Snow, Spells, and Secrets

by Atana

Severus Snape and his best friend Martis Vox find themselves alone at Hogwarts for another Christmas vacation. What they learned wasn't found in their schoolbooks!

DISCLAIMER: I must credit Bill Watterson (creator of 'Calvin and Hobbes') for the Dead Snowmen featured in this story. And stealing him as a teenager. And the song lyrics of 'Walkin' Round in Women's Underwear' were originally by Bob Rivers and done in the 1980's or there-abouts. Don't ask me how they knew it in 1973 Hogwarts.

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Snips and Spirals Fanfic:

"Snow, Spells, and Secrets"

Text by Lady Tesser

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Two students left in Slytherin again over Holiday Break. Britomartis Vox, thirteen-years-old, liked it that way. Everything was so much more relaxed and they had free reign on the school grounds.

"MWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!" Martis cackled, running around the Slytherin common room in jeans and a sweater. "Now those miserable fools won't get in my way! They called me MAD! Now I'll prove them RIGHT!! MWA-HA- HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!"

Watching from the side of the fireplace, perfectly still, was a slightly- bored-looking Severus Snape, soon-to-be-fifteen. "Will you stop that? The ability to eat ice cream in your bed without your roommates objecting hardly constitutes a major plot to overthrow civilization."

"But now I can eat it in THEIR BEDS!" Martis chortled. "So I don't get mine messy!"

"And when they return after Holiday break and find their beds have become mildew farms ... ?"

"It was Filch's fault, of course," she answered as she bounded up to him and began playing with his hair. "All the girls tell stories of the disgusting things he does while we aren't looking."

"Oh, really?" Filch commented coldly.

Martis and Sev both yelped and grabbed each other in panic.

"Is that showing proper respect for your elders, then, Miss Vox?" Filch asked.

"Er ... it was a joke, sir?" she asked feebly. "Tee-hee?"

Filch sneered as Mrs. Norris leapt up into his arms and he patted her head. "I do not have a sense of humor that I am aware of." One eye twitched in its socket. "I expect this holiday to be quieter than the last. No turnin' glass windows into butter or the like."

"We had nothing to do with that," Martis insisted.

"Don't lie to me," he snorted. "I'm keeping my eye on the both of you these next few weeks. After your ... Box Prank ... I expect you both to be quiet."

"Mr. Filch!" Rowena Price, the House Mother, cried as she entered the room. "I had no idea you were here. Would you like some tea before you go?"

"No, thank you, Miss Price. I'll be on my way." He gave the two Slytherin teenagers a smarmy smile, then left the common room.

"You heard the man," Martis whispered.

Sev nodded, releasing her. "'Quieter', he said."

"Exactly." She poked his shoulder and whispered, "Bother."

He poked back, grinning and whispering, "Bother."

"Bother."

"Bother."

"Bother."

"Bother."

When Miss Price returned with tea things, the two students were poking each other at blinding speed, giggling, and whispering 'Bother' over and over.

She really did hope this holiday was going to be quieter than the last.

----------

Two days later, Sev and Martis returned from Hogsmeade with several packages and a large bag from Honeyduke's sweets shop filled with Cornish Pixie Stix and several blocks of chocolate. They had even stopped at Penny Trickle's Dry Goods Store for Sev to get Martis a bag of coffee - she retaliated by getting him a new potions' bag and telling him it was his fifteenth birthday present and he better like it.

(He loved it.)

They threw their packages on one of the couches of the Slytherin common room and rushed in front of the fire to warm up.

"It's still TOO cold!" Martis announced as she rubbed the edges of her green and silver scarf against her ears.

Sev pulled his own scarf and cloak off. "You're still not used to it?"

"I can't acclimate to this place." She pressed against him, shivering. "Warm me up, Snips! I'm freezing!"

Sev rubbed his hands briskly over her back as her teeth chattered. "Be a bad time for the Protection Spells to go off."

"It's set off by intent," she assured him. "We're safe."

Sev rubbed her back and pulled her close, holding her quietly. She finally stopped shivering and lay her head on his shoulder. "Warmed up, yet?" he asked softly.

"Yes. Thank-you, Snips." She stood on tiptoe and kissed the tip of his nose. "Come on - let's break out the chocolate and coffee."

He looked around. "Spirals, are you sure you want to indulge in the caffeine ... thing ... outside the Conversation Room?"

"Why not?"

"Because that WOULD set off the Protection Spells."

She raspberried him and plopped down on the couch. "You're too nervous."

"Considering your sister Phaedra and Monsoor Patil had set off the Protection Spells an hour after everyone left for the train, I do worry about it." He settled next to her on the couch.

Martis rolled her eyes and waved her hand in the air. "Phaedra is also talking about making babies next summer. She is Sixth-Year and Monsoor is Seventh-Year, it's not unexpected. My sister Xenia was pregnant her Seventh-Year."

Sev smiled nervously, crossing his legs and tapping his knee with a fist. "And what about you?"

Martis smirked, an eyebrow raised in a leer. "Well, if you really want to know - "

He picked up a pillow and tossed it at her. "Spirals!"

She tossed it back at him. "Someday, Snips. Someday. Not yet, though." She raised her arms and moved toward him, laughing. "But if you want any practice - !"

Sev screeched and jumped off the couch and she fell to the cushions.

"Stop that!" he yelped. "I just turned fifteen! I'm not like that!"

Martis sat up, grinning. "Oh, woe, he swings the other way - "

"Hey! I like girls!" He blushed bright red and covered his face with his hair. "I can't believe I said that."

"Oh, Snips, it's perfectly normal - I knew you had a crush on Lily Evans since last year, and it probably started during your First Year."

"Will you shut up, Spirals?"

"Make me some coffee and I will."

"Done."

----------

Later on that evening, filled with coffee and chocolate, Martis sang one of the old Minoan songs she had learned as a child. It was about the tragedy of the star-crossed love of a Priestess of Crete and a Soldier of Greece, and how they loved each other even though their countries were enemies - him performing unspeakable acts against her people and her slaughtering his men in return, shedding tears when they finally met again and admitting their darkness.

It was more soul-stirring than the simple plot explanation made it out to be.

Miss Price had gone to bed, leaving her alone, while Sev had gone to the library to do some research for an essay. Martis was in a lassitude she had never experienced ... and wondered why the mixture of coffee and chocolate was not prescribed to anyone with depression. It was certainly a delightful state of mind.

The door of the common room swung open and a little woman with wild black and brown hair crept into the room.

"Mrs. Norris," Martis called. "Good to see you again."

Mrs. Norris - the Animagus cat of Filch - placed her finger to her lips, her amber eyes darting around the room. "Martis, I've something to tell you. I was doing my rounds because Argus was asleep ... and I saw your friend Severus in the Restricted Section of the library."

"Restricted?" Martis repeated. "He said he had to do research for an essay. Maybe for Defense Against the Dark Arts class?"

Mrs. Norris shook her head. "It was potions books he was looking through. I don't like the feeling I get from that area, and any student in there after hours makes me nervous, indeed."

Martis got up and tied her shoes back on, then pulled her hair back in a ponitail. "Well, I guess we have to find out why he's there. Are you sure Filch is asleep?"

"Positive. When he sleeps, he sleeps like the dead." She waved the girl over and she herself dashed out the door. By the time Martis checked her reflection (making sure her sweater and jeans were not mussed up), Mrs. Norris was a Maine Coon cat again and was trottering off down the halls toward the staircase to the upper floors.

Martis rubbed her shoulders. 'Damned drafty castles,' she thought as she trailed after Mrs. Norris.

It was near midnight or so, she remembered, so there was no excuse for any student to be in the library at all. She suddenly wished she had brought Medusa along - pythons were usually good at helping scare off others - but Medusa was more content in keeping in her terrarium under the warm lamp during the winter months.

Up stairs, across walkways, down corridors ... and finally the dark library.

Madame Pince the Librarian lived in a few rooms behind the main desk, keeping close to her books and making sure no students came in during a drunken rash from a victory party to do any mischief. Martis tiptoed quietly past the rooms and front desk, then made her way through the shelves of books to the back where the Restricted Section was located.

She pushed the gate open, feeling the very air around her become deadly still. This had been the first time she had ever been in the Restricted Section, and it creeped her out. The air is NEVER this still ... or stifling. The closest comparison she could think of was being in the robe shop and trapped between a few racks of robes pushed too closely together. Even sound seemed to be muffled.

Hands grabbed her - one covering her mouth and the other around her waist. "Who are you and what are you doing in here??" a hoarse voice whispered against her ear.

Martis screamed into the hand, her teeth automatically biting at it. She managed to catch a bit of fleshy palm between her teeth, causing her captor to yelp in pain. In a single smooth motion, she grabbed the hand at her waist and swung the person around over her shoulder, landing him against a bookshelf.

"Ow," a familiar voice moaned. "Girls aren't supposed to be that rough."

"Snips??" Martis breathed.

"Spirals?" Sev retorted. "What the hells are you doing here?"

"I was going to ask you why you were here to begin with," she answered as she pulled him up. "Great Mother, are you all right? I didn't mean to hurt you!"

"My head's throbbing and my hand hurts," he replied. "Thanks a bunch."

"Well, you shouldn't be grabbing girls in dark places! If I had known you wanted to do something like that, I would have come dressed appropriately."

He snorted in the dark. "We need to get back to the dorms, anyway." He held her wrist and pulled her along out of the Restricted Section.

"What were you doing in here?" she asked. "This place is off-limits to students unless - "

"I got permission from Sartoris," Sev answered. "He wants me to study more advanced potion-making."

She nodded. "I can understand that - you're the best Potions student in the entire school. But why in the middle of the night?"

"To keep you out of it."

Both silenced themselves as they passed Madame Pince's rooms and did not speak again until they were outside of the library.

"Why keep me out of it?" she asked.

"Cause it's none of your concern, that's why."

"SNIIIIIPS!" she sighed in exasperation.

"Will you stop that? It's none of your business, so drop it."

Martis roughly linked her arm into his and pouted. After a moment, she lilted, "I'll give you ice cream if you tell me."

"Spirals, drop it."

Martis narrowed her eyes at him, then steered him toward the Great Hall. "We'll have ice cream, anyway. Filch is sleeping hard, so we don't have to worry about him."

Sev smiled in what seemed to be relief. "Ice cream sounds good."

A few minutes later, both had raided the freezer in the kitchens, (small) mixing bowls full of ice cream sat in front of them as they sat across each other at a preparation table right below Slytherin's table a floor above.

Martis peered at Sev's ice cream in the candlelight. "Green ice cream, Snips?"

"It's pistachio," he explained. "I've always loved pistachio." He swallowed a bit of the green ice cream. "It was actually the first thing I ever ate at the school. The Headmaster was shocked I never had ice cream before, so - not able to eat much of dinner - I had a bit of pistachio ice cream instead." He looked up to see her licking her spoon of strawberry revel. He felt a slight tremor at the action, and decided to ignore it.

She stuck her tongue out at him around the spoon and finished the last lick. "Why are you blushing?"

"I'm not."

"I can tell you are, even in candlelight." She ate another spoonful. "We need to braid up your hair again."

"Could you, Spirals?" he asked. "I haven't quite ... gotten it right without it being bumpy in places."

"Erm ... All right. I'll give you one of my hair ties, too." She pointed her spoon at him. "I'm going to get your hair out of your face, Severus Snape!"

"Only sometimes, Britomartis Vox." He shoved a spoonful of pistachio in his mouth. "I've had a crazy idea for a week now, and I need your opinion."

Without looking up from her ice cream, Martis supplied, "You would look awful in a dress, no matter what the floral pattern."

He gazed at her in puzzlement, then groaned. "I am not talking about wearing dresses!"

"Good. I don't think we're the same size, anyway. What idea did you have?"

"Making snowmen."

She stared at him. "Play in that evil white stuff? Are you insane?"

"But my idea is what makes it crazy." Sev grinned. "Purely perverse, deranged, and incredibly mad. Kids make snowmen all the time, but my idea takes it to a level reserved for the sick and twisted."

"Ooh, do tell!"

A little while later, having finished their ice cream, both left the kitchens giggling over Sev's snowman idea. Martis began singing: "Show me the way to go home / I'm tired and I want to go to bed - "

- as they rounded a corner and ran into Professor McGonagall.

"Well," McGonagall commented, standing in the corridor in her tartan robe and cap. "I'm sure you two have a reasonable explanation for roaming the halls at this hour."

"Indeed we do, ma'am," Martis answered. "We're chasing down the inflatable sheep to force a confession from it to clear our names concerning the vandalization of the pitch."

McGonagall raised an eyebrow. "I'm quite sure that's what you were really up to." She narrowed her eyes behind her rectangular glass-frames as she studied Sev's face and added, "Your mission also included a stop in the kitchens to sample the school's ice cream stores as well?"

"It was on the way ... " Martis admitted.

Sev giggled and blurted out, "It was a plot to lure out the sheep!"

Martis giggled and elbowed him.

"I suggest," McGonagall stated. "That you two better get back to your dorms before I decide to contact your House Master about this."

"Yes, ma'am," Martis said, grabbing his arm. "Sorry, Professor. Won't happen during holidays again."

Both ran down the hall toward the staircase to the dungeons, Martis gasping in giggles along the way. "Snips! Were you actually SILLY toward a teacher?!"

Sev thought about it as they slowed down. "I guess I was." His eyes widened. "Oh, Gods! I made a joke at McGonagall! Why didn't she hand us detentions or take points or something??"

"I don't know!" Martis laughed, spinning around and wrapping her arms around him. "Maybe she understands the need for ice cream. In fact, you have some on your cheek."

He blushed and slipped his tongue out to get it, but could not reach. Martis smiled and stood on tiptoe, darting her tongue out to scoop up the bit of ice cream on his cheek.

Sev felt his entire body tense. His senses were overwhelmed by her - her scent, her touch, her warmth, her mouth near his - and for the first time, he realized she was a Girl. Not just a girl, but a female with everything that made her a female, especially those strange firm-soft spots that were pressing against him. He wanted to scream in terror, but he also wanted to pull her close and never release her. Ever.

Martis felt things awaken deep in her gut, things that had only been prodded half-awake a few times within the past two years. It frightened and elated her at once, as she soaked in the tingling sensation in her body while she had licked his cheek. Seemed strangely taboo and yet wonderfully exciting, especially now that she noticed Sev's own musky boy scent through his usual odors of potions and soap.

Her surprised green eyes appeared over the frames of her sunglasses, looking up at his very wide black eyes. His liquid black eyes seemed to go on forever, allowing her to lose herself in their fragile beauty. Gorgeous, intense, sad, calming dark eyes that she could gaze into for the rest of her days.

She pulled back a little and breathed, "Gods, you have beautiful eyes, Sev."

He jerked away, staring at her in horror as his back hit the wall. He dug his fingers into the stonework, feeling the roughness scratch the skin of his hands. Why the Hells weren't the Protection Spells going off???

Martis stepped away, her shock masked by bafflement. "Severus? What happened??"

"I-I-I d-d-don't know."

----------

They decided to ignore what happened that night in the corridor. As if a Memory Charm had been cast over both, they put it out of their minds and charged out into the snowy drifts surrounding the school in the silver light of Midwinter the next day.

The air was still but crisply cold, making their breath come out in clouds around their heads, as Martis and Sev rolled up spheres of snow. Not too dry but not too wet, the snow graciously allowed itself to be manipulated by the two teenagers into a basic snowman.

Martis pulled her Slytherin scarf down her face to say, "Now, how are we going to make a hole in the torso?"

"You make the cannon behind it, I'll make the hole," Sev answered. He opened up his bookbag and pulled out a bottle of water and some sculpting instruments.

Twenty minutes later, one snowman had a gaping hole right through its torso. The face was looking down in shock while the stick arms were 'feeling' the hole. Behind it, a cannon made of snow stood silently. The tableau gave the impression that a man had been blasted through the chest with a cannonball and he was rather shocked about it.

"Sick and twisted," Martis commented. "I like it."

A few hours later, the expanse of lawn between the Forbidden Forest and the school was littered with snowmen in various states of violence ... one with an ice cream scoop in his back (another near him, enjoying a snowcone), several heads on sticks were shoved in the ground, one buried up to the waist and his arms waving around, another laying on the ground with sticks poking out of his back like the stabbed figure on the Ten of Swords Tarot card, still more in the body language of being poisoned with stick hands grasping their throats and distorted faces, and even one looking like he had been run over by a wagon - complete with tracks - and several snowmen standing around the 'victim' in states of grief.

"You two have WAAAAAY too much time on your hands," a feminine voice commented.

The Slytherins looked up to see Phaedra Vox and Monsoor Patil - wrapped up in their Ravenclaw scarves and colorful cloaks - grinning down at them.

Martis shook the snow caked on her mittens and stood up from where she was applying the finishing touches to a snowman getting ravaged by a snowbear. "We're having fun with it, anyway. What are you two doing out here?"

Monsoor blushed, making his earthy yellowish-brown skin flush with deeper color. "Cooling off."

Martis grinned, pushing her sunglasses up. "If my sister becomes too insistent, tell her that mole on her back looks like the Headmaster in profile."

"Well, that killed it for me," he admitted. "How you doing, Snape?"

"Well," Sev answered.

Phaedra piped up. "Been in a snowball fight yet, Baby Sister?"

"A what?"

Monsoor picked up a gloveful of snow and began shaping it into a ball. "You see, Britomartis, a proper Snowball for a snowball fight must be compact and aerodynamic. The proper Snowball is smooth, allowing the least amount of friction in the air as it is thrown. And the best throw is an overhand throw - allow me to demonstrate."

Sev leaned close to Martis and whispered, "Leave it to a Ravenclaw to make snowball-making into a science."

She giggled as Monsoor winded up for the pitch and slammed the snowball across the field and into the back of a decapitated snowman.

"As you can see," Monsoor continued. "It is supposed to splatter upon impacting it's target - "

He got a mouthful of snow, courtesy of Martis' own try at snowball-making.

Phaedra giggled as he spat snow out. "I take it you have declared war?"

Martis patted another snowball together as the Ravenclaws realized Sev already had a half-dozen made, two already in his gloved hands and aimed at them.

"SNOWBALL FIGHT!" Phaedra cried, and ducked behind a snow drift.

Monsoor followed her. Sev and Martis barricaded themselves behind the snowman-snowbear sculpture and began making more snowballs as two whizzed over their heads.

"Seems odd," Sev remarked. "Whenever the Maraudiots snowballed me, it was humiliating."

"This is way different," Martis reminded him. "You're allowed to fight back - only fair."

The snowball fight lasted a good ten minutes before Phaedra and Monsoor ran for it, screaming for a truce and the fact that it was too cold. Martis and Sev threw snowballs at their retreating backs, laughing and shrieking victory cries.

Martis fell back in the snow, giggling, and commented, "I can't feel a thing! Everything's frozen!" She spread her arms out and began making a snow-angel.

He watched her fan her arms and legs out, forming the outline of an angel in the snow. She got up and looked at her work. "Not bad."

Sev leaned back and dug his limbs into the ground, then scraped out a pair of horns over his cap-covered head and an arrow-tipped tail from his backside. He got up, grinning. "A snow-devil."

Martis laughed and shivered. "I'm going to go into hypothermic shock again - that one got snow down my knickers."

"Let's get in then," Sev suggested. "I think we did enough damage out here for the adults to worry about our minds." He picked up his bag and offered his hand to her.

Both made their way over the snow. Most of the snow had been used for their snowmen and the walk back to the school was not as hard as when they first came out.

"We missed a snow drift, Snips," Martis commented.

Sev looked at the drift against the side of the castle next to the entry gate. He dug into his coat and found his wand, bringing it out and pointing it at the snow. After a moment, he softly incanted a word she could not hear and the snow swirled around, solidifying into a large ice sculpture of a dragon.

Every muscle and sinew was perfectly executed, every scale etched into the ice, even the wings were powerful in the stillness, hinting at the mass of energy within the beast.

"Great Mother ... " Martis breathed, pulling her sunglasses down to gaze at it.

"Is it suitable, Spirals?" Sev asked.

"It's gorgeous!" She stared at him. "You are an incredible artist, Severus!"

"Not as good as you," he answered as he put his wand away and took her hand again as they entered the Quad. "I can't even draw stick people right."

"But you are brilliant at sculpture."

"By magic. If I use my hands then it'll be a mess."

"I'm trying to compliment you, damn it," she snapped as they entered the main hall.

"Sorry." He blushed. "Thank you."

Martis made a face. "Ugh - now everything's melting and my clothes are soaked!"

"Happens when there's snow in your clothes." A strange expression crossed his face. "Eww - mine are soaked, too!"

Both dashed to the Slytherin common room, offering the password, then rushing in. Martis immediately peeled off her boots and a couple of coats, tossing them on the floor with her green and silver scarf.

"Thank the Gods," Sev muttered as he unbuttoned his coat and pulled his cap down, shaking his black hair out from being plastered to his head. "A fire's already going."

"Cold-cold-cold-cold-cold-cold-cold!" Martis cried as she shimmied out of her soaking wet jeans and sweaters.

Sev took his boots off followed by his own Slytherin scarf and threadbare sweater. "And blankets, too!"

"Just need hot chocolate and coffee!" Martis said as she removed her thermals and hopped in front of the fire, rubbing her arms.

Sev finished shedding his own clothes and grabbed a blanket. He looked up and realized Martis was in her undergarments, her body beautifully toned and filling out nicely with wide hips and defined waist and maturing breasts cradled in ...

Martis returned the stare, seeing Sev for the first time. He was porcelain pale, thin and lithe, his torso covered in faint silver and pale pink scars from his bastard father's punishments. A light showing of dark hair centered down his breastbone and belly ...

Sev gazed at the whole composition of Martis and murmured, "Wow."

Martis' eyes dropped to his shorts and she released an involuntary, "Woof."

The Protection Spells were triggered - a shower of freezing cold water poured from the ceiling, encasing both in ice. Both squealed from the cold, faces red with embarrassment, trying to look away from each other.

Miss Price ran into the room, her indigo skirts brushing her green and white striped stockinged legs. Seeing the wet clothes on the floor, the Slytherin Duo in front of the fire, Sev with a blanket in hand, and both in their underwear, she sighed and folded her arms.

"I was wondering if the AHP System was EVER going to catch you two."

"Th-Th-This isn't wh-wh-what it l-l-l-looks like!" Martis chattered.

Sev shut his eyes tight. "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to look!"

Miss Price casually flicked her wand in their direction, releasing them from the ice, and both sprinted to their respective dorms. She gazed at the wet clothes and boots and coats on the floor.

"Gallo-darling?" she called into another corridor. "You will NOT believe what I just found in the common room!"

----------

Martis sat under the hot water of the shower, her knees drawn up to her chin and her arms wrapped around her legs, allowing the water to pour down on her as she sat on the tile floor of the Slytherin girls' showers and thought.

This was the first time she had seen ANYTHING of Sev. He always covered his arms and legs, even in hot weather, mostly to hide the bruises from his father. She did not blame him for this. He had told her of how the Marauders had tormented him before her arrival by forcing him down and pulling his uniform open to show off his humiliation to everyone.

And she had seen him this time. Since it had been several months since his last encounter with his father he was devoid of bruises, but he still bore the scars from fifteen years of physical abuse - and it broke her heart.

And she felt massive amounts of guilt. Instead of politely looking away, she checked out his package. And was impressed. Woof, indeed.

Hell and damnation. Damn, damn, damn.

He was her best friend! Severus Snape - the soul brother of Britomartis Vox. Her baby, the darling delicate child she protected from the world. Not some random male that she could ogle at. Even she had to admit Sirius Black was better looking, the conceited bastard. Snips was Snips was Snips. This was insane.

"Aaarrgghh!" she howled, the cry echoing in the showers. "Why the Avernus did I do that?!"

No answer. Medusa, laying in the hot steam away from the water, raised her head and flickered her tongue out. Most snakes were of the opinion that one should breed and get it over with, but she had no way of telling this to her thirteen-year-old mistress of the Human Hormone Imperative.

----------

Sev stared at the canopy over his bed that night, unable to sleep. He rolled over, stuffing his pillow under his chin. He punched his pillow and rolled completely over onto his other side.

Martis was the first girl he had ever seen in his entire life. The closest he had ever seen a girl's body was the Hogwarts Quidditch uniforms during tryouts - and even Martis' sundresses covered more. Seeing a girl in nothing more than her underthings nearly pressed him into a mental shutdown.

It was not due to anything except for the fact she was beautiful. He had no idea how beautiful girls could be, how delicately the curve of the hip met the slender definition of her waist, barely covered by a pair of pink -

She wore pink panties ...

Hell and damnation. He punched his pillow again. Damn, damn, damn!

He was fifteen-years-old. He was supposed to be chasing after girls, comparing notes with his roommates, trying to sneak around the Protection Spells. Greasy Severus Snape being a normal teenage boy and trying to Get Some.

The thought terrified him for some reason. Really, there should be no reason he should be scared ... he does have a girl willing to be close, someone who would be gentle, who did not seem to be adverse to sharing herself with him ...

Oh, hells, why was he even thinking of this?? He was a nobody, a greasy little git, a target for everyone. Martis was more worthy of someone else, not him.

Gods, she was so pretty ...

Sev slammed his head against his pillow.

----------

"Phaedra, we have to talk!"

Phaedra looked up to see her Baby Sister plop onto the bench across from her in the Great Hall during breakfast. The sunglasses were missing and Martis' hair was pulled back in a harsh ponitail, framing a face that obviously did not get any sleep.

"Sure," the eldest Vox sister at the moment replied. "Monsoor?"

Monsoor Patil nodded and got up, going to another group of Ravenclaws. Phaedra leaned forward. "What happened?" she asked. "Did Severus do something to you? Did he NOT do something to you? Did YOU do something to him and he said 'no'?"

"PHAE-DRA!"

"Sorry. Really, honey, what is it?"

Martis looked down at the table. "I ... saw him."

"How much?"

"Just in his shorts. In the common room. After we got in from the snow ... I wasn't even thinking, I just wanted out of my wet clothes and evidently, he did, too. And I ... looked."

"And what's the problem?"

Phaedra will remember this as the first time she EVER saw her youngest sister blush. "I ... I ... I shouldn't be looking at him like that! He's my best friend! He has enough problems in his life!"

Phaedra reached across the table and squeezed Martis' hands. "Honey, it's all right. It's natural to look. The rest of the family will be glad to know you did not follow in Adonia's footsteps in that respect." She smiled. "So, what did he have to say when the AHP System kicked in on you which it obviously would have?"

"He got it, too."

Phaedra raised an eyebrow. "Indeed?"

Martis nodded, not even looking at her. "Both of us covered in ice. Our House Mother came in and commented 'I was wondering if the AHP System was ever going to catch you two'." Her blush became deeper. "We never did anything! I only joke about it at Snips, but I wouldn't do anything to him!"

"Why's that?"

Martis sat quietly, then finally replied, "Because there's that little voice inside my head that says I'm not worthy of getting 'that' close to anyone. That if I do, he'll run off ... in abject terror. And from what I could tell, the whole thing horrified him, anyway." She shook her head. "Can't risk losing him because my hormones decided that he ... that his ... " Her eyes widened and her blush spread over her entire face. "I mean - woof ... "

Phaedra rolled her eyes; they were both from an Earthy culture, so it should not be a problem for a thirteen-year-old Cretan girl to say 'he gives me the screaming thigh-sweats'. Most especially if he is ... suitably built.

She shelved her curiosity on the subject for the time being. "Dear, sorry to tell you this, but that particular Protection Spell affects BOTH parties who are thinking along the same lines - Monsoor and I've been hit by it often enough. Whatever you were thinking, Severus was thinking it, too." She smirked in an Earthy way. "Meaning that if the Protection Spell had not gone off, you two would have been rolling around the Slytherin common room and doing the Ancient Rites - "

Martis looked up at her, her green eyes wide in shock. "No, he wouldn't have!"

Phaedra nodded. "He follows you around like a puppy, you have him wrapped around your finger, he clings to your every word, he tried to kill Sirius Black last year when you froze, you're the only person he allows to touch him, and he's entirely devoted to you. I remember how he was before you showed up; he was a nasty loner and the only time he ever smiled was a scary smirk when he one-upped the Marauders. And just recently, you both got hit by a Protection Spell. Face facts, Britomartis - Severus Snape is in love with you."

"No, that's not it."

"Oh, then it's simple teenage lust. That makes more sense."

"I thought you would intellectualize it!"

"I did. I spelled it out to you in four foot high flaming letters - and you still choose to remain ignorant on this point. Cleopatra isn't the only Queen of De-Nile, it seems."

"I AM NOT IN LOVE WITH MY BEST FRIEND!"

Phaedra pursed her lips together. "I never said that. You said that on your own."

Martis' face flushed nearly white as her nostrils flared and her limbs trembled in barely-controlled rage. She got up and stomped out of the Great Hall.

Phaedra returned to her own breakfast and sighed, poking her eggs with her fork. Her Baby Sister was going to go through a lot of heartache if this continued.

----------

Sev sat next to the floor-level window in his dormroom, staring out across the cliff-rocks and frozen lake below Slytherin Tower.

He had not left his room all morning. Why should he? Penderdandis was probably waiting for him with a lecture about setting off Protection Spells.

"It was only a momentary slip," he said aloud, his breath fogging up the stained glass window.

"What was?" a voice asked.

Sev looked up to see his House Master in the entry of the room, his dark blue robes filling the doorway. Sev ducked his head down again. "Setting off the Protection Spell yesterday. I didn't mean to - I didn't mean to look!" He pulled himself into a ball.

"Mr. Snape, you do not need to protect yourself from me."

Sev looked up cautiously. Admittedly, even though Penderdandis was a sour old coot, he was merely a windbag. Despite his threats, no one on staff or in the student body ever knew the Arithmancy instructor to ever strike a student. Bully, intimidate, and strike fear, but never abusing his charges.

"Reflex, sir."

Penderdandis nodded, pushing up his pince-nez glasses. "What makes you think you're any different from any other teenage boy on campus? Quite frankly, Miss Price and I were wondering how you two were getting around the AHP System."

"We never did anything."

"That I'm beginning to believe, considering your actions at the moment. I am gladdened you realize that such things will not be accepted, even if it is between friends."

Sev blushed, hiding his face behind his hair. "We're only friends. There's nothing going on. Do you have any idea how weird it is when I come into my room at night and my roommates want 'details' of things that never happen? I've yet to figure out what half the stuff they say IS! We're not like that!"

"Do not shout, it shows bad breeding." Penderdandis folded his arms. "Mr. Snape, if you dwell upon a problem, it will build and fester to the point in which you cannot handle it. Since nothing had happened and yesterday's occurrence was an accidental fluke, I suggest you go on with your life and forget it."

"Is it ... all right to?"

"Yes. I'd rather deal with your pranks than having to Floo your wretched father about you getting a girl pregnant."

Sev felt the room get cold. "Anything but that - and nothing will happen."

"Good. Now take care of yourself. I expect to hear about you two turning the castle walls into Jello or the like the next time you get in trouble. Understand?"

"Yes, sir."

Penderdandis left the room and Sev stretched his limbs out.

All right. Nothing will happen. He simply will not allow himself to get into situations involving him and Martis in their underwear (or less), even if it was innocent. Not worth getting in trouble over.

Pink - !

----------

Sev showered, dressed in his old tunic and trousers, and braided his hair back. He had no idea what to say to Martis - an apology, maybe? Perhaps she thought nothing of it. Or maybe she was laying in wait for him, ready to 'educate' him on matters she would know more about than he did.

That bothered him for some reason ... his Martis probably had experience in those mysteries. Likely with one of those tall, dark Cretan bull-leapers that are not reserved or shy or damaged ...

And why was it any of his business, anyway?

He peered into the common room, seeing her seated before the fire and in the process of braiding her hair into several braids. All right, she was occupied with something, which meant there would be no surprises.

Sev rounded the couch and sat next to her. "Hey."

Martis glanced up at him, hair tie in her mouth as she braided. "Hey," she murmured around the hair tie. She pulled it out of her mouth and tied the end of the braid. "I was thinking that the Droolers would not be able to keep up their Truce much longer, considering what they went through with the Box."

"Probably not," Sev agreed. "We should think about a retaliation if they do something."

"Only fair," Martis confirmed. "Justice is a Bitch and she's quick." She picked up another strand of hair and combed it out to braid. "We must have contingency plans, depending on how they take their targets - you, me, or the both of us."

"That will also depend on what they do," Sev added, picking up a strand of ash blonde hair and beginning to braid as well. "In what way do we rank their offenses?"

"'Bad', 'terrible', and 'blood sacrifice'."

He chuckled. "Don't tempt me, Spirals. I know plenty of potions that could use their blood."

She shook her head, careful not to get her hair pulled. "I doubt you'd allow any potion of yours to get contaminated by their fluids."

"Mm. Granted." He tied off the braid he was working on and began to work on another.

Nothing mentioned about what happened. No indication that she hated him. It was as if the situation never occurred. Did he dream it?? No, he was quite certain - now that he thought about it - he would never imagine her wearing pink panties.

He blushed at the thought. Damn. This was going to take some time to get over.

----------

The following morning, Christmas Eve, Martis and Sev bundled themselves back up and headed out to the lawn where their snowmen still stood silently in their depravity and death.

"Anything more we can do?" Martis asked.

"One more," Sev answered. "I came up with it last night."

"What is it?"

They began rolling out balls of snow. "Something I read in a book by someone named Mary Shelley."

"'Frankenstein'?"

"How'd you know?"

"Popular Muggle writer. And has several movies based on the book - although all of them go for the campy gothic angle, especially the recent ones."

"I've never seen any movies."

"I've seen a few. It's like wizard photographs, only about two hours longer with dialogue and a plot and stuff." She patted her snowman torso upright. "So, this is going to end up being a walking snow zombie?"

"Only an experiment, Spirals, to see if it can be done."

"So why not just make a Golem?" She glanced up and saw another student walking around the snowmen, sketching in a pad. "Who's that?"

Sev turned and glanced at the dark-haired student with glasses. "That's the American exchange student - Billy Watterson. He's in my History of Magic class; he's staying with the Hufflepuffs during his visit."

"Who's he talking to?"

"His familiar - an orange cat that stays in his bookbag. Never see the damned thing except its head now and again. I think it talks back at him."

Martis giggled. "Wonder what he thinks of our snowmen?"

"Who cares. Come on, we need to make this thing lay down."

An hour later the Frankenstein monster snowman was formed, laying on the ground and staring up at the lead-gray sky with a pair of schist-rock eyes.

Sev raised his wand and tapped the 'forehead' of the snowman. "I call upon the snow sprites to animate this being of ice crystals and flakes - "

A blue bolt zapped from his wand and struck the snowman's body, making it shudder and twitch as well as knocking Sev back into the snow. "WHAT HAPPENED??" Sev cried.

"You called upon the Elementals! They LIKE challenges like this!" She grabbed his scarf and dragged him behind her as she ran. "NOW RUN!"

Sev was half-dragged and half-stumbling across the landscape away from the scene. He glanced back and saw the snowman pull itself up and howl ... and clamor after them.

Martis had no idea Sev could run so fast.

----------

Minerva McGonagall gazed out of the window, meditating upon the exquisite elegance of the snow and landscape. "Simply beautiful," she murmured.

The beauty of the scene was interrupted by Slytherins Britomartis Vox and Severus Snape running like hell across the lawn. Immediately on their heels was a large snowman with two heads.

"Albus?" she said aloud. "There appears to be a Snow Goon running amok again."

"Hmph," Albus Dumbledore sighed. "It's been a few years, hasn't it? Who created it?"

"It appears to be young Mr. Snape and Miss Vox."

"Ah, then they should be able to take care of it. Come back to bed, it's cold."

McGonagall turned and walloped the school's headmaster. "You're in my office - now stop that and drink your tea!"

----------

"What are we going to do, Snips??" Martis gasped, running across the courtyard.

"I'm thinking!" Sev snapped. "And why don't you come up with something? You're a witch!"

"You're the one who created it! Besides, a walking body of snow is my worst nightmare!"

He ducked behind a stone wall and grabbed her coat to pull her back with him. "Shh!"

The Snow Goon staggered, the two heads looking around for them, then hobbled off.

Martis and Sev gasped for breath. "When did it grow two heads??" she wondered.

"I'm less concerned with that than how we're going to get rid of it."

Martis snorted. "I can't believe our first child was a snow monster!" She got a lopsided half-grin. "I think I'll name it 'Snookums'."

"OUR first child??" he repeated. "You blamed ME for it!"

"Yes, I was present at it's creation. But you were the one waving your wand."

"You didn't say no!"

"I was facing the other way! How was I supposed to know what you were doing?!"

"It was your idea!"

"Just like a male! You want all the excitement but none of the responsibility because your wand goes off!"

The roar behind them made them turn around and see the two-headed Snow Goon leaning over them, drooling icicles over their heads.

"AAARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!"

They jumped up and dashed away.

----------

Phaedra, Monsoor, and the rest of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team that stayed over the holidays were walking toward the pitch for practice, their robes trailing in the snow.

"RUN!" Sev yelled. "MUTANT MONSTER COMING THROUGH!"

"RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!" Martis added.

They scampered between the members of the Ravenclaw team and raced off.

"Not the bunny rabbit again," Monsoor sighed.

"A killer one or a large wooden one?" Seeker Johnny Jensen asked.

The Snow Goon snarled, rambling after the two Slytherins and ignoring them.

Phaedra rolled her eyes and sighed. "Xenia's going to plotz - we told Baby Sister she was too young to make living things with strange boys."

Monsoor Patil nodded. "Snape does count as quite strange. Should we rescue them?"

Phaedra pondered the question for a moment, then shook her head. "No - we'll just inform a teacher or a prefect or something. If we rescue Martis, she'll whine at me for weeks, saying that she's a big girl who doesn't need hand holding, she can take care of herself, blah blah blah."

Monsoor smiled merrily. "Sounds like my little brother."

---------------

Martis and Sev stood in the greenhouse, catching their breaths as they worked out their plans to berid the school of the Snow Goon Menace.

"It won't go into warm places," Sev reasoned.

"What about everyone out there?" Martis asked. "It might attack them instead."

"Doubtful. It's only after us."

"Should we set it on fire then?"

"No can do; the sticks of the arms are soaked, they won't catch. Any fire- spells we throw at it will be put out." Sev sat on a workbench, pulling his cap off and shaking his hair out of 'hat-hair' formation.

Martis sat next to him, shedding her mittens and rubbing her hands together for warmth. "What about exploding it?"

"Ice crystals are just as self-cohesive as water," he answered disdainly. "They'll just form into dozens of tiny Snow Goon miniatures, then reassemble. Didn't you pay attention in Potions class?"

"I never had experience with ice, PROFESSOR Snape," she retorted.

"Wait a minute - !" He got up and began pacing around. "Ice ... Ice might be able to do it! If we can freeze it - !" Sev grasped her wrist and pulled her up with him as he dragged her this time.

"What is it?" Martis asked.

"We need a large amount of water - the lake!"

"WHAT?" she demanded.

He snorted. "Watch and learn, you silly girl."

Sev released her hand and yelled, "HEY! DRIP-BRAIN! OVER HERE!"

He was answered by a roar. Sev grinned and clutched her wrist again, turning around and leading her to the lake. "I need your help - you can either be bait or blast a small hole in the lake's ice."

Martis looked up at him, a goofy grin on her face, and replied, "I'll play bait. Have anything in mind?"

"Keep its attention on you. When I tell you to duck, you get out of the way. Don't get any ideas - I know what I'm doing and it can't be ruined by anything else."

"All right." She rubbed her face, feeling the warmth penetrating through her nearly-frozen skin. Yes, she was blushing from excitement ... On impulse, she threw her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. "Good luck."

He nodded, turning to make his way to the edge of the lake.

Martis spun around and faced the Snow Goon coming for her. "Yes!" she cried. "I give up! I surrender! Rend me limb from limb! Ravish my teenage body! You monster!"

Sev snorted. "Does she have to do that?" he muttered. "Can't go five minutes without talking about being ravished ... "

He blasted a hole in the ice just as the Snow Goon approached her. The creature seemed quite distracted by her histrionics and did not even look up when the ice shattered.

"SPIRALS - DUCK!"

Martis pirouetted out of the way, nearly dancing across the surface of the snow, as Sev waved his wand upward and cried out, "UNDIACCIO!"

The lake spewed a pillar of water out of the hole in the ice, spraying toward the Snow Goon with enough force to knock it to the ground, freezing it to the snowy lawn with twin looks of petrified horror on both faces.

Sev gazed in shock at what he did. It should really not have worked - the idea that he could combine spells and use it to freeze a magically-created snowman was insane and really should NOT have worked. At all.

Then again, it should not have come to life in the first place ...

He was knocked to the ground by Martis who hugged him fiercely and giggled about her hero rescuing her from the mad monster.

----------

Christmas Eve in the common room again after dinner. Miss Price had arranged bedding on the couches in front of the fireplace with little name- cards on each person's bedding (on opposite sides of the fireplace, with Miss Price's chair between them).

"She acts like she doesn't trust us," Martis commented as she plopped down on the couch labeled hers.

"Can you blame her?" he muttered. "Considering she caught us ... with a Protection Spell going off."

Martis adjusted her sunglasses, her mouth a thin neutral line. "Let's break out the chocolate and sing carols in Chinese."

Miss Price entered the room, her large basket of knitting in hand. She eyed them carefully through her large, round glasses, then settled in her chair. "Good evening, children. Seems it's the three of us again this year."

"Could be four," Martis replied. "Why doesn't our House Master join us? Or is he allergic to students during the holidays?"

"I think it's us in particular," Sev piped up. "He thinks we'll write words on his forehead while he's sleeping."

"Of course not! We'll simply use a clown make-up kit on him. And maybe draw a mouth on his forehead."

"Several - all those worry lines."

"That's from us, Snips. You see, before we arrived, he was a handsome young man of twenty-six, now he's a broken-down old coot at twenty-eight."

Miss Price smirked. "At twenty-six, he was indeed a handsome one."

Martis grinned. "Oh! So you knew Professor Penderdandis way back when?"

Sev made a face. "I feel a Girl Talk thing coming on."

"Shush, Snips."

Miss Price shook her head. "Way back when dinosaurs ruled the Earth, too."

"Nonsense," Martis assured her. "But did you know any Elder Gods personally?"

Miss Price swatted the girl with her wad of knitting, then both began laughing. Sev was not sure what happened and decided to toast a crumpet over the fire.

----------

The evening wore on as the two students sang carols, wolfed down chocolate and crumpets and hot chocolate, compared notes on their holiday essays, braided back Sev's hair, and talked about the upcoming Quidditch game between Slytherin and Ravenclaw.

Mini-matches between Slytherin and Ravenclaw over the past few months had shown that the Vox sisters (Phaedra and Martis) were much too polite to each other on the pitch - Martis never hit a Bludger at her sister and Phaedra was never seen to block her sister's shots at Ravenclaw players.

Martis knew the team captain, Onslow Daizer, was going to give her a talking-to come game time.

However, that would be in another few weeks.

Both students were settled on the floor next to Miss Price's chair as Martis related their adventure with the Snow Goon.

"You should have seen him, Miss Price," Martis giggled. "After making that thing, he took responsibility and destroyed it."

"It should not have worked to begin with," Sev reminded her as he sat up and leaned back against the arm of their House Mother's chair.

"You called upon Elementals - they'll do it without asking." She crawled over and thunked him in the forehead with a finger. "And what lesson did you learn from that?"

He smirked. "Don't ask you to be bait - you'll embarrass me in front of the monster."

Martis pulled her sunglasses off and threw them at him. He picked them up and tossed them on a coffee table. "You're mean, Snips." She crawled over and snuggled against him. "But I suppose I'll have to forgive you."

"Forgive ME? And what were you doing the whole time?"

Don't confuse the issue with facts."

He glanced up at Miss Price who was outright staring at them. He bit his lip, watching her reaction as he drew his arms around his best friend.

Nothing. Miss Price did not show any sign of disapproval. She continued her 'watchful old lady' routine as they continued bickering over who was really responsible for the Snow Goon.

----------

A soft snore issued from Miss Price later on that night. Sev glanced up to see her chin on her chest, her knitting slipping out of her hands.

He looked back down at Martis, still in his arms, also sleeping.

So pretty. It would have been quite simple for him to lower his face and kiss her. Of course, knowing his luck, his stupid nose would get in the way and he would poke her eye out or something. He found himself wondering what would happen if he did kiss her and the Protection Spells were not in place ...

A very naughty thought crossed his mind. He did not know if she would wake up if he did it, but the temptation was too much for Sev to resist.

Carefully, he reached toward her ...

Martis awoke. Sev seemed to be asleep, his arms still around her, and Miss Price was asleep in her chair. Gently getting up so as to not disturb Sev, she went to the WC.

Once she finished her business, she was washing her hands and glanced in the mirror.

There seemed to be dark marks between the strands of her bangs, and she brushed them aside to see what it was.

On her forehead was written in a very precise hand -

[Snips' snow-bunny]

Two things crossed her mind - one was that she was impressed how he wrote it backwards across her forehead so that she could read it in the mirror. The second was that she was shocked he had both sense of humor and guts enough to actually write such a thing.

He pranked her.

A warmth spread through her. Snips' snow-bunny. She giggled, feeling her ears get hot. It was funny and precious and wonderful of him.

Quickly washing it off, Martis checked herself over for anything else he may have done (if he had written 'Property of Severus Snape' on her sweater, she may have let it slide). Finding nothing else, she went back into the common room to see him perfectly content in false sleep - if the smirk had not given away his smugness at his own joke, that is.

She was limited in her own actions. Doing anything overt would wake up Miss Price, who would then probably think they were trying to do something to each other right under her nose (half right, but nothing naughty).

After a moment, she lay back down against him and raised her hand up to his nose, tapped it, and whispered, "Bother." Then settled down as he laced his arms around her.

He kissed her hair and breathed, "Bother."

She giggled and turned in his arms, whispering in his ear, "Sevvie-kins, I have the most deliciously naughty idea ... "

----------

Rowena Price was deep in her dreams when a female voice cried out, "YES! YES! YES!"

Miss Price immediately sprang fully awake and leapt to her feet - or tried to.

She looked down and examined her knitting, which now enveloped her like a cocoon, then over at the two laughing teenagers, rolling on the floor and clutching their sides.

"YES! YES! YES!" Martis howled, laughing and holding her sides. "Oh, Great Mother, this is beautiful!"

Severus looked up at Miss Price, trying in vain to keep a straight face. "Why, Mistress Price! Is aught amiss?" He held it for two seconds before joining his partner-in-crime in howls of laughter.

"Well, I do believe I've been pranked this time," the Slytherin House Mother admitted. "While I'm asleep and there's no one else around, you two chose to prank me instead."

"Too good to pass up," Martis confirmed.

A puzzled look crossed Sev's face. "Was there something else that could have been done?"

"We could have snuck out and pranked Penderdandis," Martis answered.

"Oh. Or raided the kitchens."

"Right." Martis got up and slipped into her couch. "So, anyway, it's past two in the morning, and I need to sleep. Thank you for being a good sport, Miss Price." She flicked her wand and the knitting shrunk back down to the scarf the House Mother had been working on.

Sev settled into his own couch. "Night, Miss Price. Night, Spirals."

"Night, Snips."

Miss Price smirked, knitting a few more rows until she felt they were finally asleep. Getting up (and managing not to groan from her arthritis), she softly made her way down the hall of the Slytherin domain and knocked on a door.

The door opened. "Did they really stay awake all this time?"

"No, but they finally settled down for the night. We have nothing to worry about from them."

Gallo Penderdandis smiled. "I thought not, but one never knows ... Care for a nightcap, Rowena my dear?"

"More than."

----------

The next morning, Christmas morning, the two Slytherin students ripped open their presents -

"Perfume!" Martis cried as she opened the violet glass bottle with etched spirals and sniffed. "Oh, Great Mother - my perfume. Snips - ?"

He grinned, blushing. "It took me three months to get the scent right. I remember you ran out last year, so ... I'm making sure you don't this year."

"This ... this ... this is wonderful." She hugged him tightly, kissing his cheek. "All I got you was a lousy book."

He held up one of his opened presents, a book entitled 'Larry Pothead and the Sorehead is Stoned' by Carmen A.G. Almloving. "I've been curious about this one since we saw it at the bookshop in Diagon Alley."

"It sounds fun," Martis admitted. "About a wizard boy sent to live in a Muggle hippie commune where he learns the ways of Muggles. If they're like any of the hippies that visited Crete when I was younger, this should be hilarious." She smiled cutely. "Come on, open your other ones!"

One package was a pair of uniform trousers (the card said 'Try not to outgrow them DURING the year, Snips!'). The other package contained a box holding several short leather cords in black, blue, brown, green, and silver. There was a large bead holding the loose ends together, forming a loop in each of the leather cords.

"They're mens' hair ties from Crete," Martis explained. "Just braid your hair and then slip it through the loop, pull the bead back, and it'll keep hold of your hair through anything. A lot of the bull leapers wear them to keep their hair out of their faces."

Sev gazed at them in his hands, then selected the blue one and held it up. "Could you?"

Martis grinned, then moved around and settled behind him, combing his long black hair with her hands and manipulating it into a braid from the top and sides. Forelocks escaped from her fingers, which fell back in his face. She accepted the offered blue leather cord with the silver bead and tightened it around the end of his braid.

"There you go," she said, reaching for the hand mirror Phaedra had given her for a present. "See?"

She leaned over his shoulder, her face appearing in the mirror next to his. She pulled the end of the braid around over his other shoulder. He broke into a smile and quietly commented, "I look almost human."

"Entirely human," she corrected him. She kissed his cheek, then looked at their reflection again. "Snips and Spirals forever."

He chuckled. "Causing gray hair in all adults."

She laughed, pulling away and picking up another package. "This one is for you from Phaedra."

Sev blinked. "Why would Phaedra give me anything?"

Martis shrugged while he opened it. A collection of small, square foil packets fell to his lap and he picked them up, looking at them curiously. "'Trojan-ENZ'. What's that, Spirals?"

"A sister," she growled. "Who is going to get her butt kicked."

"Wait, there's a note." Sev unfolded the parchment and read: 'Hey, Severus. If you two finally make up your minds, be smart about it and use these. - P.V.'

He turned them over in his hands. "Use them for what?"

Martis hesitated,then, fixing her face into as serious an expression as she could, told him, "They're high-capacity water balloons."

Severus looked them over again. "Really?" He seemed puzzled. "Then what would we need to make up our minds about?"

"I have no idea."

----------

The Christmas Feast was magnificent, completed by the twelve large opulently decorated trees of the Great Hall and all the fireplaces filled with roaring fires.

Students filed back to their rooms as the afternoon progressed, leaving a few in the Great Hall with the staff. The teachers were quickly getting tanked on eggnog, which had become a student body tradition to watch and laugh about.

Madame Hooch, one of the youngest teachers on staff, had attached a sprig of mistletoe to her hat and made the rounds of all the male teachers to see who followed tradition or not. Seemed Hagrid politely followed tradition, Sartoris scorned such tradition, and Penderdandis (on his fifth mug) embraced tradition to the point of dipping her down and examining her tonsils with his tongue.

(The shout of 'Go, Penderdandis!' seemed to originate at the Slytherin table, although the two Slytherins staying over break were not in evidence. No one saw the Bloody Baron enter or leave.)

Sev was picking at his food (rich food always made him sick unless he ate very little and ate it slowly), when Argus Filch settled next to him on the bench.

"So, young Snape," the Caretaker asked. "Where's your partner-in-crime?"

Sev pushed his plate away. "She had to check on her snake. Are we in trouble again?"

"No, no." Filch threw back a belt of eggnog from his mug. "I just wanted to congratulate you on such artistry."

"What artistry?" Sev inquired politely.

"The snowmen out front. I knew you had it in you, Snape. You'd make a fine disciplinarian with an imagination like that."

Sev clearly remembered Filch's definition of 'discipline' - it involved thumb-screws and manacles. He still had the scars on his wrists, if he were not mistaking them for scars made by his father. "Just something to do ... "

"It's a gorgeous piece of work, that's what it is, Snape. C'mon, join me for a drink."

Sev never had eggnog, but decided a little would not hurt.

----------

Martis was making her way up the stairs back to the Great Hall when she heard a boy's loud voice sing to the tune of 'Winter Wonderland':

"Lacy things - my girl is missin'
Didn't ask - her permission
I'm wearing her clothes,
Her silk pantyhose
Walking 'round in women's underwear

"In her closet - there's a teddy
With little straps - like spaghetti
It holds me so tight
Like handcuffs at night
Walking 'round in women's underwear

"In Slytherin there's a girl named Martis
She pretends that I'm nothin' but a clown
She'll say 'Are you ready?'
I'll say 'Hell yeah'
Let's wait until the Master's not around - "

By this time, she could clearly see Sev stumbling down the stairs toward her as he sang the parody completely off-key.

"Snips!"

He stopped singing and peered at her, his braid slipping over his shoulder. "Hey, Shpirals - hic - yew shoulda seen it! Filch shang it firsht then told me ta' make up shtuff, then Mrs. Norrish show d'up, turn human, an' haul him off, sayin' 'It finally makesh sense'." He giggled, falling against a wall. "I dinna know she was a' Ana ... Ana ... one 'a' dem t'ings."

"Snips, you're pasted."

"Em I? I thought I wuzh drunk. Filch izza nice ol' creep - we had eggnog, y'know. Saysh he LUUVS our shnowmen."

Martis ducked under his arm and helped lift him up on his feet. "How much did you have?"

"One ... mebbe less." He groped an arm around her shoulder, trying to hang on.

"Of course." She began to slowly descend the staircase back to Slytherin's common room. "You're as thin as a beanpole and you're hypersensitive to chemicals. Little wonder."

"Potions do dat." He laughed. "I wanna do'a prank in da' Great Hall!"

"Later maybe, Severus - HEY! Watch your hands!"

"I wuzh ... dat's how I knew where ta' put 'em." Smirk, smirk.

WHAP!!

"Shorry! hic!"

"Anyway, you're a lousy singer, Snips."

"Awwww ... You're mean, Sexy-Knickerzh ... Urk! I don' feel well ... "

Peeves was about to sneak up on the two students to perform some ill- mannered prank on them, then he saw what Sev was doing and fled in disgust.

----------

"This is UNACCEPTABLE for a member of staff, Mr. Filch!"

"Lay off, McGonagall, I was pished."

"Getting a student drunk is still not acceptable! Professor Penderdandis wants your head on a platter for this!"

"He's welcomed to it." He rubbed his almost-visibly-pulsing temples. "He can use it as a bilge pump - it's throbbing enough. Anyway, who knew one eggnog would get the boy plastered?"

"That one eggnog resulted in a clean-up of the Slytherin stairway, a burning of his clothes, one frightened girl, and caused the AHP System to be triggered." She turned to him, her dark eyes narrowed behind her glasses. "And word had reached me that he was screaming the lyrics to 'The Ballad of Eskimo Nell' late last night in the corridors - Peeves had such a scare that he's been hiding in Moaning Myrtle's toilet all morning."

"Blasted Thing needs a scare, don't he?"

"What about poor Myrtle?"

"What about that whining bint?" He waved his hand dismissively. "Won't happen again, ma'am. Count on it." He opened the door to the Great Hall and found a wall of lime Jello in front of them with a pair of house-elves pressed against where the door had been.

"What's going on?" Minerva McGonagall demanded.

"We tries to contain it, Professor Ma'am, we did," one of the house-elves whined. "But it grew too fast, it did."

"It did, Professor Ma'am," the other added. "Poor Sneezy, she's stuck up in the rafters."

Filch rolled his eyes and McGonagall rubbed her temples. "Now we know why he was out in the halls last night, Mr. Filch."

----------

Sev felt like something had died in his mouth, something had sat on his head, and something had run over him multiple times.

As he opened his eyes, icicles of light stabbed into them, making him yell in pain.

Or at least what he thought was a yell - it may have been a pitiful mew of pain.

"Are you alive, Severus?" Nurse Pomfrey's voice asked kindly.

He groaned, "Barely. What died in my mouth?"

"Your tongue. How do your burns feel?"

"Burns??"

"You had set off the AHP System last night while you were inebriated. Evidently, it was serious enough to set your hands on fire."

"What did I do?" Sev racked his brain (which hurt), trying to remember what he did the night before and whom it was with. He drew a complete blank, and this scared him.

"From what Miss Vox tells me - when we calmed her down enough to talk - you had tried to tear her clothes off."

"Oh my God ... " He covered his face with his bandaged hands and broke into tears. "Oh, my God. Is she all right? Did I hurt her? Oh, Gods, I could never forgive myself - "

Nurse Pomfrey sat on the bed next to him, pulling the thin boy into her arms and holding him. "Calm down, dear. She's doing well - in fact, she's been demanding to see you all morning to look after you herself."

"I would never - "

"We know you wouldn't, dear. Filch is getting punished for giving a student alcohol, no matter how well-meaning his offer was. The git has no idea that someone of your size, health, and density can't handle that sort of thing." She pulled back and brushed strands of hair out of his face, smiling. "I'm afraid I don't have anything to clear up a hangover, so you'll have to take good old fashioned aspirin, drink plenty of fluids, and get lots of rest to get over it."

(This was a lie - she had forty-seven hangover remedies on tap. But she knew that hangovers cured more people of experimenting with alcohol than anything else.)

Sev held his forehead in his wrapped hand, leaning forward. "Who pushed me?"

"The air did. And considering it was only one mug of eggnog that did this, I may suggest you never touch any alcohol at all for both safety's sake and your sanity."

"I never want to LOOK at it again."

"Good. I don't think you're in any condition to have visitors, but I leave it up to you to decide if you want to see Miss Vox or not."

"Is she mad?"

"Overly concerned for your well-being, but not mad. Do you want to see her?"

He nodded his head a half-inch, wishing he could go back in time and NOT take that mug of eggnog from Filch. Damn it. The only things to make it worse would be Martis hating his guts and his father finding out.

Martis appeared, gingerly approaching his bed. "Sev?"

"Martis, I'm so sorry - I didn't mean to - I had no idea what I was doing - "

She gathered him up in her arms as he sobbed. "Quiet now, Sev. I knew you were wasted. It just scared me is all ... " She lifted his face up with her hands, making him look back into her eyes. "You're meek and shy and a gentleman - that thing you became wasn't any of that and I hated it. I was more scared of that side of you than it actually doing anything to me."

"You know I wouldn't hurt you. I'd never hurt you - I'd never force you - "

"I know that, Severus. I forgive you." She released his face, licking her lip and her brows knotting together. "There must be something said about what's been going on this last week. We can't ignore it."

He felt the pounding in his head intensify. "About ... the Protection Spells going off ... ?"

She nodded, her eyes lowering. "We're at that age, right? I mean, being curious about the opposite gender. And since we're best friends who are ... it kinda happens, right?"

He nodded, feeling miserable both physically and emotionally.

She played with the end of her braid. "Last night ... sort of confirmed I'm not ready to find out."

"I scared you."

"That thing scared me - not you, Snips." Her eyes raised to his. "My Delicate Spiderweb would never scare me."

"And you trust that?"

"With my life and my virtue ... " A small smile appeared. "Whatever that is."

"Protected, I swear."

"Good." She brushed hair out of his face. "When you feel better, I'll braid your hair back. Now you need to rest."

He grasped her wrist. "Martis?"

"Hm?"

Sev inhaled, then said, "If I ever do anything like that again, knock me out and tie me up, all right?"

She grinned. "Gladly."

----------

The rest of the break went by quietly. The twisted snowmen sculptures remained undisturbed, as did the frozen remains of the two-headed Snow Goon by the lake.

In fact, the sight of decapitated, amputated, and generally destroyed snowmen greeted the students returning to Hogwarts by the end of the week.

"So ... " Lucius Malfoy commented as he entered the Slytherin common room. "We leave you two alone for two weeks and you both go out to make 'snowmen'."

He spat the last word out with such venom that Martis checked to see if any spittle got on her. He stalked by her to the boys' dorms.

"Nice to see you, too, Lucy." She turned to Narcissa Black whose cloak was being unclasped by one of her 'handmaidens'. "Did you manage to catch Father Christmas this year?"

"No," Narcissa snorted. "The wretched creature escaped again. My cousin Sirius seemed to have a problem with setting the traps this year, though."

Martis remained straight-faced. "The Gryffindors are brain-washing him."

"He always was the black sheep of the family." Narcissa flicked her blonde hair over her shoulder and smiled. "Well, how did you and Snape spend the holiday all alone here? Surely you must have done something else besides build funny snowmen."

Martis began ticking off on her fingers: "We snuck around the school and told McGonagall we were looking for the inflatable sheep, we put Miss Price in a cocoon, we accidentally created a two-headed monster but we froze it to death, we beat off a ferocious attack by ten thousand drug-maddened spearmen with nothing but a lawn chair and some old Fizzing Whizbees, Snips filled the Great Hall with lime Jello, and we set off the Protection Spells twice."

Narcissa giggled. "I believe every one of them except the last. You two setting off a Protection Spell would be noted by every living being in existence."

Martis' lip curled. "Why is that, Miss Black?"

"Because, Miss Vox, Severus is a jittery little virgin - that stupid 'Sexy- Knickers' note a couple of months back proved it."

"Funny. I thought you crawling all over him scared him celibate."

"Too much woman for him."

"Too much risk of infection for him."

Narcissa's perfect nostrils flared. "I will ignore that. We're having a Ladies of Slytherin meeting this evening after dinner in my room. You are still welcomed to join us, especially since we are planning for the Valentine's Dance."

"Oh, joy." Martis gagged. "Can't wait."

----------

Outside, the Marauders looked around at all the snowmen on the lawn.

"Damn," James Potter muttered. "Wish I had thought of it first."

"Who did all this?" Peter Pettigrew asked.

"Vox and Snape did," another boy's voice answered.

Sirius Black waved. "Hey, Watterson. You telling us Snots and Spitballs did this piece of work?"

"They sure did. I've been sketching them out all week." He grinned. "I suppose this means you four will get all snotty and try to out-do this?"

"Of course," Black confirmed.

"Looking forward to it, then. See you at dinner."

Remus Lupin glanced down at the ground, standing at the 'feet' of the snow- angel and snow-demon. Peering closely, he noted Martis had made the snow- angel due to the impression made by her extra-long braid in the snow. He caught himself looking for the impressions of her backside and glanced up. "How can we out-do this?"

James Potter thought about a minute, then began laughing. "Oh, yeah ... that'll work!" He looked toward the horizon, just north of the Quidditch pitch. "Guys, I have an IDEA."

----------

Dawn the next school morning echoed with the screams of those whose rooms faced the north.

On the horizon, staring back at Hogwarts, was a giant head peering over the ridge. A pair of hands on either side of the head appeared to one side of the Quidditch pitch and on the other side of the Forbidden Forest.

Martis and Sev gazed at it from one of the empty classrooms on the third floor.

"And they actually did it," Sev said softly.

Martis' jaw was slack. "Bloody brilliant."

"I would never have thought of that."

"Snips, they out-did us."

He turned to look at her. "Spirals, we will never discuss this. As far as I'm concerned, this is in the same category as your Monthly Problems."

She gasped, then grinned, and squeezed him around the waist. She picked up her bookbag and clutched his wrist. "Come on, classes are starting."

-End-