Disclaimer: Let's all pause a moment to think about this: would we really want the Dragon to own pokemon?

Chapter 7

Of the Diary of Mewtwo and Bedrock's Unfortunate Passing

June 12th, 2000

I have recently awakened in a tank of icky fluid. Blue clashes with violet beauty of my eyes; liquid going to be hell to remove. Kill scientists.

Memo: Scientists dead. Place destroyed. What? Serves them right for claiming that Mew looks cuter than me. I can be cute! *Growl* Rebuild later…

January 15th, 2000

Place rebuilt. Let's see that cute-ass Mew top that! Lab now looks really cool. Stupid humans.

Memo: Mew really does look cute. Saw a pic of her earlier…wow! At least…I hope it's a her. If it isn't, well…adjustments have to be made…

January 17th, 2000

Is very bored. Nothing here but blue sky, blue sea, and blue psychic energy. No wonder humans cloned pokemon! Have nothing better to do! Need company or I will go insane.

January 18th, 2000

Some freak called Giovanni stopped by today. Classic 'bad guy' look to him. Decided to play along since I get a spiffy new helmet to mess around with!

January 19th, 2000

Bad idea. Helmet actually a mind control devise. Keeps getting interference from local human movies, some more revealing than I would like…broke out of Gio's pad today, trashed his TV. Bet he will be pissed. Actually, he is. How fun.

Memo: Hate humans. Hate TV.

January 21st, 2000

Back to boredom. Playing Guess the Card with Slowpokes. As if they could ever beat me.

Current score record:

Mewtwo-13576625678786745245436

Slowpokes-0

Memo: Find more interesting folks to hang out with. Slowpokes speak funny, and are incredibly dull. Hate them.

January 30th, 2000

Very bored. Have resorted to thought-surfing. Amusing results. Have discovered that Lance is not entirely honest with Lorlei about his romantic preference, and that the tough guy Bruno has a thing for older, much more scary-looking women.

Memo: Avoid Elites at all costs.

February 9th, 2000

Got a greeting card from Lugia today. 'Happy birthday, and a Happy New Year!' Sickeningly cute Pichus shipped to me by the stupid turkey too. At least, they would have been, had the weather not suddenly changed for the worse.

Memo: Send coordinates to latest legendary meeting place to Eusine, and a vast number of professors, scientists and diehard trainers. Enjoy results.

February 13th, 2000

Celebi called. Said I need a hobby. Or a mate. Suggested Zapdos.

Memo: Hate legendaries. On plus side, got to try out that new bug zapper I've been dying to use.

February 14th, 2000

Have been pondering on the 'mate' idea. Think that Mew wouldn't be a bad choice…Really think I need a distraction! Have decided to further torment the pathetic human race just because I feel like it.

Memo: Kitties are cute…gah!

February 17th, 2000

People have actually come! I can't believe they understood my instructions! Engaged myself in utterly fulfilling expedition by venting my rage on a hapless public. Hate trainers. Hate humans. Hate crowds. Showed them my neato photocopy machine. Suddenly spouted clones. I knew the blasted Suicune was messing around with my stuff!

February 17th, 2000 (cont)

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG!!!! MEW CAME!!!!!!! Oh damn is she hot! Have decided to allow pathetic humans to go on living. Erased their memories and 'mysteriously' disappeared with Mew and my clones. But mostly Mew.

Memo: Thank Celebi for the tip-off. Offer to pay for medical expenses.

Brock giggled softly, then glanced over his shoulder. The cat-like pokemon was still out cold, his tail twitching in his sleep. The trainer sighed in relief, then went on flipping through the small blue book.

January 12th, 2003

Celebrated birthday today. Had a surprise party. Hate surprises…

Memo: Kill legendaries. Pretend to be happy and grateful to my huggable kitty-kins.

Brock's hand was in danger of being swallowed whole as he furiously tried to stifle his laughter. He flipped again.

January 26, 2004

Ash is an idiot. Hate new name of fellowship. Hate Wise Trio. Hate humans. Hate Ring. Hate Ash.

Memo: Destroy Asho Ketchums. Claim it was the work of the Ring. Miss my kitty-kins…want to go home.

January 30th, 2004

It has now been over four hours since I last destroyed something, Brock. Isn't that funny, Brock? I know you're sad about it, BROCK. Oh, and in case you're wondering, I am not asleep, and I really do hate people sneaking peeks into my diary. Too bad you're the first to actually test that statement, BROCK.

The Company woke to a shrill scream, and a strange gurgling sound.

"What was that?" Lugia asked, looking around. Ho-oh shrugged.

"Whatever it was, it's going to pay for disrupting my beauty sleep…"

"As if that would do any good-"

The second scream of the hour was courteously supplied by Lugia, who was mangled by a Sacred Fire attack. Mewtwo suddenly appeared, a strange smile on his face.

"It appears that our poor comrade Bedrock has fallen to the foul clutches of the Nosegrill." He said simply, removing a pair of rubber gloves. "'Tis a shame…I'm sure we'll all miss his talents…"

"Yep," Lugia said, as he fell back asleep.

"I'd kill him if he wasn't already dead," Ho-oh leant his support.

"I'm sure we could always get a Numel to carry the bags," Stantler gave his deepest condolences.

And with that, the tragic departure of the faithful Bedrock was forgotten with difficulty, as Ash practiced throwing pokeballs against trees so that they ricocheted off and impaled him in the head.

"I coulda sworn that was a Sudowoodo…"

-End Fic-

Heyho YK! Yeah, I'll update the Saiyuki fic some time in the coming week. Just 'cause you asked…awww….XD

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