AN: Thanks for checking this out! I believe Snape is probably one of the most complicated characters in the Potterverse. I attempted to explore his character a bit in this piece. Enjoy and please review!
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter
Take With You The Light
Severus Snape did not let his face show any sign of the fear that was growing inside of him as Dumbledore explained to him his assignment. He kept his usual sneer firmly in place while the older man continued to mutter in a low whisper.
"Find out what his plans are. We know he will go after the Dementors. He hasn't called a meeting recently. Perhaps he is not using his Death Eaters at all. You must find out," Dumbledore finished solemnly. He looked up at Severus with apologetic eyes as if to say sorry for sending him to that place.
He should be sorry.
Without a word to the headmaster, Snape left Grimmauld Place. He walked for what seemed like hours and when he certain that he was in a secluded place he let out a fierce cry. He hated himself for the fear that was settling in the pit of his stomach.
Azkaban.
He would go there in an hour and relive every single bad memory, every single wrongdoing, every evil deed, every personal experience that had made him wish for death. Dumbledore didn't want to send him there. He knew it could unhinge a man with so much…darkness…in his past, but he was the only one. He needed to speak with Lucius Malfoy and find out what was going on.
Snape knew his duty. He knew that he still owed his service to Dumbledore and he would do as asked for the rest of his life. That did not change the fact that the very last place he wanted to go was Azkaban. Going to the prison was not something one would forget in a day. No. The memories would seep into his dreams, interrupt his thoughts at the most inopportune time, and make his life hell until he could learn to close them out again. It would take time.
But time he had.
Snape withdrew his wand and Apparated.
One could not simply Apparate to Azkaban. First, Snape had to go the small island that stood only a few hundred miles away from Azkaban. There he would check in his wand and state his purpose and then he would be allowed to Apparate to the island with one of the prison's guards.
Snape went through the procedure and began to feel numb. The anxiousness was overwhelming him now. His palms felt clammy and his breath quickened.
"Have you checked in your wand?" the man at the counter asked lazily.
Snape nodded.
"Well then, Thomas will be your escort," he muttered pointing to a man who looked to be in his thirties. He waved and smiled.
Snape said nothing. He Apparated to the island and heard the guard appear beside him.
Snape swallowed hard. He had sworn to himself that he would never come back. He had spent one miserable, lonely night here when Mad-Eye Moody had rounded up a bunch of Death Eaters and thrown them all in Azkaban that very night. He had not believed Snape's story…that he was spying for their side. Dumbledore had come to collect him as soon as he had heard, but it had been too late. The damage had been done.
Snape could not help but stare at the fortress of Azkaban. It was about twice as big as Hogwarts with huge towers and gaping turrets. However, the similarities ended there. The color of the prison was the darkest black Snape had ever seen and it held none of Hogwarts' shine or ancient beauty.
Even though it was summer, Snape felt inexplicably cold. He shivered and followed his escort to the rusty gates that led into Hell.
He watched as Thomas did a complicated motion with his wand and muttered something. The gate began to creak open. Snape eyed a large stone that was placed near the gate and ran a finger over the words etched into it.
Memorize the sky
Take with you the light
To those you knew, say goodbye
Justice will be served tonight
"Before the Dementors were here, they used to kill the criminals and throw the bodies in the castle," Thomas said as he watched Snape reading the stone.
Snape said nothing. He followed Thomas through the gates and up to the prison. He shivered again. With every step he took, Snape felt as if his insides were growing colder.
They entered the castle.
Snape hesitated for a split second before following his escort deeper into the prison. They traveled past deserted cells to a set of spiraling stone steps that seemed to go on forever. He trudged up the steps trying to think of anything but the task at hand, trying to find something to keep his mind off of what he was about to do, what he would have to face.
He could not be distracted.
After what seemed like hours, they reached the top of the flight of stairs. Snape's insides turned to ice. Two of those horrible creatures were posted outside the door to a long corridor.
"You stupid filthy whore," his father yelled. "Crucio!"
His mother fell. Her screams filled the room.
Snape wept silently in the corner.
"Sir?" Snape snapped out of his daze. He had been falling into the Dementor's web of despair. Thomas handed him a small piece of chocolate. "I know some people are horribly affected by them." He flashed Snape a sympathetic smile.
Snape merely nodded his thanks.
His escort led them down a corridor lined with prison cells. The prisoners stared out at them. Some cried out. Others seemed not to care. They stared blankly ahead. Snape ignored it all. There were more Dementors up ahead. More Dementors…more memories.
Snape smirked to himself and entered the tunnel. He quickened his pace, becoming more anxious. Suddenly there was a horrible strangled yell. Snape stopped dead in his tracks. He turned around as he heard footsteps approaching.
It was Potter.
A loud roar came from further down in the tunnel. But Snape was no longer afraid. He wanted to find out their secret. He would find out their secret. He sneered at Potter and then began running down the tunnel once more. Potter followed.
"Snape! Wait!" He shouted. "It's not safe! It's not safe!"
Snape didn't believe him. He was past reason. He was blinded by his hatred. He would get them in trouble, get them expelled even.
But Potter had caught up to him. He felt Potter's hands on his robes, pulling him back. His eyes were wide and fearful.
Snape heard a low growl and turned towards the noise. He froze. A wolf was creeping towards them, its yellow teeth bared. It was a werewolf.
It jumped.
Snape couldn't move. His feet remained frozen in place. Someone pushed him aside. His head hit something hard and everything went black.
CLANG! Thomas was opening another gate which led to another staircase. Snape wiped his sweaty palms on his cloak. He wished he could run from this place and never look back.
They walked up another flight of stairs and then through another door. Lucius was in his cell. His cell was surrounded by Dementors.
"Severus…I must ask you not to say a word about Mr. Lupin's condition," Dumbledore said softly.
Snape's lip curled in disgust. His near murder would be excused. The werewolf would still be here and Black, as well.
Snape looked around. The Dementors were gone.
"It's all clear for you now," Thomas said. "I'll be back in twenty minutes."
Snape gave a curt nod. When Thomas had left, Snape turned towards the cell. "Lucius."
"Severus…has the Dark Lord informed you of his plan?" Lucius asked, sounding bored.
Severus shook his head. "When will it be?"
"In two days," Lucius muttered. "In two days, I will be free of this place and the Dementors will join the Dark Lord once more."
"By force?" Snape asked him.
"He will capture the guards, take them and offer them to the Dementors. He will show them what they can have if they join our side," Malfoy said.
Snape nodded. "They will accept."
"Yes. I expect He will be talking with you tomorrow about all this. I believe we will also be inducting new members the next evening."
"Who?" Snape questioned.
"My son," Lucius replied at once.
Snape hid his disappointment well. He had hoped that the Malfoy boy would resist his chosen path. Instead he would be another tool of evil .Or perhaps he would regret his choice later on and live a life full of guilt.
There were worse things.
Thomas came in at that moment, signaling that their time was up. Snape followed him quickly past the first set of Dementors.
"Are you sure this is what you want?" A cold voice hissed.
Snape nodded. "Yes Master."
"Then you shall have your wish, but first Crucio!" Snape felt as if his entire body was on fire. He was shaking violently. He was beginning to forget who he was. Someone was screaming. It was a minute before he realized it was him.
And then the curse was lifted.
"Stand up!" The Dark Lord shouted. "Now!"
Snape stood on his shaky legs, his breath coming out in uneven gasps.
Snape shook his head and followed the escort down the flight of stairs and past the second wave of Dementors.
"Avada Kedavra!" Snape yelled and felt the magic come from deep inside him and travel through his body and out of his wand.
The Mudblood fell over, her pale eyes wide open.
Snape ran. He said no farewell to Thomas, did not thank him. All he could do was run. He ran until he was at the edge of the island, until his legs could carry him no further.
He sank to his knees and cried.