Johnny wishes he was famous
Spends his time alone in the basement
With Lennon and Cobain
And a guitar and a stereo
While he wishes he could escape this
But it all seems so contagious
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
It had been a few months since Willow had died, for a few weeks William had been standoffish with people and kept to himself until the day he met this girl, that reminded him so much of his Red, her name was Tara she was a freshman at UC Sunnydale and didn't mind that he was in high school once he explained why he was 19 and still going through High school, ofcourse he also explained that he'd be graduating at the end of the year, Tara had smiled and told him that she'd go if he wanted. He told Tara everything as the weeks went on, including the stuff about willow, She held him when he cried about the girl, before he realised it he was kissing her, and she wasn't pulling away, she was kissing him back, putting soft touches on his face, then slid her hands to his chest to lightly push him away, "Wil are you sure? Are you ready?" the boy nodded "yes I'm positive. You're the first person since Willow that has made me feel something. Tara I need you I need this don't turn me away" the girl smiled and kissed him "Wil even if we didn't do anything tonight it wouldn't be me turning you away. Just making sure you're ready, I mean not five minutes ago you were crying over your best friend that you were in love with" Spike nodded and bit his lip "yeah I get it. Maybe we should wait. B-but you won't like turn on me or nothing right?" Tara hugged him gently "Never ever Wil. Promise" he smiled as he got up "I'd best get home. My brother's probably pacing around waitin' for me" Tara got up and walked him to the door of her dorm room and hugged him before he left "I'll see you tomorrow my sweet prince" he smiled and Winked "Till tomorrow my darling lady"
I remember feeling low I remember losing hope I remember all the feelings And the day they stopped We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent we are, we are.
Spike walked home a little happier that night, a smile on his face as he walked in the door, he saw Xander standing there with a terrified look on his face Wil frowned and looked at him "Xan what's wrong?" The dark haired man flew at him slamming him into the wall violently, he was drunk again "Where the fuck have you been?" Wil winced slightly "I-I was with Tara. I'm sorry I shoulda called" Xander nodded and lightly kissed the younger man's forehead "I thought something happened to you. Never do that to me again" Wil nodded a bit and pulled away rubbing his back a bit cos it hurt when Xan slammed him into the wall "I think I'm gunna go stay with Mum and Da tonight Xan" The dark haired man shook his head "no stay here" Wil perked a brow "Xan what's goin' on you're scaring me" Xander shook his head "they're not home that's all" the dark haired man advanced on his baby brother and kissed him roughly on the lips Wil pulled away "Xan...I don't think I can..I mean yeah I feel..But Tara and me.." Xander grinned and pulled him close "she doesn't need to know. Just give me this once William. I need you" Wil swallowed hard looking into his brother's eyes and gently reached out to touch the taller man's cheek "You're drunk Xan. And I wanna do this with you..Just not when you're like this. Why don't you go into your bed and lay down and I'll just come lay with ya, we'll discuss the other stuff tomorrow ok?" Xander nodded "ok..Don't be too long" Spike nodded as he watched Xander stumble to the bedroom and pass out.
Tina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie is a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she's never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
Xander's forcefulness had scared Wil so he just curled up on the couch and fell asleep watching TV. Though he had nightmares of Angel, intertwined with nightmares that Xander would do the things to him that Angel had done, he made a decision, he just had to get out of there, not let anyone except maybe Tara know where he is, it was early morning when he jumped off the couch and made the Dash for his room to start packing, Xander was still passed out thank god, once he had clothes and pictures packed up he started to sneak out the door, leaving only a note to say goodbye. The note read. Xan, Not really needed here anymore for anything Important.gone to get my own life. Sincerely, Spike
William was gone when Xander awoke but he saw the note and knowing that he'd used the name Spike when he signed he had a feeling he knew what was about to happen with his little brother, he was hitting the streets again selling his ass so he could run away, but why that's what Xander couldn't figure out, he paced a bit trying to think of what could make Wil go back to that life then the memories of the night before flooded his mind, the man sat slowly on the couch and put his head in his hands "oh god what have I done?"
Spike walked up outside of the local male strip joint that's also been known to have some of the dancers give extra "favours" for some of the more important clientele. It took the boy a matter of only minutes of talking to the manager of the club to have a job there; with his innocent look they wanted him to play one of the angelic characters in the show. He'd go onstage, dance, then if one of the men in the club wanted him for anything private he'd do that too. He'd told Brad his boss that he'd been around this stuff since he was 15 so doing extra favours for some of the men wouldn't be a problem.
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Xander had to make things right, he couldn't lose his baby brother again, he didn't mean to hurt him and he'd tell him this stuff when he found him. It was around 11pm when Xander made his way into the peppermint club, upstairs it housed the female dancers and downstairs it housed the males, The dark-haired man made his way downstairs ordered a coke and found a table, it didn't take long before they announced the "Dark Angel" coming onto the stage, Xander almost choked on his drink seeing that it was Wil, he sighed softly, he drove Wil to this. Xander went to Brad's office and booked the backroom for after "dark angel" was done his set onstage, Xander went into the back and waited he couldn't watch his brother do that to himself because Xan's an ass.
One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
No...
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
Wil came in after a few minutes then blinked seeing Xander in there, he was about to turn and walk out when the dark haired man gently touched his arm. "Wil I'm so sorry. I was insane last night I didn't want to hurt you. Or Drive you away" The blonde looked down trying to hide his tears "Y-you just went on impulse. I'm just a whore right?" Xander shook his head "no Wil you're not. You're a brilliant young man that got dealt a shitty hand in life. I fucked up last night. And I know I shouldn't want you but I can't help it" Wil nodded "yeah me too. But I want Tara too" Xander smiled a bit "you should get to be happy Wil. Doing this doesn't make you happy. I've seen you when you sit and write a story or a poem even; your eyes light up as you bear your soul on paper, its beautiful. Come home Wil. I promise I'll behave myself" Wil looked down then sat beside his brother "it wasn't what you did that made me run. It was the memories that came with it" Xander's eyes Widened "Angel did that stuff" the boy nodded "That's why I ran. I kept having nightmares about the stuff he did to me last night and he kept turning into you. I couldn't do to you what I did to him so I ran" The blonde was gasping for air as he sobbed, "What do you mean Wil?" He looked up "Angel said that I made him like he was. I made him do the stuff that he did to me. I didn't want to make you do the same things" Xander frowned and pulled Wil close hugging him gently "What he did wasn't your fault it was his. And What I did last night it was all me. You didn't do anything wrong I shouldn't have jumped you like that" Wil just leaned on him "maybe we could be together just once like you asked last night. But not tonight I'm still all wiggy" Xander chuckled a bit "yeah me too. Let's go home" Wil stood up and nodded "I'll be right back I just gotta change and get my stuff" Xander nodded "I'll be out by the bar" the blonde watched as his brother walked towards the front of the place then went to change, he met up with Xan a little bit later and the two headed home. We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Wil started sleeping in Xander's bed again that night because the nightmares about Angel still plagued him, every time the boy started to whimper Xan would roll over and hug him gently placing tiny kisses on his shoulders as he rocked the smaller man to sleep. "Its ok Wil. You're with me you're alright, I'll protect you" Wil always relaxed when Xander's arms would wrap around him, and he'd wake up in the morning feeling good, but also constantly finding himself in interesting positions, one morning he awoke with Xander spooning him and Xander's hand gently rubbing the bulge in his boxers, Wil groaned softly at the feeling of his brother wanking him off and tried to arch into the hand but couldn't really move because somehow Xan's legs had snaked around his own and left them a little tangled, the blonde wiggled a bit every time he'd move Xan would groan because Wil was wiggling against his morning erection, finally the dark haired man opened his eyes and almost lost it seeing Wil groaning in pleasure under his hand that seemed to have decided to do that stuff on its own accord, Xander bit his lip and let his hand slide inside of Wil's boxers, William started panting as Xander's hand started to move inside of his underwear, the blonde bucked his hips and moaned softly "oh bloody hell Xander that feels good", Xan smiled a bit and let his hand move a little faster, spike groaned and screamed as he neared release "OH DEAR GOD XANDER YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!" he finally screamed as he came all over his brother's hand, when Wil had gotten his release Xander laid back on the bed both men breathing heavily, Wil started to reach for Xander but was stopped "Its ok you got me off trust me" Wil nodded and started to get up "I better get ready for school then" Xander nodded a bit "hey you should invite Tara to dinner sometime" Wil smiled a bit and nodded "I Will" he waved a bit then headed off to shower.
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you'll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you'll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you'll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you'll stand up on your own..)
We are, we are all innocent
For the first time in a long time Wil had realised that he was going to be ok. Sure things wouldn't necessarily be normal with the whole sleeping with his brother thing, but noone needed to know about that, besides he had Tara now and things would be great with them too. He didn't see the car until it was too late, he couldn't run the car Sped up and hit him, he was right in front of the high school, his friends saw the whole thing immediately Cordelia Chase was on the cell phone calling 911, she even managed to get the license plate number, a couple of his male friends Oz and Jesse Hightailed it across the street and sat there with him until the ambulance came, Jesse borrowed Cordy's phone as they along with Oz made their way up to the hospital behind the Ambulance, Jesse Called Xander's cell phone since Xander was at work and told him what happened. Xander in turn called his mum who went to get the girls, principal Snyder the vile little troll went into the library and told Giles that his son had been hurt and gave him the rest of the day off to go and see to him. As Giles reached the hospital he saw Xander talking to a Doctor, then said doctor walked away, Giles looked to his son "Xander..Is he?" Xan forced a soft smile "he's in surgery. They think he'll be alright. It all depends on how this surgery goes. If Jesse, Oz and Cordelia hadn't been so fast as to call the Ambulance then he wouldn't have made it"
Wil was dreaming, everything was so bright around him he could see Willow, he smiled and started to go towards her she just shook her head "It isn't time for us Wil. Go back they need you" the boy perked a brow "What do you mean? You needed me and I failed you. I'll just do the same to them" Willow smiled "you didn't fail me Spike. You loved me and that means everything. Xander needs you, you're keeping him sane. And your friends they all need you. Your family will be hurt if you come with me. Go back. Wake up William" he jumped awake when she said that and groaned "oh bloody hell did someone get the number of that truck?" he hadn't even noticed that his girlfriend was in the room until she touched his arm "Wil thank god you're awake" he turned towards the sound of her voice "Tare?" she nodded "yeah sweetie" he smiled a bit "Its good to see you Luv. Sorry I had to get hurt first though" Tara grinned and kissed him softly "you're forgiven. I'm gunna go let everyone know you're awake ok?" he nodded a bit "ok" a few moments after Tara left the room everyone else piled in and he was showered with hugs and cuddles and damn it if his mother didn't start calling him her pretty baby again, he knew then that despite this accident he'd be ok.
Not to be yourself and faceless
In a song that has no soul
It had been a few months since Willow had died, for a few weeks William had been standoffish with people and kept to himself until the day he met this girl, that reminded him so much of his Red, her name was Tara she was a freshman at UC Sunnydale and didn't mind that he was in high school once he explained why he was 19 and still going through High school, ofcourse he also explained that he'd be graduating at the end of the year, Tara had smiled and told him that she'd go if he wanted. He told Tara everything as the weeks went on, including the stuff about willow, She held him when he cried about the girl, before he realised it he was kissing her, and she wasn't pulling away, she was kissing him back, putting soft touches on his face, then slid her hands to his chest to lightly push him away, "Wil are you sure? Are you ready?" the boy nodded "yes I'm positive. You're the first person since Willow that has made me feel something. Tara I need you I need this don't turn me away" the girl smiled and kissed him "Wil even if we didn't do anything tonight it wouldn't be me turning you away. Just making sure you're ready, I mean not five minutes ago you were crying over your best friend that you were in love with" Spike nodded and bit his lip "yeah I get it. Maybe we should wait. B-but you won't like turn on me or nothing right?" Tara hugged him gently "Never ever Wil. Promise" he smiled as he got up "I'd best get home. My brother's probably pacing around waitin' for me" Tara got up and walked him to the door of her dorm room and hugged him before he left "I'll see you tomorrow my sweet prince" he smiled and Winked "Till tomorrow my darling lady"
I remember feeling low I remember losing hope I remember all the feelings And the day they stopped We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent We are, we are We are, we are all innocent We are all innocent we are, we are.
Spike walked home a little happier that night, a smile on his face as he walked in the door, he saw Xander standing there with a terrified look on his face Wil frowned and looked at him "Xan what's wrong?" The dark haired man flew at him slamming him into the wall violently, he was drunk again "Where the fuck have you been?" Wil winced slightly "I-I was with Tara. I'm sorry I shoulda called" Xander nodded and lightly kissed the younger man's forehead "I thought something happened to you. Never do that to me again" Wil nodded a bit and pulled away rubbing his back a bit cos it hurt when Xan slammed him into the wall "I think I'm gunna go stay with Mum and Da tonight Xan" The dark haired man shook his head "no stay here" Wil perked a brow "Xan what's goin' on you're scaring me" Xander shook his head "they're not home that's all" the dark haired man advanced on his baby brother and kissed him roughly on the lips Wil pulled away "Xan...I don't think I can..I mean yeah I feel..But Tara and me.." Xander grinned and pulled him close "she doesn't need to know. Just give me this once William. I need you" Wil swallowed hard looking into his brother's eyes and gently reached out to touch the taller man's cheek "You're drunk Xan. And I wanna do this with you..Just not when you're like this. Why don't you go into your bed and lay down and I'll just come lay with ya, we'll discuss the other stuff tomorrow ok?" Xander nodded "ok..Don't be too long" Spike nodded as he watched Xander stumble to the bedroom and pass out.
Tina's losing faith in what she knows
Hates her music hates all of her clothes
Thinks of surgery and a new nose
Every calorie is a war
And while she wishes she was a dancer
And that she's never heard of cancer
She wishes God would give her some answers
And make her feel beautiful
Xander's forcefulness had scared Wil so he just curled up on the couch and fell asleep watching TV. Though he had nightmares of Angel, intertwined with nightmares that Xander would do the things to him that Angel had done, he made a decision, he just had to get out of there, not let anyone except maybe Tara know where he is, it was early morning when he jumped off the couch and made the Dash for his room to start packing, Xander was still passed out thank god, once he had clothes and pictures packed up he started to sneak out the door, leaving only a note to say goodbye. The note read. Xan, Not really needed here anymore for anything Important.gone to get my own life. Sincerely, Spike
William was gone when Xander awoke but he saw the note and knowing that he'd used the name Spike when he signed he had a feeling he knew what was about to happen with his little brother, he was hitting the streets again selling his ass so he could run away, but why that's what Xander couldn't figure out, he paced a bit trying to think of what could make Wil go back to that life then the memories of the night before flooded his mind, the man sat slowly on the couch and put his head in his hands "oh god what have I done?"
Spike walked up outside of the local male strip joint that's also been known to have some of the dancers give extra "favours" for some of the more important clientele. It took the boy a matter of only minutes of talking to the manager of the club to have a job there; with his innocent look they wanted him to play one of the angelic characters in the show. He'd go onstage, dance, then if one of the men in the club wanted him for anything private he'd do that too. He'd told Brad his boss that he'd been around this stuff since he was 15 so doing extra favours for some of the men wouldn't be a problem.
I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Xander had to make things right, he couldn't lose his baby brother again, he didn't mean to hurt him and he'd tell him this stuff when he found him. It was around 11pm when Xander made his way into the peppermint club, upstairs it housed the female dancers and downstairs it housed the males, The dark-haired man made his way downstairs ordered a coke and found a table, it didn't take long before they announced the "Dark Angel" coming onto the stage, Xander almost choked on his drink seeing that it was Wil, he sighed softly, he drove Wil to this. Xander went to Brad's office and booked the backroom for after "dark angel" was done his set onstage, Xander went into the back and waited he couldn't watch his brother do that to himself because Xan's an ass.
One day, you'll have to let it go
You'll have to let it go
No...
One day, you'll stand up on your own
You'll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped
Wil came in after a few minutes then blinked seeing Xander in there, he was about to turn and walk out when the dark haired man gently touched his arm. "Wil I'm so sorry. I was insane last night I didn't want to hurt you. Or Drive you away" The blonde looked down trying to hide his tears "Y-you just went on impulse. I'm just a whore right?" Xander shook his head "no Wil you're not. You're a brilliant young man that got dealt a shitty hand in life. I fucked up last night. And I know I shouldn't want you but I can't help it" Wil nodded "yeah me too. But I want Tara too" Xander smiled a bit "you should get to be happy Wil. Doing this doesn't make you happy. I've seen you when you sit and write a story or a poem even; your eyes light up as you bear your soul on paper, its beautiful. Come home Wil. I promise I'll behave myself" Wil looked down then sat beside his brother "it wasn't what you did that made me run. It was the memories that came with it" Xander's eyes Widened "Angel did that stuff" the boy nodded "That's why I ran. I kept having nightmares about the stuff he did to me last night and he kept turning into you. I couldn't do to you what I did to him so I ran" The blonde was gasping for air as he sobbed, "What do you mean Wil?" He looked up "Angel said that I made him like he was. I made him do the stuff that he did to me. I didn't want to make you do the same things" Xander frowned and pulled Wil close hugging him gently "What he did wasn't your fault it was his. And What I did last night it was all me. You didn't do anything wrong I shouldn't have jumped you like that" Wil just leaned on him "maybe we could be together just once like you asked last night. But not tonight I'm still all wiggy" Xander chuckled a bit "yeah me too. Let's go home" Wil stood up and nodded "I'll be right back I just gotta change and get my stuff" Xander nodded "I'll be out by the bar" the blonde watched as his brother walked towards the front of the place then went to change, he met up with Xan a little bit later and the two headed home. We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
Wil started sleeping in Xander's bed again that night because the nightmares about Angel still plagued him, every time the boy started to whimper Xan would roll over and hug him gently placing tiny kisses on his shoulders as he rocked the smaller man to sleep. "Its ok Wil. You're with me you're alright, I'll protect you" Wil always relaxed when Xander's arms would wrap around him, and he'd wake up in the morning feeling good, but also constantly finding himself in interesting positions, one morning he awoke with Xander spooning him and Xander's hand gently rubbing the bulge in his boxers, Wil groaned softly at the feeling of his brother wanking him off and tried to arch into the hand but couldn't really move because somehow Xan's legs had snaked around his own and left them a little tangled, the blonde wiggled a bit every time he'd move Xan would groan because Wil was wiggling against his morning erection, finally the dark haired man opened his eyes and almost lost it seeing Wil groaning in pleasure under his hand that seemed to have decided to do that stuff on its own accord, Xander bit his lip and let his hand slide inside of Wil's boxers, William started panting as Xander's hand started to move inside of his underwear, the blonde bucked his hips and moaned softly "oh bloody hell Xander that feels good", Xan smiled a bit and let his hand move a little faster, spike groaned and screamed as he neared release "OH DEAR GOD XANDER YOU'RE GOING TO KILL ME!" he finally screamed as he came all over his brother's hand, when Wil had gotten his release Xander laid back on the bed both men breathing heavily, Wil started to reach for Xander but was stopped "Its ok you got me off trust me" Wil nodded and started to get up "I better get ready for school then" Xander nodded a bit "hey you should invite Tara to dinner sometime" Wil smiled a bit and nodded "I Will" he waved a bit then headed off to shower.
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are all innocent (you'll have to let it go)
We are, we are (you'll have to let it go, no..)
We are (one day), we are all innocent
We are, we are (you'll stand up on your own)
We are, we are all innocent (you'll stand up on your own..)
We are, we are all innocent
For the first time in a long time Wil had realised that he was going to be ok. Sure things wouldn't necessarily be normal with the whole sleeping with his brother thing, but noone needed to know about that, besides he had Tara now and things would be great with them too. He didn't see the car until it was too late, he couldn't run the car Sped up and hit him, he was right in front of the high school, his friends saw the whole thing immediately Cordelia Chase was on the cell phone calling 911, she even managed to get the license plate number, a couple of his male friends Oz and Jesse Hightailed it across the street and sat there with him until the ambulance came, Jesse borrowed Cordy's phone as they along with Oz made their way up to the hospital behind the Ambulance, Jesse Called Xander's cell phone since Xander was at work and told him what happened. Xander in turn called his mum who went to get the girls, principal Snyder the vile little troll went into the library and told Giles that his son had been hurt and gave him the rest of the day off to go and see to him. As Giles reached the hospital he saw Xander talking to a Doctor, then said doctor walked away, Giles looked to his son "Xander..Is he?" Xan forced a soft smile "he's in surgery. They think he'll be alright. It all depends on how this surgery goes. If Jesse, Oz and Cordelia hadn't been so fast as to call the Ambulance then he wouldn't have made it"
Wil was dreaming, everything was so bright around him he could see Willow, he smiled and started to go towards her she just shook her head "It isn't time for us Wil. Go back they need you" the boy perked a brow "What do you mean? You needed me and I failed you. I'll just do the same to them" Willow smiled "you didn't fail me Spike. You loved me and that means everything. Xander needs you, you're keeping him sane. And your friends they all need you. Your family will be hurt if you come with me. Go back. Wake up William" he jumped awake when she said that and groaned "oh bloody hell did someone get the number of that truck?" he hadn't even noticed that his girlfriend was in the room until she touched his arm "Wil thank god you're awake" he turned towards the sound of her voice "Tare?" she nodded "yeah sweetie" he smiled a bit "Its good to see you Luv. Sorry I had to get hurt first though" Tara grinned and kissed him softly "you're forgiven. I'm gunna go let everyone know you're awake ok?" he nodded a bit "ok" a few moments after Tara left the room everyone else piled in and he was showered with hugs and cuddles and damn it if his mother didn't start calling him her pretty baby again, he knew then that despite this accident he'd be ok.