Disclaimer: Suffice to say I would not be writing this if I actually owned these characters.
Author's Notes: As I said in the last chapter, just so we're clear on this, the following did not happen for the purposes of this story:
-The teaser of Afterboom
-The scene with Shel in Luke Can See Her Face
-Luke inviting Lorelai to the wedding (as much as I loved all their wedding scenes!)
-Anything from Last Week Fights, This Week Tights and Raincoats and Recipes involving Luke and Lorelai dating or kissing
Everything else happened like it did on the show.
Here's where the story starts to move forward and the L/L action begins. Enjoy.
Chapter 4
Seeing Fireworks
It was good what we did yesterday
And I'd do it once again
The fact that you are married
Only proves you're my best friend
But it's truly, truly a sin
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
Linger on, your pale blue eyes
The test run at the Dragonfly had, for the most part, been a great success. There was the whole Kirk-running-naked-through-the-square thing, but that hadn't had anything to do with the quality of service at the inn. And apparently there was some kind of crisis with the cooking staff—Michel had scared a bunch of people off and now Sookie needed to find new people or something like that. And then there was the whole thing with Lorelai's parents— Luke wasn't quite sure what that was about. But generally, everyone left happy the next morning. So why was Lorelai trying her best to hide that weary, depressed, about-to-break-down look in her eyes that she'd had that night in the park? It was subtle, but it was there. Luke wasn't sure if anyone else noticed it, but he certainly did. So after everyone else left, he stayed behind to talk to Lorelai.
"Are you okay?" he asked her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she murmured, not looking at him.
"No, you're not," he argued gently.
She glanced at him, letting the tears in her eyes go. "No. You're right, I'm not," she said, and with a sniffle, walked back inside and sat on the couch in the Dragonfly lobby.
He followed her in and laid a hand on her shoulder. "You want to talk about it?" he asked.
She closed her eyes. "Oh, God, everything's such a mess," she said. "The Dragonfly is the one thing that's going right, but everything else is so screwed up."
"What is it?" he said. "What's wrong?"
"Where do I even start?" she said. She opened her eyes and sighed. "Did you see that guy who was here before? Brown hair and a beard?"
"Yeah…" said Luke cautiously, knowing exactly to whom she was referring.
"Yeah, well, his name is Jason Stiles. He was my boyfriend. Was being the operative word. Dated for five months, broke up a few weeks ago. And you know why?"
Luke felt a small glimmer of relief upon hearing that she wasn't dating that guy anymore, but it was immediately followed by guilt. She was upset, and this was no time to be selfish. "Why?"
"He was my father's business partner," she said. "He was until his father, who was one of the partners at the insurance firm my dad used to work at, decided both to sue my father—for some totally bogus reason, I think—and to unceremoniously announce to my parents that Jason and I were dating, which they didn't know. And then the next thing I know, my father has decided to go back to his old company and leave Jason with nothing." She shook her head as if she was still trying to make sense out of everything. "I can't believe it. I mean, my father is a very business-oriented…materialistic guy, but he's not cruel. I never thought he would do this. And when I went to talk to him about it, he just chewed me out. He said I didn't care about our family, just about my boyfriend, and he never expected me to act any differently. And that hurt." A tear slipped down her cheek. "So then Jason tells me that he's suing my father. Which he has every right to do, but…my family is more important to me than Jason ever was. I never loved him. Hell, I mean, the only reason I went out with him in the first place was to piss off my mother. How old am I, sixteen?" She rolled her eyes. "So I broke up with Jason, and I have no intention of getting back with him. But apparently he thinks otherwise, and he just showed up here uninvited tonight. And of course my parents had to see him when they came in before they left..." She swallowed hard. "And that's a whole other thing. My parents. They're separated and I knew it and apparently they knew I knew it. But I thought…oh, I don't know what I thought. If I got them here together tonight somehow it would help…but it didn't. Now they're just mad at me and they're mad at each other and I don't know what's wrong…if it's the whole lawsuit thing or what. But they're separated, and when I was a kid I used to think I wanted that, but now…God, I'd give anything for this not to be happening."
Finding no words that could possibly comfort her, Luke settled for sitting down on the couch next to her and squeezing her hand. "I'm sorry," he said softly. After a long silence, he said, "Where's Rory?" Rory had been there the night before, but then she'd suddenly disappeared, and hadn't been back in the morning.
Lorelai closed her eyes again and pinched her forehead, as if she had a headache. "Rory. My God."
"Is she okay?"
"No," Lorelai said dully. "Honestly, she's not."
"What's wrong?" Luke asked, concerned.
She sighed. "Oh, Luke, I would tell you, I would, but believe me when I say Rory would really not want me to talk about it." She let out a bitter little half-laugh. "But don't worry. This is Stars Hollow, so I'm sure you'll find out eventually. Suffice to say she needs to be alone right now, so that's where she is. At home. Alone."
He ran his hand gently up and down Lorelai's back, a bit dizzy from all this new information. "Is there anything I can do? Anything…anything to help?"
She smiled sadly at him. "I wish there was. I really, really wish there was. That's very sweet, Luke, but I can't think of anything."
"Can I get you anything?" he asked desperately. "Coffee…food…anything?"
"Well," she said, "I'm not really hungry right now." She looked up. "But…coffee would be nice…please."
"Come with me," he said. She stood up, and the two of them headed for the diner.
----
Lorelai, unfortunately, was right. He did find out what had happened to Rory that night, in the worst possible way.
One afternoon, a few days later, Rory stopped by the diner for lunch while Lorelai was at work. She had barely settled down at the table with her coffee cup when a familiar-looking blonde girl stormed in and screamed, "Rory Gilmore!"
Rory stopped and looked up, her eyes fearful as all the diner's patrons turned their full attention to her. "Lindsay," she said faintly, and Luke realized that this girl must be Dean's wife.
"What the fuck was Dean doing at your house just now?!" Lindsay's face was red and her eyes were pinched.
Rory turned pale. "You…saw?"
"Yes, I saw, and you didn't answer my question! What the fuck was he doing there?"
"He, um…he just came to borrow something." Rory was a terrible liar, and it wasn't just because of how well he knew her that Luke was able to tell that she was just then.
"Borrow something? You mean like his wedding ring? He didn't have it when he went into your house but he had it when he left. Now, can you explain that to me?"
Rory was starting to breathe hard. "He…he left it at my house a few days ago…he came to borrow something during the Dragonfly test run…"
"Borrow what? You can't use that excuse every time! What the fuck was he borrowing?"
"He, um…he thought I had this CD…but I didn't."
"And he just happened to take his ring off while he was asking you about a CD?!" Lindsay was shrieking by then and looked like little pieces of her were going to go exploding all over the diner.
Rory's face was turning red. "Just…for a second," she managed.
"You stay away from my husband, you little bitch!" Lindsay screamed, and stormed out.
Rory just sat there for a minute, staring into her coffee cup. Then she got up and ran out. Luke could see the tears starting to make their way out of her eyes.
Lorelai came in late that night, after everyone had left, and Luke could see in her eyes that, probably like most of the town, she knew what had happened there that day, and that what everyone thought it meant was probably true. She didn't need to say a word. With one look at her, Luke said simply, "One large cup of coffee coming up."
His eyes met hers when he gave her the cup of coffee. She kept looking at him as she drank it, silently. Their eyes stayed locked for a minute after she finished. Then she opened her purse, paid for the coffee, and got up to leave.
"Thank you for listening," she said quietly before she walked out the door.
----
Luke didn't want to think about it, so most of the time he didn't. But sometimes he couldn't help it. Rory, the sweet, intelligent little girl he'd known for most of her life, had had an affair with a married man. He knew her well enough to know that while she was extremely smart, she was equally naïve, and Dean had probably had a lot to do with the choice they both had made. Dean hadn't come into the diner since the day Lindsay had screamed at Rory, and that was a smart move on his part, because Luke was angry enough at him to make wrestling with him outside the diner look like reasonable behavior. But he was disappointed in Rory, too. No matter what Dean had said to her, she did know better than that. And no matter how much of a bitch that Lindsay girl was, or how bad her marriage to Dean was, it was awful to be cheated on. Luke knew this from experience. In this situation, Lindsay was Luke, Dean was Nicole, and Rory…she was the sock man.
He did his best to act normal and not to show his disappointment whenever Rory came into the diner. Rory had been punished enough, what with the town of Stars Hollow all talking about her and Dean completely avoiding her. But it was hard not to feel for her when she was walking all over town, her eyes cast downward, trying to avoid people's gaze. Luke remembered the night of Dean's bachelor party and felt guilty. He'd only been trying to protect Rory, but maybe he shouldn't have let Dean go through with the wedding. What had actually happened had probably hurt Rory more. She might as well be walking around with a scarlet letter.
"Rory's going to Europe with my mother," Lorelai told him one night in June as he poured her some coffee.
He raised his eyebrows. "How long?"
"The rest of the summer. Back for a few weeks in August."
"What happened to the summer job?"
"She said swiping cards for another year isn't the end of the world." Lorelai sighed. "But she'll miss her father's wedding."
Luke looked at her in surprise. "Her father's getting married?"
"Yeah, July 2nd. He's been engaged for about two years now. I pointed out to her that she'd miss the wedding, and she just said, 'So what, he missed my graduation.' Couldn't really argue with that."
"Oh, boy," Luke sighed. It was almost closing time, so he went to get a broom.
"I am going to the wedding, though," Lorelai said. She exhaled. "That's going to be weird."
"Why?" he asked, starting to sweep the floor.
"Well," she said with a sigh. "He's Chris, you know? My first serious boyfriend when I was a teenager. We were so much alike…we had the same taste in music, came from the same kind of family, we both snuck out our windows every night because we couldn't stand to be under the same roof as our parents. So many things about him that made us alike…I thought that meant we were supposed to be together. But then I had Rory." She gave a sad little smile. "I knew him well enough to know that he wouldn't be able to grow up fast enough to be a husband and a father. I mean, he had already been saying he wouldn't be able to make it through college. We couldn't be a family just then. He thought we could, but…I knew." She shook her head. "And all these years…I dated other guys, but I always found myself comparing them to Christopher. I always had this…hope that he could get things together and we could be the family we were always meant to be." She let out a long breath. "But he finally does get it together, and it's not because of his daughter, not because of his first love—it's because of some woman named Sherry who thinks green is the new pink and schedules her C-section so it doesn't interfere with her plans. And now he has another daughter, and he'll be there for her first words and her first steps and when she's valedictorian of her high school." She laughed shortly. "Although, that last one's probably not too likely considering half her genes are Sherry's. But anyway." She sighed again. Luke concentrated on sweeping as she continued.
"But I thought I was over him, you know? When I was dating Jason, I never once thought to compare him to Christopher. And that had nothing to do with Jason." She rolled her eyes. "God, I was nowhere near in love with Jason. But…you know, I thought I was okay with the idea of Christopher getting married. I thought I was completely over him, but…now that the day's getting closer, I'm just getting kind of weirded out by it. I mean, maybe it sounds selfish, but…a part of me just keeps thinking, That's supposed to be me up there! Next to him in the long white dress and the veil…it's just like, something is not right here."
Luke gritted his teeth, gripped the broom handle, and swept crumbs vigorously off the floor. No! he thought. Something is not right here! You are not supposed to be so hung up on a man who impregnated you and then was off doing God-knows-what while your daughter was growing up! Why the hell are you still in love with someone who has never been there for you? Has there ever been a time in the years we've been friends that I haven't been there for you? Or for Rory? You think there's anything you need that I wouldn't give to you? You think there's anyone in the world who would treat you better than I would? You think I wouldn't make the best damn husband you could ever ask for? Why the hell can you never think of me that way? Is it because of him? Is it because of that cad who does nothing but abandon you when you need him? Damn it, Lorelai, what is wrong with you? Or maybe I should be asking what's wrong with me? What is so wrong with me when you'd date anyone in the world except your friend who really loves you?
Lorelai noticed how he was sweeping as if he had some kind of vendetta against the floor, and asked warily, "You okay?"
Luke stopped sweeping and caught his breath. "Yeah." He cleared his throat. "Yeah, I'm fine."
Lorelai had a strange look on her face. "Okay," she said, paying for her coffee. "As long as you're sure."
She must have sensed his reaction to Christopher, because during her subsequent visits to the diner, which became more and more frequent after Rory left for Europe, she never mentioned him. But she did mention lots of other things that were going on in her life. One day, after Rory had been gone for about a week, Lorelai came in and said quietly, "I miss her."
"Rory?"
"No, the latest woman to leave The View. Yes, Rory," she said with an eye-roll. "Not that I would miss whatever-her-name-was. I like that girl who used to be on Survivor."
"Rory was gone at college all year," Luke pointed out gently.
"Yes, but she was close enough to be able to come home whenever she wanted to, and to call whenever she wanted. Now she's all the way across the ocean, and the roaming charges on her phone are probably quite frightening, so she doesn't call much. Besides, I was so busy this year, with the Dragonfly and everything…I barely had time to miss her. But now it's summer, and I've got my routine down with the Dragonfly, and…I wake up to an empty house, and it's so strange. Especially since she's with my mother, and I wasn't on the best of terms with Rory or my mother when they left."
"Maybe they'll have time to…think about stuff when they're away from home," Luke suggested, pushing her the coffee cup. "They'll come back…calmer, ready to deal with things, you know?"
"Maybe," Lorelai murmured, taking a sip.
She was there every day, and she talked about anything—Rory, her parents, the Dragonfly. Christopher was the one thing she quite noticeably avoided talking about. While it was nice that she was being sensitive to what Luke thought, it also kind of made him nuts. She wasn't telling him what she was feeling about Christopher, but he was dying to know what she was feeling.
By July 2nd, it had been so long since she'd mentioned him that it took Luke a minute to remember why Lorelai wasn't at the diner that day. Then he remembered: Christopher's wedding.
Damn it. Luke was in a bad mood all that day, and he was sure his customers noticed. But he couldn't exactly explain it to anyone. Couldn't tell people that as they were there drinking their coffee and eating their burgers, the woman he'd loved for years was rediscovering her own love for a man who consistently disappointed her. And, Luke realized later, he was more concerned about what that would mean for Lorelai than what it would mean for him.
The next evening was the eve of Independence Day. In Stars Hollow, Fourth of July celebrations actually started the night before. On July 3rd, there was a large block party, with all sorts of booths selling food and various merchandise, plus games, performances, art shows, and hot air balloon rides. When all of that was over, there were fireworks, and the next day there was a parade.
Luke was already in a bad mood, thinking about Lorelai and the wedding, and definitely was not in the mood to mingle among the happy townies. He stood in his diner, cleaning the counter and sorting through his bills, when suddenly there came a knock on his door. He was about to say, "We're closed," when he looked up and saw that it was Lorelai.
He started, stood there for a second, and then went to open the door. "Hey," he said, more awkwardly than he normally would have.
"Hey!" she said brightly, and smiled. It was the smile he loved the most about her—the dreamy, girlish one she wore whenever it snowed, or whenever she was taking pleasure in something little that most people passed by without a second thought. "I love the Fourth of July," she said. "All the fireworks, the booths, Kirk in the dunk tank…" She wiggled her eyebrows mischievously. "Come with me! It'll be fun."
Luke hesitated for a moment. "Sure," he said finally. "Why the hell not?"
Outside, people were swarming the streets. Patty's youngest dance students were scampering off the makeshift stage in the town square. Taylor, acting as emcee, announced, "That concludes the dancing portion of this evening's performances. Next, the Stars Hollow majorettes will demonstrate their skills with batons, flags, and rifles, which," he quickly added, "I assure you are made for the sole purpose of being twirled and pose no danger whatsoever. This is sure to be a wonderful show with plenty of thrills, and I'm told it even includes fire batons. This will be a first in Stars Hollow, and we have taken all necessary precautions. The grass is being watered down as we speak, and Fire Chief Newman is standing by with the fire blankets…"
"Let's get something to eat," Lorelai said.
"I'll pass," he said. "I'll…I'll wait for you."
"Okay," said Lorelai, and stood in line for food. Near them, in the dunk tank, Kirk fell as a ten-year-old boy hit the right spot with the ball. "All right, that's enough!" a wet Kirk yelled angrily. "There's a three-in-a-row limit on how many times you can play, Billy!"
"There's no rule that says that," Billy protested.
"When you dunk someone three times in a row there is."
Lorelai returned, holding a large, pink cotton candy on a stick. She and Luke continued walking, silently. Finally, Lorelai said, "What, no lecture?"
Luke looked up. "Huh?"
"Cotton candy? Pink fluffy death? Might as well yank all my teeth out of my head and save myself the trouble of rotting them?"
"Oh— yeah," Luke said awkwardly. "Yeah…you, uh, shouldn't eat that."
Lorelai frowned at him. "Something wrong?" she said.
"No…no, I'm fine," Luke replied. He was still thinking of the wedding. Why did Lorelai look so happy? Had she and Christopher kissed, or worse? Had the wedding even happened?
"I went to see my father on Thursday night," she said. "Before I left for Boston. Friday night dinners haven't been happening lately, and…I don't know, I haven't talked to him, like really talked to him, in a long time."
"How'd it go?" he asked.
"It was nice, actually," she said. "Surprisingly so. We talked, and…he misses my mother." She swallowed a bite of cotton candy. "He said that all these years, he's been trying to do what he thought was the right thing for his family. And in his mind, that meant making the most money. So we could have a nice house, servants, foreign vacations…he thought that was what would make us happy. But somewhere in the middle of that, I think…he just kind of forgot who his wife and daughter actually were. He didn't notice that my mother was losing herself, that her life had no purpose but to arrange these parties and keep the house running just for him. And he didn't notice that his daughter was suffocating, that the kind of life he was providing for me wasn't letting me be me." She smiled sadly. "He said he was glad he'd finally gotten me back, and that he'd give up everything, everything, if he could just have my mother back."
The two of them kept walking, and Lorelai continued. "At least it looks like this whole lawsuit drama will be over soon," she said. "My father talked with Jason, and he's going to see if he can talk his company into hiring Jason back. At least for a little while, until Jason decides to start his own company someplace else. And if they won't take Jason…well, Dad says he hasn't felt right working at that company since he came back, considering the circumstances. Work is a good way to occupy him, but he says retirement wouldn't kill him. It didn't work when he retired before, but he thinks maybe now it will. And we have the money from my grandmother's estate, so that will help with things, I guess…" Lorelai shook her head. "I don't know. I was just glad to be able to talk with him again without fighting." She stopped to throw her cotton candy stick into a barrel. "I keep remembering what he told me," she continued, "after my grandmother died. The last time he'd talked to her, they had a fight, and when she died, he told me not to forget that I only had one set of parents, because he'd forgotten, and now he had to live with it."
"I'm…I'm glad you talked with him," said Luke. He was confused. He knew the situation, and knew that the talk with her father was a huge thing indeed, but…it couldn't be the only thing making her so happy, could it? It wasn't the only thing that had happened to her that weekend.
"Oh, look!" said Lorelai, pointing at a booth. "Is that punch? Are they using the stuff left over from Founder's Day?"
"Most likely."
"Ah! Well, I'll get a cup for each of us, then."
While she was paying for it, she glanced over at the hot air balloon. "Wow, I remember going up in that thing the first year I lived in Stars Hollow. I was so disappointed when I found out it was chained to the ground and wouldn't go higher than ten feet. How useless is that? I thought I'd have a bird's eye view of the town, but instead I was just thinking, 'Oh, look! Taylor's bald spot.' 'Gee whiz! A bird crapped on top of the gazebo.'"
The two of them took their punch and settled down on a park bench. Luke looked at her, and before he could stop himself, he blurted out, "So how was the wedding?"
She looked at him in surprise. "It was…very nice," she said, smiling in bewilderment. "Really nice, actually. The reception was at this really fancy hotel in Boston, so I think Chris's parents had a lot to do with planning it. Of course, Straub and Francine pretended they didn't know me." She laughed ruefully. "Ah, well, screw them. Chris and Sherry's little daughter was the flower girl. And she's only a year and a half old, so she just dumped the flowers, turned and ran the other way. Very much her father's daughter, that one."
"So, you, uh…" Luke swallowed hard. "You had fun?"
"I did, actually," she said. "Christopher and I had a nice talk before the wedding."
Luke cleared his throat. "Oh! Uh…you did?"
"Yeah," she said, looking away from him. She laughed once. "It was kind of funny."
"Funny? Funny…how?"
"Well, Chris started talking to me, telling me how he was so glad I could come, and that he was sorry how things had happened, that it hadn't been able to work out with the two of us," she said. "And it was so strange. It was like a big poof of movie fairy dust or something. I realized…"
Luke leaned forward, feeling his heart pushing at his shirt. "What?" he asked, trying to control his voice. "You realized what?"
"That I'm not sorry things didn't work out with us," she said softly.
Luke blinked. "What?"
"Christopher is a great person," she said. "He was my first love, and we shared a lot of great moments. But I can't believe it took me this long to realize it. First loves are totally overrated." She paused. "I was in love with the Christopher who was perfect for me in high school," she said. "Not the Christopher who exists right now. There's a big difference between those two things, and I can't believe it took me this long to see it."
Luke's heartbeat slowed. "So, you're…you're not in love with him anymore."
"No," she whispered. "I haven't been for a long time. I just didn't realize it until last night. Apparently, the Gilmore girls have trouble letting go of their first loves."
Luke felt like he could faint with relief. Instead, he just sat up straighter and said, "Well, good. That's…"
Lorelai looked at him strangely. "It's good that I'm not in love?"
"Well, no, I mean, being in love in general is a good thing, but, you know, if someone like you is in love, I guess it should just be with…"
She raised her eyebrows. "With who, Luke? Be with who?'
"Don't you mean whom?" he stalled, his face reddening.
"Okay, wow. We know who's been watching his Schoolhouse Rock video," she said. "So, with whom should I be in love?"
"I don't know," he mumbled. "I guess just with someone…better."
"Define 'better.'"
"Well, someone…" He stopped. "Someone who's there for you…and will help you when you need it…and take care of you…I mean, not that you need to be taken care of, but…ah, you know what I mean."
She was looking at him seriously, her eyes unblinking, so he stumbled his way through the end of the thought. "You should be in love with someone who…knows what an amazing…what a great person you are…and won't do anything that would ever mean…losing you."
He thought he could see tears shining in her eyes. "Luke," she breathed, and leaned her head in towards her. He started to move his head close to hers.
And then, all of a sudden, people were screaming and running around behind them. Luke pulled back, dazed by what had just almost happened. "Wha—what was that?" he asked.
Lorelai turned and looked. "Oh, the fire baton just went flying into the dunk tank," she said. "After Kirk climbed out and stormed off in protest when Billy dunked him again." She glanced at her watch. "Hey," she said. "The fireworks start in about ten minutes."
The commotion was all over by the dunk tank, so no one was looking at them, but at the moment, Luke felt very conspicuous. "How about we go somewhere else and watch them?" he said. "I know a place. Come with me."
He led her to the bridge over the lake, the one he'd pushed Jess off of right after he'd arrived in Stars Hollow. The two of them sat down on it and let their legs dangle over the edge. "This is beautiful," Lorelai said, looking around. "And quiet."
"Just wait," Luke said. "In a few minutes, it'll be our own private fireworks show."
Lorelai smiled. "Rory and I used to watch the fireworks for the ones in our favorite colors," she said. "We'd bring glowsticks, and we weren't allowed to snap them until there'd been at least one in our favorite color." She turned to him. "What's your favorite color?"
Luke shrugged. "I don't know…blue, I guess."
"Blue? Way to be original."
"How is that unoriginal? It's the color I like," he said defensively.
"Yeah, you and eighty percent of all Americans. I read that somewhere."
He rolled his eyes. "And what's your oh-so-original favorite color?"
"Orange." She grinned. "Little bit of teenage rebellion I held onto."
"Liking orange is teenage rebellion?"
"It totally doesn't go with my skin tone," she said, "and it's the most hideous color possible for a car in a rich neighborhood like my parents'. So, of course, I was planning on painting the car I got for my sixteenth birthday bright orange. But then I got pregnant, so that killed the orange car dream."
"You didn't paint the Jeep orange," he pointed out.
"No," she said. "Stars Hollow is colorful enough already."
The fireworks show started with a few small bursts of color.
"All right!" said Lorelai. She raised her cup of punch. "Here's to the Fourth of July and our own private fireworks show."
"Here, here," said Luke. They bumped their plastic cups together and drank the rest of the punch.
They looked up at the sky together. A ring of blue lit up the sky at the same time another ring of orange intersected it.
Luke turned his head toward her. She turned hers toward him. And, before they knew it, their lips were touching. Luke thrilled. His breath caught in his throat as his hand found the back of her head and stroked it. The other arm wrapped itself around her body. Luke had dreamed of this moment so many times, but this was too real to be a dream.
And then, reality hit him all at once, and he pulled away.
"What?" asked Lorelai. "What's wrong?"
"We can't do this, Lorelai," he said, his voice low. "I'm still technically married to Nicole."
Lorelai looked shocked. "But…you're getting divorced!"
"We're getting divorced. But we're not divorced yet."
"Well, so what?" she said. "You have no plans to get back together with her. And she cheated on you when you weren't getting divorced, so obviously she doesn't respect your marriage."
"That's just it, Lorelai!" he said, standing up. "If I kiss you now, while I'm still married to her, that makes me no better than her! No better than…" He reddened as he realized whose name he had just almost said. "Sorry," he mumbled.
"No, no," Lorelai said quietly, standing up herself. "You're totally right." She brushed herself off.
"And anyway," he continued. "This is not how it's supposed to happen, if it does. There is a way you do this. We make plans, we date, we talk, and then it happens, when the setting is perfect."
"Um, excuse me?" She narrowed her eyes. "You think what happened just now wasn't perfect? Minus the you-being-married part?"
"I didn't say that," he mumbled.
"Luke, sometimes the most perfect things are the ones that are spontaneous! The things that just happen and it's not the setting you remember, just the thing itself!"
"Lorelai, how long have you known me? I am not exactly the king of spontaneity."
"Well, I'd say you definitely have the potential to be, considering you went on a cruise and got…" The look on her face said she realized she had almost brought up a sore subject. "Sorry," she said.
"Quite all right," he replied curtly. "So once my divorce is finalized, I can kiss you again, but it has to be spur-of-the-moment?"
"Luke," she said, her voice breaking, "don't read too much into that. It was a really good kiss, you know that? But part of what made it so good was that it just happened! It just happened and it felt right!"
"Even though it was wrong."
"But if the timing hadn't been wrong, it would have been right!"
He exhaled. "Yes," he admitted. "It would have been right."
They stood there looking at each other in silence. Finally, Luke said, "You like things spur-of-the-moment. I'll remember that for when we're both single again."
----
He had been concentrating on how the night ended—with his frustration at the slow process of divorce, with his anger at himself for being such a Boy Scout for a wife who'd done much worse by him, with his confusion about whether, perhaps, he had acted rightly after all. It was only later that night that what had happened earlier fully hit him.
I kissed Lorelai. He had made physical contact with Lorelai outside of his dreams. And Lorelai had loved it as much as he had. Once that sunk in, Luke was much happier. After all these years, all this hoping—was it possible that she felt the same way? That he could really have a future with this beautiful, lively, spirited woman whom he loved so much? All signs seemed to be pointing to "yes."
For the moment, though, things were a tad awkward between the two of them. She was still coming to the diner every day, but the conversation never went deeper than her witty little banters about tiny, inconsequential things. Neither one of them wanted to mention the kiss. It was as if they'd dreamed it, or as if they would jinx something by bringing it up.
Something else, though, started happening around that time, something Luke was grateful for later.
He was greeted one morning by his sister, who bounced into the diner with a huge smile on her face. She'd completed the Ren Faire circuit and was back in Stars Hollow with her husband. "T.J. and I are moving here," she said. "I mean, we'll be gone most of the time, on the circuit, but we just got such good vibes the last couple of times we were here."
Luke couldn't help laughing. "Liz, when you were a kid you would have done anything to get out of here! You took off right after your graduation."
"Well, times change, bro," she said. "People change. I've changed. And I think it's time for me to leave New York."
Luke shrugged. "Well, if you want to move back here, that's great."
Liz smiled. "Come with me if you get a chance," she said. "Take a look at the condo T.J. and I are buying."
Luke did come with her later that day, and stood looking at the place she was going to buy. It was a nice little townhouse in a cute condominium complex that had a pool and tennis courts.
"We really like this place," Liz said softly. "It'll be our little home sweet home, you know? I haven't had one of those since I was a kid."
Luke stood there, shaking his head absently. After all these years, it seemed like Liz had finally gotten her life together. If only she'd been able to do it while Jess was growing up.
"This looks like a great place to live, Liz," he said. "I'm glad you found it."
Liz smiled, and the two of them started walking back toward the diner. "It just took me longer than most people to find what I wanted," she said. "But now I have it and I've never been happier. I have a perfect job, perfect husband, pretty soon a perfect house…" Liz looked up at him. "What about you? You told her yet?"
Luke blinked. "What?"
"You know who I mean," said Liz, grabbing his arm. "Lorelai. You gave her those earrings, didn't you?"
Luke's silence said it all.
"I knew it!" exclaimed Liz. "You like her. And she likes you, too. I could tell by the way she talked about you."
"You and Lorelai talked about me?"
"She came up to me when I was in your truck. She thought I was you."
"Oh, yeah, I think she mentioned that."
"Anyway, I was talking about everything you've done for me over the years, and she agreed with everything I said about you. She said that you're one of the good ones—maybe even the good one." Liz looked at him pointedly.
"Oh, she did not say that."
"She did!" Liz nudged him. "She feels the same way about you that you feel about her. When are you going to do something about that?"
"When I finish getting divorced, Liz." That came out before he thought about it.
Liz's mouth dropped open. "So you are doing something about it!"
"Oh, Liz, don't make a big deal about it," he said irritably.
"But it is a big deal!" said Liz. "It happened to both of us the same year. I found my soul mate and then you found yours."
"Lorelai is not my soul mate."
Liz gave him a pointed look.
He exhaled. "Well, I don't know. Maybe she is," he conceded.
----
And then, just a few days after Liz and T.J. moved into that condo, he was divorced, finally. The papers were signed and everything was completed. Nicole Leahy was out of his life, permanently. But Lorelai Gilmore was in it. And he needed to do something about that.
Spontaneous, he thought. She likes things spontaneous.
That night he put a sign in the diner window that said "Closed for the Weekend," and drove to Lorelai's house. When she answered the door, he said, "You doing anything tonight?"
She furrowed her brow. "No…"
"I'm divorced now," he said. "Let's go to the beach."
Lorelai blinked. "What?"
"You said you liked things spontaneous," he said. "Well, how about a spontaneous trip to the beach? You like the beach, right?"
"Yes, I do…" she said, sounding bewildered. "I guess it's all right. Tomorrow's my day off."
"Great. Well, come with me."
"Well, hold on!" she said. "I need to pack some stuff. I assume you mean go to the beach overnight?"
"Um….yeah," he said. He suddenly realized he hadn't packed anything. "I'll, uh…wait here while you pack."
She was back in a few minutes with a bag. "So we're…off?" she said, still seeming taken aback by the whole thing.
"Yeah," he said. "But I need to stop by my apartment first."
----
Once they had gotten off the highway, Lorelai asked, "So you got a place for us to stay down here?"
"Uh…no," he replied. "I figured we'd find a place when we got here."
"Not this late, Luke! And not on a weekend in the summer! Do you know how many people are on vacation here now?"
"Oh, there's gotta be someplace. We'll find someplace."
But they couldn't. Every inn, motel, hotel, and B&B they passed had a "No Vacancy" sign out front. They kept driving down the same streets, wondering if the signs would change, but they never did.
Luke parked in the lot by the beach and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, trying to think. "Let's just go sit on the sand," he said finally. "That'll be fun."
Once they got down on the beach, though, it was cold, and when they sat down, the sand was rougher than Luke had expected, and the wind kept blowing it around. "So, I…" Lorelai began, and then had to close her eyes to shield them from the blowing sand.
Luke felt miserable. He'd intended for this to be a romantic night, and instead they were cold and being stung with flying sand. He'd finally gotten his chance with Lorelai, and he'd screwed it up. He didn't want to look up when the wind died down. But when he did, Lorelai was laughing.
"So you were planning on doing something spontaneous?" Her tone of voice was gentle, and he knew she wasn't making fun of him. He started to relax, and laughed himself.
"What can I say?" he replied. "Planned spontaneity is more my thing."
"Oh, Luke," she said, draping an arm around him. "Believe it or not, this was really sweet."
"Really?"
"But don't try so hard," she said. "Really. One of the greatest things about you is that you always know what to say or do, without trying. You just…make everything better by being you."
Luke looked at her, stunned.
Lorelai blushed and shrugged. "What can I say," she said. "I really meant that."
Luke felt a lump in his throat, and leaned forward to kiss her. She kissed him back, and then the wind started up again and drenched them both in sand.
"Okay," said Luke when they'd finished laughing. "Let's get the hell out of here." "Right," said Lorelai. "Dorothy's words have never been truer. Let's go home."
"Wait," said Luke. "I have another idea. That doesn't involve sand. Can you give me one last chance at planned spontaneity?"
"You promise it won't involve sandstorms or sub-zero winds or really sharp seashells digging into my ass?"
"I promise."
"All right, then."
They got back in the car and drove north to the mountains. When they got off the highway, Lorelai started to look uneasy. "You know, that can't-find-a-hotel-this-late thing is applicable anywhere, not just by the ocean."
"Oh, I know," he said. "I'm not taking you to a hotel. Bear with me here."
Lorelai looked out the window as they started to drive up the mountain. "Um, Luke?" she said. "This is a ski place, and, uh, if we were in Australia, I'd say, 'Let's hit the slopes, mate!'" She adopted an Australian accent for the end of her sentence. "But seeing as we're not…"
"Would you relax?" he said. "You'll see what I mean when we get there."
Finally, they parked at the top of the mountain. "This is where I go skiing sometimes," he said, not mentioning that the last time he'd gone it had been with Nicole. He nodded at all the cabins located on the mountaintop. "It's too late to get one of these tonight, but they're up for rent, and they're probably a lot less popular in the summer." He opened the door of his truck and got out. "Bring a sweater if you brought one," he said. "It might be chilly."
The two of them walked behind the cabins and up a little bit more of the mountain. Finally, they reached the top. There was the ski resort's chairlift, with one chair stopped right at the top of the hill, where one would normally get off the lift.
"Here," Luke said, gesturing to the chair. "Have a seat."
Lorelai looked surprised, but pleased. She sat down in the chair, and he sat next to her and looped his arm around her shoulder. The two of them gazed up at the stars, and at the moon, falcate like the arch of a fingernail, that beamed at them. "This is beautiful," Lorelai breathed.
"You should see it when there's snow."
"Thank you for taking me here, Luke." Lorelai snuggled closer to him. She looked into his eyes and let out a contented sigh. "I can't believe this moment has finally come," she said softly.
He looked at her in surprise. "You've wanted this, too?"
"Oh, for a long time," she said. "I just…kept trying to tell myself I didn't, I guess."
"Why?"
"Because…" She bit her lip. "It would mean having to admit that…"
"That what?"
She closed her eyes briefly, then continued. "That I need you," she said quietly. "For years I've defined myself by my independence, by my not needing anyone, but…I don't know what I'd do without you, Luke."
His breath caught in his throat. He could only manage to say, "You're…amazing," before he leaned in to share with her the world's most perfect kiss.
He sat there with her in his arms, dizzy from the euphoria of it all. He kept expecting to discover that this was all just a dream. "I almost can't remember not wanting this moment," he murmured.
"I don't want it to end, Luke," she whispered.
He stroked her hair with every bit of tenderness he felt before he whispered back, "It won't."
To be continued…
A/N: Thanks to everyone who's been sticking with this story. My town, by the way, really does have a celebration on July 3rd that's very similar to the one I described here. (My town's a lot bigger than Stars Hollow, though, so their version would probably be much more entertaining).
Lyrics by Lou Reed
And although I seriously doubt that any of you are reading this, props to the BC Acoustics, who did a lovely a cappella cover of "Pale Blue Eyes" at their spring café. (God, I'm like Pamie with her recaps, going on and on about my life. But hey, I guess the beauty of Gilmore Girls is that there is no one who could watch the show and not find something he relates to.)Chapter 5 hopefully coming soon.