Disclaimer: Its Joss's world, we just play in it (aka, I don't own anything, Joss Whedon does, so please don't sue me, I am just doing this for my own enjoyment. There is no money involved, and trust me, I don't have any anyway. I mean, like, none.)

Authors Note: Thanks again Blondigirl and Stacy75. I'm glad you liked the letters, thats my favorite part of the story so far, but there is some good stuff coming. Ok this chapter is a little different, please tell me what you think of it, because if it doesn't seem worthy enough, it will get scrapped and rewritten. By the way, I am my own worst critic, so don't take that sentence as a reason not to read this chapter. I hope you all like it.

Keira had left Spike, telling him that she was going to check on Angel, and make sure that everything was all right. In an act of trust, she brought out to him her mystical book, the one that answered her questions and had been her only companion up until that time. She explained to him how to use it, and then she left him alone with it. She really wasn't sure what he was going to ask it, or how he would react to some of the things that had been written in there, but if they were ever going to trust one another, like she was sure that they all had to do for them to conquer the evil that they were going to be facing, that there was no better time than this time to let that all start. She walked down the hallway towards the library, which is where Spike had said that Angel had been spending most of his time. She entered the room quietly, and saw the vampire pouring over one of the very old tomes that called that room their home.

"Hello Angel."

"Oh, hey Keira, I didn't hear you come in."

"That was kind of my point, I didn't want to startle you."

"Thanks," he said, giving her a grin, "this is quite a collection you have here."

"Yes, it is. Thanks. There was a bookbinder that was part of my clan, before they died, and he was wonderful at creating them. There are even special ones in here, that whenever something new comes about, as in a language or technology or what have you, it writes it down. That's how I learned English, why I can speak it to you. He gave them a bewitchment or something, said some kind of spell over them, and they magically write all their information down when it comes about. Its quite interesting actually."

"Well, that explains some of the books that I have found."

"So, what book are you reading now?"

"Well, to be honest, its about you, or rather, your people. I found it hidden somewhere. Its some kind of history of your clan, going back to when it was first established. It ends a little bit after you are first mentioned, though."

"So, you were doing research on me, huh? Yes, after I had the prophesy, the writer of that particular tome didn't want it to fall into the wrong hands or ever leave the island, you know, because of it, so he just kind of stopped. They only lived a few more generations after that, though. I should have finished it, but I really didn't have the heart."

"Hmm. Spike said he could tell you were a little, well, down, I guess."

"Not that much, its nothing, but he did let me know. The concern was very nice."

Angel kind of shrugged when she said Spike had been nice.

"There's a little bit of animosity between you two, isn't there?"

Angel looked around the room, "You could kind of say that."

"Its funny, because you seem to both have a connection to each other."

"We do." He said, matter of factly, "other than both having loved the same woman. You see, I'm his, well, his grandsire. I'm much older than he is, you know, vampire wise and all."

"You've had your soul longer?"

He gave her a questioning look, "are you really an empath?"

Keira sighed, "Here I go again. No, actually, I am a telepath, and no, I am not reading your mind right now. If I did, you would know it. I could tell in your eyes."

"In my eyes?"

"Yeah, I can see in them that you have had more time to deal with all of the emotions and thoughts that have come from regaining your soul after being a demon. All of those in Spike seem to be a lot closer to the surface. It's also how I can tell which one of you is which without even looking. You both, I don't know, emotionally feel different."

"Cocky and brooding, right?"

"Ok, those were not my words. That came from a book."

"A book?" "Magic book, my only link to the outside world until you two showed up, kept me briefed on things happening in the world that I would ask it. It had said that there were two vampires with souls and described them. If you don't believe me, Spike is looking at the book right now. Ask him."

"You're trusting Spike with that book?"

"Yes, I am trusting him, and I do trust him, just as much as I trust you. I can see the goodness and, well, the humanity in both of you, even if you can't see it in each other." She stated, giving him a knowing glance before exiting the library with a wave.

Keira walked back to the room where she had left Spike. When she reached the doorway, she stood just outside of it, and watched him flipping through the large book. She saw him scanning a few pages, then flipping it farther, then stopping and reading more. He stopped on a certain page, and began reading it thoroughly. She realized that they were the most recent entries, and she knew that there was no turning back now. He would find out what was really bothering her. She slid down the wall and leaned against it, waiting for him to finish. It seemed like an eternity before she heard a deep, but unneeded sigh, and the thud of a closing book. She quickly stood up and walked back into the room.

"So, finished reading?" He nodded, and then looked up at her.

"Take a seat, would you?" he asked.

She walked over and sat in the chair that was opposite of his.

"You've asked this book a lot about us, haven't you?" he asked.

"Yeah." She said, shrugging. "I asked it a bit about you, too."

"Really, what did it say?"

"That you were incredibly intelligent, but amazingly naïve."

"Stupid book." She muttered.

Spike chuckled, but then turned serious again.

"That pain that you feel from us, its not like it isn't there for a reason."

"But why should you be carrying it around?"

"Do you even know why we have our souls?"

"No, not really."

Spike sighed and looked right into her eyes. "When we were soulless creatures, we did a lot of evil things, and now we aren't proud of any one of them."

"But, you're different now, why still hold on to it? I almost feel like you are friends, why can't I try to relieve some of it?"

"You don't really want us as friends."

"Why not?"

"Do you know what its like to be a vampire?"

Keira shook her head

. "I really don't believe I am going to say this, but have a look. Go ahead, I am permitting you, read my mind."

"Are you...are you sure?"

Spike nodded once.

"Alright."

Keira placed one hand on his forehead and closed her eyes. A barrage of images started racing through her mind; William as a boy, sitting alone in a school yard, older, studiously writing in a book, that fateful day when he was changed, staking his mother, his toils with Dru, Angelus, Angel, killing the slayers, Sunnydale, meeting Buffy, Dru leaving him twice, Harmony, Dawn, Anya, the Scooby's, being with Buffy, getting his soul, living in the basement, stopping the hellmouth, on and on and on they flew past, most in some sort of chronological order, but so many that it took her time to comprehend everything after she saw it. When she reached the end, she sat back, her eyes still closed, processing everything that she just saw, all through his eyes. The evil he caused, the pain he caused, but also the loneliness that he felt, the rejection he had lived through, the sacrifice of his life that he had made. When everything had sunk in, against her will, a tear fell down her face.

"Oh Spike." She whispered, looking at him sadly.

"You see what I mean, we deserve what we are feeling."

"I, I don't know. Ok, you do deserve to feel remorse for what you did when you were evil, but you're not that same person now."

"Funny, look like him."

"Angelus and Angel, they are two different entities, right? I mean, Angel would never do what Angelus does, would he?"

"No, probably not."

"Then why should it be any different with you? And the pain before you were changed...you, you're different now, you are no longer the demon that did those things."

"Buffy's said the same thing."

"She's right. I still don't see why I can't be your friend. You need them." Keira stood up, leaned over and kissed Spike on the forehead. Spike looked down, and amazingly, he found that he was at a loss for words.