Chapter Twenty-Five

Homecoming

The coach service was waiting patiently on the roof of the hospital when Severus and Jennifer arrived, a goblin sitting in the drivers seat, offering Jennifer a crooked but friendly smile.

"You're late," the goblin said.

"You know it's bad luck for a coach to leave on time," Severus said curtly back, opening the door. Jennifer was busy staring at the pair of winged horses at first and didn't see him waiting for her to enter. "Shall we? We're expected back, you know."

"Do you always travel like this?" Jennifer said in amazement stepping into the carriage.

"Special occasions, or sometimes long trips over water," Severus said, waving to the goblin as he got in, Jennifer looking around with amazement at how much room they had inside. "It takes longer than Portkey stations but guarantees that one won't be seen traveling by unfriendly eyes, provided the driver knows what he's doing. We've used them for both reasons at one time or another," he added gazing at her as she peered intently out the window at the city below. "This was Dumbledore's idea, really. I was planning to take you by floo powder, but he thought it appropriate since this is how you first arrived at the castle."

"Castle?"

"Well, you didn't expect a wizardry school to be in a high-rise, did you?" Severus asked expressionlessly.

Jennifer became even more glued to the window than ever, wishing they weren't up so high, wanting to see more than an occasional glimpse of fields and towns through the cloud cover. But at last the coach finally began to descend and she saw a glitter of lights upon the edge of the lake, then at last the castle itself. She felt her throat clinch, and a thrill run through her as they neared it, and her stomach dropped but not because of the spiraling decent onto some sort of sport's field. She glanced over at Severus when they landed. He was watching her very intently, monitoring every reaction.

"Familiar?" he asked quietly.

"No, only… it feels like home," she smiled, stepping out onto the Pitch.

Flights of owls flew overhead hooting in greeting, and she could hear the sound of conversation of a great many people through openings at the top of huge stained glass windows to the one side of her. Severus glanced at his watch, taking a few steps forward to show her the way.

"Running a little late, but we did pick up a bit of time… still in time for dinner," Severus said, hurrying in.

"Oh, I'm much too nervous to eat right now," Jennifer protested.

"That's quite all right. I was hardly expecting you to actually eat," Severus said, walking down a wide hallway towards a pair of large double doors.

"Well if you don't expect me to eat, then why are we going?" Jennifer asked, breathing hard to catch up.

"Well, you once asked me how much friends and family you have, so I thought I'd introduce you to a fraction of them," Severus said calmly, pulling her arm so that she stood in front of him as the doors suddenly opened.

Jennifer peered into to an enormous hall where one either side of her were two very long tables that stretched down three-fourths of it, filled with students that looked up from their meals with surprise. In front of her was a long dais where a rather impressive looking group of wizards and witches sat, and in the center was a man she recognized; Albus Dumbledore, who had gotten to his feet with a warm, welcoming smile. Severus nudged her firmly from behind to coax her to move forward, and quite reluctantly she did so, aware that everyone's eyes were on her.

"Come on, come on, I'm the only one in here that bites. Up to the main table," Severus murmured to her impatiently just before a roar of applause suddenly broke out within the student body. The rest of the staff stood as she got close to the table and Severus led her over the two empty chairs there. She nearly made it before she hesitated again, stopping to stare through one of the professors before she realized why she could see through him. The ghost of Icarus Ravenclaw merely smiled at her and nodded.

"Let her sit in your seat this once, Severus, after all she's rather the guest of honor tonight," Albus said, and Severus immediately helped her into the seat next to Dumbledore, taking the position between her and a very ancient looking man that Jennifer could only assume was Professor Witolf. As the rest of the staff sat she caught the eye of the older woman on the other side of Dumbledore, who was clapping with the rest of the students with tears in her eyes.

It was only then that she caught sight of the dazzling ceiling and floating candles, feeling another strange chill running through her that she couldn't explain before glancing back down again. Andrew and Halbert, sticking out rather noticeably around the rest of their classmates, waved happily to her, grinning from ear to ear. Immediately she started searching for the others until she finally picked Alex's auburn hair out of the crowd, and Aurelius, who was mixed in with mostly older students.

"We are so very glad to have you back here where you belong, Jennifer. Hogwarts just wasn't the same without you," Dumbledore smiled.

"Thank you, Albus, although all the sudden I'm not sure how much I can actually help here, really," Jennifer said, "It's rather overwhelming."

"Well, I think it's mutually beneficial for you to get out of that hospital and start feeling productive again. You never were one to sit still, and from what Severus has told me, that is still true. Besides, Jennifer, I don't think that you'll be able to get your memories back by sitting in bed. You need to be out experiencing the world again so you can rediscover them on your own. Don't you agree, Severus?"

"Of course, sir," Severus said, toying with his goblet. "Provided she's supervised until she gets her feet wet, as it were."

"Well, good, I'm glad you at least agree to some extent. I'll be able to count on you both helping chaperone the last shopping trip to Hogsmeade before the holidays then, I trust. That's the town on the far side of the forest, Jennifer, the week after next."

"Wonderful, I'd be glad to. I'd love to see more of the area anyway," Jennifer agreed enthusiastically. Severus suddenly stopped mid-drink and put down his goblet as if he had just been tricked into doing something unpleasant.

Upstairs Jennifer had more surprises in store as Severus paused in front of the painting of a Raven just off the staircase, which rumbled below her as the stairs changed position in a rather unnerving manner.

"This leads to your sitting room. The dragon down the hall leads to mine. The password to yours is, 'bienvenue lumière d'obscurité'… don't blame me for that, by the way. Dumbledore set it up. You can change it at your leisure, of course. Mine right now is, "Destiny fears only inaction."

"Are the passwords always so deep?" Jennifer couldn't help but ask.

"No, normally the two of us have always set up similar ones so we could keep track of them, as well as our offices downstairs, although I don't suppose you'll have one of your own for awhile. You can use mine once Dumbledore gets his things out. I believe right now he has it set to something like, 'Tea should not be served with philosophy.'"

"What's that one supposed to mean?" Jennifer laughed as he opened the painting.

"Something having to do with his visit with Merlin, I should think. Shall we go in?"

"Surely you don't mean the Merlin," Jennifer said with amazement. "But he's not been around for thousands of years!"

"Yes, that will take some explaining as well," Severus decided, coaxing her in.

"Is there anything that won't?" Jennifer asked teasingly, gazing around at the room.

Ornate rugs were on the floors and tapestries covered the walls not occupied by floor to ceiling bookshelves, and there were several chairs and a couch with a table low enough to be comfortable but high enough to work on. There was a desk near the bookshelves, clean except for a few books and a crystal lamp. Near the frosted windows was a pair of familiar stands where an owl and Ratfly were dozing, while by the door was a carved end table with silver tea set, while on the other side of the door was a floor length mirror with a gold foil frame. "What a large mirror," she murmured, standing in sight of it mesmerized. "Why, it's enchanted, isn't it?"

"No, why?" Severus asked curiously.

"It's strange, but I'm hearing an echo in my head, as if I were trying to read my own mind," Jennifer said, staring at it with confusion.

"It sounds as if the last of that nasty drug has finally fallen off," Severus said, Jennifer frowning at him puzzledly. Gently Severus turned her around to face him, lifting up her chin. "Ask me something. Anything you've wanted to know the truth about," he said in a low voice.

"Anything?"

"I have nothing to hide from you. Well, not until we get closer to Christmas," he amended with the faint hint of a grin before turning completely serious again. "What do you want to know?"

"I want to know if you truly do love me now, as I am this very moment, and if it turns out that there is no hope of me getting what I lost, would you still?" Jennifer asked softly. Severus gazed at her for a long moment.

"Yes," he said simply.

But what happened next was anything but simple. His thoughts and all the reasons behind the answer pierced through her like a knife then exploded outwards as the different levels of it exposed themselves… his memories of her as Jacqueline at the heart of them, and she heard her own voice echo in the midst of his own thoughts while his reasons danced about each thought like a ring, linking each to the next. But as she got lost in his eyes, she found she could go deeper still, and realized that the reasons went even deeper than perhaps he realized, and somehow knew it was in her as well… that strange shocking sensation that had occurred when she had first met… it had not been the first time that had happened, and he had experienced it as well, she was sure. Then she noticed something else buried in the back, encased in a protective shell to hold it from disturbing the rest of the thoughts as they came, but Jennifer recognized it, for she knew that within herself as well. She had barely touched it before the thought consumed her and she tore herself away until once again she saw his eyes growing very alarmed indeed when they had noticed the tears in hers.

"Oh Professor… oh Severus," she said at last.

"Are you all right? Perhaps showing you that gift of yours was a bit too much for you to understand too soon," Severus frowned.

"No, it isn't that," she whispered, not turning her way. "I just never realized how much pain you were in. I am so sorry." Severus stared at her for a moment before finally closing his eyes, drawing her to him and pulling her head to his chest away from his gaze.

"I wasn't expecting you to go that far," he murmured, angry at himself. "If I had, I wouldn't have offered."

"All of those years we shared… good and bad… hardships and grief… trials and triumphs, and yet now you're faced with remembering them alone."

"It is not your fault," Severus whispered, still holding her tight so she couldn't see his face, kissing the top of her head. "We have all suffered in our own ways from this, and I'd rather you concern yourself with your own recovery and not mine."

"What concerns you concerns me," Jennifer said firmly. "I have to have my memories back, I know that now. I may have been able to live with my own suffering, but not yours and not the children's. I'm not going to let them tear this family apart."

"No, never," Severus said softly. "But I want you to concentrate on doing what's best for you now, first and foremost." Jennifer pushed herself away enough to be able to look at him.

"You are what's best for me," Jennifer whispered. "If that weren't true, would I be here?"

Severus gazed at her again before kissing her gently, not allowing either of them to take it farther than that.

"We have a busy day tomorrow," he said expressionlessly. "Come, let me finish showing you around." He slipped away to open a door in the back, and she followed him into a very simply decorated bedroom with matching stands, bureaus and wardrobes. "Here are your things on this side, and as you can see, the bathroom is through there," he said with a wave as she peered in, a lot more impressed than he was after the tiny flat bathroom she had before, turning her attention to the wardrobe next and opening it curiously.

"Oh thank goodness! I did have taste after all!" she said with relief as she pulled out a couple of dresses putting them up to herself.

"Impeccable," Severus agreed, watching her a moment. "My sitting room is through this door opposite yours, so if you need anything, feel free to come get me." Jennifer looked up with surprise.

"Come get you?" Jennifer repeated.

"Yes, I have quite a deal of work to catch up on, so I think I'll stay up and get some of it done. If you get hungry, just turn the dishes over in your sitting room; the House Elves will have something ready for you. Good night," he said, quickly slipping into the next room and closing the door.

Jennifer stood there with her hands on her hips staring at the door for a moment. Was it her imagination, or did he just give her a convenient brush off? Well, it served her right, she mused, after the way she treated Mark all of that time. No, what was she thinking? Mark was getting paid to watch over her. And Severus did love her, if she could trust that strange ability that had come over her when she looked at him.

Trying to talk herself into believing she was just imagining things, Jennifer got ready for bed, finding everything she needed and more in her wardrobe and in the bathroom, feeling quite relaxed by the time she climbed into bed and blew out the candles.

But she found herself lying awake, listening. After a few moments, she heard the fluttering of wings outside the window, and an occasional hoot in the distance. She waited impatiently for the next noise, but it was a long time coming, so long, in fact, that she threw back the covers and rolled back out of the bed. She threw on a robe lying in a chair nearby and stepped over to the other door, slowly turning the handle peered inside.

Severus was sitting at the table with a quill with a a pile of papers in front of him, and a stack of books at hand. Well, at least wasn't making up the part about having a lot of work to do, Jennifer thought.

She slipped inside, looking curiously around. This sitting room seemed more about functionality than comfort, and it had a lot of extra shelves in it. But one corner near the door was set up quite different, featuring a corner bookshelf was filled with novels instead of textbooks. Nestled on the shelf was a book pedestal, displaying one of the novels in glass. Nearby was a music stand and a chair where a violin case sat, and on one of the shelves nearby sat the pipe she had given him.

"Still awake? Is everything all right?" he asked, glancing at her briefly before returning to his work.

"I can't sleep. It's too quiet," Jennifer complained, walking over to peer curiously at the student papers he was reviewing.

"I can make you a potion to help you sleep if you'd like," he offered, setting one of the papers aside.

"Oh, no thanks, I'd rather not," Jennifer admitted. Severus looked up at her thoughtfully.

"I wouldn't give you anything I didn't think was safe and that you didn't understand exactly what it did," he said quietly.

"I know, Professor, I trust you," Jennifer assured him quickly. "It's just that I'd rather not get in the habit. And I do need to get used to things now that I'm here, don't I?"

"Yes," Severus agreed thoughtfully, watching her.

"Rather funny, I suppose. I never thought I'd actually miss the sound of the T.V. in the next room," Jennifer said, shifting uncomfortably. "Do you have much to do?"

"Yes, in fact it'll probably keep me up most the night. I'll just get a quick nap in here before class, it's no bother," Severus said, Jennifer nodding to herself at that. "Care to borrow a book?"

"No, I'm fine," she said quickly. "I'll just… try again, I suppose." Severus watched as she shut the door behind herself, letting out a very long sigh.

Inside, Jennifer climbed back into the bed, drumming her fingers against the blankets irritably as she tried to settle in, her mind too busy puzzling over Severus' behavior to really let herself relax.

Suddenly, she heard an excruciatingly painful noise followed by several somewhat melodic notes and another screech. Realization sunk in as she remembered the violin sitting on the chair and she chuckled a bit, wondering exactly what it was that he was trying to play. Just when it sounded like he was getting somewhere, a note would go flat again and she'd wince, unable to stop from giggling every time it did. She didn't remember getting tired, but sure enough before the last note screeched along the bow she was fast asleep.