Chapter Eight- Change
Change is never easy.
You fight to hold on.
You fight to let go.
"The Wonder Years"
"Hey Scott wait up!" Peter shouted as he ran towards Scott. Scott stopped just feet in front of the dining hall and turned to face Peter.
"What's up?" He Scott asked in a hurry.
"Can I have a word with you?" Peter panted, stopping just a few feet in front of Scott to catch his breath.
"Now?" Scott asked annoyed, he was hungry and his stomach was growling. "I'm supposed to be meeting Shelby and the rest of the Cliffhangers in like five minutes."
"It's important Scott, please come with me."
"Whatever," Scott said walking away towards Peter's office. Peter followed just a few short steps behind. "So, what's so important that you couldn't wait to tell me?" Scott asked annoyed. "This isn't about the wedding is it?" he asked the thought finally coming to his mind. "I already went and got fitted for my tux and I know I have to write a speech, I'm working on it and I promise..."
Peter cut him off.
"No Scott, it's not about that."
"Then what?"
"It's... Scott I dunno how to tell you this, I guess you should just read," Peter handed him the letter and Scott sat down slowly as he read. Peter watched as a swirl of emotions displayed themselves on Scott's face. After a moment, Scott put down the letter. When he finally looked back up at Peter, he sighed.
"I know," Scott replied flatly.
"Know what?" Peter asked confused.
"The letter, the money, the not wanting me back, I know it all. I'm the one who walked out, this is just his lame attempt to make himself seem like the strong one," Scott made a face. "Whatever," he said more then his own benefit then anyone else's.
"And you're ok with this?"
"Peter it was my choice."
"Your choice?" "Well... yeah. When I left him last week I decided I wasn't coming back. I took anything that meant something to me and when I left I told him that it was the end. I knew I had the money, it's a trust fund he can't touch, and I knew I'd be fine, maybe even better off. My father will never understand me and I don't really know if I want him to."
Peter sat back a moment to register his shock.
"Well Scott," he began quietly. "It seems like you've really thought this through."
"I have... I guess, in a way, I've been thinking it through since I first came here. Just not on this same level. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't actually think he'd do something like this, just not his style yanno? Too low class. Oh well I don't want to let this bother me."
"But it does?"
"Not really."
"Scott you don't need to lie to me."
"I'm not lying, really, I'm fine. If a separation is what he wants a separation is what he gets. This way I don't need to work as hard to get closer to Shelby once we graduate from here."
"You mean you're going to move in with Shelby?"
"No, but close. Look Peter aren't there more happier things we can talk about?" Scott asked standing up.
"Yeah," Peter nodded. "Yeah, Juliette is getting out today, I'm on my way to pick her up."
"Is Auggie going with you?"
"Unfortunately no, the doctors said it's best that I be the only one. She's still got a long way 'til she's officially better, this is just the first step."
"He's good for her yanno?"
"Who?"
"Auggie," Scott turned away. "I used to not think so but now... Juliette and I never worked out because they were always meant to be together. If anyone can help her to realize that there is a point in living, in getting better, it's him."
"I'll keep that in mind."
Scott turned towards Peter.
"Is Juliette going to graduate?" Scott asked sincerely.
"I don't know," Peter answered bluntly but truthfully. He honestly didn't know where Juliette stood at this point in time.
"It would be nice," Scott said softly. "All of us leaving together that is."
"I know," Peter replied nodding. "I know."
I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, Writing bad blank verse and searching Endlessly for someone wonderful Who would step out of the darkness And change my life forever. It never crossed my mind That, that person could be me. Anna Quindlen
Juliette sat on the hospital bed, fully dressed, facing the window, awaiting her night in shining armor. Peter was scheduled to arrive in less then five minutes and she couldn't wait. As hard as returning to her normal vigorous schedule at Horizon was going to be she was looking forward to the challenge, even the therapy, as long as it meant getting out of the domineering hospital room.
Juliette looked down at her wrists and sighed, they were bandaged, as were most of her arms. How was she going to explain this one to Auggie.
She was surprised at what Shelby had understood, how Shelby could speak exactly what Juliette had been feeling inside. Shelby had promised she wouldn't tell anyone, not even Scott about what they talked about, not before talking to Juliette first, Juliette just hoped that Shelby had kept her promise.
"Jules?" Peter said quietly peeking his head in the doorway. Juliette turned towards him and smiled.
"Hey, She said softly.
"You ready to get going?" He asked entering the room. Juliette smiled.
"You bet," she said getting up and grabbing her overnight bag from the chair.
"Jules?"
"Yeah?"
"You ok?"
"Yeah," She said reluctantly smiling at him, but he saw right through it.
"Juliette..." Peter said stepping towards her. She turned away. Peter sat down on the bed. "Come here," He said patting the seat next to him. For a moment Juliette hesitated but she couldn't resist the look on his face, the vulnerability he was showing her, and the fact that she knew all he wanted to do was help her. She sat down next to him, and focused her eyes on the floor. "Tell me about it."
"I'm scared," Juliette replied looking up. "I'm scared of going back Peter. I'm afraid I'll do it again."
"Juliette, I'm not going to let that happen."
"I know you say that Peter and I know you mean it but I don't know how to control it. My feelings haven't changed. I still feel the same way I did when I got here. Empty, incomplete, and scared."
"The therapy sessions here didn't help?"
"They're doctors Peter, they're not like the people at Horizon, they don't understand, THEY haven't been through it."
"Did you talk to Shelby?"
Juliette looked straight at Peter wide eyed and shocked.
"What do you know about Shelby?" she asked, afraid that Shelby ratted her out in some way.
"I know that you and Shelby have a lot more then a soft spot for Scott in common. And I know that she can help you. She didn't come to me Jules, I went to her, she says she wants to talk."
"She's good yanno? She really knows her stuff. I didn't say much, she really said it all. She understands. She's scared too," Juliette added looking away.
"I know," Peter said agreeing quietly. "And I think the two of you should do something about that. I suggested therapy... together. Not with a therapist but you, and her, and possibly Scott and Auggie. Just so you all can get things out in the open."
"I don't want to tell him Peter. It'll hurt him too bad. Auggie doesn't understand these things. Auggie's different from all of us. Peter I can't tell him right now. And Shelby... I mean it was so long ago. I don't think she wants to tell Scott either. Maybe that isn't such a good idea, and then..."
Peter cut Juliette's babbling off.
"We'll work it out when we get back ok?"
Juliette nodded.
"I'll make things bearable, ok?"
Juliette nodded again. Peter stood and grabbed her bag.
"You ready to go?"
Juliette smiled.
"Yeah, I think so."
Even if me and you never talk again After this night I want you to know that I am forever changed by who you are And what you mean to me. "Chasing Amy"
Scott stopped in front of Shelby's door and took a moment to himself before knocking. He hadn't let Peter know just how bad the letter his father had sent was affecting him. He didn't want anyone to know that his father had, in a way, won. But he was gonna tell Shelby, regardless of whether he was willing to admit it, Shelby would understand.
He lifted his hand to the door and knocked once sharply and then once again, before turning the knob. He wanted to warn her he was there but he didn't have to wait for her to answer. She was expecting him.
Scott walked into the room to find Shelby sprawled out on her bed, sleeping. He smiled at her perfect form. She was beautiful, his angel. The only positive thing that had come out of his father's not wanting him to come back was not that he really was free to move wherever he wanted and he could be with Shelby for the rest of his life. He never thought about any girl like that before, a lifetime together, until he met her and now... well he couldn't imagine ever wanting anything else.
He walked slowly into the room, after realizing that he was in fact just standing there staring, and moved towards her bed.
"Shelby..." Scott whispered sitting next to her. "Shel, wake up."
Shelby let out a slight groan and rolled over to face him.
"Shelby..." he said again, then bent over and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Her eyelids fluttered open with the kiss and she smiled when she saw him.
"Hi," Shelby said sweetly.
"Hey," Scott replied as he brushed a piece of her hair away from her face.
"I fell asleep waiting," Shelby said apologetically as she sat up. "Where were you at lunch?"
Scott sighed.
"That's what I wanted to talk about. Sorry for ditching you but Peter stopped me..."
"Is something wrong?" Shelby asked interrupting Scott mid-sentence. "It's not about the wedding is it? Sophie hasn't said anything to me. Oh my god, is it about me? She doesn't want me to be her maid of honor anymore does she?"
Scott stopped her.
"No Shel, it isn't about the wedding," Oh how he wished it was. "This came to Peter's office today," Scott reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter. He handed it to Shelby and bowed his head as she read it. When he did finally look up he saw a single tear drip down her face.
"How could someone be so mean?" she asked looking up at him. "How could he say these things about his own son."
"It's ok Shel."
"NO Scott. No it's not."
"It's just making things easier for me now."
"Easier how, sure you have money, sure you can find a place to live but this is your FATHER."
"Shelby, it's alright!"
"Well excuse me for caring Scott but I don't have a father, remember? I don't have this pleasure to have a father blow me off like this. This is nuts Scott parents shouldn't treat their kids this way. Especially their ONLY kid."
"Shelby calm down. This is what's best."
"What's best? Scott are you delusional?"
"Why can't you see this from my point of view?"
"Ok Scott, then explain to me why this is a good thing."
"My father doesn't care for me, I don't care for him. It's that simple. I don't need him in my life if all he's going to say and do is going to be negative. I need positive. That's what we spent 3 years in here for right? To learn about what's positive in life. Shelby, he's not positive. Nothing about him and his lifestyle is helping me, especially now that Elaine is back in the picture."
"She's back?"
Scott looked away.
"Yes."
"Was she there when you went home?"
Scott nodded.
"Oh..."
"Look Shel, I don't wanna fight. I don't need to be fighting with you too."
"I know..." Shelby said nodding. "I'm sorry I just... Scott I'm scared."
Scott wrapped his arms around her.
"I know Shel, I'm sacred too."
Change is never easy.
You fight to hold on.
You fight to let go.
"The Wonder Years"
"Hey Scott wait up!" Peter shouted as he ran towards Scott. Scott stopped just feet in front of the dining hall and turned to face Peter.
"What's up?" He Scott asked in a hurry.
"Can I have a word with you?" Peter panted, stopping just a few feet in front of Scott to catch his breath.
"Now?" Scott asked annoyed, he was hungry and his stomach was growling. "I'm supposed to be meeting Shelby and the rest of the Cliffhangers in like five minutes."
"It's important Scott, please come with me."
"Whatever," Scott said walking away towards Peter's office. Peter followed just a few short steps behind. "So, what's so important that you couldn't wait to tell me?" Scott asked annoyed. "This isn't about the wedding is it?" he asked the thought finally coming to his mind. "I already went and got fitted for my tux and I know I have to write a speech, I'm working on it and I promise..."
Peter cut him off.
"No Scott, it's not about that."
"Then what?"
"It's... Scott I dunno how to tell you this, I guess you should just read," Peter handed him the letter and Scott sat down slowly as he read. Peter watched as a swirl of emotions displayed themselves on Scott's face. After a moment, Scott put down the letter. When he finally looked back up at Peter, he sighed.
"I know," Scott replied flatly.
"Know what?" Peter asked confused.
"The letter, the money, the not wanting me back, I know it all. I'm the one who walked out, this is just his lame attempt to make himself seem like the strong one," Scott made a face. "Whatever," he said more then his own benefit then anyone else's.
"And you're ok with this?"
"Peter it was my choice."
"Your choice?" "Well... yeah. When I left him last week I decided I wasn't coming back. I took anything that meant something to me and when I left I told him that it was the end. I knew I had the money, it's a trust fund he can't touch, and I knew I'd be fine, maybe even better off. My father will never understand me and I don't really know if I want him to."
Peter sat back a moment to register his shock.
"Well Scott," he began quietly. "It seems like you've really thought this through."
"I have... I guess, in a way, I've been thinking it through since I first came here. Just not on this same level. Although to tell you the truth, I didn't actually think he'd do something like this, just not his style yanno? Too low class. Oh well I don't want to let this bother me."
"But it does?"
"Not really."
"Scott you don't need to lie to me."
"I'm not lying, really, I'm fine. If a separation is what he wants a separation is what he gets. This way I don't need to work as hard to get closer to Shelby once we graduate from here."
"You mean you're going to move in with Shelby?"
"No, but close. Look Peter aren't there more happier things we can talk about?" Scott asked standing up.
"Yeah," Peter nodded. "Yeah, Juliette is getting out today, I'm on my way to pick her up."
"Is Auggie going with you?"
"Unfortunately no, the doctors said it's best that I be the only one. She's still got a long way 'til she's officially better, this is just the first step."
"He's good for her yanno?"
"Who?"
"Auggie," Scott turned away. "I used to not think so but now... Juliette and I never worked out because they were always meant to be together. If anyone can help her to realize that there is a point in living, in getting better, it's him."
"I'll keep that in mind."
Scott turned towards Peter.
"Is Juliette going to graduate?" Scott asked sincerely.
"I don't know," Peter answered bluntly but truthfully. He honestly didn't know where Juliette stood at this point in time.
"It would be nice," Scott said softly. "All of us leaving together that is."
"I know," Peter replied nodding. "I know."
I read and walked for miles at night along the beach, Writing bad blank verse and searching Endlessly for someone wonderful Who would step out of the darkness And change my life forever. It never crossed my mind That, that person could be me. Anna Quindlen
Juliette sat on the hospital bed, fully dressed, facing the window, awaiting her night in shining armor. Peter was scheduled to arrive in less then five minutes and she couldn't wait. As hard as returning to her normal vigorous schedule at Horizon was going to be she was looking forward to the challenge, even the therapy, as long as it meant getting out of the domineering hospital room.
Juliette looked down at her wrists and sighed, they were bandaged, as were most of her arms. How was she going to explain this one to Auggie.
She was surprised at what Shelby had understood, how Shelby could speak exactly what Juliette had been feeling inside. Shelby had promised she wouldn't tell anyone, not even Scott about what they talked about, not before talking to Juliette first, Juliette just hoped that Shelby had kept her promise.
"Jules?" Peter said quietly peeking his head in the doorway. Juliette turned towards him and smiled.
"Hey, She said softly.
"You ready to get going?" He asked entering the room. Juliette smiled.
"You bet," she said getting up and grabbing her overnight bag from the chair.
"Jules?"
"Yeah?"
"You ok?"
"Yeah," She said reluctantly smiling at him, but he saw right through it.
"Juliette..." Peter said stepping towards her. She turned away. Peter sat down on the bed. "Come here," He said patting the seat next to him. For a moment Juliette hesitated but she couldn't resist the look on his face, the vulnerability he was showing her, and the fact that she knew all he wanted to do was help her. She sat down next to him, and focused her eyes on the floor. "Tell me about it."
"I'm scared," Juliette replied looking up. "I'm scared of going back Peter. I'm afraid I'll do it again."
"Juliette, I'm not going to let that happen."
"I know you say that Peter and I know you mean it but I don't know how to control it. My feelings haven't changed. I still feel the same way I did when I got here. Empty, incomplete, and scared."
"The therapy sessions here didn't help?"
"They're doctors Peter, they're not like the people at Horizon, they don't understand, THEY haven't been through it."
"Did you talk to Shelby?"
Juliette looked straight at Peter wide eyed and shocked.
"What do you know about Shelby?" she asked, afraid that Shelby ratted her out in some way.
"I know that you and Shelby have a lot more then a soft spot for Scott in common. And I know that she can help you. She didn't come to me Jules, I went to her, she says she wants to talk."
"She's good yanno? She really knows her stuff. I didn't say much, she really said it all. She understands. She's scared too," Juliette added looking away.
"I know," Peter said agreeing quietly. "And I think the two of you should do something about that. I suggested therapy... together. Not with a therapist but you, and her, and possibly Scott and Auggie. Just so you all can get things out in the open."
"I don't want to tell him Peter. It'll hurt him too bad. Auggie doesn't understand these things. Auggie's different from all of us. Peter I can't tell him right now. And Shelby... I mean it was so long ago. I don't think she wants to tell Scott either. Maybe that isn't such a good idea, and then..."
Peter cut Juliette's babbling off.
"We'll work it out when we get back ok?"
Juliette nodded.
"I'll make things bearable, ok?"
Juliette nodded again. Peter stood and grabbed her bag.
"You ready to go?"
Juliette smiled.
"Yeah, I think so."
Even if me and you never talk again After this night I want you to know that I am forever changed by who you are And what you mean to me. "Chasing Amy"
Scott stopped in front of Shelby's door and took a moment to himself before knocking. He hadn't let Peter know just how bad the letter his father had sent was affecting him. He didn't want anyone to know that his father had, in a way, won. But he was gonna tell Shelby, regardless of whether he was willing to admit it, Shelby would understand.
He lifted his hand to the door and knocked once sharply and then once again, before turning the knob. He wanted to warn her he was there but he didn't have to wait for her to answer. She was expecting him.
Scott walked into the room to find Shelby sprawled out on her bed, sleeping. He smiled at her perfect form. She was beautiful, his angel. The only positive thing that had come out of his father's not wanting him to come back was not that he really was free to move wherever he wanted and he could be with Shelby for the rest of his life. He never thought about any girl like that before, a lifetime together, until he met her and now... well he couldn't imagine ever wanting anything else.
He walked slowly into the room, after realizing that he was in fact just standing there staring, and moved towards her bed.
"Shelby..." Scott whispered sitting next to her. "Shel, wake up."
Shelby let out a slight groan and rolled over to face him.
"Shelby..." he said again, then bent over and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Her eyelids fluttered open with the kiss and she smiled when she saw him.
"Hi," Shelby said sweetly.
"Hey," Scott replied as he brushed a piece of her hair away from her face.
"I fell asleep waiting," Shelby said apologetically as she sat up. "Where were you at lunch?"
Scott sighed.
"That's what I wanted to talk about. Sorry for ditching you but Peter stopped me..."
"Is something wrong?" Shelby asked interrupting Scott mid-sentence. "It's not about the wedding is it? Sophie hasn't said anything to me. Oh my god, is it about me? She doesn't want me to be her maid of honor anymore does she?"
Scott stopped her.
"No Shel, it isn't about the wedding," Oh how he wished it was. "This came to Peter's office today," Scott reached into his pocket and pulled out the letter. He handed it to Shelby and bowed his head as she read it. When he did finally look up he saw a single tear drip down her face.
"How could someone be so mean?" she asked looking up at him. "How could he say these things about his own son."
"It's ok Shel."
"NO Scott. No it's not."
"It's just making things easier for me now."
"Easier how, sure you have money, sure you can find a place to live but this is your FATHER."
"Shelby, it's alright!"
"Well excuse me for caring Scott but I don't have a father, remember? I don't have this pleasure to have a father blow me off like this. This is nuts Scott parents shouldn't treat their kids this way. Especially their ONLY kid."
"Shelby calm down. This is what's best."
"What's best? Scott are you delusional?"
"Why can't you see this from my point of view?"
"Ok Scott, then explain to me why this is a good thing."
"My father doesn't care for me, I don't care for him. It's that simple. I don't need him in my life if all he's going to say and do is going to be negative. I need positive. That's what we spent 3 years in here for right? To learn about what's positive in life. Shelby, he's not positive. Nothing about him and his lifestyle is helping me, especially now that Elaine is back in the picture."
"She's back?"
Scott looked away.
"Yes."
"Was she there when you went home?"
Scott nodded.
"Oh..."
"Look Shel, I don't wanna fight. I don't need to be fighting with you too."
"I know..." Shelby said nodding. "I'm sorry I just... Scott I'm scared."
Scott wrapped his arms around her.
"I know Shel, I'm sacred too."