Chapter 17: The Decision
'I like him, I like him not, I like him, I like him not'
'Of course I like him! I wouldn't be his friend if I didn't!'
'But do you like him more than a friend?'
'Damnit I don't know!'
Hermione was sitting in the Room of Requirement at one of the window seats that had appeared when she first walked in over an hour ago.
It was a few days after her evening with Harry and she'd successfully avoided Draco, because she couldn't bring herself to face him, after standing him up.
But at the moment Draco was furthest from her mind, right now she was trying to figure out the fluttery feeling she got in her gut when she saw Harry run his fingers through his hair, smile, wipe his glasses, or his sparkling green eyes. It was worse when he said her name softly, brushed her arm lightly, gave her a one armed hug.
'I need someone to tell me what to do!'
"I hate him for doing this to me!" she cried out loud, jumping up from the window seat, and she paced across the room.
Hermione felt out of control with her emotions, it wasn't a feeling she was used to, she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. But she couldn't deny the fact that her best friend for almost half her life had a hold on her feelings and actions.
She then began to mutter out loud, "I wish he couldn't do that to me! But why do I love it when he does! For almost half my life there hasn't been a moment when he wasn't there, either physically or mentally in the back of my head!"
She was so caught up in her pacing and her mutterings, and since her head was down to the ground watching her feet darting around she didn't look up or notice when someone came in the room.
The person didn't say anything they just observed her from a distance, not wanting to defer her from her musings.
With a frustrated groan she went back to the windows that showed what would be the outside of Hogwarts had the room been with windows.
She leaned her head against the glass.
"All right," she whispered, "I do love him, it's too hard to fight it anymore, I really do..."
She then heard a soft click noise of a door shutting or was it opening?
Whirling around, she was greeted with the sight of no one standing there.
'I hope no one heard that'
'Oh well they wouldn't know who you were talking about'
With that thought, she went back to her declaration of love a few moments, ago.
She felt like yelling it from the rooftops, like telling everyone she knew, but at the same time she wanted to keep it a secret to herself, like a gift that she could take out and admire whenever she was alone. She was in love with Harry, her best friend, the Harry Potter! It was almost too unbelievable for her to wrap her mind around.
Hermione walked over to the table that had just appeared with a simple daisy on it.
Slowly she began pulling the petals off one by one.
When the floor by her feet was littered with white petals, she tugged at the last few.
"I tell him, I love him"
"I tell him not"
The last petal.
"I tell him, I love him."
././././.
Harry was breathing heavily, he'd just run from the Room of Requirement to the Gryffindor Tower.
'She loves him! Oh God this is horrible!' Harry thought in a panic as he lay down on his bed. 'Of all the people she loves him?!'
It didn't even occur to Harry that Hermione could have been talking about him, a large part him hoped she was, but instead the first thing that popped into his head as he heard her whispering her confession was, 'She loves Draco Malfoy?!'
It was pretty stupid of Harry not to realize that Hermione was most defiantly talking about him, but because she'd been talking enthusiastically about working with Draco on their project, Harry gave that more merit then it was worth. He didn't know that Hermione was talking about how great things were with Draco to try to relive her conscious from standing him up the previous evening.
In the back of Harry's mind it could be there that she was talking about himself, but Harry had the tendency not to be self centered and to almost beat himself down at times.
Harry couldn't sit still, he got up and started to pace, but soon it seemed that the room couldn't contain him and he started to walk through the corridors then eventually he was outside.
'If you don't say anything to her, you'll regret it forever'
'You're probably going to die when Voldemort gets a hold of you, she'll never know how much you cared for her how much you loved her'
'What have you got to lose?'
All these questions and more kept going through a cycle in Harry's mind, over and over.
He knew how he felt, he knew it a long time ago, the question was would he let her know?
He stopped moving franticly and sat down in front of the lake, back resting against a large familiar tree.
././././.
'She's been avoiding me, she has some nerve, I should hate her... but why can't I stop thinking about her?'
'It's because she's the first person who's been a real friend and the person who has ever right never to forgive you?'
'Shut up! God this is so stupid I'm arguing with myself!'
Harry and Hermione weren't the only angst filled teenagers that morning; Draco Malfoy was having his own personal dilemmas as well.
Draco knew he wasn't in love with Hermione, but he knew his feelings for her were more than just friendship.
He really couldn't say if he was or wasn't in love, he'd never really experienced or received it in his life, or if he had he couldn't recognize it.
He did know that love was more than just looking at a person and wanting them, he knew it was more than a fluttery feeling in your gut.
But he knew that if he didn't have Hermione Granger in his life, then he would have no one.
She was his first real friend, a person that liked him for him, who tried to find the best in him after all he'd done to her in the past.
Draco knew what he had to do. He was never one for wavering in a decision; he was a Malfoy, trained to look at the situation and do whatever possible to make it favor his best interest.
But this was different, he wasn't looking out for his best interest, he was just looking for an answer, yes or no.
'I can handle whatever she tells me, it's better than not knowing how she feels too...'
With that last thought Draco headed to the Great Hall to find some Gryffindor who'd tell him where their bloody house was located.
'I like him, I like him not, I like him, I like him not'
'Of course I like him! I wouldn't be his friend if I didn't!'
'But do you like him more than a friend?'
'Damnit I don't know!'
Hermione was sitting in the Room of Requirement at one of the window seats that had appeared when she first walked in over an hour ago.
It was a few days after her evening with Harry and she'd successfully avoided Draco, because she couldn't bring herself to face him, after standing him up.
But at the moment Draco was furthest from her mind, right now she was trying to figure out the fluttery feeling she got in her gut when she saw Harry run his fingers through his hair, smile, wipe his glasses, or his sparkling green eyes. It was worse when he said her name softly, brushed her arm lightly, gave her a one armed hug.
'I need someone to tell me what to do!'
"I hate him for doing this to me!" she cried out loud, jumping up from the window seat, and she paced across the room.
Hermione felt out of control with her emotions, it wasn't a feeling she was used to, she wasn't sure if she liked it or not. But she couldn't deny the fact that her best friend for almost half her life had a hold on her feelings and actions.
She then began to mutter out loud, "I wish he couldn't do that to me! But why do I love it when he does! For almost half my life there hasn't been a moment when he wasn't there, either physically or mentally in the back of my head!"
She was so caught up in her pacing and her mutterings, and since her head was down to the ground watching her feet darting around she didn't look up or notice when someone came in the room.
The person didn't say anything they just observed her from a distance, not wanting to defer her from her musings.
With a frustrated groan she went back to the windows that showed what would be the outside of Hogwarts had the room been with windows.
She leaned her head against the glass.
"All right," she whispered, "I do love him, it's too hard to fight it anymore, I really do..."
She then heard a soft click noise of a door shutting or was it opening?
Whirling around, she was greeted with the sight of no one standing there.
'I hope no one heard that'
'Oh well they wouldn't know who you were talking about'
With that thought, she went back to her declaration of love a few moments, ago.
She felt like yelling it from the rooftops, like telling everyone she knew, but at the same time she wanted to keep it a secret to herself, like a gift that she could take out and admire whenever she was alone. She was in love with Harry, her best friend, the Harry Potter! It was almost too unbelievable for her to wrap her mind around.
Hermione walked over to the table that had just appeared with a simple daisy on it.
Slowly she began pulling the petals off one by one.
When the floor by her feet was littered with white petals, she tugged at the last few.
"I tell him, I love him"
"I tell him not"
The last petal.
"I tell him, I love him."
././././.
Harry was breathing heavily, he'd just run from the Room of Requirement to the Gryffindor Tower.
'She loves him! Oh God this is horrible!' Harry thought in a panic as he lay down on his bed. 'Of all the people she loves him?!'
It didn't even occur to Harry that Hermione could have been talking about him, a large part him hoped she was, but instead the first thing that popped into his head as he heard her whispering her confession was, 'She loves Draco Malfoy?!'
It was pretty stupid of Harry not to realize that Hermione was most defiantly talking about him, but because she'd been talking enthusiastically about working with Draco on their project, Harry gave that more merit then it was worth. He didn't know that Hermione was talking about how great things were with Draco to try to relive her conscious from standing him up the previous evening.
In the back of Harry's mind it could be there that she was talking about himself, but Harry had the tendency not to be self centered and to almost beat himself down at times.
Harry couldn't sit still, he got up and started to pace, but soon it seemed that the room couldn't contain him and he started to walk through the corridors then eventually he was outside.
'If you don't say anything to her, you'll regret it forever'
'You're probably going to die when Voldemort gets a hold of you, she'll never know how much you cared for her how much you loved her'
'What have you got to lose?'
All these questions and more kept going through a cycle in Harry's mind, over and over.
He knew how he felt, he knew it a long time ago, the question was would he let her know?
He stopped moving franticly and sat down in front of the lake, back resting against a large familiar tree.
././././.
'She's been avoiding me, she has some nerve, I should hate her... but why can't I stop thinking about her?'
'It's because she's the first person who's been a real friend and the person who has ever right never to forgive you?'
'Shut up! God this is so stupid I'm arguing with myself!'
Harry and Hermione weren't the only angst filled teenagers that morning; Draco Malfoy was having his own personal dilemmas as well.
Draco knew he wasn't in love with Hermione, but he knew his feelings for her were more than just friendship.
He really couldn't say if he was or wasn't in love, he'd never really experienced or received it in his life, or if he had he couldn't recognize it.
He did know that love was more than just looking at a person and wanting them, he knew it was more than a fluttery feeling in your gut.
But he knew that if he didn't have Hermione Granger in his life, then he would have no one.
She was his first real friend, a person that liked him for him, who tried to find the best in him after all he'd done to her in the past.
Draco knew what he had to do. He was never one for wavering in a decision; he was a Malfoy, trained to look at the situation and do whatever possible to make it favor his best interest.
But this was different, he wasn't looking out for his best interest, he was just looking for an answer, yes or no.
'I can handle whatever she tells me, it's better than not knowing how she feels too...'
With that last thought Draco headed to the Great Hall to find some Gryffindor who'd tell him where their bloody house was located.