AN: I do not own Hellsing nor any of the characters therein. Some of my ideas imply light OOC. What happens when Seras Victoria gets bored? She doesn't know what to do, so she goes around asking others what they do when they get bored…my attempt at humour in an otherwise very dark story. Enjoy.

*****

Seras Victoria groaned.

It was a few evenings after the sorting-papers incident. Clearly she wasn't up for office work, because Sir Integra often had to fix her piles.

"No, not there! Over here…"

"Yes, Sir."

"NO!!! I said OVER HERE!!!"

Unfortunately, she was again, bored. Not wanting to repeat her previous mistake, she decided to chose a safer route: someone more like her. Alucard.

*****

He was using several pictures as target practise on the long-distance shooting range.

Alexander Anderson. Bang! Gone.

Enrico Maxwell. Bang! Gone.

Integra Hellsing.

"Master! Why are you shooting at Sir Integra?!"

No bang.

"Police Girl? What are you doing out here?" he asked. "Came to practise? 'Cause you really need to…"

She shook her head. "No, Master, I came to find you."

"You've found me. Now if you'll excuse me…" he turned again to fire at the picture.

"NO! I mean, I wanted to talk to you!"

"Oh." he turned and looked at her. "What about?"

"Master, what do you do when you get bored?"
"What?"
"When you're bored. What do you do?"

Alucard thought a bit. Visions of bloody shoot-outs and fights filled his head and he grinned evilly. Not knowing what he was thinking about, Seras grinned too, trying to encourage him to speak.

"I would be off fighting as many battles as I could fight." he crowed. "If given the occasion, I would definitely find a way to end that boredom fast."

He looked at Seras. She was making a face. "Why?"

"Because, Master, I'm (she obviously hadn't learned yet) bored."

Alucard's grin widened to one which you might see on an addict just been given a new dosage.

"Then you can help me with target practise!"

Seras grinned warily. "Uh, all right…"

He trained his gun on her. "Moving targets are always more authentic."

"WHAT???? NOOOOO, MASTER, NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

*****

Next chapter: Walter!