Chapter 5a: Kiss the Rain
By: ChaoticSpecter
Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon.
A/N: This chapter fic contains Shonen Ai. If you are uncomfortable with male/male relationships please it the back button on your browser. Everyone that remains, enjoy. I would like to thank all of my reviewers. I greatly appreciate you guys taking the time to tell me what you think of my fic. I would also like to offer special thanks to Anime Writer2 for the beta job.
It's four o'clock in the morning and I'm staring outside of the living room window while listening to 'Kiss the Rain' for the hundredth time [1]. If Takeru were here, he would have tried to kill me a long time ago and Yamato… Well his absence is the reason I'm sitting here right now.
I miss him so much--I miss him so much it hurts. I didn't even know it was possible to miss someone this much until Yamato left--Fucking tour. I don't want Yamato to be gone; I want him to be here with me.
This is all so weird. I'm not used to missing anyone or anything. I didn't miss Odaiba after I left and I sure as hell didn't miss the Niwa's. The only time I remember missing anyone was after my parents died. I barely remember them now; all my memories of them are vague.
But I miss Yamato. I feel like a part of me is missing; I need him here to be complete-- I don't want to do anything when he's gone, nothing has any meaning. There's no reason to wake up in the morning if I can't see his face; there's no reason for me to go to sleep at night if I'm not in his arms. Nothing has any color; everything is gray [2].
I sound pathetic. I didn't know I was even capable of being this sappy until Yamato. But I don't care about how sappy I'm being right now; I just want Yamato to be here. I want him to hold me in his arms, I want him to whisper in my ear, and I want him to…Hell I don't care what he does. I just want him near me. I want to see him; I need him--I need him more than I've ever needed anything.
Phone calls are not enough--They get start to loose meaning after a while. I feel like calling me is a chore to him, that he would rather be doing something else. There's always so much activity going on whenever he calls. He's always at some party or some club. The one time he called me when he wasn't otherwise engaged, he got mauled by groupies--They just came out of nowhere and jumped him. I would probably have found that funny if I hadn't been so damn jealous.
Yes, I was jealous of his groupies; jealous of the fact that they got to see and touch my Yama while I was sitting at home missing him something fierce--The bitches. I yelled at Yamato for an hour after that happened and I refused to take his calls for a week. That just ended up hurting me in the end. When I accepted his calls I could at least hear his voice, refusing to accept them left me with nothing.
Yamato was pretty pissed at me after that. The day I started taking his phone calls again I got bitched out. In the end I promised not to do something like that again and Yamato said he would try to call when nothing else is going on. He hasn't held up his end of the bargain though. I haven't brought it up, but I know he knows that I'm thinking it every time he calls me because he apologizes before I can even say anything about it.
I'm being such a bitch to Yamato without really meaning to. It's a wonder he hasn't snapped at me yet. Hell, I would have snapped at me a long time ago, I'm really starting to annoy the hell out of myself--I know I'm annoying him. But he doesn't say anything to me about it, he just tells me how much he loves and misses me. Which makes me feel like an ungrateful asshole on a daily basis.
Damn, I'll be glad when he comes home, then I'll be able to apologize to him in person. I'll be able to see him, to hold him…
Damn it I miss him.
~.~.~.~.~.~
I learned shortly after Yamato left that I can't sleep without him. It just doesn't work no matter how hard I try--I just can't sleep alone anymore. This is weird considering the fact that I've spent my whole life sleeping alone. All it takes is a few months of sleeping with Yamato consistently and I'm no longer able to. I guess that's what happens when you become dependent on someone.
I roll over and stare at Takeru. He looks very peaceful when he's asleep; not nearly as happy as he is when he's awake. He sleeps with me whenever I miss Yamato too much, whenever being alone becomes too much for me--Sweet boy. Most of the time his just being here helps me sleep, but sometimes it's not enough.
Damn it I miss Yamato so much. I miss having his arms around me, breathing in his scent every time I inhale. I miss being able to rest my head upon his chest and hear his heartbeat, the sound of his voice, his fingers in my hair…
A strangled sob worked its way from my throat and Takeru's eyes snapped open.
"Tai, are you okay…?" he asked voice full of concern.
"I'm fine," I answered while I rubbed at my eyes.
"I know you miss him," he whispered and pulled me into his arms. "It's ok, he'll be back in a few days. You've already survived the worst of it." That made sense; Takeru could always make me feel better.
I rested my head against Takeru's shoulder and chuckled as a thought occurred to me. "I wonder what Yama would think if he were to walk through the door right now." Yamato could be really jealous if given the chance--It's quite hilarious
"He would think that his brother was comforting his boyfriend while he was away," Takeru replied solemnly.
It was quiet for a while before I spoke again. "Teeks…?"
"Yeah…?"
"When are you and Daisuke going to start dating? Hanging around you guys with all the sexual tension is tiring."
Takeru inhaled sharply before he answered. "We're going on our first date next Friday," he whispered. I'm pretty sure if the light were on his face would be lit up like a Christmas tree from blushing so hard.
"Finally," I muttered. "Why next Friday…? Why not tomorrow?"
"Nii-chan," Takeru whined. He's been calling me that for a while--I like it. I get to be an older sibling, how cool is that? [3]
"Okay, I'll stop asking questions."
"Thank you. Are you okay now, nii-chan? Can you go to sleep?"
"Hai, ototo, I can sleep." [4]
Takeru went to sleep shortly after this. I have my ototou with me, now all I need is for Yamato to bring himself home and this family unit can be complete.
~.~.~.~.~.~
"Yama," I slammed into Yamato as soon as he stepped through the door, bags in hand. I covered his face with kisses and enfolded him in a hug so tight I was sure I was cutting off his air supply. Damn, I've never been so happy to see anyone in my life.
Yamato was just as enthusiastic when greeting me, hugging me just as tight as I was hugging him, planting kisses on my face and neck, whispering how much he missed me.
"You might want to move out of the doorway," Takeru said pulling me out of my Yamato induced haze. I looked at Yamato and smiled. I'm pretty sure I was wearing one of those big goofy looking smiles that people wear when they are happy as hell--You know the kind that make you look like a dumbass, but you're too happy to stop smiling?
Yamato smiled in return, although his wasn't goofy; couldn't be considered remotely goofy actually. It was more of a self-satisfied smile, a slight curve of the lips, most of his happiness shining in his eyes. It could be considered a smirk--And he had every reason to smirk. Not once did I tell him how much I missed him when he was gone, but I jumped him as soon as he walked through the door. Oh yeah, he was loving this.
I clenched my hands in the front of Yamato's shirt and started to drag him the rest of the way into the apartment, Yamato's arms firmly around my waist the entire time. I didn't want to let him go and the feeling was mutual. I managed to trip over one of his bags in the process--Takeru brought them into the apartment after I jumped Yamato at the door.
After helping me catch my balance, Yamato claimed my lips in a deep kiss. "I missed you," I whispered against his lips after we broke for air.
Yamato chuckled, "I missed you, too," he said, soft smile on his lips.
"I see that my presence will be ignored for a while," Takeru noted. "I'm going out with Daisuke. I'll see you when I get back, Matt," Takeru said on the way out of the door.
"Yeah…See you later," Yamato murmured, eyes intent on my own.
After Takeru left the apartment, everything was a blur. The only thing I remember being completely aware of was Yamato's entering me, feeling complete. Everything was so intense--It's amazing what missing someone does to you.
Afterward I lay in Yamato's arms, head resting on his chest listening to his heartbeat. Bliss. This is what I've been missing for so long. Lying in Yamato's arms, head on his chest, heart pounding in my ears, and breathing in his scent. This is what I've missed the most--Just being with him. I've craved his presence more than I've ever craved anything in my life.
"I hate it when you go away," I whispered.
Yamato's fingers stopped sliding through my hair and he sighed heavily before he responded. "So do I. Maybe next time you can come with me…?" he asked.
I tilted my head to peer at his face. "But I have work, Yama. I can't take that much time off."
"So quit." I just stared at Yamato after he said this, trying to tell if he was being serious or playing around.
"Quit…?"
"Yes, Quit."
"But…I wouldn't have a job, Yama."
"You don't need one." I just stared at Yamato clearly confused. Yamato sighed again before speaking. "I can take care of the both of us, Taichi."
"What…?"
"You know what I do for a living, Chi. I make more than enough money; I can take care of us. You can come with me whenever I'm on tour. We won't have to miss each other."
"What would I do while you're working? I wouldn't have anything to do."
"You could do whatever you wanted to, Taichi. I don't care what you do as long as you are with me."
"But…"
"What's the problem? You hate your job, why not quit?"
"…I'm not used to this."
"Used to what?"
"…"
"Forget I said anything, keep your job."
"What? Wait, Yamato, why'd you change your mind all of a sudden?"
"You're obviously not interested in what I'm saying so why push the idea?"
"Who says I'm not interested?"
"You have objections to quitting your job. Since that is what I'm asking you to do, you are obviously not interested in what I'm saying."
"Why are you getting angry, Yamato? If I did something, I'm sorry."
"Just forget it, Taichi."
"If having me quit my job is so important to you, I will. I just don't know what I'll do with all of that free time. I'm used to working, Yama. I've been working for as long as I can remember."
"But you don't need to anymore, I can take care of you."
"Why is having me quit my job so important to you all of a sudden, Yamato?" I was curious. This just popped up out of the blue.
"It's always been important, I just haven't said anything about it until now."
"Huh…?"
"I've always wanted you to quit your job, Chi. I just didn't think it appropriate to bring it up until now."
"Because I missed you…?"
"And I missed you, but that's just part of it."
"Part of it…?"
One of Yamato's hands moved to cup the back of my neck and his lips whispered across mine before he answered. "I want to take care of you, Chi."
"Take care of me…?" I asked in shock.
"Take care of you," he responded before claiming my lips.
Yamato wants to take care of me--This is new.
"I'll quit my job in the morning; I'll let you take care of me," I whispered once Yamato pulled away from me.
As soon as I said that, Yamato smiled the brightest smile I've ever seen him give and held me to him, burying his face in the hollow of my throat. If having me quit my job makes Yamato this happy, I don't mind doing it. It's the least I can do after all that he has done for me.
To be continued….
[1] 'Kiss the Rain' belongs to Billie Myers.
[2] I borrowed this line from an Inuyasha fic by Kayla Chavi titled 'It all starts with a Kiss' great fic, check it out.
[3] Nii-chan means older brother.
[4] Ototo means younger brother.