A/N: It's Sir Integra's 24th birthday! I own no part of Hellsing or any (regular) characters therein. Characters OOC. I think this'll be the last chapter. Thanks to all, it's been fun. Enjoy.

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An extremely bored fledgling vampire sat playing with her talking dolls in her room, giggling the whole time. Set two (Iscariot dolls: Maxwell, Andersong, Yumiko/Yumie and Heinkel) were coming out in a few months, but she had already pre-ordered them. She had also ordered the special Pip doll and couldn't wait to show it to the real one.

But dolls are only so entertaining. Seras' mind began to wander. Looking at a calendar on the wall, she noticed some little red markings on one of the days in the next week. Putting down her toys, she stretched her legs and walked over to it.

Next Wednesday was Sir Integra's BIRTHDAY.

Seras squeaked in surprise and almost tripped over the dolls. She scrambled to her feet.

"Oh, nooooooo!" she moaned. "I didn't know…oh, whatever am I going to do?"

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Meanwhile, Sir Integra was in her office, muttering to herself about how she was going to avoid having another disastrous birthday party this year.

First of all, she was not going to tell that young Seras…

…who just happened to burst through the door at that moment.

"Director Hellsing! Sir Integra!" she said breathlessly. "I didn't know your birthday was next week! We've got so much to do…why haven't we started already?…" she was about to go on when Integra stood up.

"NO!" she said sternly. "I am NOT going to have a birthday party this year!"

"Why not?" Seras asked, confused. "Don't you like parties?"

"I hate them!" declared Integra. "All those people…parties have never gone well for me. I don't like them at all!"

Seras wilted. "Puh-leeeze? I wanna make up a party for you…you deserve a break once in a while, don't you? It'll be fine, it'll be fun!"

Sir Integra massaged her forehead. Seras wasn't going to stop until she did her party. "Oh, fine then. You may plan a party. But it's not going to be huge, got it? Small party!…" but it was in vain. Seras had left the room at, "Oh, fine then." and didn't hear anything else.

Sir Integra sighed again and plopped herself down in her chair. This was going to be one huge headache…

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Planning was running fairly smoothly. Seras decided not to make it a huge affair (Sir Integra found her afterwards and told her) and just to keep it within the confines of the Hellsing manor and its people. That would also make it a whole lot easier. No invitations to hand out. No RVSPs which never were responded to (which always made Seras so mad!) and everyone would be there!

She just had to convince Alucard not to do something stupid…party games.

There would be no party games. None. Because Alucard would do something stupid.

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Finally, the evening of the party arrived! As soon as the sun set, everyone came up to the largest room in the headquarters and got everything ready. Seras checked the food, Walter adjusted some of the candles, and Alucard…well, Alucard was Alucard. He wandered around, pestering the Wild Geese and trying to irritate Seras before Sir Integra arrived.

"Police Girl!"

"Yes, Master?" she sighed as she uncovered the salad dishes. "What is it?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm getting the food ready." she said, not looking up.

"I see there are no other forms of entertainment."

At this, she looked him warily in the eye. "I trust you mean there are no…games."

"Correct." she didn't like the look in his eye.

"I don't want you to do anything that might endanger any of our lives, Master." she said slowly. He chuckled, patting her on the head.

"Oh, don't worry, Police Girl, everything will be all right."

He swept away to bother someone else. Seras shook her head. "I certainly hope so."

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The expression on Sir Integra's face when she saw the party was not one of exuberance, but there was a slight smile to her eyes. Everyone clapped when she walked into the room. Seras greeted her and they all sat down to dinner.

While Alucard looked disdainfully at the food, Seras actually took some for herself, though she didn't eat it. She merely drank the blood out of her wine goblet.

There was roast beef, salads, pork, and various types of bread. Different wines and spritzers, many types of beer for the mercenaries. Sir Integra sat at the head of the table, with Alucard to her right, and Walter to her left. Seras sat to the right of Alucard, and to her right sat Pip. The Wild Geese made up the rest of the congregation.

Seras stood up to make a toast.

"To Director Integral, a fine woman and the best leader of Hellsing I have ever known."

"To Director Integral!" chimed the chorus and drank.

"Thank you." said Integra, standing up. "I do appreciate all the hard work you've put into this, Miss Victoria."

Seras preened.

"And I want to take this opportunity to thank you all for attending tonight."

Everyone clapped, and she sat down.

When they all started eating was when the conversations began to break out.

A few of the Wild Geese were arguing over something, but Seras couldn't hear what they were talking about. She was too busy listening to Alucard brag to Integra about the surprise he'd arranged for later on.

"Surprise?" Integra asked, glancing over at Seras. Seras' eyes widened, and she shook her head, denying all knowledge of any 'surprise' which Alucard had planned. Sir Integra actually looked slightly worried, but regained her composure and had a drink.

Pip nudged Seras and she looked over at him.

"What?" she asked tersely.

"I really like the dinner." he said, jovially. "Who catered?"

"Actually, it was --"

"And you've really outdone yourself with the decorating."

Seras blushed. She'd put candles all over the room, making the place look like it was filled with tiny stars. The curtains were pulled back, making the tall windows gleam, and show the moon and stars. The tablecloth was navy blue and dishes of silver and glass graced the tabletop.

"Uh, thank --"

"But y'know," he said, sloppily, "I didn't think you could do something like this. It's pretty good, for a vampire."

She looked at him more closely, then at his wine glass. She rolled her eyes. He had had a little too much already. Taking the wine glass from his hand, she placed it over where he couldn't reach it.

"Hey!" he whined. "No fair!"

"Not again." she said, "You've had far too much."

He pouted, then turned to talk with the person on his other side. Seras sighed again and looked at Alucard. He had stopped talking and a wicked grin was dawning on his face.

And she didn't like that look.

"Excuse me." Alucard left the table. He slid through the wall, much to the surprise and shock of the few drunken Wild Geese, who looked up before returning to their loud conversations.

Seras looked at Sir Integra. She looked back, equally unsure. They both looked at the wall again.

"Excuse me," said Seras, as she stood up. Recruiting some less drunk mercenaries, she cleared the table and went to the kitchen to get the cakes and desserts.

The grand cake sat on a table in the middle of the kitchen. It was about three feet tall, and decorated so elegantly that Seras held her breath as they picked it up and carried it into the main room.

When they arrived, everyone stood. They placed the cake in front of Sir Integra as she smiled.

Everyone began to sing "Happy Birthday", but at the last line, Alucard leapt out of the cake à la Marilyn Monroe -- which meant nothing but a sash on him -- and sang the last line alone; and as everyone stared in horror, he laughed and jumped through the closest wall. Integra covered her face with one hand and sighed in disgust, though Seras could see a barely concealed grin on her face.

"This is why we don't go to parties," explained Sir Integra to the horrified onlookers.

"Dismissed."

They all ran out except for Seras, Walter and Integra.

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"I'm so sorry!" said Seras for the ten millionth time.

"It doesn't matter. It wasn't your fault." sighed Integra, also for the ten millionth time.

"But…I just…"

"Seras Victoria!" commanded Sir Integra. "That will be quite enough. Go back to your room. And go to bed."

"Yes, Sir." she left.

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Alone in her room, Seras thought about all the things that had happened during the course of her stay at Hellsing. She smiled a little, remembering all the times she had been bored and had found a way to counter it.

She was very tired, so she began to get ready for sleep. Lying down in her coffin bed for her rest during the day, she smiled again.

She wasn't bored any more. Finally.

It was dawn.

The End.

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Well, that's the end of that story, folks. I'm done with this one, let it go out in peace and please do not bother me for sequels. I am currently working on a story which is Iscariot-central, and that will be up in instalments beginning in mid to late July.

Thanks to everyone who read my story, and anyone who left a review is deserving of the highest praise for putting up with my inconsistent titles and instalment dates. I can be reached for any further comments at yellowrosesbackstabberyahoo.ca. I love you all, good night!

Jay-Trusedale.