Chapter 3: Saria's Rescuing.

Link: I will get the Master Sword.

Rauru: You don't need to be an adult.

Link: But I want to!

Rauru: But I don't want you to!

Link: But I want to!

Tatl: Well, I want a million rupees, but we don't always get what we want, so there, Link. Let's go.

Link: (plays minuet of the forest)

Tatl: Hey Link, what's going on?

Link: Didn't you play my game? We're going to the forest Temple! We're gonna save Saria! I thought you were smart.

Tatl: Hey! That hurt.

Link: Well, uh, never mind this. Here we are!

Tatl: OoOoOoOoO! Pretty temple! (flies over toward it)

Saria: AAAUUUGGHHHH!

Tatl: (falls out of air) What was that?!!?!?

Link: That was Saria, the sage of the forest.

Tatl: Do you like her?

Link: Wha- NO!! We're FRIENDS!!!

Tatl: Well, that means you like her.

Link: Well then, I like her.

Tatl: Ooh! Link and Saria, sittin in a tree, S-M-O-O-C-H-I-N-G-----

Link: SHADAP!

Saria: Hey, I'm a damsel in distress here. Come save me!

Link: Yeah, let's go Tatl.

Tatl: (makes smooching noise behind Link's back)

Link: (Duct tapes Tatl's mouth shut and shoves her inside his hat.) I'm coming Saria, I'm coming. Don't wet yourself.

Saria: Oops… I did. Sorry about that.

Link: TALLY HO! (hook shots onto a branch above the platform and drops onto it.)

Saria: Umm... Link? We installed a stairwell after you awoke me.

Link: Dang, I didn't see it.

Saria: Well, It's right in front of you!

Tatl: (from under link's hat) I always told you to get your eyes checked, Link.

Link: I thought I duct taped you mouth shut.

Tatl: I took it off. Don't you know you can never silence a highly annoying Fairy?

Link: No I didn't. Hold on, let me check the fairy manual. (opens book and reads aloud.) "Congratulations sir/miss on getting your own fairy. This is the guidebook to help you learn everything about your new friend. Rule number 1: Always be polite to your fairy." Oops, sorry Tatl. Didn't know. "Rule number 2: Never wash your fairy with tap water. Always use natural spring water, or they will shrink." Oh, that's why you're all tiny, Tatl. "And Rule number 3: Never duct tape your fairy's mouth shut, because highly annoying fairies always find a way to get it off, and anyway, smart fairies always take it off in the first place."

Saria: Hey, where'd you get that?

Link: It came with my fairy. Duh!

Saria: Well, how come I didn't get one?

Link: Because you have short term memory loss.

Saria: No I don't! Umm, why are we here again?

Tatl: (rolls eyes) To save you from Ganondorf.

Link: I thought I killed him in Chapter 2.

Dru: No you didn't, Link. I resurrected him.

Link: You are so evil!

Dru: Who cares?

Everybody in Hyrule except the evil people: WE DO!

Dru: Oh. I didn't realize so many people cared.

Link: Well we do, bub.

Kitz: I don't.

Dru: I thought I told you to go away.

Kitz: Well, I didn't.

Link: Oh yay, you're back!

Tatl: (whispering) You like her, don't you.

Saria: Link, I thought you liked me!

Malon: No, he likes me!

Ruto: No, me!

Zelda: Hey, I'm the princess. He likes me!

Malon: Shut up, Zelda. Hey, you're all sages. I want to be a sage!

Link: AUUGH!! TOO MANY GIRLS!!!

Dru: By the power vested in me, I hereby banish Zelda, Ruto, Malon, and my sister from this chapter of the story. And I'm getting myself a cherry slushie. OK, people. Continue the story.

Tatl: Let's go to the boss room.

Dru: Yeah, Link. Lets go to the boss room.

Link: Be quiet and get on the elevator!

Tatl: OK Link. You don't have to get nasty.

Link: You're right. (turns into a werewolf and punches the floor, making a huge hole in it, then howls, growls, and turns normal again)

Kitz: Cool, you're a werewolf. Who bit you? Professor Lupin?

Dru: GO AWAY!

Tatl: (clapping) OK. You made a hole right to the boss room.

Link: I did? Oh Yeah! I did.

Tatl: Shut up and jump down here.

Link: OK. (jumps down and does a face plant) ow.

Tatl: Are you alright?

Link: I think I broke my nose and skull. Ow

Saria: Yay! You're here.

Link: Yes, Saria, I'm here.

Phantom Ganon: AAAWWW. Such a lovely reunion. NOW DIE!!

Link: Yay! Tennis! (takes out two tennis rackets) Here.

PG: Thanks. NOW DIE! (throws an energy ball at Link)

Link: (hits it with his racket)

Tatl: (puts up a scoreboard and takes out a microphone) The energy ball game is about to begin.

Kokiri, gorons, zoras, dekus, hylians, and gerudos: YAY!

Kokiri, gorons, zoras, dekus, and hylians: GO LINK!![I will use Good crowd for short]

Gerudos: Go Phantom Ganon!!!

Tatl: Okay. It's 0-0 right now. Wait. make that 1-0. Link scores.

Good crowd: Yahoo!

PG:OOOWWW

Link: (slashes PG 5 times) Ha!

Gerudos: BOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Tatl: This will get intense. Now it is 1-1. PG scores.

Good crowd: BOOOOO!

Gerudos: Yay!

Tatl: Now It's 2-1. No, 2-2, No 3-2, no 4-2. And Link Wins. (PG dies)

Good crowd: YAY!

Gerudos: AAAWWWWW MAAAAAAAAN!

Link: That was fun.  And I was a child this time.

Saria: That was terrific. (hugs Link)

Link: Woah! This is not right! This is not right! LET GO OF ME!

Saria:……………………………..

Link: (takes out a letter opener) This should get you off me. (Saria takes it and throws it away)Why does she look so dreamy?. (notices a look on Saria's face)I hope she won't do what I'm thinking she might do.(notices her staring at him)She's gonna do it. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (kicks Saria to knock her off him then runs)

Saria: (runs around trying to kiss Link) Come on Link! Why'd you run away?

Link: Because of you trying to kiss me!

Tatl: The match is over. You can leave now. (all of the crowd leaves)(now talking to Link) Link, just let her do what she wants to do!

Link: NO! I'm only 12 years old. Kissing is sick!

Tatl: Of course it is!

Link: Really?

Tatl: NO!!!

Link: Well then. That means you are taking Saria's side.

Tatl: No I'm not!

Link: Yes you are! OH CRAP!! SHE'S ALMOST ON ME!!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! (runs away)

Saria: Crap! I almost had him.

Link: Yeah! Will you ever stop trying to kiss me until you do kiss me?

Saria: No. (starts running towards Link)

Link: Oh crap! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (trips) Oh crap!

Saria: (leaning towards his face)

Link: (petrified) Oh Crap! (tries to kick Saria and misses) Oh crap! Wait! (puts on Don Gero's mask) Come frogs, come!

Frogs: You called?

Link: Yes. Now get her away from me! She's nearly on me!

Frogs: OK. (hop under Saria and then do a huge jump, knocking Saria away from Link)

Link: Thank you! Here is 100 rupees for your service.

Frogs: Thank you and your welcome.

Link: Yeah. Bye.

Frogs: Yep. Bye.

Link: Ok, Saria, are you gonna stop now.

Saria: yes.

Dru: She finally stopped.

Saria: What? I just wanted to kiss him.

Dru: Saria, let me tell you something.

Saria: What?

Dru: HE'S TWELVE YEARS OLD!!!! HE HATES KISSING!!!!! Don't you know that?

Saria: No. I thought he was 34.

Link: No. Since I'm not connected with the Great Deku Tree anymore, I'm a 12 year old Hylian.

Saria: Oh. I had no idea.

Dru: OK. This will be the end of chapter 3.

Link, Saria, and Tatl: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

Dru: Say bye.

Link, Tatl, and Saria: Bye.

Dru: This is the end of chapter 3. I hope you think it's funny. Link has rescued Saria. 1 down, 5 to go.

Kitz: Let's make Malon a sage.

Dru: Let's not and say we did.

Kitz: Well then, make me a sage!

Dru: Uh… no.