Chapter Thirty-Eight
Jennifer Craw and the Maze of Dreams
As Jennifer's eyes adjusted, she realized she wasn't in complete darkness after all. A strange mist filled the air in the caverns, and the dim blue light seemed to be coming mostly from it. She recognized the area at once, for it was the maze that she had dreamt about. Of course, she hadn't counted on the ceilings being quite as low as they were. Quickly she put her head down, determined not to look up again, taking a cautious step through the mist.
It was then that she saw Keki. At first it looked as if she were part of the mist itself, but then she began to solidify, so perfect and real in every way that Jennifer eagerly went up to touch her. But Keki shied away, bolting down one of the corridors. Panicked, Jennifer followed, but as she turned another corner, she found herself at a dead end. Before she could turn around, Jennifer became disoriented and closed her eyes to steady herself. When she opened them again, she found herself hit with a shock wave.
She was looking in the face of her mother. She was sure it was, and so very beautiful, standing in front of a gilded mirror and brushing out her golden brown hair. Of course, her mother was doing more than that. Her strained gaze was intently gauging her own thoughts through the glass, for she too was a Truth Seeker. Jennifer quietly crept up then, finding herself mesmerized by the crystal bottles of potions and ointments on the stand until her mother looked down at her.
"Jennifer, what are you doing still awake? You need to go to bed. We have a busy day tomorrow."
"But I wanted to wait up for Father," she heard herself saying, her voice sounding strange to her ears. Cautiously she peered in the mirror to see a seven-year-old girl looking back at her with huge green eyes and long auburn hair.
Sighing with exasperation, her mother turned and began to brush her hair instead, and Jennifer felt an ache she hadn't known was there before being pulled and tugged with every tangle.
"You will see him in the morning as you always do. He will only be cross if you wait up for him," she told her daughter gently.
"I don't mind if he's cross. I just don't want to sleep until he gets home," Jennifer complained.
"Now don't be silly, why ever would you want to risk that just to stay up an extra hour or two, especially when you're obviously so tired," her mother asked, still brushing her hair.
"Because when he goes out at night you're always afraid that he won't come back," Jennifer said. Her mother gazed at her in the reflection before putting down the brush and sitting on a small satin bench with her back to the mirror, pulling her daughter over.
"I know that you're seeing a lot of things right now in your father and my faces that you don't understand. But one of the things you're going to have to learn about your talent is that people are afraid all of the time of all sorts of different things. You can't let yourself be drawn into them. You'll have more than enough worries to contend with on your own, without adding anyone else's. Do you understand?" she asked quietly.
"But can't I just worry for father all by myself?" Jennifer asked. A look of grief crossed her mother's face then as she pulled Jennifer into a hug, pressing her head to her to make sure the girl couldn't see her face any longer.
"Of course you can," her mother answered quietly. "But not for me, all right? Not for me."
Jennifer shivered as she found herself standing in the caverns again, but she didn't have to wander far before she met another dead end. She gazed down the way she had come, brushing her tears away before taking a step forward.
"No, stop it! I'm done, I'm done, stop!" Jennifer came in shouting, throwing her wand. It was caught in mid-air by someone she recognized at once; even though the man's hair was more auburn and he had a beard.
"Don't ever throw a wand like that. Especially this wand," Thomas Craw warned her, handing it back. "You'll respect magic and you'll respect me, whether you like it or not. It took you much too long to break free of the Imperius Curse that time, Jen-girl."
"Dad, I'm tired," Jennifer complained.
"Do you think your enemies are going to care if you're in prime fighting condition or not? Now get up and try again!" he ordered.
"Thomas, aren't you being a little too hard on her?" Jennifer recognized her mother's voice behind her and saw her standing there dressed in Muggle clothes, looking at them with open concern. "She's only ten."
"Alice, do you think our enemies are going to care if she's ten or not if they catch up with us?" he said. "Besides, you know better than to criticize my lessons. I'll teach her in my own way."
"But Thomas, he's gone now," Alice said quietly, gazing at her daughter. Jennifer had pulled her rabbit, White, out of a desk drawer and was petting him. "She deserves a normal life."
"He's not gone," Thomas said firmly. "And there's no such thing as a normal life for a Craw. Besides, I only have one more year left before she goes to magic school. She's not going to be left vulnerable. Come on, Jen-girl, put that stupid field pest down and show me that Craw backbone of yours!"
Reluctantly, Jennifer put her rabbit down and stood, bracing herself as Thomas pointed his wand at her again.
Racing down the tunnel, Jennifer didn't stop until she got to an intersection, unsure of which way to go. Finally she thought she saw something pass down the left hand corridor and headed after it, following a spiraling corridor until it too, ended up in a dead end.
"Jennifer?"
Jennifer looked up from where she was hiding behind the row of trimmed hedges that lined Whitebridge campus to see her Mr. Elk standing there, thoughtfully holding onto the medicine pouch he kept around his neck. Mr. Elk was her Enchanted Items teacher, her second best subject next to Potions; but in Jennifer's eyes, Mr. Elk himself stood second to no one. The Cherokee was tall and sharp featured, his strange dress and imposing manner rather intimidating to the new students coming into the school. But Jennifer soon took to him and his style of teaching, treating each student in his class as an individual, and yet somehow managing to do so without bias to any. Bias would have been disrespectful, and Mr. Elk was all about respect.
"Your totem may be a squirrel, but that does not mean you should hang about in the bushes all day," he said with a gentle smile. "Who was it this time?"
"No one in particular," Jennifer said quickly. "I just needed some time to think."
"Thinking is a good habit to get into, especially in school," Elk agreed. "But it doesn't necessarily have to be done alone. Come, let's take a walk. We can clear our minds so that we can think more wisely," he said, putting his hand out. Jennifer knew it wasn't for a hand up. Instead she sighed and took out a small yellow folded mirror, handing it to him. "You rely too much on this for your main means of friendship, Jennifer."
"Yes, Mr. Elk. So you've told me before," Jennifer said, this time accepting his help to stand. A couple of her classmates passed by on their way to the Quidditch Pitch, rolling their eyes and murmuring to themselves when she stepped out of the bushes. Jennifer glared at them but didn't say a word, knowing that what she was thinking Elk would hardly approve of. Of course, he would hardly have approved of what Julie and Trendy were talking about either.
"What do you see when you look in the mirror, Jennifer?"
"The only person I know who understands me," Jennifer said bitterly.
"Perhaps that's true," Mr. Elk agreed. "Although I have never seen you going out of your way to help anyone understand, either."
"As if anyone would let me get close enough! Who in their right mind would want to have anything to do with someone who can tell what they're thinking? Not to mention someone who is scholastically a complete wash-up."
"Jennifer, you get perfect scores in every class in magical theory."
"What good is magic on paper when my spells have no substance? If it wasn't for Potions or your class, I'd be a complete failure."
"I think you already know what my answer to that would be," Mr. Elk said. Jennifer sighed.
"You only fail if you give up," Jennifer said, less than enthusiastic about repeating any of his class mottos, let alone the one he repeated most often.
"Just concentrate on your strengths, Jennifer, you don't have to be good at everything. Don't turn green at those occasional C's in your off classes, put your effort into your A talents, because that's what you'll be relying on when you get into the real world."
"Lovely. If I follow that philosophy, I'd end up being an alchemist, but there'd be no challenge whatsoever in that for me. I don't want to be bored out of my mind," Jennifer brooded.
"No, I don't think that would be a healthy life choice for you," Elk agreed. "Your innate talents reading people would go stale, and you would merely use it as you are now, as an escape to all the things that you don't want to deal with," he said. Jennifer refused to look at him, but she couldn't deny to herself that he was right. "Nature doesn't instill us with powers to help ourselves, Jennifer. We are given them so that we can help each other and preserve the balance of this planet and all living things. You will find that the best job for you will encompass the best of all your talents, not just one."
"All right," Jennifer said testily. "Name me one job then where my talents in Potions, Items, and Truth Seeking can be used simultaneously."
"You could be a doctor," he said, Jennifer immediately waving her hands in protest.
"No, no, no. Healer's school or not, Mr. Elk, I just couldn't do it. I don't have the temperament or the interest," Jennifer said emphatically. "Name me another one!"
"Ever thought of going into teaching?" Mr. Elk said. Jennifer looked at him thoughtfully a moment.
"If I were going to teach anyone anything, it'd be how silly it is to be afraid of Truth Seekers," she said at last.
"But Jennifer," Mr. Elk smiled, "you can teach them how to do that right now."
Jennifer wandered down the corridor a bit, her mind thinking over her school days with mixed feelings, eager to find something happier to think about. But as began to follow Keki out of that section of the maze she paused and glanced down what appeared to be a short hallway, deciding to take a detour.
"Left, Jennifer."
"My left or your left?"
"Your other left," Severus sighed.
They were standing in a very large basement, although half of it was taken up with lab equipment. But a large portion of the floor was clear enough for a dance lesson, and as they passed the stairs, Jennifer realized that they were in the basement of the Broom Closet where the family room now was.
"Pay attention, there will be time enough to gaze around after you learn how to stay off my feet," he said sternly.
"Oh, but they're such very nice feet," Jennifer teased.
"Yes, and I'd like to keep them in one piece. Step back a bit more," he advised.
"And how exactly do you expect me to do that when you're holding me so tight?" she asked him, gazing into his eyes.
"Yes, well that's the challenge, isn't it?" he said, making no attempts at letting her go. "Besides, it seems you're getting the hang of it now."
"I'm cheating," Jennifer admitted. "I can read from your eyes what your next move will be."
"Oh, you can, can you?" Severus said, his expression changing slightly. Smiling lovingly in response, Jennifer leaned in even closer so he could kiss her.
As Jennifer appeared in the cavern again, she felt something inside her tug and pull as those early memories of Severus began to sift through. Eagerly without prompting she raced to the next dead end and the next; and with each memory lived, hundreds more filled her mind, piecing themselves together like a jigsaw puzzle with often with Keki leading the way. Then at last as Jennifer got to a new bend the mist changed colors from blue to violet, and Keki stood at entrance, making it plain that she couldn't go in.
"Why, are they terrible?" Jennifer asked worriedly, peering into the violet mist. Even if they were, she thought to herself, she knew for certain she already had conquered the worst of them. Whatever was in there, she was sure she could handle.
Impatiently Keki nudged her in with her muzzle, and reluctantly Jennifer looked back, hesitating. It was a one-way trip, she was sure of it, and Keki couldn't follow. With a sudden onslaught of emotion, Jennifer found herself wrapping her arms around the Unicorn's neck, tears in her eyes. But as she did so, she found herself feeling very strange… as if she were being sapped of some of her braveness, being replaced with something else… something strangely familiar. Why was she afraid to go on?
Keki suddenly reared, nearly getting her Horn caught on the ceiling as she did and Jennifer found herself having to back up trying not to upset her any more. Seeing that she wasn't moving, Keki charged her. Terrified, Jennifer fled into the corridor, forgetting for a moment that the Unicorn couldn't go on as she turned a corner and ran into another dead end.
Severus lay beside her in the darkness, his gaze incredibly serene in the soft candlelight. Jennifer found herself looking at the ceiling of her bedroom at the Broom Closet, and what had happened in the caverns between she and Keki had become clear. She had crossed over into her married life, and it was near the end of their first two weeks as a couple, the night before their newly adopted son would join them and they would have to face with readjusting to their newly formed family.
Severus' eyes were filled with emotion, but he did not speak knowing that Jennifer was reading him; knowing how much he had coveted those two weeks alone with her, knowing they would not likely find so many opportunities to be uninterrupted in the future. He touched her cheek gently then, as if trying to convince himself that she was really there.
"Have I told you recently how beautiful I think you are?" Severus asked.
"Quite often, in the heat of the moment," Jennifer answered coyly.
"Does that make it any less of a fact when you look into my eyes?" he murmured, shifting casually so that the blankets conveniently fell away from her.
"No," Jennifer admitted softly, "although I do think you sometimes take advantage of it so that you don't have say everything."
"Use to my advantage, yes, take advantage of, no," he corrected, putting his arm around her waist. "Rather difficult to take advantage of someone when one finds himself at the complete mercy of someone's beckon call."
"Did someone need something?" A meek voice asked out of thin air.
"No!" Jennifer and Severus barked, and then Jennifer broke out into a giggle.
"The next order of business is getting this room sound proofed," Severus decided. "Well, maybe not the very next order of business," he added with a sinister smile.
"Just be careful not to use the 'm' word this time," Jennifer said with an evil grin.
"Oh, I was planning to see how close I can get you to saying it," Severus said wickedly, kissing her.
"Nana Tigge!"
Jennifer had her hands full with Alicia who was screaming at the top of her lungs, the quickly arrested stencils in her other hand.
"Corey! Anybody!" Jennifer pleaded, trying to separate Andrew and Aurelius, the two and three year olds fighting over the same toy train. Finally, Aurelius freed it and whacked Andrew over the head with it. Quickly Jennifer put Alicia in the playpen and went to sort it out when Corey finally came down the stairs. "Corey, get Alex, will you?" she said, getting a cold press for Andrew's head. "Where's Nana Tigge?"
"It's two o'clock, Mom, she's taking her milk and honey break," Corey explained, looking around. "Where's Alex?"
"Chimney," Jennifer said, tossing the fight-causing train on the mantel and sitting Aurelius in the chair.
"What, again?" Corey sighed, peering up the flu. "All right, young lady, you come down here at once!" There was a giggle and a rain of dust came down on Corey's head. "Who left the grill off, anyhow?"
"My guess is your Dad did when he snuffed out the ice fire last night. Mercy, could you have someone clean the pictures up off the family room wall please?" Jennifer called into the air as she finished looking Andrew over. "All right, you can go. Oh, no, not you young man, you're staying put… and stop that!" She warned Aurelius, taking the train that had appeared in his hands back away from him. Aurelius folded his arms in annoyance. It was then that she glanced over at the playpen, for Alicia's crying had abruptly stopped. "Alicia?" She said, stepping up take a closer look before putting her hand on her head. "Oh, damn, not again!"
"Here we are, dearies! Where are me poppets?"
Jennifer looked up to see a very small old woman with pointed ears appear at the bottom of the stairs, Andrew immediately running to her. A moment and a soot cloud later, Alex appeared and ran over to her, Corey tumbling out after, completely coated in ash.
"Thank goodness," Jennifer said, glancing at the family room, which had turned into a demilitarized zone. "All right, whose turn is it to get Alicia?"
"I went last time," Corey complained.
"I can go if you like, m'lady," Tigge offered.
"No, no, it's quite all right, I'd rather you see to these three monsters," Jennifer sighed, getting down her Multi-Continental Frequent Porters card off the mantle.
"I think it's Dad's turn," Corey said.
"It would be if he were back yet," Jennifer said dangerously.
"Well, you're in luck, because I thought I heard something pop in the flu while I was in there," Corey said, waving his hand to shake the dust off of himself.
"Severus!" Jennifer shouted up the stairs, waiting below it until he finally appeared and stepped downstairs, "What did you do, buy out Witolf's entire stock?" He gazed at her expression thoughtfully before noting the bandaged Andrew, dust-covered Alex and the state of the family room.
"Not entirely," he said expressionlessly. "Are we having a rough day?" Jennifer stared at him unamused before grabbing his hand and putting the card in it.
"Will you go get your daughter, please? And be back before supper," Jennifer added.
"Their supper time or ours?" he asked.
"You're not funny, Severus," Jennifer said. "I've seen you make it to California and back in half an hour when you weren't in the mood to deal with Sirius. I'd like to get out of the house for a while, and maybe pick up the you-know-what from you-know-where for you-know-who."
"Crusher Elite bat, the studded one, guaranteed for life never to split or splinter no matter how rogue the Bludger it might hit," Corey put in. "Best price I've seen is at the Diagon Alley shop. Hogsmeade wanted five sickles more and I'm not even going to talk about the mark up Myrkinbrek put on it." Severus and Jennifer turned to him, both looking at him with annoyance.
"What makes you think she was talking about you?" Severus scowled at him.
"Because I'm the only one with a birthday left," Corey grinned, taking the train from Aurelius and putting it back on the mantle again. Severus and Jennifer looked at each other.
"Is it just me, or have our children lately been making unbelievably strong efforts to outwit us?" Severus mused.
"Would you believe I think they're winning?" Jennifer said, grinning weakly.
"Well, they do outnumber us, you know. And we all know whose idea that was," Severus said, smiling thinly at her as he started up the stairs.
"Yours!" Jennifer shouted after him.
"Looked in a mirror lately?" Severus asked tauntingly.
"Have you looked at the old schedules lately?" Jennifer inquired flirtatiously back, following behind him.
"And who followed them?"
"But who wrote them?"
"Yes, but who inspired them?" Severus said, pulling her away from the top of the stairs to corner her. "Come now, you can hardly believe that I even considered this sort of life for myself before I became entangled with you."
"Entangled? Does that mean you feel trapped?" Jennifer asked in a low voice.
"Actually I was going for a more visual meaning rather than a verbal one," Severus said slyly. "I have no regrets over my life since we were married, Jennifer. Do you?" he asked seriously.
"Not in the slightest," Jennifer smiled, kissing him gently. Someone cleared his throat behind them.
"Sorry Mom, Dad, but Aurelius has somehow managed to magically glue the train to his hand and I can't get it off," Corey said. "Nanna Tigge won't help; she thinks we should leave it there until he learns his lesson."
"I'm coming," Jennifer sighed, shaking her head. "That one is definitely your son," she declared.
"Funny, I could have sworn you were present at the time he was born," Severus said glibly, standing in the doorway. "Of course, I'll have to check my journal to know for sure." Severus quickly shut it just as the wand blast came out, a wave of marshmallow hitting where he had been standing a moment before.
Jennifer came out of the corridor with a smile on her face, welcoming the next wave of memories and the aches and pains of parenting that had gone with them. It had not been a smooth journey to get where she was, she knew, but how could she regret it?
As she walked through a long sloping cavern, she found herself mulling over what she had been through the last few months, and most recently the look on Aurelius' face that day. What was she going to do? Jennifer sighed softly, feeling as helpless as she had when she had gone in. All these memories, hopes, dreams, pains, fears, joy, love, and still she hadn't the faintest idea on how to ease Aurelius' growing doubt in himself and others.
She turned the last corner and a light up ahead, but not before passing another dark, very short dead end. She didn't have to go in to see what the memory was. It hit her with a force all its own without even trying, and she nodded to herself even as a new pain began to form around her from seeing that last vision. Turning her back to it at last, she focused on the light, and as she came closer broke into a run, for she knew now she was ready.
As she burst out into the light, she suddenly found that she was not running at all but merely standing in the Grove, the people around her looking as startled as she was when she appeared.
Severus, who had been talking to Dumbledore, looked over at her with an expression of intense anxiety and fear, laced with hope. Beside him, Alex, Andrew, Alicia, and Corey watched her with thoughtful but wary expressions.
"Jennifer?" Severus murmured, but Jennifer held up her hand, turning then to where Aurelius stood near Pali, well apart from the rest of them. Aurelius was watching her with the same wariness but something else that Jennifer was painfully aware she couldn't identify, his gift of privacy protecting him as strongly as ever.
It was Pali she turned to first, not attempting to come closer in any way, instead sinking into a deep curtsy. Pali then stamped and nodded, rearing up and letting out a loud whinny that was answered by the others, all rearing up in response before turning around and heading to the forest. It was then that Pali turned as well despite Aurelius' pleas for him to stop, leaving him to stand there helplessly as they left.
"Now that is one impressive Unicorn," Jennifer said, Aurelius looking at her unsurely. "Not only that, the leader of the herd, too. I admit I'm rather envious. It's a part of my life I can never return to now, but I do remember what it's like, and that I have you to thank for it."
"Mum?" Aurelius said cautiously.
"And to prove how grateful I am, I shall make you a promise that no matter how out of control your mouth gets… despite the fact that I seriously think you owe your father one heck of an apology and some hard labor for that last one… I promise you that I'll never make you eat mud again," Jennifer said quietly. A look of relief crossed his face then and he hugged her, and gently she lead him back to the others still watching them with intense looks on their faces.
"Goodness, what are all of you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a woman who's not a Truth Seeker before?" she asked, giving Dumbledore a sideways glance who blinked in surprise then began to smile. "I think I'd be more surprised to learn that Oliver Twist is a musketeer, Robin Hood is actually a girl, pictures of painted diamonds lead to psychotic killers and kitchen ice boxes have a tendency to empty themselves with no culprits in sight. Oh, and one other small thing, that it's possible to…" Jennifer suddenly pulled Severus down by the arm, whispering in his ear. He jerked his head back then to stare at her.
"You remember that?" he asked softly. She grinned at him then, nodding fervently.
"I remember it all!" Jennifer said happily, hugging him tightly back as she found herself surrounded, taking turns hugging the rest of them in turn, tears streaming down her cheeks all the while. Questions were thrown about her about what happened but she was almost too overwhelmed to actually answer, merely reassuring them that she really did remember by recounting comical instances in attempts to keep everything as light as possible.
"So if you remember everything, do you remember who did this to you?" Alex said after a few moments, asking the question that adults had not yet dared to ask.
As Jennifer's thoughts grew distant her face suddenly fell, a look of crushed disappointment appearing on her face as she remembered the last corridor she had looked down at the very end.
"Stars, not another former student," she murmured more to herself than anyone else, grief spreading through her at the thought. "Why? Why would anyone do something like this?"
"Jennifer, who was it?" Severus asked again, growing more concerned by the minute.
"It was Amadeus. Amadeus Longbottom," Jennifer said softly.
Corey stood straight up, a look of pure fury crossing his face at the thought of his old school enemy's name being spoken in that moment. But as he turned to leave, Severus was a step quicker, stopping him in his tracks with two firm hands on his shoulders.
"Where do you think you're going?" Severus asked in a low voice.
"Where do you think? I'm going to kill that ruddy bastard!" Corey whispered back.
"Oh, no, you're not. You're staying right here where I can keep my eye on you," Severus said.
"Dad, what the hell's the matter with you? Don't you want him to pay for this? He's been a thorn in my backside ever since I met him!" Corey snarled.
"Beware vengeance, for it awakens the dragon within," Severus reminded him. "I want him to pay the price, not you nor anyone else in this family," he said firmly.
"It's going to come down to his word against hers, Dad," Corey said.
"Not necessarily," he replied, leaving Corey to wonder to what Severus was thinking after he turned his attention back to Jennifer. "Aurelius, if you don't mind, I'd prefer if you put that name under the Pact for now," he advised.
"I think that is a wise idea," Dumbledore agreed. "But if you don't mind me asking, does Jennifer's recovery mean that we should cancel the plans for the vow renewal tomorrow?"
Severus gazed at Jennifer thoughtfully, only meeting a private, mysterious smile in return.
"Not at all," Severus said at last.
"Unless any of the children object," Jennifer amended, gazing at them questioningly.
"What, and miss another free trip to Hogsmeade? Not me," Andrew said cheerfully.
"I wasn't really against the idea," Alex said, "Not really."
"Of course it's all right, how silly to ask," Alicia said.
"I've already had my old robe resized, I might as well use it," Corey said. They all glanced at Aurelius then, who shrugged noncommittally.
"Do whatever you want to, Mum," he said, refusing to look in his father's direction. Jennifer and Severus exchanged glances again.
"Thank you, Aurelius," Severus said solemnly.
"Well, since we have a busy day tomorrow, I think perhaps we should all be seeing to dinner and turning in early!" Dumbledore said cheerfully. "If it's all right, I think I may run ahead, so that I may inform Minerva of the good news," he said.
"Sure, I can take Alicia back," Corey agreed. Severus relaxed, knowing he wasn't likely to get into much trouble with Alicia in his charge. He nodded to Corey while Alicia ran to get another hug from her mother.
"Do you suppose this means the paintings work again?" Alicia asked.
"I don't know. How about we try it during our visit next week?" Jennifer said. Alicia then hugged her father and her siblings before walking off with Corey.
"I suppose we should be heading back then," Severus said at last. "Aurelius, you seem to know the forest well now, why don't you three lead the way?"
Aurelius nodded silently, turning into the forest so quickly that his other two siblings had to almost jog to keep up.
"That was great, Aurelius, I can't believe you actually pulled that off," Alex said warmly. He shrugged.
"Pali did it actually," he said. "I'm just his rider."
"Just his rider, as if everyone rides a Unicorn every day," Andrew said. "You're a true hero! I bet Slytherin wins the cup for sure now," he said. Aurelius smiled thinly at that.
"As if there were any doubt," Aurelius said in his usual brass tone. Andrew couldn't help but look over his head at Alex, sharing a secret smile of relief.
Behind them, Jennifer was busy recounting to Severus what had happened, while he listened intently as if hanging on every word.
"I have so much I want to talk to you about now," she said when she finally finished, holding onto his arm while they walked. "I mean about things that happened when I didn't remember… oh, but then I never really forgot you."
"Oh, come now," Severus said, glancing dubiously at her before turning his attention back to the three in front of him making sure they were in plain sight. "Admit it, you didn't even know me at all when I walked in that door."
"That's not completely true," Jennifer said. "The moment you walked in I knew there was something about you, something there that was never there with Mark," she said, rolling her eyes at that. "Even that, I think, proves it. It's like I told you once, Severus. The mind may forget, but the heart does not. And my heart didn't forget, Severus, not for one instant, I'm sure of that."
Severus looked over at her, gently putting an arm around her.
"All the same, it is good to have you back again," he said quietly.
"Back?" Jennifer repeated, shaking her head with a smile. "I am whole again, whole in ways that I haven't been since Keki died. But I'll never be the way I was before this, not after everything that's happened. And you… you've changed too, I see it now. You've changed just as much as I have."
"Perhaps in some ways," Severus admitted. "And although I regret the suffering that the children and others had to go through because of this, I do not regret changes that we've gone through because of it."
"Yes, Severus, I know exactly what you mean," Jennifer said softly. "I'll always miss the time I had to spend apart from my family not knowing what I had lost, and yet I certainly don't regret what I've gained. There's something rather comforting in knowing that if you and I had been born Muggle, or one of us had, that there still would have been some hope for us. And I certainly don't regret falling in love with you all over again. In fact, I think there's only one thing about the situation I do regret."
"Oh?" Severus asked quietly, looking over at her with curiosity.
"I think you should have taken Jacqueline's offer when she gave it to you," Jennifer said with a wicked smile. "Mycroft definitely missed out on that opportunity."
Severus couldn't help but stare at her in surprise, trying to make sure she was completely serious before he attempted to answer that.
"Does that mean then it's too late?" he asked in a low voice. Jennifer turned and smiled beguilingly at him.
"I don't know, Professor, is it?" she inquired back, then decided to catch up with the children, leaving him to stare after her and wonder for a bit. One thing was definitely certain, however. He had every intention of finding out.