A/N: Inspiration takes too long, so I'm just going to go ahead without it.

Thursday, December 1st

After School

I called a meeting at the coffeehouse. While we all sat around with our hamster to lips to prevent unsightly cream mustaches, I inspired the Ace Gang with my brilliance.

"I have figured out how to wear our berets. This way is really the best of all of the one's we've tried so far." I made them wait. There was a suspenseful moment before Jas ruined it by sipping at her coffee. Rosie hit her over the head for me.

"Aren't you listening? This is of the most fabbity-fab nature and importance!" I scolded. She snorted and said, "I am not wearing my gloves on my head again. We nearly got expelled last time. I don't think we should-"

"Jas, Jas, Jas. How many times must I tell you? Miss. Huge-knickers is just testing us, see? She wants to see how far our creativity will reach!" I admit I said the last word with a flourish and spilled Jules' drink. Oh well, all in the name of science. "Anyway, moving on. We use them as stockings!" There was silence. Obviously, they were all struck speechless by my genius. I plunged on.

"We use some tacks to stick them to the front of our desks. Every day we bring in little candies and toys and such and fill our berets." Looks of understanding brightened all but Jas's face. She is almost as thick as those cantaloupe skins she's always raving about. I sighed. The things I do for my friends....

"Jas? Jassy poo?" I pursed my lips as though I was drinking the coffee and held her face in my hands.

"Ah din git it," she replied through her squished cheeks. "Git ouf meh!"

I released her face and explained very slowly, keeping eye contact, "You." I pointed at her. "Take the beret." I mimed taking of the hat. "And pin it on your desk." I took the invisible beret and pinned it to the side of the table. By this time, the rest of the crew was not trying very hard to hide their laughter. Jas looked quite perturbed.

"I don't mean that!" She pouted. "I mean how does that help us with the wearing of them?"

"That's obvious, isn't it?" I pointed out. "We decorate them like Christmas stockings."

"Bril, Gee!" Rosie giggled, still laughing at Jas's expression. Ah, finally the credit I'm due.

Saturday, December 3rd

It has been decided that I do not have the proper lippy or spot concealer for any normal girl. After all, one runs through it rather quickly when one has two boys going after her. Either way, V won't give me even a pence, so I've decided to go after M. She's less of a stick-in-the-mud than dear father.

"What?"

"A wonderful way to start a conversation with your beloved daughter, Mutti."

"Look Georgia, I'm busy right now. If you could come back at another time, as I'm sure what you want is not so life threatening as you say it is."

"I need new make-up!" She didn't look convinced. "Oh, Mum, look at this spot! Right on my nose and all funny and red! It makes my nose look bigger than usual!" I really do have a huge nose. Perhaps with two husbands I can pull in enough cash for plastic surgery.

She glanced at my (stupid, big fat) nose and said, "Georgie, you wouldn't be making such a big deal of it if you were more confident, like a film star or a princess."

"Yes, well, if I was a princess I could have it named Zoë and get it crowned as a duke or something because it's big enough to run its own kingdom! If I was a princess, I also wouldn't have to deal with school and I'd have a lock on my door, but that's besides the point." I gave her a meaningful look

"Fine then, take yourself and Zoë to your room and tidy it, because you've already spent your pocket money for the week and you are not getting anymore."

"If I didn't live in such a stressful environment of a broken home, I bet I wouldn't get so many spots!" And with that I calmly walked to my room and did some wild dancing to my music, ignoring the requests to turn it down. When V finally came up and began yelling, I told him that all the people shouting at me had made me partially deaf and I couldn't hear the music any lower. Then he pulled the cord out of the wall and stormed away. How immature.

Monday, December 5th

First day of Operation Christmas Stocking

We all showed up to school with bits and bobs on our hats. Jules had tinsel and other ornament thingys and Ellen had stuck on some candies. Jas showed up with a boring little pom-pom at the back, claiming to be Father Christmas or an elf or somemat. I, however, was decked out to the extreme. With my fantabulous idea came amazing results. I had printed out a few pictures of downright good-looking blokes and colored little Christmas hats on them. Marvy, I say! Marvy!

break

Oh, what a fantastic day it is. Hawkeye gave us all looks when she caught us with ornamentation on our heads, but it was me she brought the iron fist down on.

"Now Georgia, I thought I had made it clear that if there was anymore—" cue evil death-glare "—tomfoolery that you would have to answer for it."

"Oh, but I was just getting in the holiday spirit, you know. Good will and all that." I am such a martyr and my friends should be happy I love them. While I was soothing the raging beast, they legged it.

My favourite woman in the world practically growled at me. I've got to go to her office this afternoon. The whole world's come to bollocks.

r.e.

Mabs has just handed me a note with a little gravestone on it saying, "Here lies Georgia". She really knows how to cheer a girl up.

after what I call torture, but others call school

I'm all set to go in. Hawkeye can't keep me down.

Who can say 'no' to a girl who has got fit boys on her beret?

5:00 pm

She obviously can.

5:04 pm

I can not believe this! She is punishing me for 'my horrible conduct', as she says, by making me join band! It's not fair!

later

Bloody funny, though.