weapons out this chapter. Glad that you like Ron's training guy, you'll be seeing more of him!)