Chapter 2: Disconnected
By: ChaoticSpecter
Disclaimer: I own everything--That includes you.
A/N: The song used is 'Precious Things' by Tori Amos. This fic contains Shonen Ai. If you are uncomfortable with male/male relationships please stop reading and go elsewhere. For those of you who still remain, the tone of this chapter is completely different from the first due to the set up of the story. Each chapter is going to be three months apart, Each chapter showing how the relationship between Yamato and Taichi progresses and its significance to Taichi. Other than that I do not know--I'm writing this thing as I go along. But that is the general idea. This chapter really shouldn't be read by anyone not of proper age. It mentions sex--A lot. That was your second warning so if anyone decides to up and flame you did it after having read my pretty self-explanatory warnings. That was the end of my long-winded speech. On with the fic….
I don't know how I got here. Lying on my back, Yamato on top of me. But I know how it feels to have him in me. I know how it feels to have another human being satisfy me the way I cannot satisfy myself. It's been a while since I was with someone like this. But I can't help wondering why he came to me.
He has the most beautiful people in all of Tokyo throwing themselves at him on a daily basis and he chooses me--I don't understand. My foster mother always told me that I was ugly and the only talent I had was for soccer.
I'm not stupid, I know I'm not ugly; but I'm not beautiful either.
I don't usually sleep with guys like Yamato--I usually slept with losers. That's the only way to describe them. They were the type of people who talked entirely too much and thought entirely too highly of themselves, when in reality they weren't shit. But that was the type of person I usually gravitated toward when in need of a good fuck.
Those losers were some of the most annoying people I had ever come across--Even more annoying than perpetually happy people--And that's saying a lot. And yet I sought them out--Masochistic I know. This is why I am thoroughly convinced that I need to see a shrink in the worst way.
The most annoying trait amongst them had to be the way they were always seeking praise--especially after they fucked me. I couldn't stand the way they wanted me to act like they were the best fuck I had ever had. That was especially why I couldn't spend more than one night with them. I'd probably slit their throats otherwise.
They were way too arrogant for their own good. And they weren't half as good as they thought they were--But I fucked them anyway.
They were all handsome, but not in the way Yamato is handsome. He has more depth, character, and grace than they could ever hope to achieve in this lifetime. He is also a better lover than they could ever hope to be. Yamato isn't selfish and he pleases me--unlike them.
But Yamato is using me--Just like them.
And I am letting him--Just like I let them.
Sex with Yamato was addictive.
That's the only way to describe it. Once I had him, I had to have more. I was like a junkie in need of a fix. I was quite simply a nympho where Yamato was concerned.
After Takeru set us up, I never saw us here. Hell, I wasn't even able to picture the date--I've never dated anyone. But Yamato took me out and he was nice-- And he bought me stuff. It felt weird. No one's ever done that type of thing for me.
If he wanted to get me in bed all he had to do was say so--that or make a move on me. But he never did. He took me back to my place and said that he'd like to take me out again before he left. I didn't understand why but I said yes.
During our date Yamato asked a lot of questions and told me about himself. I found out some interesting things. One, Yamato is the lead singer of the Teenage Wolves--The hottest band in Tokyo.
And Takeru said he didn't get out much--He is such a fucking liar.
I also found out that Takeru set us up because he actually thought I was a nice person--That boy must be on so much crack.
But anyway, I never saw us here. We went out a few more times before we actually had sex. After that it was all over. As I previously stated, sex with Yamato was addictive. After that first night we went at it everywhere. It was ridiculous really.
We've done it against a wall in a darkened alley on the way home, in a stall in the restroom of a restaurant we went to on one of our dates. And in a darkened corner of some club he dragged me to with some of his friends--And that isn't even the half of it. As I said, it was ridiculous. But I couldn't stop.
Yamato gave better than he got--This was a new experience for me. And I couldn't help but wonder why the hell he kept coming back to me. Maybe I'm not as bad as I think I am, but I won't get my hopes up about that. I'd be making the same mistake as those losers if I did.
Right now I'm sitting on my bed in a pair of boxers contemplating what I'm going to wear. Yamato is taking me somewhere tonight. It's Friday so it'll most likely be a party--We always go to parties on the weekend. We can't during the week because I have work.
And speaking of work--What the fuck is up with my job? Every time I think about it I get a headache. I don't know what the hell I'm doing there--I don't even know how the hell I got the job. A clerk in a 'Hallmark' gift shop. How the fuck?
But that's getting off point. I don't know what I'm going to wear and Yamato is going to be here any minute. I pull a pair of black jeans from my closet along with a tight fitting black shirt that some girl from work gave me--I think it's a girls shirt, but it fits me nicely. And top the outfit off with my black Adidas zip-up hoodie. Yamato was knocking on the door by the time I'd finished dressing.
He smiled at me when I opened the door to let him in. "Hey Taichi," he said as he wrapped his arms around me and nuzzled his cheek against mine. He has been doing things like this a lot lately and I don't know what to make of it. I haven't been shown this much affection since before my parents died.
"Hey," I said arms circling him on their own accord.
"You ready to go?" He asks and I nod. Yamato grabs my hand as we leave my apartment.
"So…Where are we going?"
"Just to a movie. Maybe stop by a friends." I nod as Yamato lets me into his car before walking to the driver's side--He's so considerate. This is so weird--It's almost like I'm his boyfriend or something. This is the type of thing that a boyfriend does…right? That's what the girls at work always say when they complain about their boyfriends. I don't know.
Maybe I'm just reading too much into things--I do that all the time. Besides I don't even know what the hell I'm talking about; I've never had a boyfriend--Hell I've never even dated anyone until Yamato. He's as close to normal as I've ever gotten where sex is concerned.
When we get to the theater the line is half way down the block. "Well this is just great," I muttered.
"Don't worry, Takeru is near the beginning of the line." Yamato said as he took my hand--once again--and pulled me toward the direction Takeru was in.
"Hello, Taichi," Takeru chirps when we reach him. My God, this boy is even happy outside in the freezing cold.
"Hello to you too."
"So how have you been lately? I haven't seen you in a while." He says trying to start a conversation. I guess I could humor him.
"Same as always," I say eyeing him warily. I'm pretty sure he's going to pull something. I mean the last time I saw him I ended up with a date with his brother--Not that that was necessarily a bad thing.
But now I don't know what to expect from him. He's a breed of happy person I have never run across--Happy and vindictive. Not a good combination from what I've experienced so far and I don't want to fall into anymore traps. Even though I am the one who set myself up because I went over to his place for sugar giving him something to hold over my head. Damn it--thwarted by a perpetually happy person. What have I become?
"Why are you looking at me like that?" He asks after a while.
"No reason. So who's your friend?" I ask referring to the guy that was standing with him.
"Oh, this is, Daisuke," he says and his friend extends his hand toward me in greeting.
"Taichi."
"Nice to meet you," he says and I just nod and turn my attention to Yamato.
"What movie are we supposed to be seeing, Yama?" I've taken to calling him that during the past couple of weeks--Don't ask me why. I don't even know why he lets me call him that either. But he does, must have something to do with the fact that we're dating.
He shrugs. I roll my eyes.
We were silent for a while before I voiced the question that had been nagging at me since we met up with Takeru. "So…," I said and Yamato turned to me giving me his full attention. "Are Takeru and Daisuke together or are they just friends?"
Yamato snorted. "They like to insist that they are just friends, but there's more there." He said as he pulled me through the doors of the theater after having bought our tickets.
"Taichi, what city were you born in?" Yamato asked after we took our seats.
I froze for a split second before answering him. "Odaiba." I growled out. "Why?" Why does he want to know? He asks too many questions sometimes. Why does he ask so many questions? No matter what I say he's always trying to find out more. No one has ever asked me so many questions concerning me before.
"I was just thinking and I realized that you never told me where you were from. You told me that you moved here, but you didn't say where from." He responds.
I feel like he's trying to catalogue every little detail about me sometimes. He remembers everything I say to him no matter how small or insignificant. It's moments like these that make me wonder if he is indeed using me.
"Oh…"
"Taichi," Yamato whispers. No, whisper doesn't accurately describe it. Yamato has a way of saying my name that I can't describe. And he doesn't use that tone of voice except when he is addressing me, so I can't figure it out. I have no other point of reference.
He leans forward and brushes his lips against mine and I feel my heart jump in my chest and a shiver run down my spine--Oh. My. God. He always manages to affect me like this. It gets worse the longer we are together.
"I like you a lot." He whispers in my ear and moves his face to nuzzle the hollow of my throat.
So I'm more than sex to him--That is scary. But what scares me more than that is what I now realize--He's more than sex to me also.
After that night at the movies I adjusted my opinion of where I stood with Yamato. I now know that he wasn't using me at all. And looking back on everything now, it was beyond obvious that he wasn't. I mean he was genuinely affectionate since the beginning. But that obviousness was lost on me for reasons already stated.
It took a while for me to get used to someone having genuine interest in me as a person and for me to get used to the fact that I actually wanted to be around someone for something other than sex. But I somehow managed--Although I'm still a little weird about it.
Right now Yamato and I are at some party one of his friends are throwing. It's all right--At least it's not one of those clubs--They have too many people in them. I'm having a pretty enjoyable time and I've met some interesting people. They just randomly come up to me when Yamato leaves to get me a drink--Like right now.
I'm talking to some girl with pink hair that goes by the name of Mimi. She said she was a friend of Yamato's and started running her mouth. She's a pretty cool person--As far as perky people go. Yamato walked back up to me drinks in hand and smiled at the girl I was chatting with. They started a conversation and Mimi mentioned that she had been talking to me.
"Oh, I haven't introduced you two yet," Yamato stated looking between the two of us. "Mimi, this is my boyfriend, Taichi."
My mind went blank.
Mimi squealed. "Oh my God. You're Yamato's boyfriend? And I've been talking to you all this time. I feel so stupid," she said hitting her forehead with the palm of her hand before breaking out into a blinding smile. "I'm so glad to finally meet you," she said and flung herself at me.
I stiffened in shock. This was too much. First Yamato calls me his boyfriend and now I have to deal with this? Yamato pried her off of me and sent her away.
"Sorry about that," Yamato said smiling sheepishly. "She's just happy that I'm dating someone."
"That's okay," I answered distractedly. My mind was on more important things. How did this happen? Before I had a vague idea of what we were doing--Of where I stood with Yamato. Now I don't know what's happening; I don't know what he expects of me; I don't know anything. I feel completely disconnected--Like this isn't happening to me.
It's weird. I never thought I would ever feel like this in a situation where my life was not being threatened. But here I am, all confused and disconnected just because Yamato called me his boyfriend.
I am officially in uncharted waters here. I could handle being with Yamato more than one night because I was addicted and I could handle going out with him every once in a while because I liked his company.
But this I cannot handle.
I cannot handle being his boyfriend. I have never even been in a relationship with anyone. And now Yamato just suddenly announces that I am. When did this happen? When did I become more than just a fuck to him? I don't understand. I never even saw this coming.
"Taichi?" Yamato's voice brings me from my thoughts.
"Yes, Yamato?"
"What's the matter?" He asks sharp eyes intent on my face.
I shake my head trying in vain to get rid of the thoughts running through it. "Nothing."
"Are you sure?" He asks as he brushes his fingers against my cheek.
"No." I choke out. I don't know why I said that. Now he'll question me until he finds out. Wait, Yamato isn't like that--He'll give me my space.
"Do you want to leave?" He asked and I nodded giving my assent. Yamato grabbed my hand leading me toward the exit. He stopped to let his friends know that we were leaving and then he took me home.
"What's wrong, Tai?" Yamato asked from his spot next to me on the couch of my living room.
"I don't know."
"Did something happen while we were at the party? Are you sick?"
"Nothing happened. I'm fine."
Yamato wrapped his arms around me and held me against him while he slipped his fingers through my hair. I clung onto him needing his comfort and wanting to run away from him at the same time. I felt so confused. I don't know what to feel anymore.
Yamato thinks of me as his boyfriend, does that mean that I think of him as mine? Is that really what we have? We're in a relationship? It's bizarre, but so far it's been nice. Maybe I shouldn't think of this too much. I mean, Yamato hasn't done anything to hurt me so far--And I don't think he has it in him to do something like that. Yes, I am thinking about this too much. It's best to just see where this 'relationship' takes me.
"Yamato?" I asked leaning back to look into his eyes and Yamato loosened his hold on me.
"Hmm?"
"What do you feel for me?" I asked not sure where the question came from or why I was asking it.
There was a long pause before he answered. "I like you." He paused again before he continued. "I like you more than anyone I've ever been with. I feel that you are the only one that I can be myself with outside of my brother. I don't have to be fake with you."
There was another long pause before he continued. "I like your honesty. Hell, Taichi," he sighed. "There's too many things I like about you."
"You can be yourself around me?"
"Yeah. You don't criticize me for being me. I don't have to fear rejection over something stupid with you. I did in the beginning, but not anymore--You're better than that."
"How could you ever fear rejection from me?" I asked stunned.
"Oh, come on, Taichi." Yamato said in a patronizing voice. "You know you're beautiful. If I weren't dating you, guys would be lined up around the block hoping for a chance at you."
I choked. I cannot believe he just called me beautiful. And that part about guys lining up to get a chance at me? What is the matter with him? I have never doubted Yamato's judgement until now.
"Are you all right, Tai?" Yamato asked patting my back until my coughing fit subsided.
"I'm fine." I managed to wheeze out.
Yamato just stared at me--He did that sometimes. He would just look at me like he was searching for something and he would brush his fingers lightly against my face. "You do know you're beautiful, Taichi?" He asked. "Don't you?" He prompted when I made no response.
"Taichi," he sighed when I still refused to respond. Yamato pulled me back into his arms and I rested my head upon his chest.
"I don't think so," I finally responded. "I've never thought I was beautiful."
Yamato tightened his hold on me before he spoke. "You are the most beautiful person I have ever met." I tried to pull away from him after he said that but Yamato wouldn't let me move. "I mean that, Taichi. You're beautiful inside and out. I haven't run into a lot of people as beautiful as you."
I snorted. He has undoubtedly seen people more beautiful than I am. "That's a lie and you know it, Yamato."
"I have seen many people with beautiful faces yes. But I have rarely seen any genuinely beautiful people. You're one of those people, Taichi. You aren't superficial; you're real. You aren't afraid to be who you are. You don't give a fuck what people think. Your attitude only amplifies your physical beauty; making you one of the most beautiful people I have ever known."
I felt tears sting my eyes after Yamato finished speaking. That was one of the best compliments I had ever heard--And it was directed at me. I was so overwhelmed by the sincerity in Yamato's voice that I could only bury my face in the hollow of his throat and cry. Yamato held me fingers slipping through my hair until the tears subsided and I fell asleep.
A/N: Yeah, I know, like the first one wasn't long enough. But I would like to thank Lady Dragon Daiken Priestess, Sillie, Innocent Wolf, Izzra, Riviera, PrincessSwifty, and Heaven's Angel Chick for their reviews. They mean a lot to me. This is my first Yamachi and I was a bit uncertain about posting it. I'm glad that you guys like it. Thanks for the encouragement--It's much appreciated.