THE CAH-RAZY STORY! (a.k.a. The Great Adventure)
by Vince, Livvy, and MAWY (Mary)
(scence opens, Mary and Ent standing around)
Ent: (stands... standing... standing...) This bores me.
Mary: Maybe we should have conversation.
Ent: Hmm... Oh, I got one! Ahem! So, remember that one thing at the place with that guy?
Mary: ... yeah. Ent, you're a failure. I'm going to find Livvy. (takes out cell phone) 1-800-Liv-Vyee...
Phone: Ring ring. Ring ring. One day the phones will rebel against you slave masters.
Mary: What? Phone: ...uh- Ring ring.
(Mary listens to the phone, answering machine picks up)
Livvy's Answering Machine Message: Hiya! I'm out kidnapping-- no, wait, you didn't hear that. I'm so NOT kidnapping anyone. Leave message! Beep!
Mary: Hmm... (hangs up phone) Ent: What? Mary: Her message said she was SO NOT kidnapping someone. Ent: Hmm... I wonder what she's doing then. Mary: (blank stare)
(outside Livvy's apartment... why does she live by herself in an apartment? Don't ask!)
Mary: (pounds door) Livvy! (screaming heard inside. some kind of fight goes on and a door slams)
Ent: Maybe she's not home.
Mary: Did you not hear the screaming?!
(Livvy opens the door slightly)
Livvy: Oh, hey guys.
Ent: Hey, can we come in?
Livvy: Certainly... (twitches)
(they enter. a nearby closet is padlocked. a familiar voice is heard screaming, "Crazy girl kidnapping me! No donuts! No donuts at all!")
Mary: That sounds a lot like -
Livvy: Mice! Yes! MICE! ONLY MICE!
Mary: Like... Like... Vash!
Vash (from within closet): Yes? Are you here to save me?
Mary: No... Livvy, why were you kidnapping people again?
Livvy: (starts crying) Oh! It was horrible!
Ent: Ooooh! Shiny! (playing with the lock on the door)
Mary: (drags Ent away from the door) Livvy... why did you kidnap him?
Livvy: Cheese... yes. Cheese. Do you want some cheese?
Ent: OOH! CHEESE!
Mary: No, we don't want cheese.
Ent: I want cheese.
Mary: No, you don't.
Ent: Okay.
Livvy: FINE! I SEE HOW IT IS! MY CHEESE ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU!
Mary: You're getting a little off topic, don't you think?
Livvy: (crying like crazy and stroking a block of "cheddah" cheese) I know, she's an evil, evil woman...
Vash: YOU'RE AN EVIL, EVIL WOMAN!
Livvy: (throws the "cheddah" at the closet door)
(all is silent)
Mary: Well...
Livvy: You just don't understand...
Vash: WHAT DO YOU MEAN?! You kidnapped me, threw me in a closet, padlocked the door, and you're telling me that I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND??!!
Ent: Wow! The closet's talking!
Mary: Um, Ent...?
Ent: Cornflakes?
Mary, Livvy, closet door: anime sweat drop and big completely white eyes
Livvy: Yeah... welll... (stands infront of the closet door, blocking it) YOU'LL NEVER TAKE HIM BACK!!! HE'S MINE NOW!!! thunder crack MWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Ent: Who is yours?
Mary: (slaps Ent) Don't worry, Livvy, we aren't here to take him away.
Livvy: You're not?
Mary: Of course not. Why miss this genuine opportunity to abuse a celebrity!?
Cristin: (falls out of chimney) That is my philosophy!
Ent: Cristin! Wait--- why are you here?
Cristin: Uh... 'cause.
Ent: Fair enough.
Mary: Wait--- this apartment has a chimney?
Livvy: No, I don't think so.
Mary: Then how--?
Cristin: Do not question the true meaning of the universe!
Ent: True meaning of the universe is a chimney?
Cristin: ...yes.
Vash: Uh--- guys? What are you going to do with me?
Livvy: First--- we cover you in "cheddah" and then we go on an adventure!
Vash: Uh... can we skip the first part?
Livvy: Fine. But, wait! If we cover you in "cheddah" you'd be yummy!
Mary: He's already yummy, I mean... uh... (desperately tries to change the subject and says the first thing that comes to mind) You know, I say we get some alcohol and skip the adventure! What better time to abuse the under-age drinking laws!
Livvy: Let's say we did and don't.
Vash: I'm all for a drink!
Cristin: The closet's talking...
Livvy: Uh... Cristin?
Cristin: Cornflakes?
Livvy: I say we... wait. Where's my cheese? (camera shows under a table where the cheese rolled after Livvy threw it at the door) ENT! YOU TOOK MY CHEESE!
Ent: Snickerdoodle?
Livvy: (ties Ent to a chair... kinky... then puts a spotlight on him) Now, we can do this the easy way or the hard way... (does that sound kinky to anyone?)
Mary: Uh... Livvy?
Livvy: WHAT COLOR IS MY UNDERWEAR?! (slaps Ent)
Ent: WHA--- Ouchies!
Mary: Livvy! You're looking for your cheese!
Livvy: Oh yeah... we'll get to stealing my underwear later, you pervert!
everyone, but Livvy, anime sweat drop
Vash: C'mon guys... lemme out!
Livvy: Under ONE condition: You come on an adventure with us.
Vash: ...
Livvy: There are donuts involved!
Vash: (in a flash, Vash [heh, that rhymed] breaks through the door and appears in the doorwar that leads out of the room) Last one on the adventure is a rotten egg! (runs to the car, laughing and screaming)
Whole room: (blinks)
(Later, when everyone is in the car [Mary driving])
Mary: All right, team! Listen up! (all of a sudden, all this covert operations equipment appears out of secret compartments in the car)
Vash: Whu---?
Mary: Vash... it is time for the truth! We have faked kidnapping you to ask for help. You see, some time ago, our friend, Senor Platypus, was taken hostage by the evil Frenchman Mistuh Pantz. We need your help!
Vash: (mouth open, drooling) Whu??
Mary: Anything could happen on this misson. Vash, you might die in just a HORRIBLE way--
Vash: (gulp)
Mary: --Ent, you will, and I mean WILL, be used as live bait.
Ent: (munches on Cornflakes)(opens mouth to speak, some munches cornflakes fall out) THEY'RE GRRREAT!
Mary: --And Livvy, Cristin and I might even break a nail (the three share a heroic silence) but that is a chance we are willing to take.
Ent and Vash: (try to run out of the car, but realize that their ankles are shackled to the car's floor)
Mary: MWUAHAHAHA!!! (drives off like mad)