Whack to the Future
A "My Life as a Teenage Robot" Fanfic
Chapter Six – My Life as a Teenage Nora
Jenny stared in disbelief at the strange new advertisement in the magazine. Then she finished reading the feature story about Phinneas Mogg. She had suspected that Mogg had come back in time to change history, and now she had the proof in her hands. Now it was Mogg, not Nora Wakeman, who apparently won the Robot Roundup, became famous, and went on to become the greatest robot scientist of the 21st century. Through his many inventions, he had built a huge multinational company called Mogg Robotics, which had made him the richest man in the world. And worst of all – in the new, altered version of 2074 – Jenny had not been created in Mrs. Wakeman's laboratory. She'd been built as one of millions of housecleaning robots in a Mogg Robotics factory.
She clutched her pigtails in exasperation. "Aiighh, what am I going to do? I don't wanna be a maid! I don't want to spend the rest of my life vacuuming carpets and cleaning windows!"
Sherman paced back in forth in his bedroom, deep in thought, drinking another can of warm soda. Jenny could see his eyes twitching back and forth as his brain wrapped itself around the amazing situation he found himself in. "Okay, don't panic. Now, I've read a few textbooks about the fabric of space and time, I've taken some college courses, and I've seen all three Back to the Future movies and eighty-two episodes of Doctor Who. I don't think the changes to history are permanent yet … after all, it still says 'Designed by Dr. Nora Wakeman' on the inside of your belly. But that could change. We need to make repairs to the timeline as soon as possible!"
He raised his hand, in a melodramatic sweeping gesture. "Number one, we have to make sure that Nora wins the Centerville Robot Roundup on Friday night! And number two, we have to get Nora and Sidney to fall in love with each other, sometime in the next three days."
Sherman was boiling over with enthusiasm, and had a million questions he wanted to ask Jenny - but twilight was already starting to fall, and he realized that it might be a bad idea for him to know too much about his own future. He offered to let her stay in his room, but she insisted that she sleep in the garage. It was a bit unpleasant hidden behind the minivan, but it would have been more uncomfortable to sleep in a boy's bedroom. Especially when the boy was eighty-six years old.
Jenny and Sherman quickly hurried along the sidewalk, heading across town towards the Smegglewyck house. She was relieved to be back outside, wearing her wig and second-hand clothes. It had actually been pretty boring spending most of Wednesday wandering about town; almost all the kids were in school. She had wanted to go back to the high school to hang out, but Sherman had felt that it was simply too dangerous to interact with any more people from her history. Jenny had reluctantly agreed. They didn't want to do any more damage to the past, if they could avoid it.
"So did you see Nora and Sidney at lunch today, Sherman?" she asked.
"Well, I've got good news, and I've got bad news," he answered, as they ran across a busy intersection. "The good news is, Nora agreed to let me help her with the computer programming in her robot's brain. I'm not as good as Sidney is, but I'm not too shabby. Once we get over to her house, we can go to work down in her basement."
"All right, that takes care of her robot." Jenny arched an eyebrow, as a bizarre thought occurred to her. "Wait a minute – if you wind up helping Nora with her robot, instead of Sidney, doesn't that mean that you two will fall in love and get married?" That would mean that back in the future, Sheldon winds up being my brother. Or is it my nephew? Gahhh, this is just too weird!
Sherman clutched nervously onto his laptop computer. "I don't think that's going to happen, Jenny. Nora and I have known each other for a couple of years, but we're just friends. I think she really does still like Sidney Wakeman. Umm ... and that's the bad news."
"Well, how can that be bad news? We want her to like him."
"Yeah, but while we were talking in the school library, Sidney came in to check out a book – and Brooke Krust was with him. She's got Sidney completely bamboozled." Sherman tried to sound sympathetic. "I guess I can hardly blame Sid – he's never really had much luck with girls, so he must be really flattered by the attention. But Nora saw them together, and she ran off crying, out of the library."
"Poor Mom," said Jenny, surprising herself. She would never have thought her mother capable of getting her heart broken … of course, there were times she wasn't sure she even had a heart. "But she must realize that Brooke isn't serious about Sidney, right?"
"We'll find out in a few seconds," he answered, "this is her house."
They stopped in front of an unassuming two-story tan-and-green house with a modest front lawn. Jenny had to take a moment to collect herself; she'd already met Nora twice here in the year 2004, but it was still amazing to her that she was about to meet her mother as a young girl. But come on – this is still Mom, after all. She was probably already working away on her science gizmo robot whatever-it-was, with her nose stuck in a mess of wires, fiddling with gears and motors and circuit boards, just like Jenny had seen her do hundreds of times back at home in her lab.
Sherman rang the doorbell, and a middle-aged woman with short white hair and a long nose answered the door. She wore a modest, simple dress that could be described as old-fashioned, even in the year 2004. Hi there, Grandma, Jenny smiled to herself. "Nora!" yelled the woman. "Young lady, you have guests at the front door!"
A pair of feet loudly clomped down the wooden stairs, making a deliberate stomp with every step. Nora had a foul expression on her face, and made no attempt to hide the vile mood she was in. She stopped a few steps from the bottom, saw Sherman standing in the doorway, and heaved her shoulders with a sarcastic sigh. "You sure didn't waste any time getting over here," she huffed. "I just got home from school five minutes ago. Why do you even care so much about a stupid hunk of junk, anyway? It's all just a big waste of time!"
"Nora!" gasped her mother. "That is no way to behave with guests in the house! Come down here this instant and invite your little friends in! Ask them if they'd like a nice glass of milk."
Nora slapped her forehead, and rolled her eyes in frustration. "Mo-therrr! Could you possibly be a little more embarrassing? Sherman, thanks for coming over, but you can go home if you want. I'm not going to waste any more time on that stupid robot. Gawd, I never want to see another robot again for the rest of my life!" And with that, she flew back up the stairs. Jenny and Sherman winced as the sound of a slamming bedroom door rang through the house like a cannon shot.
Nora's mother smiled apologetically, and turned to Sherman and Jenny. "I'm very sorry – Nora's not usually like this. She's been a little upset for some reason these past few days …"
Jenny was speechless. It was a bad omen to hear the woman who built her say that she never wanted to see another robot for the rest of her life. But even more stunning – she couldn't believe that Nora had just told off her own mother, right in front of them!
"Sherman, go down to the basement and set up your laptop computer," she instructed. "We only have two nights to fix things, and you can't afford to lose any time. I'll … I'll go upstairs and see if I can talk some sense into my mom."
While Sherman sweet-talked Nora's mother into a slice of freshly baked pie, Jenny gingerly walked up the stairs, wondering what on earth she was going to do. Everything about this little misadventure in time just kept getting weirder and weirder and weirder. She crept down the dimly lit corridor, approaching the innocent-looking door at the end of the hallway with equals parts dread and utter fascination. She felt like an archeologist, about to explore some mythical ancient tomb; who knows what strange wonders lie on the other side of that door? But Jenny didn't expect to be too surprised. Even though Nora was fifteen years old, Jenny still imagined that her bedroom must've been outfitted with test tubes and scientific equipment, like a university lab.
After a moment's hesitation, Jenny gently rapped on the bedroom door. "Umm … Nora? It's Jenny. Remember? I talked to you yesterday, at lunchtime."
There was no answer, and after a minute's silence, it was obvious that there wasn't going to be. Was Nora mad at her, for some reason? Jenny knocked again, and when there was still no answer, she gently turned the knob, and eased the door open. She couldn't believe her eyes.
The bedroom was a complete mess. Clothes were lying all over the floor; a hamper was overflowing with piles of underwear. The walls were covered with colorful posters; many had a science theme, including a large photograph of Albert Einstein. But right next to him was a poster of somebody named Christina Aguilera. She didn't look like a scientist. Nora was lying on her bed, with her head dangling over the edge of the mattress; her long, frizzled hair spilled down onto the floor in a tangled mess. She was wearing a large pair of headphones, which were plugged into a boombox that was turned up to high volume. She bounced one foot to the beat of her music, oblivious to her surroundings.
Jenny flung her arms in the air, forgetting herself for a moment. "Geez … when I do this, you yell your head off at me!"
The gesture caught Nora's attention; her surprise nearly knocked her onto the floor. She quickly jumped up, turned off her boombox, and yanked off her headphones in one rapid motion. She looked almost embarrassed. Her hair was frazzled, and it was apparent that she'd been crying. "Oh, I'm sorry … I didn't know it was you, Jenny."
Quickly slipping back into character, Jenny nervously rubbed the back of her head. "I didn't mean to surprise you like that. It's just … well, you looked really upset downstairs, and I was wondering if maybe you might like to … talk about it."
"There's not much to talk about," huffed Nora. She flopped herself back onto her bed. "I'm guessing that Sherman must have told you what happened in the library today. I feel like such an idiot."
Jenny cautiously sat down on a swivel chair, and turned to face her mother. "Don't say that, Nora! Look … sure, you're upset about Sidney. But he probably doesn't even know that he hurt you. Right now, that witch Brooke Krust is leading him around by the nose."
"Wow … sounds like you've had some bad experiences with Brooke Krust," said Nora.
"Or something like that," said Jenny, rolling her eyes. "But the important thing is, you shouldn't take it out on Sidney. It's not personal – he's not trying to hurt you."
"Of course it's not personal," Nora groaned, apparently very much in the mood to vent. "That's the whole point. It's impossible to get personal when you don't even know that someone's even alive!"
Nora gestured towards the far side of the bedroom, which was covered by a set of large wooden bookcases. The shelves were filled with thick books on a variety of scientific topics, and it looked very much like something Jenny would expect to see in her mother's room. But Nora grabbed an overstuffed pillow, and hurled it at the bookcase with contempt. "But then again, why would he know? I spend all my time reading books about science, and physics, and math. I'm the 'Science Queen', remember? Sure, I get straight A's on every report card. Fat lot of good that does me on Saturday nights."
"But … b-but I thought you liked science! Isn't that why you work with robots?"
"Robots? Pfft!" Nora folded her arms with a sarcastic expression. "That's all my mom's idea. She says robots are going to be really big someday, like computers and the Internet. She says that if I study and work hard, it'll pay off for me later in life. Well, robots might be big in the future, but all I know is, they're pretty lame right now!"
Nora reached under another one of her pillows, and stunned Jenny by pulling out an issue of YM Magazine. She looked at the cover, which showed a trio of impossibly beautiful teenage girls having fun in their impossibly fashionable summer clothing. She heaved her shoulders with another deep sigh.
"Mom never lets me do anything but study and read. Would an afternoon off cause any harm? But no … it's always, 'Nora, finish your homework! Work on your science project! But be back in your room before five!' Meanwhile, no one even knows my name. I want to have friends, and hang out like normal teenagers do! But who would want to hang out with a dumpy science nerd like me?"
Jenny blinked her eyes a few times – hmmm, this all sounds very familiar, for some reason – then quickly shook herself back to reality. "Well … you know, it's actually pretty neat that you're so smart, Nora. And it is kind of important to do well in school. You should be proud of yourself."
That didn't seem to make an impression on Nora. She flopped over backwards, dropping her head in a pile of pillows. "Mom just doesn't understand how much pressure there is, being a high school student these days. And it's worse when you're supposed to be smart, like me! For every other kid in class, if they came home with a 99 or an A-minus for an average, their parents would probably buy them a new car. My parents would say 'What went wrong?'"
Jenny had never seen her mother like this before – and found herself actually feeling a bit sorry for her. Seventy years from now, Nora was going to tell her robotic daughter about how high school was one non-stop party. Apparently, she felt a little differently here in the past, when she was actually in high school. As much as she wanted to agree with Nora, she had to find a way to steer her back towards her robot project. "Your mom seems like a really nice lady. I'm sure she just wants what's best for you."
"Yeah, that's what she always says," sighed Nora. "How in the world would she know what's best for me, anyway? She doesn't understand what it's like to be a modern teenager. Things have changed a little bit since she went to high school, back in the Stone Age."
Suddenly Nora hopped off the bed, with a mischievous smile on her face. "Let's get out of this dump, Jenny. We can sneak past my mom while she's in the kitchen. We can go hang out at the mall and see if there's any cute guys in the food court." She grabbed onto Jenny's arm. "Wow, you must work out. You're arm's like steel! Not an ounce of fat on you. You are so lucky."
Jenny snatched her arm away, completely flustered by Nora's behavior. "What? I mean … you can't sneak out! You have to go to work on your robot project, for the big contest on Friday night!"
Nora's face twisted in disbelief. "Robot project?!? Geez, I've wasted enough of my life on that miserable hunk of junk. Come on, let's go have some fun!"
So much for, 'there are more important things in life than fun!' "But if you don't fix it, then you'll never win the contest! And if you don't win the contest … um … well, you might regret it – later in life." And so will I! "It would be a shame to throw away all the work you've already put into it."
Nora gave her a nasty glare. "Cripes, Jenny … you sound just like my mother."
That threw Jenny's mind for a loop. She couldn't believe how different Nora was than what she'd expected. Well, what had she expected? She'd only known her mother for the past five years of her life, and for all of them, she was an old widow scientist. So she figured that young Nora would be … well, just a younger version of an old widow scientist. But teenage Nora was moody, and rebellious towards her mother, and sick of school, and crushing like crazy on a boy – well, a nerd, but technically he was still a boy. In other words, she was behaving like –
A teenager.
Jenny raised a gloved finger to her chin, and an idea started to germinate in her devious little electronic brain. I've got to stop treating Mom like Mom, and start treating her like a teenager.
"Actually, you know what, Nora?" she smiled. "You're absolutely right. You definitely deserve some 'mall time'. It'll be good for you. But what do you say we get you fixed up first?"
"Now you're talking!" smiled Nora, rejoicing in her impending little revolt against schoolwork. Jenny stood up and let Nora sit in the swivel chair, and pivoted her around to face a large mirror on her dresser. Her face was still puffy from twin streams of tears, but her mood had instantly improved. "Yeesh, it's going to take the rest of the night just to make me halfway decent. No wonder Sidney doesn't notice me! Why would he look at me when he's got Posh Spice hanging off of his arm?"
"Oh, I think you're too hard on yourself," said Jenny, trying to keep the conversation upbeat. She grabbed a hairbrush from the dresser, and stood behind Nora's chair. Then she slipped off a glove, grasped the hairbrush in her robotic hand, and started rotating it with a soft whirr of her motors. "Brooke doesn't have nice long brown hair, like you do Let's see if we can't straighten out those split ends. No peeking! Just sit back and relax."
Nora closed her eyes, and giggled. "Oooh, that feels really good."
"See, you feel better already!" And, Jenny noted, Nora looked like she was starting to relax. Good. Now to pull a little reverse psychology on my own mother. Heh, heh, heh. "Who cares about Sidney what's-his-name and that little tramp, Brooke?"
"Not me!" Nora smiled, playfully punching the air with her first.
"So what if Brooke's the prettiest and the smartest girl in school? She probably spends hours and hours in the bathroom every morning. How self-absorbed is that?"
"You know, you're right, Jenny … that is so pathetic …" Suddenly Nora's head snapped up. "Wait a minute. What do you mean, 'smartest girl in school'?"
"Hmm?" said Jenny, as innocently as she could. "Oh, that's just what I heard her say earlier today."
Nora turned around, with an annoyed look on her face. "What who said?"
Time to dangle the bait. "Oh, I overheard Brooke Krust at lunch today, bragging that everybody already knew she was the prettiest girl in school – and once she wins that silly robot contest on Friday night, everybody will know she's the smartest girl in school, too." Gotta keep a straight face …
"Smartest girl in school!?!" Nora was nearly apoplectic at the mere thought of it. "That blow-dried bimbo wouldn't know a soldering iron from a curling iron! Where in blazes does she get off saying stuff like that? Smartest girl in school … the nerve!"
"So what's the big crisis?" shrugged Jenny, fighting to keep from chuckling out loud. "You don't care about all that science and robot junk anymore, right? It's just a bunch of stuff you hate, that your mom makes you do."
"Well … I never said I actually hated it …"
"So what if Brooke says that, not only are nerds ugly and dateless, but they're not even that smart?"
"WHAT!?!" Nora jumped out of her chair, clutching her hands as if she were imagining herself strangling the tall, sculpted neck of Brooke the beauty queen. "I might look like a bag lady, and I may never date the quarterback of the football team … but there is no way I'm going to let some grapefruit-diet clothes horse like Brooke Krust get away with telling the school that she's smarter than me. That bubble-brain couldn't program a VCR, let alone a robot! Arrrghhhh!"
She stomped towards the door of her bedroom. "But what about the mall?" asked Jenny.
"That'll have to wait until the weekend," Nora replied, with sudden determination in her voice. She grabbed a few notebook papers and a calculator, disappeared into the hall, and ran down the stairs.
Jenny felt a tiny twinge of guilt for lying to her mother, but it was all for a good cause. Where she hadn't succeeded in appealing to Nora's sense of reason, she had gotten through to her ego. But all she'd accomplished was to keep Nora from dropping out of Friday's competition. She was still no closer to getting Nora and Sidney together. And there was still no guarantee that Nora would actually win. Now that she was safely alone, Jenny pulled the magazine out of the storage compartment in her belly. She flipped to page fifty-four. It was still a bright color photo of the Mogg Robotics 'Jenny' domestic robot. And she was still holding that stupid vacuum cleaner.
Continued in Chapter Seven