Chapter 18: In Which Peace, Order, and Noodles are Restored... Well, Sort Of

"...And that's what happened," said Misty, concluding their tale. The Goldenrod Officer Jenny (who, thankfully, had not been blown up after all) looked skeptical.

"So this worldwide noodle shortage is caused by Team Rocket stealing all the noodles, following a plan that you five-"

"Pika!" interjected Pikachu, but Officer Jenny ignored him.

"-accidentally gave them," she continued, "while trying to stop them from taking over the world?"

"That's right, Officer," Tracey confirmed.

"And how did you know that they were planning world domination?" Officer Jenny asked.

"Well, they're Team Rocket," Misty said, a little too quickly (probably she was trying to get her answer in before Ash told the improbable, if truthful, time-travel story). "They're always plotting something, aren't they?"

"If that's the case, why did you choose now to go after them as opposed to any other time? Why not last week, or last month? Or next month, for that matter?"

"We were bored and there was nothing on TV?" Misty offered.

"Ha, ha," said Officer Jenny sourly. "There's something fishy about your story, but I can't quite figure out what it is..." she paused, then said, in mock excitement, "Aha, I've got it now! It sounds fishy 'cause it's the most ridiculous crap I've ever heard! Nonconformist jigglypuffs that can write... almost-missed boats... Phanpies outside of Olivine, of all places... inept Team Rocket members, some of whom are actually Nurse Joys in disguise... noodles...it's just outrageous. Next you'll be telling me that you come from two thousand years in the future and you were sent back in time to stop Team Rocket from taking over the world."

"Of course not," said Ash. "That's just silly."

"Oh good, at least you make some vague concessions to reality."

"We only come from... let's see... about... um, less than ten years in the future," Ash told her matter-of-factly.

"So you're telling me you really do come from the future, huh?"

"Yeah," said Ash. "All of us but Brynna, that is. She comes from Erehwon Island."

"Oh, Ash, this is no time for your weird jokes," Brynna said.

"Yeah," agreed Misty, nudging Ash meaningfully in the ribs, "stop telling silly stories."

"It's not a joke!" protested Ash. "I'm telling the truth!"

"Oh, yes, just like you're telling the truth about your Pikachu being invisible," Brynna said sarcastically.

Ash, of course, was too dumb to notice the sarcasm. "See," he told Officer Jenny, "she believes me. Don't you, Brynna?"

"No, I don't, actually," Brynna said disgustedly. "I was being sarcastic."

"Oh," said Ash. "I couldn't tell."

I'll spare you the rest of their conversation with Officer Jenny because it'd take up about eight pages all by itself and was, after this point, fairly circular.

Some hours later, Officer Jenny finally said, "Fine. We'll look into it. Leave me a number where you can be reached, and I'll get back to you later."

"Thanks!" said Ash happily, handing her the business card of the Pokémon Center where they were staying. Brock, of course, said, "No, how about you leave me your number, and I'll call you-"

"I SAID, I'll get back to you later. Now go away. I have real crimes to investigate."

The six of them (that'd be Brynna, Brock, Misty, Ash, Tracey, and Pikachu) hurriedly exited the police station and went back to the Pokémon Center.

Time passed. Ash ate lots of food. Brock tried to talk to Brynna. Brynna was sarcastic. Misty went shopping. Pikachu tap-danced. Tracey sketched. The phone did not ring.

"Oh, well," said Misty, "it's only been a day. They might not have found anything yet."

Time passed. Ash ate some more. Brock called Nurse Joy and asked her out. She hung up on him. Brynna argued with people. Misty got fed up with people and hit them. Pikachu played the kazoo. Tracey sketched. The phone still did not ring.

"It hasn't been a week quite yet," Ash said hopefully. "Maybe they'll call tomorrow."

Time passed. Brock flirted with Nurse Joy some more. She slapped him. Misty complained about how much money the room at the Pokémon Center was costing her. Ash argued with her. Brynna pointedly ignored everyone, except when she felt like hitting them or yelling at them. Pikachu wrote a novel. Tracey sketched. The phone STILL didn't ring.

Time discarded two cards. Space discarded three, and Chance discarded one. Fate passed. Time upped the ante by two dollars, and Space folded.

Finally, Officer Jenny called.

"Okay," she said grudgingly, "you were right. Some weirdo named Giovanni has just interrupted all the TV programs somehow to announce that he's stolen all the noodles and if we want any we must pay ten (p-like symbol) per noodle, or something like that. I'll look into it, but I can't promise anything- as I said before, I have real crimes to investigate."

"Like what?" said Tracey, who had been chosen to answer the phone because he was smarter than Ash, less temperamental than Misty, nicer than Brynna, and not as desperate as Brock (who'd probably spend the entire phone call hitting on Officer Jenny until she hung up in disgust). Of course, none of this was really saying much.

"Like, oh, say, who blew up half of Goldenrod last week!" Officer Jenny said exasperatedly.

Tracey seemed slightly surprised. "But it's the same person!"

"The same person as what?" Officer Jenny asked confusedly.

"The same one who stole all the noodles," Tracey told her.

"Really," Officer Jenny said skeptically. It was not really a question so much as it was an expression of disbelief.

"Really." Tracey assured her.

"Well, the problem is, I only have your word on that and I kind of sort of don't entirely believe it. Look, I have to go now. There are, as I have repeatedly told you, real crimes I must attend to."

"But what about my noodles?" Ash cried from somewhere off to the side of the vidphone unit.

"If you want noodles, you've just got to wait until they make more," Jenny said irritably. "This Giovanni guy didn't steal the noodle-making machines, genius that he was." And with that, she hung up.

"Aww... I didn't get to talk to her at all," Brock complained. Misty looked annoyed and rather hurt, and opened her mouth to say something. Then she happened to look at Ash, and when she saw the look on his face, she stopped.

Ash was staring at nothing in particular, an expression of utter shock on his face.

"What the hell is your problem?" Misty asked him.

"They cam make more noodles! I never realized they could make more noodles! I can have noodles again! This is great!"

"...I'm sorry I asked," Misty said, giving him a strange look.

-----------------------

In the new Top Secret Team Rocket Headquarters (No Twerps Allowed- This Means You), Giovanni and Stephanie (head of department of Evil Plans) were sitting in a room full of noodles.

"Well, it looks like no one wants these," Stephanie said unhappily. "We've been here since your broadcast this morning and not a single person has come.

"Great. Just great," grumbled Giovanni. "What will we do with these things now?"

"Well, we could always eat the noodles, Boss. And so could the other Rockets. That'd get rid of these pretty quickly, knowing the way that some of our team members eat."

Giovanni stared at Stephanie with much the same expression that Ash had worn when Officer Jenny suggested making more noodles. "That's it!" he exclaimed. "Stephanie, you're a genius!"