Chapter 4: In Which They Meet a Very Familiar Pokémon Researcher and a Nonconformist Jigglypuff

"Wha...?" said Misty, Brock, Ash, and Tracy, all more or less at the same time.

"Pika?" said Pikachu, who wasn't currently invisible.

They all turned around to see a young woman, about Brock's age, standing behind them.

She was dressed in a plain white shirt and grey pants, and her brown hair, which was not spiky and didn't stick out in any way, was pulled back very tightly. She had rather large glasses. Despite all this, she was quite pretty- well, Brock thought so, anyway.

"Hello, you are the most amazingly beautiful woman I've ever seen. Would you please be so kind as to tell me your name?"

Ash rolled his eyes, but Tracy and Misty (who was resisting the temptation to drag Brock away by the ear) were staring at the young woman surreptitiously- well, they hoped that it was surreptitious, anyway- trying to figure out who she reminded them of. She looked quite familiar.

"My name is Brynna Douglas-Fir," she said.

Misty and Tracy looked at each other. "Professor Douglas-Fir!" they mouthed in unison.

"I was going to tell you where you were," said not-yet-Professor Douglas-Fir. "But since he-" she didn't specify who she meant, but it was clear by the direction of her glare that it was Brock "seems to be completely mad and the rest of you appear to be idiots who can do nothing but stare and gape, I think I'll be on my way now. Good day."

"No, wait, Professor- I mean, um, Ms. Douglas-Fir!" Tracy (who was still not quite comfortable with calling her Brynna) shouted after her. "We apologise for Brock, and I'm really sorry for staring, it's just you reminded me of someone and I was trying to think of who it is, but anyway, would you please come back and tell us where we are?"

"Why'd you call her Professor Douglas-Fir? She's not Professor Douglas-Fir. She just has the same last name," said Ash, who still hadn't gotten it.

Tracy ignored him. "Please?" he continued. "We're lost and we really need help."

Not-quite-Professor Douglas-Fir turned around. "Fine, if only to shut you up," she sighed. "You're on Erehwon Island."

"Erehwon Island?" Ash repeated.

"Yes, that's what I said," replied Brynna Douglas-Fir impatiently.

"I've never heard of it," Ash said.

"That," said sort-of-Professor Douglas-Fir, "might be because you are ignorant, but is more likely because it's a tiny little nowhere island and it has absolutely nothing interesting on it. Where did you come from, anyhow? You're traveling in the same direction I am, but there's only one town that way-" she pointed behind her "-and that's my town, and I would have known if you had lived there or even passed through it- I mean, it's tiny, and you're ahead of me so you must have started first."

"Would you believe me if I said that several months from now Team Rocket took over the world and six years from now your future self sent... will send... us back in time in a Time Traveling Device (tm) to foil their evil plans and prevent their takeover?" Brock asked, for some reason that his friends couldn't figure out.

Brynna I suppose we'll have to call her Brynna now, because she's not really Professor Douglas-Fir yet considered for a moment. "No," she said finally. "And your use of verb tenses is simply atrocious."

"Dejá vu, anyone?" Tracy muttered.

"Excuse me?" said Brynna. "What did you say?" She wasn't being snide; she was genuinely confused by his comment.

"Never mind," Tracy said quickly.

"Where are you going, by the way?" Misty asked, hoping to salvage the situation somehow.

"I fail to see what business it is of yours," Professor Douglas-Fir... I mean, Brynna... said haughtily.

"I was just wondering," Misty protested.

"Well, if you must know, I was going to the port in Chartreuse City to catch a boat to Kanto. I was hoping to study there to become a Pokémon Researcher."

"What a coincidence," said Brock, "we're going to the port too! We're taking a boat to... um... er, wherever Team Rocket's headquarters are."

Brynna smiled condescendingly. "Goldenrod City, you mean?"

Brock gaped. "You know where Team Rocket's headquarters are? Not only are you beautiful but you're amazingly well-informed!"

Misty, Ash, and Tracy rolled their eyes. So did Brynna.

"Sure. It's only the worst kept secret in the world."

"It is?" said Brock, a little sheepishly.

"Yes. Everyone knows where the headquarters are. It's not finding them that's the problem, it's getting inside. Honestly, where have you been living, under a rock? I mean, I knew that and I live on Erehwon Island for goodness sake!"

There was a long pause in which Tracy, Ash, Misty, and Brock looked rather embarrassed.

"Hey," Brynna said, eventually taking pity on them and trying to change the subject. "Didn't you-" she pointed to Ash- "have a Pikachu on your head a little while ago? Where did it go?"

Ash sweatdropped, realizing that Pikachu must have gone invisible again and he hadn't noticed before. He could still feel it sitting on his head, so he hadn't thought to check.

"It... er... ah... is taking a nap... in its Pokéball," he stammered out.

"Is it now?" said Brynna skeptically.

"Yes. Yes, it is."

"What's your Pikachu's name, by the way?"

"Its name is Pikachu."

"You named your Pikachu Pikachu?"

"Yes, I named it Pikachu. Do you have a problem with that?"

"Let me get this straight. It doesn't have a name, and you don't even know what gender it is. What kind of trainer are you?" Brynna looked slightly disgusted.

"Yeah, I ask him that sometimes too," Misty said.

"Hey! I'm a very good trainer! I'll have you know that I've beaten every gym leader there is, thank you very much!"

"Oh, have you now?"

"Um, guys, are we going to get to the port today or are we just going to stand around and bicker?" Tracy interrupted.

"He's got a point. Let's go," said Misty.

"Right. 'Bye, Professor- uh, Brynna!" Ash (who seemed to have finally caught on- apparently he wasn't a complete idiot) said, perhaps a bit too cheerfully.

"Not so fast."

"Huh?" said everyone (except Pikachu, who had enough sense to keep quiet when it was invisible).

"I'm going with you," said Brynna.

Brock looked elated. Misty, Ash, and Tracy looked terrified.

"You and I are going the same place," she continued. "And you're all such idiots that left on your own you're bound to do something unbelievably stupid. So I'm going with you, at least as far as the port in Chartreuse Town."

"No way, Ash, this is amazing," Misty teased. "A female has agreed to travel with us, and you didn't even have to break her bike first!"

"You're never going to let go of that one, are you? Even though I've already replaced your bike?"

"Just because I'm not angry about it anymore doesn't mean I can't still tease you about it."

This would have been the start of yet another argument. However, just at that moment, a truly fearsome Pokémon- indeed, some might even argue that it was the most fearsome Pokémon of all, even worse than the giant bugs- stepped out of a giant plot hole.

It headed for Ash and his friends (and his not-friend as well), seeming to grow larger with each step. Its terrible eyes gleamed with malice (or so it seemed) as it opened its jaws wide.

"...Jiggly?" it said.

The two syllables struck fear into the hearts of our heroes.

Well, not so much fear as an insane, unreasoning terror.

"OH NO IT'S A JIGGLYPUFF OH NO OH NO IT'S GOING TO SING RUN AWAY RUN AWAY RUN AWAAAAAAY!!!" yelled Ash. Misty, Brock, and Professor, um, Brynna reacted in a way that was quite similar, only not as loud. Only Tracy seemed unfazed.

"It's a Jigglypuff!" he exclaimed, pulling a sketchbook from his backpack. "How interesting! I think I'll draw it."

"Jiggly!" said the Jigglypuff happily. Its eyes lit up, and it took out its microphone and began to sing.

"Jig-a-lee-puff/Puff, Jigglypuff/A-Jig-lee-jigglypuff! /Jigglypuff, Jigglypu-uff/Jigglyjiggly puff!"

"Hey, that's not the Jigglypuff song!" exclaimed Ash.

"No, really?" said Brynna sarcastically. "I never would have guessed."

"What is it, though?" Brock wondered.

"It's the theme song from the first season of the Pokémon TV show," Brynna told them. "You know, the one that goes 'I wanna be/The very best/Like no one ever was...'"

The others looked at her uncomprehendingly, and she trailed off.

"I believe I speak for all of us when I say, what the heck are you talking about?" Misty said.

Brynna looked just as bewildered as they, and somewhat embarrassed. "I'm not really sure," she said. "I don't even know why I said that. It made no sense."

Tracy continued sketching, oblivious to what was going on. The Jigglypuff continued singing.

"I wonder if... this Jigglypuff song... has... the same effects as..." Tracy yawned, and looked around him. Everyone else seemed to be fast asleep.

"Hmm... I guess I'll take that as a yes," he thought, as he drifted off as well.

"Jig-LEE!" said the Jigglypuff angrily, inflating like a balloon. It uncapped its microphone to reveal the marker beneath...

((Someone pointed out to me that it's only the Jigglypuff who travels with Ash & co. in the TV show that has a marker. Which is true, now that I think about it. But... well, this Jigglypuff comes from a plot hole, so it's allowed. And as for the cliche-ness of Jigglypuff having a marker, well, I wrote this a long time ago before I'd read much in the way of fanfiction, so I didn't knowany better. Sorry.))